Today I’ve decided to tackle a different subject. Why? Because once again, just this week, I’ve been horrified by the sociopathic behaviour of a corporation towards one of my dearest friends. This friend of mine, I’ll call him Jack, is a hugely talented, dedicated professional who has worked all his life in the people industry. He is a Managing Director, and has the most incredible people-skills. Teams who work with him — even those who may have been somewhat disparate before his arrival — will galvanize together and with him to deliver outstanding results. He is, in my opinion, a superstar who genuinely cares for people and who gives his all to his employers. He’s always been that way. Oh — his input also ensures that his teams win countless national awards for their efforts.
Pretty good credentials eh, wouldn’t you think? Well, I would. And so would his team. And so does just about everybody who knows him – he has an incredible reputation, is well-liked, and fantastic at what he does, because he loves what he does. His most recent employer is a massive and well-respected organization who list among their values “honesty, integrity, courage and fairness”. Yes, they are big words. But those big words can be found in so many typically cheesy mission statements that are stuck up on so many walls of global businesses — and ignored. Jack and I are no strangers to corporate-speak. We’ve both played in the professional arena for most of our lives and have experienced many kinds of corporate animal along the way.
“But you know what, Mel?” he’d enthused at the beginning of last year “This is such a refreshing difference, because this company actually means what they say. They’re true to their values, and I’m really glad to be here!”
Pathalogical Lying
But”¦ and it’s a huge but”¦ his faith was mis-guided because, these values on which my dear friend and so many others had hung their hats, turned out to be nothing more than pathological lies.
“Oh, come along now Mel, isn’t that a bit harsh?” Yes, some people may well say that. And the thing is, it’s because so many people continue with that line whenever corporations behave badly towards their employees (and suppliers, and customers, and so many human beings who are touched by their actions) that they continue to get away with what I now term text-book corporate sociopathic behaviour.
“It’s a dog eat dog world out there!” “It’s not personal, it’s just business!” “Well, you’ve got to be tough to survive in this industry!” Those are typical examples of the excuses for poor behaviour that I hear time and time again during my professional career as a leadership and team development specialist. And it concerns me that it’s deemed “ok” to treat people in the business world in a completely different fashion from the “real” world. It’s “ok” to squeeze every last drop of loyalty from employees. It’s “ok” to promise great rewards, and then cull people at the whim of a new board executive who “didn’t like somebody’s face”
In business, human beings often become faceless numbers — and ambitious, hard-hitting leaders can get away with being ruthless manipulators. “The bottom line is king!” is a mantra that seems to excuse what I would deem inhuman behaviour towards the lifeblood of the organization – the human beings who make it happen. Figures, statistics and profit have taken over — yes, I realize, of course, that these elements are what make the wheels of industry turn. Don’t worry, I’m not turning in to some flakey hippy-type, burning josticks and spouting free-love and peace to all (well, not yet in any case!). I am a successful businesswoman myself. Of course I work to create money — that’s why I’m in business! But”¦ and here’s the important difference”¦ I know that my business depends on the people within it. My team. My clients. My suppliers. We have a simple mission statement “To create raving fans”. And that’s what we do. And in order to do that, we therefore have to be honest courageous, fair — and whatever other number of values Jack’s employers spouted as their guiding values. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
No Conscience
Jack’s employers, however, like so many other companies I have come across in my time, have proven themselves as little more than conmen who will manipulate the truth, believing themselves to be above the law, and turning on the very people who have upheld their banner for them — showing no remorse and no empathy. Hmmm”¦ does this ring any bells here?
Fine, some may suggest that I’m merely jumping on the sociopathic bandwagon to make a point. Others may say that I will spot psychopaths everywhere since I now know what to look out for. I say that my personal experience has now simply allowed me to pinpoint more clearly where those sociopathic tendencies are showing themselves within an organization. Whether it’s seeped in to the culture, whether it’s led and encouraged by the board, or whether it’s just the specific behaviour of an individual. How far it may have spread, and what steps can be taken to counter it. And, trust me – these behaviours can be so hard to spot, and can lull so many wide-eyed and loyal employees in to a false sense of security, that by the time they realise what’s happening it’s too late. Another all-too familiar story perhaps…?
