The Universe Wants You To Be With Your Psychopath – Is It True?

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

By Jade Joddle

For those of us who are spiritually awakening or who have a well-developed third eye chakra, the experience of falling in love is a catalyst for peak spiritual experiences. This means that when falling in love, incredible, magical experiences may occur between oneself and one’s lover. Since such experiences are so out of this world, a person experiencing the strange phenomena may then search for meaning in them and conclude that the universe has united them with their partner because their relationship is ”˜cosmically meant to be’.

Unfortunately, this kind of hopeful thinking, which is clouded by one’s spiritual beliefs, may also apply even when we have fallen in love with a disordered individual such as a psychopath or malignant narcissist who brings pain and misery into our lives. I know this because I have personally been trapped in that kind of thinking, and at one time, believed that if I tried hard enough, I could turn my magical relationship with a disordered individual into a happy-ever-after soulmate story.

I fell in love with my ex-partner hard and fast. The love bubble stage of our relationship in which I was walking on cloud nine couldn’t have lasted for more than a week, but regardless of it being so short, it was enough to get me hooked. During these gloriously happy days, the strange phenomena or ‘signs’ from the universe began to occur. These signs were my interpretation of the seemingly impossible coincidences (synchronicities) in our connection; in particular how chance meetings and timing played a role in our coming together.

Later in our relationship, even more incredible phenomena occurred. I experienced heart-to-heart telepathy in which feelings could be sent between us; a sensation of electrical energy flowing between the two of us even when we were continents apart; and once, an out-of-body experience that we shared together in a dream-like state.

While there was certainly a profound spiritual connection between us, our connection in the physical was a nightmare and led to me quickly losing my sense of self. I could do nothing right in his eyes; every day was filled with a new demand for me to change something about my personality or appearance. I remember feeling ashamed of the way I was being treated by him, for which reason I kept the relationship mostly secret from my friends and family. Everyday he remained in my life I grew weaker and weaker, and was willing to abandon more of myself in order to serve his impossible to meet demands even more desperately.

I was fully aware that my relationship was unhealthy but my better judgment often wavered due to by the magical happenings occurring between us. I couldn’t get my head around why these incredibly ”˜rare’ and therefore ”˜special’ spiritual phenomena were happening between us, unless it meant that we were soulmates. If he was my soulmate, as I believed he was, then I could make it work, given time. This misplaced hopefulness to be loved led me to attempt to reach and strive for the impossible: a reciprocal, loving relationship with a disordered individual.

After 7 months of my ex-partner coming in and out of my life and knocking me down more each time, I finally got the resolve I needed to leave for good. To make the decision stick, I had to go as far as moving countries (in order to stop me running back to him for another round of rejection, heartbreak and misery). It was a further 7 months until I was finally healed of my addiction to this disordered individual by taking a ”˜no contact’ approach.

On the other side of my healing journey, I reached a personal understanding of what the magical happenings between us as well as the ”˜signs’ from the universe mean for me. I consider my ex partner to be one of my karmic soulmates. A karmic soulmate is someone with whom you experience a challenging relationship in this life. Your relationship is meaningful on a soul level but this does not mean that the two of you will be together forever. You come into each other’s lives to learn strong life lessons. More often than not, you learn these lessons through emotional pain. The ”˜signs’ from the universe are merely pointing the way that the connection is important in your life; it doesn’t necessarily mean you will be together forever, which is why it’s important to move on if your love experience turns sour and begins to destroy your sense of self. Far too often, spiritually aware people find these kind of magical yet self-destructive relationships hard to let go of. They stay trapped in them for years, thinking that they can heal their partner by sticking it out.

Magical happenings and/or ”˜signs’ from the universe can occur more than once in a lifetime. The first time it happened to me was when I was with my disordered ex-partner; at this time I was convinced this kind of spiritual connection was so rare that I had to cling to the relationship and make it work no matter what. Now I know, however, that is not the case. If you trust life, heal and move on from a karmic relationship, you will ultimately fall in love again. Hopefully, when this happens you will be far enough along your healing journey to attract a reciprocal, healthy love relationship that endures beyond the love bubble stage. If not, expect more karmic relationships to come your way until your soul has woken up and learned its lessons. This, afterall, is the game of life.

