The subject of the overlap between bipolar disorder and sociopathy is important to me personally and professionally. One of the reasons I did not understand my husband was that I saw him as a “bit on the manic side.” In some of the letters he sent me from prison, he declared himself to be “bipolar” rather than psychopathic/sociopathic. My experience is not unique, in our survey of Women Who Love Psychopaths, Sandra L. Brown, M.A. and I asked about manic symptoms in male partners. Over half of the women attested to the presence of these symptoms in their men.
I first wrote about the connection between bipolar disorder and sociopathy in March, 2007. For more background please read ASK Dr. LEEDOM: What is the difference between bipolar disorder and sociopathy?
There is a link between bipolar disorder and sociopathy that has been explored in a very important recent study. Two researchers from the University of Toronto, Dr. Benjamin Goldstein and Dr. Anthony Levitt looked at data from more than 1000 patients with bipolar disorder ((Am J Psychiatry 2006; 163:1633—1636). They divided them into three groups, childhood onset (prior to 13), adolescent onset and adult onset. They then looked at the prevalence of sociopathy in the three groups. Bipolar disorder was associated with sociopathy in 37 percent of childhood onset cases, 30 percent of adolescent onset cases and 16 percent of adult onset cases. It should be noted that these percentages are all much higher than the estimated prevalence of sociopathy in the general population (4%). I did find research from another group in Britain essentially verifying these results.
The above results suggest that the manic mood problems that are associated with bipolar disorder interfere with personality development. The earlier the manic mood problems start, the more personality is affected. I have had the privilege of teaching child adolescent and adult development many times now. It is well established that our personalities do not stop developing at 18 that is why mood problems at any age can affect personality.
Why would a manic mood be associated with the development of sociopathy? Next week I will explore this notion further reporting on a study of fearless temperament in children. This week though I would like to point out that when many people are manic, they become preoccupied with power and dominance. It is very common for manic patients to believe they are some powerful political or religious leader. One group of animal researchers has put together some convincing arguments that dominance in rats can be used as an animal model to test medications for mania. So mania and dominance motivation have the same biologic correlates.
Although a sense of wanting to accomplish tasks and become independent are important for adults and children, excessive dominance can impair a person’s ability to love. Since children are in the process of learning to love, a preoccupation with dominance can poison all their social interactions. A dominant child that frequently misbehaves becomes a target for discipline by all the adults in his/her life. Although discipline may be necessary, excessive discipline prevents the child from enjoying loving interactions with his parents and teachers. If a child does not learn to enjoy love, he/she will likely not incorporate loving behaviors into his/her personality. Without loving behaviors there is nothing to prevent exploitation of others.
All of this leads me to say that temperamentally and genetically at risk children need specialized focused, loving parenting. At risk children include the offspring of parents with bipolar disorder, sociopathy/psychopathy, addiction, alcoholism and ADHD. If you are a parent of an at risk child, I encourage you to visit Parenting the at-risk child and consider joining the new Forum. This Forum is operated by the Aftermath group, which is a joint collaboration between victims and researchers. I would like to see parents supporting each other through the very difficult task of preventing sociopathy in at risk kids. Although many children will develop disordered in spite of the best parenting and professional help available, there is much indirect evidence that parenting can make a difference for some. More on genetics and temperament next week.
ADDENDUM: The afternoon after I wrote this news organizations broke the story of Peter Dawson who was sentensed to prison for a scheme that defrauded seniors out of their life savings. Dawson is quoted as to saying he has “bipolar disorder.” District Attorney Kathleen Rice stated “Mr. Dawson preyed on his clients, many of them elderly, in order to line his own pockets, and he abused his position of trust to satisfy his own lifestyle,” -Mr. Dawson may have bipolar disorder but he is also described as a predator by Ms. Rice.
I want revenge. I would not do it myself. I want it in the form of the earth and karma coming together to balance the injustice. The kind of karmic revenge as a just desserts. The kind of world where if you make poor decisions and do things that hurt people, that it will come back to haunt you. And I want to see it. I don’t want to wait until the afterlife, in the hopes that they haven’t been forgiven. I want it to happen now while I can watch it. This is a new feeling for me. I have never, ever felt revenge in my soul. Even with enemies before now, I usually just felt hurt and went in a corner to lick my wounds. But this is different, I want karmic justice in front of the world. Broadcast on live tv, for everyone to see.