Is it really right that people should come in to work and behave completely differently as human beings? There is an advert on British TV at the moment, asking why we behave aggressively when we’re driving cars, if we wouldn’t behave that way walking down a crowded street? It conveys its message in an amusing and clever way. And to me, it’s exactly the same thing in business. For many years (way before I knew anything about sociopathy!) I have been banging on about the dangers of what I call “corporate double-speak” — the business-babble language that seems to exist purely in the business world. Why say, for example, “we must secure more resources” when what they mean is “I could do with some more people—¦? In my mind, that kind of distancing terminology at the very least merely serve to depersonalize, and in the worst cases desensitizes to the point where we forget we are dealing with human beings. Real people who have real feelings and real lives! It’s clever and it’s subtle – but it’s brainwashing.
Control and Manipulation
Let me ask this in another way. How ‘just’ do you think it is that a company hires a highly respected and experienced people-manager on the promise of long employment and great rewards? That the same company encourages this manager to go out on a limb and “do things differently” in order to get the job done? And that at the flick of a switch, that same company then tells the manager (who has succeeded in achieving the impossible, through dedication, devotion, and putting years of valuable experience in to play) that they have decided on an organisational re-structure and that his role is no longer valid? Fair enough, you may say, business changes. Of course it does. I agree. But what I don’t agree with was the fact that this manager was then accompanied off the premises like a criminal, but wasn’t allowed to say anything to his team. In fact, he wasn’t given any further information — nor was he allowed to share his news or voice his fears to anyone else within the company. He was forbidden to answer calls and emails from his concerned staff. He was given no opportunity to ask for detailed explanations (“your case will be discussed at next week’s meeting — not before”). He was isolated in every sense of the word. Or, as another person put it, was treated to “Mushroom Management”… kept in the dark and fed on shit.
Now, I’d call that kind of behaviour abusive — wouldn’t you?
This treatment went on for over three weeks — can you imagine how his team must have been feeling, deserted by a boss they respect and admire? Are they really going to be willing or able to give their heart and soul again in the future — once bitten twice shy and all that. On top of that, does this kind of short-sighted decision-making really take in to account the long-term health of the company? Surely this is just another example of impulsive behaviour, and a failure to accept responsibility for such actions — you can bet your bottom dollar my friend will be paraded as the scapegoat, while ”˜those at the top’ continue to twist and turn their decisions, re-defining the goal-posts whenever boredom strikes again? Leaving the teams to wonder “what did I do wrong? Is it going to be me next” and forcing people to keep their heads down and walk gingerly over the scattered eggshells.
Does this sound familiar”¦?
At the end of the three weeks, by the way, this particular “values-driven” company went back on what they had promised in the first meeting, ultimately implying that my friend is a liar.
“There’s nothing we can do” said my friend’s solicitor “There were two of them in the meeting and one of you. It’s their word against yours.”
He is finally out of there, with a pretty measly pay-off, having been forced to sign a legal contract promising that he will never say anything derogatory about the company or about his treatment at their hands. His team, however, still have to wait another few days to be told the truth.
Corporate sociopathy to a tee, wouldn’t you agree? There are so many more examples, and I’m only just starting to get my teeth in to this massively unexplored area. So the business world had better watch out, because as you know, I’m not one to stay quiet.
Corporate sociopathy is not only “real,” but rampant. I worked for a Gannett company for only 2 years because I was expected, as a Manager, to Do Things to cause people to quit, rather than fire them (unemployment benefits, of course). Well, this was the tip of the proverbial icebug, and my belief is that Corporate practices promote sociopathy, at the highest leve, and of the highest order. The Corporate definition of “Restructure” can be loosely associated with “Extraordinary Rendition.” The victim doesn’t have the benefit of any information – just pack these cardboard boxes, get out, and we’ll talk about this at a later date. Why is the person being “restructured” out of a position? It’s always a mystery, and the poor person is escorted to the door by Security just in the event that they go postal.