Jade Joddle is the content maker at Do Personality Test. See her videos at

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11 Comments on "The Universe Wants You To Be With Your Psychopath – Is It True?"

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I was, before my toxic love experience, pretty inclined to spiritual mumbo-jumbo. Not a real spiritual understanding, but more a kind of fantasy thinking about my life, and who I could be. Certainly finding my one true, cosmic, love was central to my beliefs at that time.

I lived in a kind of second-stage thinking that I had no limits, could achieve anything I wanted, and was going to live in a kind of perpetual state of attainment. I say second stage because I think what lies beyond this kind of thinking is a a stage where we confront out limitations, and apply ourselves (commit) to particular people, work, and life experiences; foregoing other things. In other words we quit thinking the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. We actually start applying our abilities where they will count. We aren’t afraid of being ‘limited’ beings, and we don’t actively seek out validation before making any little decision for ourselves. We understand that directing our energies in one direction, means leaving other directions unexplored. And we are OK with that.

It is also said that trauma can help us to fully move from one stage of our lives to another. Enter: bad karmic connections.

I was a little late in coming into this more committed stage of my life, when BOOM!, here comes my toxic lover. What does he promise: a never-ending stream of attainment, no limitations, constant excitement, and perfect love. This completely derailed my personal growth. It felt like I was given permission to go ahead and ‘not grow up’. So, that was not very good for me. But, I was not only sucked back to the previous stage of being deluded enough to think that I could be peter pan for the rest of my life, an even more infantile stage was revisited: needing validation from others. Particularly him. Needing to mimic him, in order to garner his affection and validation.

During this whole experience I did have these rather spiritual feelings of connection with him. I believed we were soul mates, despite my terrible distress in ‘real life’. It was all so intense I could not imagine that it was not destined to be the great love affair of my life, catapulting me to a kind of personal ‘stardom’. But it was so painful, and it was never actually going ‘right’. He would take me to the stars, only to open the hatch and push me out without a space suit on.

As a result I went to see an energy worker (along with therapy, from another woman).

She told me that she ‘saw’ this individual as a ‘darkness’ in my energy. She believed we had been entangled for a LONG time. And after several weeks of treatment she said that the next time I ran into this individual (in the next life, as it were) he would do no more than ‘sell me a pack of cigarettes at a convenience store’. In other words, he would be nothing to me. He would have no influence, and our karma was ‘worked out’. That our energy work together had broken the karmic bonds.

What was interesting is that those words were meant for ‘later’, or in another lifetime. But, what also happened, is they became true in this lifetime. I, eventually, had really NO connection or feelings for this individual. I didn’t forget the experience, or even think that I could re-contact him without terrible repercussions. But I could, finally, let go of him. Completely.

I have no real idea if karma is real, or if we knew each other in past lifetimes. What I do know is that truly coming to terms with the here and now, and what the REAL costs on my life and my personal growth were when we were together, sealed it. And the energy worker’s beliefs on what was going on, of our past karmic connection, was super helpful in providing a kind of explanation for my confusion and cognitive dissonance over my ‘feelings’ vs. the ‘reality’ of what I was going through. And also, that it was OK to dump someone who I felt deeply connected with if they were abusing me.

Please Donna email me please I need your help as soon as [email protected]

Please it’s so important

Donna may not see this post. Please email her directly, see the instructions at the top of this page, in red, under “contact”> then “contact details”.

I hope you see this response. Donna is an amazing resource.

After the first taste of cosmic love awareness, here’s what happens. You suddenly realise that knowing someone for potentially hundreds of previous lives doesn’t make it special. It actually makes it boring. Time to step off that dramatic and abusive and not working out merry-go-round. Past lives is something that can or cannot ever be proven. It’s more of a knowing that just comes.

I really appreciate this post because the appearance of the spath in my life set me on an intense spiritual journey as well. I have always described myself as a spiritual, but not religious person. I believe in a power greater than myself, but prefer to let God reveal Himself in my life in His own way. So when all of the coincidences and synchronicities started and continued through the duration of my six year relationship with my spath, it added a layer of confusion on top of an experience that I would only learn through time, was even more confused than I could have ever realized. How many times I asked God simply, “why?” Or after one of the many times I would try to end the relationship and some uncanny chance encounter, or a bizarre sign would have me thinking, “oh no, it’s not really over yet”. Then more pain and misery would lead to the question, “well God, are you satisfied yet? Can I be done with this mission now?” I had developed a sense that I was not just spath’s tool, but God’s as well and somewhere in all of this was some kind of glorious payoff that would make all the misery worthwhile. The “happy ending” that somehow never arrived.