Bird, the thoughts of revenge are a primitive part of our brains, and actually “light up” the pleasure centers when we think about it. Primates like Chimps cooperate with each other because if they don’t the others in their group seek revenge on them. They don’t cooperate because of higher purposes of love etc, but out of fear of revenge. We have that part in us as well, and thinking about revenge is reverting back to that lower pre-human part I think. But, we are able to use our minds in ways the chimps cant, and we can overcome these baser desires, calm our angers, our thoughts of revenge, etc because these thoughts are more harmful to US than to the Ps themselves who really don’t CARE, even if they know our feelings. Dwelling on the negative parts, feasting on the chemicals released by wanting plotting etc revenge is harmfull to US. I work very hard at putting these feelings to rest, not covering them up, not hiding them, but dealing with them. It’s not easy and each new “trigger” that comes up from something may set me back a few paces and the anger comes back up. I work hard at controlling it, to keep it from making me bitter and miserable. I don’t want to become a bitter miserable old woman only focusing on the revenge against the Ps and others who have used or abused me. That’s not a good way to live I don’t think, at least not for me. I want peace and contentment, and anger, malice and wanting revenge undermines my peace and contentment.
I never saw my sociopath in a depressive state. She was always up, even when angry. I believe that since she had no conscience, she was not capable of being truely depressed, or at least she hid that very well. I think that if one has no conscience, they would not be truely sad, or remorseful….If things did not bother me and I did not care about others, I would also be prone to being “manic” most of the time.
OxDrover
[I applaud you for parenting your sons, and weep for you for the havoc and pain that your x has dealt out to your children. God bless you and then. I hope that you can get some counseling for both your boys’ wounds and that she will stay away from them. Good luck to you all.]
We all have been thru our pain because of decisions that we never got the opportunity to be a part of. This behavior of entitlement (their) confuses and anger’s me because each person involved albeit a child, young adult, parent and partner has a right to this. Sociopaths never allow us this right and then in the end never give us closure. It is all up to us. Both my children and I have at last pick up the pieces and now have a new life. What sane person would allow or let a ex PD to come back in (even for a short time) and try to again control what we have. OxDrover, we did therapy. We did our own personal soul searching. We all had to heal our own personal hearts. We have in fact came full circle and now OxDrover all we want is to be left along! Do you believe that any sociopath would allow that if given an opportunity to influence us. Do you? Does anyone on this blog for one minute think that if they don’t take some form of control over the lives of their children and themselves. Have a chance for any type of happiness. Please don’t allow a ex PD i.e. sociopath ever again to take your right for choice! No, give back what they so love to give us…. NOTHING!
James, I swear they seem to be like the bad pennies, they keep turning up. My P bio father left me alone til I was 16 and then swooped into my life at a time I was a teenager trying to find myself, then out again, then back, and it took me 10 years to get over the pain he caused when he held the “chit covered carrot” out to me to come work for him and have high adventure traveling all over the world, learning to fly planes, and taking photographs in the african bush. It was the most wonderful and the most horrible experiences of my life, and I had no way to deal with it.
It seems that they seem to return to their children like vultures, seeking to get “supply” from them in some way. I feel so sorry for the people like Dr. Amy who was forced by the courts to let her X see the kids–and then he killed them. My GOD! How can courts decree that kids have to be exposed to these people. Don’t kids have any rights!?
It just sounded to me like your son that tore up the card might still be harboring some bitter anger against his mother, and believe me I have a mother that is such a enabler that she might as well be a psychopath, and I didn’t really realize the damage she had done to me with her enabling of my psychopathic son and her psychopathic monster brother. Or how entrenched she is in this behavior. She is at a point in her life she has NO ONE there for her except a part time hired housekeeper that she does’t even like, my good sons don’t have much if anything to do with her, I am NC essentially with her, and my P-son is in prison and if she gets caught sending him money by my son C he told her he would move and leave no forwarding address–my Gd at the rate she is going she wont’ have anyone to bury her! As it is I am not sure that any of us would attend her funeral. Yet, she is so “pious” and “sweet” to people in the community they would vote her a saint! But my sons and I have see the UGLY face of entrenched enablilng that is willing to do ANYTHING no matter how horrible to keep the family bad-boy from having the consequences of his psychopathic behavior visited upon his head. When a psychopath finds a victim willing to fight to the death to defend them from their own behavior, to cover up for all failures, tey have a wonderful “relationship”–my mother WILLINGLY VOLUNTEERS to be the victim of not only my P-son but any other P that she can attract, and actively PERSECUTES the only relatives she has who would actually be there for her if she would let us. How DYSFUNCTIONAL is THAT! I know of at least 4 generations of this psychopathic enabling and there are very probably more behind her that played the same roles and games. I WILL STOP THIS GAME, I will not play it. I can’t play it. It is too painful to play.
