Lovefraud’s friend Ann at WomenExplode.com recently posted an interview with a 49-year-old man who had never been married. The man engaged in serious impression management. But, since Ann had known him for 10 years, she knew when his words were BS—and pointed them out in her story. It’s hysterical.
Read Interview with a never-married 49-year-old man on WomenExplode.com.
Ox Drover
Thanks for this link Donna!!!! Great Article, and great point of view about this man’s thinking! I liked the little “vote” on like or disliked the article.
callmeathena
Haha! A great dose of reality. Makes me realize how pathetic my spath was. THanks for the laugh.
Athena
purewaters3
This was pretty cool… How to spot a liar, this was on CNN
http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c1#/video/us/2011/11/12/ted-pamela-meyer.ted
Hosanna
@purewaters3
Thanks for sharing the video about spotting a liar!! Very interesting!!
Especially what she said about the “over-sharing” in blogs and Twitter!! So true of my psychopath ex!! Big elaborate stories to manipulate women into feeling sorry for him!! Pure fiction!!
libelle
Dear Purewaters3,
thanks for the link, very interesting!! Specially the intro, when she puts the mirror in front of us that points out that we all are expert liars! For me the toughest thing at the moment: I have been deceiving myself for such a long time, practically during all my life, strictly speaking. How to find trust in myself again? And how to tell the neighbors that I am unemployed (I have been working 60+ hours per week before and my apartment is under strict observation by the neighbors next door and the housekeeper)?
Allergic to Spandex
Libelle, is your job field one in which you could plausibly claim to be doing some “long-distance consulting, working from home over the computer”? (In my ex-spath’s case, “consulting” became a code word for “dealing drugs,” and “working from home” turned into “having a hangover and going back to sleep,” but everybody believed him anyway!)
libelle
Dear LadySweetG, in fact I COULD be dealing drugs and sleep in all the time 🙂 ! just seems not a perspective in the long run. No, my neighbors are my aunt and uncle, who own the building I have rent a wonderful flat. They were perplex as it turned out badly march 2010 when I could not become a partner in a private praxis (I am a physician). They were also very concerned about my working hours at the place I got fired two weeks ago. Once I forgot to shut the door of my balcony for two days in a row and they called the hospital and later my mum because they could not reach me in the hospital. They are very considerate not to interfere too much with my life but have an eye on me. I feel safe and cared for (although I turn 50 next year…). I will invite them next week to a lunch and tell them everything. The truth is always easiest. And the others need not to know anything, it is none of their business.
At the moment I am in a career counseling and I am almost ready to embark to another specialisation in psychiatry according to Victor Frankl (he invented logotherapy). It would be a payed for internship in a hospital. Will meet my counselor in 2 weeks, will have to discuss all these things with him. But I am very excited and optimistic.
But thanks anyway for your considerations, they made me smile! And if everything else fails, I will come back to this possibility 😉
Ox Drover
Dear Libelle,
I grew up with the mantra “what would the neighbors think?” and it wasn’t important what actually went on in our household, but more important what the neighbors THOUGHT about us.
In the end, Libelle, IT IS NOT IMPORTANT WHAT THE NEIGHBORS THINK….don’t let that stress you out, don’t let it make you lie, they have no right to know about your business. If someone asks, just say, “I’ve got some time off.” You are NOT REQUIRED to explain your life to them, or your job or anything else.
When I went on the Aftermath Radio, I finally came out of the closet and used my name….I am no longer ashamed of myself, and my family. The shame belongs to the people who do bad things, I didnt’ do anything bad to be ashamed of.
You are HUMAN, you made a mistake and you got fired. I am human, I’ve made lots of mistakes…but my mistakes are NOT FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW UNLESS I CHOOSE TO TELL THEM. You do not owe these neighbors to tell them your business.
((((hugs)))) and hold your head up high….and tell them the truth, but NOT THE ENTIRE TRUTH WHICH IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
Ana
Hi Oxy,
I went to aftermath radio can I could not find your latest interview. Do you know if it’s available to hear yet? I’m looking forward to listening! Thanks.
libelle
Dear Oxy, thank you for your encouragement! “I got some time off” is a GREAT phrase, I will use it, thanks a lot! (like when I was rehearsing with my patients how to tell the others that they got cancer 🙁 )
When I was a child my parents gave a rat’s behind what all the others were thinking and did horrible things all the time, and I was always very ashamed of them. They told me that I had to learn to ignore the others when I begged them to be a little more decent.
Well: time to become wiser, isn’t it?