At the moment, I’m dealing with something that is similar to corporate foolishness, but it involves a paid employee and me, a volunteer and sometimes-paid-non-credit-instructor. Regardless of how much I may love a place and the Director, I will not give my time and energies to any organization that allows one person to behave badly on a consistent basis, especially when their activities cannot be disputed. The employee in question has been mentioned in recent posts (BEFORE the marriage collapse), and I finally discovered why people have been walking on eggshells around me and asking me questions that didn’t make sense this past Saturday – 3 weeks of people acting as if I was getting ready to slip a cog, and New Face finally cleared up the mystery for me.
New Face showed up at my house, last Friday, to retrieve some items out of my studio that I had been storing there for her. With her came a fellow that I have known for 7 years and his girlfriend. With me were my son and my spouse. We loaded her truck up and, as she was turning to go, said in a pained voice, “I wish we could be friends.” I was flabbergasted – inappropriate to say that in front of 4 people who had nothing to do with the issues, and utterly BAD FORM! I simply replied, “We just work together, New Face,” and didn’t say another word.
Next day, New Face shows up at the studio with her husband in tow and doesn’t say a word to me, which is okay, but the hostility level has really been harming the studio. Now, it’s important to keep in mind that the Director rescheduled New Face to work on days when we wouldn’t have to interact with one another – for the past 2 Saturdays, New Face has made it a point to breeze into the studio on a Saturday when the Director would not be there.
As New Face was leaving, I asked her into the office to talk it out. She came in, sat down, and immediately began attempting to take control of the discussion. Of course, I was to blame for everything. She began getting shrill and accused me of getting “into (her) face” and that I was only “inches away from (her) face!” Now, she was shouting and everyone else in the studio could hear her. She accused me of destroying pottery items simply because I thought they were ugly, and many, many other misdeeds. I told her that she was crazy and that I had never done any such thing without proper “authorization” to get rid of something. So, it’s NO WONDER that long-time resident artists are asking me if I am “feeling better” and “why would (I) want to get into it” with the New Face.
With regard to the reason that New Face refused to attend a meeting with the Director, she said (and, I quote), “Of COURSE I wasn’t going to do that! It would only have given you a chance to BITCH!” That sealed it – the woman’s off her proverbial rails and I am resigning as a volunteer.
The Director will never believe that New Face is dangerous because New Face presents a honey-sweet exterior and is very, very manipulative – VERY manipulative. And, the Director is an enabler – she doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, wants everyone to LIKE HER, and cannot deal with confrontation. Well, Truth is what it is, and it’s not always dripping with sweetness and love. Sometimes, the Truth is harsh, cold, and ugly, and that’s just the way it is.
This goes true with Corporate behavior – people just do not realize how simple words can destroy lives: restructure; new resources; outsourcing; etc. I cannot exist in a Corporate environment because I cannot play those types of games with people’s lives, NOR do I want such games played with mine.
Too bad there isn’t better business law with regard to what Corporations are held accountable for. From my personal experience, there is no accountability, at all.
I’m pretty mad at myself for letting the office Jerk and my EX-Boyfriend, JERK my chain last week. I mean really, I blew my best chance of getting a promotion to a different job because I had to go off the deep end in an interview talking about the office bully! I don’t care if he bullied me all that morning, it was stupid kindergarten stuff that would have made most people laugh at him. Instead I let it get under my skin and blow my chances for getting out of his office, yet again!
When I told my manager about what had happened when he was gone on vacation I said that it wasn’t WHAT he did to bully me, it was the fact that I was being bullied at work, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It bothers me even more that every one knows he bullies, and find it acceptable behavior for him. When I told my boss what Jerk had done, he got all excited and said what good news it was, because that was Jerk’s “management style.” Being the team lead when the boss was gone this proved he was taking responsibility for me as an employee, where he’d refused to in the past.