When you start trusting your x wife to put your kids’ needs before her own, I will be able to start trusting my mother to love and care for me. I don’t think that will be any time soon, either. It is a shame, a shame that at 61 years old I still want a mother I can respect and that will love me, and I don’t have one, and your sons NEED a mother, and they don’t have one either. Maybe at least they can come to grips with it well before I did and not let that failure of someone else poison the well of their lives and future relationships. I’m glad they have you for a father, so many kids don’t even have one good parent. I was fortunate I had a great step father, so I at least had some good things from him and I will always be grateful to him. He was a wonderful man.
Dear Bird, I truly understand your desire for revenge and I dont think I have felt such deep anger, BUT, you dont want to take his karma off him, now do you? The one thing that stopped me doing ANYTHING was that I want him to reap every single ounce of his karma, I also do not want to bring trouble on myself. Its the pure injustice of what they do which is so galling. Despite my pleas to my ex not to treat me badly (I was crying all the time) there are times I think that the stress he put me under triggered my cancer. I have also developed arthritis. I have been determined to go No Contact, so he knows nothing of my health problems. Prior to meeting him, I was quite healthy.Tthere are some people here who have lost alot and I cant imagine what they are feeling. My ex had the ‘eye for an eye’ attitude. It is so hard when we dont get closure, there are alot of things I would have said to him, but I wrote him a letter, because he was a coward and ran away. The BIG MAN!!
Dear Bird. Dont forget that by exposing their behaviour here (anon. of course) you are exposing them to the world. Doesnt that give you some kind of satisfaction??!
I’m new on here, and this website has helped me so much, and i just feel like venting today…….today is such a hard day for me, one minute i feel like leaving him was the right choice, then the next minute i miss him and what i though we had, and i want to believe him so bad that he really loves me and wants to fix what he did wrong. it even seems like its the easy way out. I feel like i’m so numb to what he has caused me, ive just accepted it, and im still accepting it, like it was ok and i could just go back with him. its like im not angry that he cheated and lied for two years, i feel like its become so normal in my life, but at the same time i know in my head and heart thats its wrong, and i deserve better. i just need support b/c i feel like i dont have any, and im all alone. is this normal?
Dearest Blondie. Hi and Welcome to you. Dont worry, you have lots of support here – no need to feel alone. You sound like you are on the roller coaster. If someone truly loves you, they dont cheat on you and they dont lie to you – they respect you. Right? Your heart and head have been pulled about, so you cant think straight.
Relax, give yourself some breathing space until the turbulence dies down and then you will feel in a more balanced state to know what to do. It is very normal to feel very disorientated and in what OxyD calls the FOG. We want the illusory good part of them, what they promised us, the words of love, BUT their actions did not support what they said and that does not make for a good relationship. But you know that. You do deserve better and your inner knowing knows that.
Dysfunctional relationships after a while do feel a kind of normality, because we ‘bend’ ourselves out of shape to compromise our values in favour of the other person, and that is never good. You will have lots of support here Blondie – dont worry. (((hugs)))
blondie, you are not alone. Your comment (I miss what I thought I had) the man you miss didn’t exist, he was playing with your head to get whatever he could get. I have to re-read trait’s of a sociopath/physcopath, borderline personality almost daily, because like you I am lonely and there is this big empty space. If your convinced he has a evil personality disorder, do your self a favor and move on. I took my (P) back numerous times to stop the pain. It wont get better, you will just lose more and more of yourself. This is one of the tuffest life lesson’s I have ever endured. The pain of him being with me and decieving me, lieing, messing with my head and all the mental anguish of trying to hold it together is much worse than the pain of him being gone.