And maybe that’s where it was all leading – to me understanding that I am my own happy ending if I choose to make it. Nearly three years ago, after ending things with spath for the umpteenth time, I knew how weak I was, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away, so I joined a 12-step program for adult children of alcoholics. I knew that I had codependency issues but I’d never really worked to end them. So I continued to see spath, put up with all the same old stuff, and after about a year I had built up the healing and strength to end my relationship with spath again. Mere weeks later he was back and I faltered…again. So I added the Al-Anon program to my recovery plan, believing that even though there was no obvious evidence that I was dealing with an addict, I was educated enough, and had enough life experience dealing with addicted family members and in personal relationships, that because of my obvious enabling behaviors I knew that spath was hiding some addiction. I was in total codependent mode, and so focused on spath, that I felt like I was completely losing my mind as I wasn’t managing my own life properly. Even with two 12-step programs in place, still I couldn’t break my addiction to spath’s insane behavior and manipulation. But I kept learning and eventually it all led me to this site. Reading the other stories here, and how identical they often were to my own, I was finally able to embrace the reality of my own denial and take one more step to end the toxic relationship. I “ended” things back in January.

But, as usual, the “no contact” falters. There have been a couple of phone conversations lately and a couple of random texts. After six years of hoping that spath would magically turn normal and we would have a happy ending, it will surprise no one here that he turned around and started a new relationship within just a couple of months…apparently giving her all of the attention and consideration that I had longed for. But I remind myself that he never gives it all up to any woman, and whatever I see on the surface, I know what really lies beneath. So going back to the theme of this article, I will share a couple of my spiritual-related experiences. When I first met spath, things were so strange after just a few months, that I sought out opinions on an internet spiritual forum. I believe that people come into our lives for a reason, and I wanted to know why this man was in my life. Many strange coincidences were at play, I needed to understand what was going on. A woman on the forum was a third generation Tarot card reader and she offered me a reading. In a nutshell she said that this relationship was one where “you can’t live with him but you can’t live without him…it is as if you are the sickness and the cure to one another”. How true that has turned out to be as I struggle to learn how to correct my own toxic behaviors. And how true that she described him as part of the sickness as well. We are both toxic in our own ways.

I could write a small book on the bizarre occurrences between spath and I. And I really cannot say that they were the result of projections and manipulation, but external events that were completely unexpected and random. One of my favorites is a series of episodes that I define as “spiritual messages” that always involved hawks. I mean really strange and unlikely hawk appearances at critical/pivotal emotional times. For example, once I was sitting in a pool of tears asking God what to do about my relationship with spath and a hawk landed on a post right outside my window, barely two feet away and he just sat there looking at me. And I kept thinking that the “message” was to “rise above this negativity” just the way a hawk soars above in the clear skies, so far away that the details below become insignificant. Like God was telling me, “LLB, you can do this, it will get better, love and compassion will win the day”. This hawk “messaging” is so much a part of my experience with spath that when I found this site and discovered the reality that I was probably dealing with a mentally disordered mind, I suddenly saw a dual message in the hawk. Sure, on one hand the hawk is a magnificent and beautiful creature, gracefully soaring serenely through the skies, but what else is a hawk? When you strip away the romantic visions of this bird, you realize that it is really a frightening predator that exists only for the sake of finding its next meal. I always say, God has a sense of humor…even though I may not always find it funny at the time. He was trying to tell me, quite plainly in retrospect, that I was dealing with a predator.

So as insane as my spiritual beliefs might sound, I do still think that God has been in this and wants me to know, number one, that He is present in my life. My Faith is stronger than ever in my life because of this whole experience. But also to see the message that I don’t have to sacrifice my happiness to do God’s work. I don’t have to keep struggling to take the high road and deal with toxic people. I really could let go of my codependent thinking and know that God wants me to be happy, that it’s not on me to “fix” or help other people to the point that I sacrifice my own sanity or serenity. That I can just take spath, and any of the other toxic people in my life, and “give them up to God” and let Him sort them out. We all know it would take a miracle from God to cure a spath anyway.