Hello, my boss just said it was a GOOD thing and that he was happy that the EX-boyfriend who abused me so bad for two years that it gave me C-PTSD is abusing me, “ever so slightly” at work with his stamp off approval!. Why? Because now I’m being treated as bad as every one else that works with him, so I’m a part of the team. Oh joy.
You can’t turn some one in to HR for standing behind every person you talk to all day long to give you the bully look, that is something you really can’t turn them into hr for, but at the same time when others KNOW he does this to bully people into going back to their desks, and submitting to what ever HE thinks is their required tasks, BECAUSE THEY FEEL INTIMIDATED BY HIM, I think there’s something really wrong.
I’m put off in a corner by myself to keep me away from this monster in the office, and so I don’t have as good of working relationships with my co-workers as I’d like, so once in a while I make the rounds, just to let ever one know I’m still over there, still work there, and I can help if they need it. I don’t need the jerk that stole 5 yrs of my life, trying to phyc me out when the boss is out of town, to keep me in line with HIS other slaves.
They have lofty words of what they want there. I read them in the office emails about proper work environment, and I want to laugh out loud, because to make up for my managers kind hearted, though misguided management style we have the office bully/team lead/ex-boyfriend to counter balance it.
Truthseeker,
Thank you for this:
“And, the Director is an enabler ”“ she doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, wants everyone to LIKE HER, and cannot deal with confrontation.”
This has always been my weak spot – I don’t know why I never recognized the “I don’t want any fuss” enablers before, but for some reason I was blind to them. Lately I’ve come to see that the whole bully system would fall apart if it wasn’t for them – so they are probably the most dangerous character of all. And up until recently I always bought their story, even though their true character always comes up when the sh*t hits the fan – and their true character is never concerned about whether anyone ELSE gets hurt. Matter of fact, I think their fondest wish is often that the other person get hurts real bad real quick – so that they can get back to ‘peace and quiet’ and everybody liking THEM again.
And if things start getting wooly its often them who do the dirty work and show their fangs, and the bully gets to sit back and smirk.
Wow… GREAT article! I have always believed that there are many sociopaths leading corporations and I knew sociopathy was at work when my company “downsized” because I’d seen it happen to others… I somehow never expected it would happen to me too. I actually believed that those “others” had done something wrong – something I didn’t know about – and their end was probably deserved. Boy was I wrong! I was Executive Assistant to the President of a larger Florida aluminum fence manufacturer. The President was a bit of an inigma in that he had started small and built his business from scratch, something I admired. But then as the business grew and he hired other “corporate leaders” things began to change. In fact, I came to the company in the midst of these changes. Well, I’ve always been of the mind that if you work hard and do a great job that it will be appreciated. In fact, I’d worked as an Executive Assistant for more than 15-20 years at this point and I was good, very good! I’d never gotten less than an excellent review and that was because I was always willing to go the extra 10 miles if needed and I didn’t wait to be asked, I’d volunteer when I saw a need. Well, when they lost their Human Resources Manager I was asked to do time and attendance until they replaced the manager. I readily agreed but when they found out that I was also completely familiar with payroll they gave me that too. I knew nothing about benefits and insurance but they called in the rep to teach me, they gave me workman’s comp and day-to-day dealing with employees and pretty much every function in the HR Dept in addition to my job as Executive Assistant to the President. For 6 months I carried the company on a promise that I would be rewarded. I came over the winter holidays to assure that payroll was run, I did two jobs for one salary and one would think I’d be appreciated, right? Well I wasn’t… and when they terminated me they were afraid of all the information I’d had access to. They made me sign one of those contracts with a measly severance pay and escorted me back to my office and stood there while I cleaned out my desk. In the contract I was forbidden to speak with employees or future employers about what they’d done. I felt like a criminal because they treated me that way. I don’t know what they told co-workers other than not to talk to me because obviously those closest to me stayed in touch. Just the entire production led them to believe I’d done something unscrupulous and even though “management” told them I didn’t, they knew the employees would think they were just trying to be fair to me when in fact they were doing nothing of the sort. When I walked out the doors that day I had mixed emotions – confusion about what I’d done to deserve this and also relief that I would no longer be a part of a business I could never believe in or support again. You have put a name to what I felt that day, to the people I’d been serving to the best of my ability who felt threatened by my knowledge and had zero concept of what loyalty was all about. Obviously they didn’t have any so they could not conceive of anyone being honest or loyal… that is why corporate sociopaths exist.
Whether or not you support the Occupy Wall Street movement, there can be no doubt that much of the pent up frustration and anger is a result of greedy, selfish, predatory, abusive, remorseless behavior inflicted on honest, well meaning people. I have no quarrel with anyone who defines those behaviors as sociopathic.
My personal destruction at the hands of my ex-spath wife caused me to suddenly realize for the first time in my (now relatively long) life that I have worked for numerous spaths over the course of my career. My story is similar to Jack’s — moving mountains for corporate CEO’s who exploited everyone and anyone for their own aggrandizement.
But I’ve learned a thing or two about subterfuge from my ex-spath, and cruel & abusive bosses can be successfully undermined, if done patiently and surreptitiously. Turnabout is fair play…
Stories like Mel’s should be shared widely and regularly (just as Donna’s doing with Lovefraud) in order to alert people to the very real danger we all face from so-called “leaders” — be they hedge fund managers, bankers, politicians or priests who will say or do anything to get what they want, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.
It’s time to fight back and expose these frauds for who and what they are, and toss their bony arses to the curb where they belong. They will never change or give up — we victims know that — and so, neither should we. Exposing these cockroaches to the light of day is the only way to take back our lives… and our countries.
This is the reason that there are unions, associations, and of course, lawyers……..
Oh, dear…I could go on and on about the Corporate Sociopath and the corporate work environment as a whole.
Truthspeak: You said you cannot exist in a corporate environment because you won’t play the games…Bingo! Me either and that is why I got out of there! That is not me to play games and because I didn’t, I never got anywhere. I worked at a huge company and the red tape I endured for 12 years was enough for two lifetimes. I NEVER will go back to corporate. I will work in food or retail (which I hate) before I would EVER go back to a corporate environment.
Shocknawe: You said almost the exact words I said to my X spath in a letter…”leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.” I couldn’t believe it when I read your words! I wrote to him, “you left a path of destruction in your wake.” Also what you said is so true…they will say and do anything to get what they want. My X spath is at Director level of a huge, important component of that huge company. He got there I am sure by exuding his charm and by being able to manipulate people to do what he wants them to do; he’s a leader, but not such a good one. Maybe good on the surface, but evil underneath. It’s unbelievable to me.
QUOTE ANNIE: “This has always been my weak spot ”“ I don’t know why I never recognized the “I don’t want any fuss” enablers before, but for some reason I was blind to them. Lately I’ve come to see that the whole bully system would fall apart if it wasn’t for them ”“ so they are probably the most dangerous character of all. And up until recently I always bought their story, even though their true character always comes up when the sh*t hits the fan ”“ and their true character is never concerned about whether anyone ELSE gets hurt. Matter of fact, I think their fondest wish is often that the other person get hurts real bad real quick ”“ so that they can get back to ’peace and quiet’ and everybody liking THEM again.
And if things start getting wooly its often them who do the dirty work and show their fangs, and the bully gets to sit back and smirk.”
Absolutely TOWANDA!!!! RIGHT ON!!!!!
Katy,
I appreciate sociopathy being pointed out WHEREVER it is occurring, whether it is in personal, corporate or political situations.
Let’s face it, there is no place that the spaths have not or will not infiltrate. That’s why refusing to participate is so important. But you can’t refuse to participate unless you SEE the BS. Sometimes, it’s hard. Lucifer appears to be a shiny bright angel — at first.
Hey guys, Let’s not DEBATE politics here….MY opinion is that ALL politicians are high in Psychopathic traits or they wouldn’t even want to BE politicians….so if we can get along “religiously” and not put each other’s opinions down, I think we probably better leave the SPECIFICS of politics alone.