Symbols embody all their meanings – light and dark. Hawk has both sides, as does your spath, as do I.

I agree with you – each person has their own toxicity. The spath or narc is just a different expression of toxic to the martyr or codependent. They are basically opposites of a coin; equally toxic. Codependency weakens people and makes them lose their personal power, or, puffs them up on air that they can’t sustain alone.

I now think the signs and magical are cool but I come before the struggle. These day I actually can’t be arsed to grow that much. Save that for the other lives.

This is a funny article. Funny, as in weird, because when I first met my ex, I thought we had a soul connection. I knew better than to say soulmates, but we were so well matched, or so I thought.

I am now divorced 3 yrs. And as much as I got better while separated, it wasn’t until he had NO power over me that I actually healed in leaps and bounds.

I do ascribe a type of soul healing. Perhaps it’s because I became aware of ME, and why I was attracted to him. It’s a sad reason, and it’s why it felt like a soul attraction, in the beginning, and became like a demon infection at the end.

When I was a little girl, my mother was the type of person who made her children fight and battle for her affections. It ensured that we never bonded with each other, and she must have needed that feeling that people would fight to gain her love and approval. But I did not “play the game”. And I remember the incident when I realized she would never let me win so there was no reason for me to try. Since then, and I was young, before kindergarden, I became the family scapegoat, the unlovable one. Well… I was the unlovable one before then because that was why my mom would not pick me for her favor and love and approval.

They say we are attracted to our parents. I knew my ex didn’t remind me of my dad. But it blew me away to realize he was like my mom and that I had indeed fallen into “playing the game” with him.

You see, HIS mom played the same game with him, pitting him against his brother… only my husband was her favorite, and his brother was the rejected one. Except, my husband was also rejected. You see, she couldn’t love. She could only demand that others fight to love her, a conditional love that was unattainable.

So my ex was conditioned to play the game and I was conditioned to know the game. In fact, when we had our first real date (he flirted a lot before we actually went out), I told him at the end of the evening that I was NOT the kind of person to date if he was the type who liked a line of people waiting for his attentions. He said he was not and so we dated. I had NO clue that in reality, I had “won” the game for a while. Not until he started having others compete, and people would be so jealous of me and I couldn’t figure out why they hated me so much when I hadn’t done anything. In the last, I saw my husband mask off and then he started trying to get me to play the favorites game. Only it made me so miserable that I wanted to die.

I wonder, if this is a sociopathic trait. To play this type of mindgame, where it’s a promise that if you get it just right… then he will love us. If my now Ex husband had me play the game when we first dated, I’d have dumped him. But after a few years of marriage, I was so confused and miserable, it wasn’t until we divorced that I realized he did to me what his mom did to him. It’s what BOTH our moms did to others, esp sadly, to innocent vulnerable children. But… they are unable to love, even as they claim that LOVE is the reward.

NOBODY who plays such a game is capable of LOVE. Such a game means they have no empathy, no compassion, no feelings of loyalty or connection or tenderness or appreciation or gratitude. Only vindictive anger that their victim didn’t do enough and that is what they say is the reason that they were unable to LOVE us.

It was Never that we were unloveable. It was them, all along.

There was a very intense spiritual dimension to my experience with my sociopathic ex-husband, which I talk about in detail in my first book – “Love Fraud – How Marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.”

I, too, prayed for guidance time and time again. I received it and acted on it. Still, things did not go the way I thought they should go. The reason: The Universe/God/love had its own plan – the entire experience was meant to be an important spiritual lesson.

From a human perspective, the plan is messy and painful. But I found out that it worked.

debbie3967, HUGE HUGS TO YOU!!

I have heard some horrific tales of sociopaths on this site and others as well as endured them myself from my ex h but I can tell you that I have never heard such horrific abuse as I read in your post.

It is time to end this abusive relationship and cut this man who is the devil himself out of your life for ever.

I was married to a sociopath for 12 years and it was hell, the divorce was the bottom of hell. The mind games my ex played on me pushed me too over my emotional edge which happens to most if not all victims. I want you to know you are NOT crazy, you are not the problem in this relationship”YOUR HUSBAND IS CRAZY & HE IS THE PROBLEM.

There is nothing you can do to change him NOTHING”he is showing you EXACTLY who he is PURE PURE EVIL!!!

For 12 years the mental games my ex h did to me was mind blowing and while he broke me down daily he was out cheating on me and conning others out of money or what ever they had that he wanted. Like you I tried to work on my marriage”after all that is what we are taught”that marriage is hard work”.Let me tell you something a “marriage” with a sociopath is not a marriage it is a dictator telling you how to act, feel, behave”it is a dictator not allowing you to be free”this is NOT a marriage this is abusive, this is evil.

When I finally escaped literally I was a shell of the person I once was”gone for the happy person I was, always smiling & always joyful. I was a walking step ford wife, robot, zombie, just trying to function someone on a daily bases not to upset my h. This is not a life to live”this is NOT what GOD wants for you”God wants you to be full of happiness and love.

It’s time for an EXIT PLAN out of this relationship for good”yes you have left him”but you are not out yet because he still has control of your mind. He IS a cult leader and you are his cult follower”this is how you must view him from now on. He like all sociopaths has been brain washing you, mind controlling you, using trance & hypnosis on you, plus reward & punishment techniques and gas lighting abuse mind games etc

Just like a cult follower in a cult you need to break your mind free from his control. I would highly recommend that you contact Steven Hassan of the Freedom of Mind resource Center (his site is under the Freedom of Mind Resource Center). He himself was inducted into at cult in college and with the help of his parents & former cult members they broke his mind free. He returned to college to obtain his masters in counseling and has specialized in Domestic abuse victims & cult victims. He has been on CNN, Larry King Live, 60 minutes, Fox news, The John Walsh show etc. He will be able to break the mind control that your ex has over you now so that you can start your healing process. Steven Hassan’s office is outside of Boston, Ma but he works with people all over the world via phone & he also has counselors around the world that can help you. He charges a normal counseling fee see his site Freedom of Mind Resource Center.Com.

I want you to know




I will post things that helped me below this post for you to read.


Debbie, (part 2 of my post to you) I know what it is like to leave but still want to work on the marriage and still want to be with my abuser”they condition their victims to stay..they are masters at manipulating people to accept their abuse. I literally needed someone to come into my home and carry me out of my marriage”that never happened because my ex h isolated me from family & friends so they had no idea what was going on plus my family and long time friends lived in other states so they did not see what I looked like (pure exhausted) and how I was behaving on a daily bases.

Here are things that I found along my healing journey that I will post for you know. When I left I needed someone to guide me but there was no one, so know I post everything for others and you can decide what will help you along your healing journey.

The most important thing to remember is YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANYMORE!! So reach out for help”and if someone can not understand what you have been through then find someone that can understand.

1) For Court Divorce matters see Onemomsbattle. com, the site creators two books and their Facebook page One moms battle. Open a fake email account then a fake Facebook page so that you can talk freely, ask questions, vent on their Facebook page. This page is a wonderful support site and will help guide you though your divorce. I believe Tina also has a service that you can talk with her on the phone (not sure check the site).

2) Finding a Lawyer that understands domestic abuse. You will find that lots of lawyers are narcissist & sociopaths too”so beware!! On One moms battle there is a list of lawyers that “get” sociopathic abuse”if you do not find a lawyer in your state listed then ask if someone recommends one in your town.

3) Most states you can ask for Lawyer fees & temporary alimony in court motions..SO do this!!!

4) You can also file your own divorce papers with the clark. If you go to the court house that deals with divorce ask for the paper work or you can downloaded on line. This will save you money by doing it yourself then you can get a lawyer after. BUT PLEASE be very specific how you file the reason. Some states actually have a box for “Domestic abuse” (might be under a different term” . Think about finding this way!! It is much better to get a knowledgeable lawyer in domestic abuse to help you. Keep in mind that lawyers will put on their website that they “understand domestic abuse” but they really don’t” So interview lawyers first prior to hiring them.

5) There are countless books on “Financial Divorce” at your local big box book store in the “Divorce Section’ also check with your state & clerks office.

for instance if you were married for 13 years (I think this is the amount of years) you are entitled to his social security portion if you do not remarry. See the Social security website for more info.

5) Your health”most victims leaving their health from all the stress is not good. So take the time to get a full physical and find a good hormonal specialist or endocrinologist to test you for hormonal imbalance, vitamin/mineral deficiency & cortisol levels (all issues with stress/PTSD/domestic abuse)

6) one of the biggest issues with PSTD according to Adrenal fatigue expert Dr Wilson is adrenal fatigue. Our adrenal glands regulate our blood pressure, blood sugar, cortisol levels, adrenaline levels and over 50 hormones including all of the female hormones. With continual stress such as a toxic relationship the adrenal glands work over time and end the end they become fatigues”as a result it wreaks havoc on our body and mind.

see sites:

Adrenalfatiue. org (see symptoms list, read, see test info)

Drlam. com (see symptoms list, read)

Mialundin. com (READ her book, see her you tube videos on sleep issues)

Once you get your heath back in order you will mind that you will be calmer, not anxiety or depression, no brain fog, racing mind etc. all issues with adrenal fatigue.

7) Start an EXIT PLAN out of this relationship with the help of your Local abuse center. They have free counseling & women group meetings that will help you to know that you are not alone but also a great support site if your ex comes back down the road

You can contact your countries National Domestic Abuse Hotline to get help with an exit plan & for local abuse center numbers. In the USA it’s 800-799-SAFE

8) GET A RESTRAINING ORDER ASAP ON THIS EVIL MAN with help from your local abuse center. This will help you in divorce court & will keep you protect. DO NOT worry about the impact on your ex”.PROTECT YOURSELF!!!

9) Follow the NO CONTACT RULE asap!!

Go up to the top of this site and do a search in the box for “No Contact rule”

google: Sociopath no contact rule, Narcissist no contact rule, no contact rule to learn more.

Change you phone number, get a po box, protect your social media and change your email”cut him out form contact you.

10) In court papers ask the court for a court ordered mental evaluation on your ex. Omens battle Facebook page can help guide you on this. This will help you throughout the divorce process. Put in court papers (not the first motion filing but after your ex response) that he is a sociopath/psychopath with narcissist personality disorder. DOCUMENT EVERY DOMESTIC ABUSE THING HE DID TO YOU IN DIVORCE PAPERS”this is where a knowledgable lawyer can help. Your divorce motions will protect you in the future so DOCUMENT EVERYTHING HERE.

11) Have your most trusted family & friends come to love fraud and read everything so that they fully understand the hell you have been through so that they can help you fully.

12) Educate yourself on your ex sociopathic behavior by reading everything that Lovefraud has listed at the top under the red/gray tab and be sure to watch the videos at the top also under the “video tab”.

Donna Anderson (LF site creator) has done a wonderful job with this site”it is a library of info. She also has a service that you can call her for guidance. She charges a min fee see the top under “contact” for more info. This will help you too if you decide to reach out for her help.

13) Books to read:

Donna Andersons’ books Lovefraud see red tab at top “Bookstore” for her books and others she recmmends

Other books:

Women who love psychopaths by Sandra Brown

Freedom of mind by Steven Hassan

The sociopath next door by Harvard Professor Dr Martha Sout (this one is free on you tube for you to listen to the audio version)

Check your local library to see what books they have on domestic abuse, sociopath, narcissist abuse etc.

14)Print everyones post here that has posted to you because they get lost in the mix with everyone posting.

Your healing journey is your healing journey”so find your way by asking question here and venting here too.

Wishing you all the best”Take care 🙂

IMHO, if anyone even mentions the word “soulmate”, run like hell!

That term reeks of co-dependency, liquid boundaries, narcissistic “blending”. Hate to be a spoilsport but you are born alone and you will die alone. You are 100% responsible for yourself and your actions, whether you believe in the Final Judgment, Law of Karma, or are an atheist and materialist. No one lives your life for you.

“Soulmate” sounds like the love bombing stage. If they are a full blown spath, that is their way of hooking your lonely self in.

If they are more along the narcissist way, they might just believe you are perfect, for now, but what goes up must come down. They tend to crash badly and as much as they were infatuated with you will be how deep their later contempt for you will be.

Past lives? I believe we’re all as old as the universe and have had countless lives with every single other being, including microbes and bugs. Just my belief, but no one is any more special than anyone else.

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