My last post seems to have prompted lots of comments — and I’m glad, thank you. Corporate sociopathy is a major subject and one that I intend to continue exploring in my professional career. I shall let you know how I progress!
In the meantime, this week I am encouraged to write about something else. Well, on the surface it may appear to be a different subject”¦ then again, it’s to do with choice and action. It’s also to do with responsibility — making a stand, whatever that may mean.
I’ve titled this post “Thinking Like A Jedi” because I’d like to share with you something I call The Starwars Theory. Most people I talk to about this have at some point come across the film — even if they haven’t watched it, they’ll certainly have heard about it and usually have some knowledge of the characters. Any exceptions to the rule quickly seem to get the point in any case, so I thought it would be safe to talk about it here!
Yoda says”¦
There is a particular scene that centres around Yoda and Luke Skywalker. Yoda is a master Jedi, and he is intent on passing on his skills to the young Luke. In the swamp, Yoda teaches his student how to move rocks and stones with the power of his mind. Luke struggles as first but then manages to do it. Yoda tells him to use the same powers to free his spacecraft, which had crashed and sunk in to the swamp.
“Moving stones around is one thing, master, but moving a spaceship? That’s something completely different!” he protests.
“It is only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned” replies Yoda.
“Alright” says Luke “I’ll give it a try!”
“No!” Yoda instructs “No try! Do or do not, there is no try!”
Skywalker gives it his best shot, but despite his efforts there is no sign of the spaceship. Yoda then takes over, using “the force” exactly as he had asked Luke. The spaceship rises up out of the swamp. Luke, clearly surprised by the result turns to Yoda
“I don’t believe it!” he exclaims, prompting Yoda’s famous response
“That is why you fail”
For anybody who is interested, you there are plenty of Yoda scenes and sayings posted on Youtube.
Fluffy Focus
So what does all this mean? I know it’s only a film, but for me, that way of thinking has always been hugely important — and has become even more valuable over the past couple of years let me assure you! In my opinion, the point is that there is absolutely no basis in ”˜trying’ to do anything at all. It’s very easy to say “I’ll try” to anything at all — but, in my opinion, it means nothing whatsoever. It’s about making a decision and a commitment — to yourself and/or to another person. The ”˜try’ word is usually just that — a word. It negates the necessity for action. It’s a fluffy word that results in fluffy focus and fluffy results. A non-word, a non-decision, a non-commitment — heck, surely it becomes non-existent”¦ doesn’t it?
I was fascinated to overhear a typically fluffy exchange between two people as I was waiting at a train station. I gathered that this pair were teachers, and they had been talking about organising a new project within the school. They’d clearly made some degree of progress, and they agreed they’d talk more about it tomorrow”¦ or did they? This was how the conversation went:
“Thanks, I’ll try to give you a call tomorrow and we can discuss more options”
“Great, yes, ok, I’ll try to make sure I’m around, and if I don’t hear from you I’ll try to give you a call”
“Okay then, let’s try to get together tomorrow. I’ll hope to see you then!”
They parted with a smile and a wave — but were they really going to achieve what they said they wanted to do? I don’t know, but I’d be willing to take a guess. I do know that I couldn’t help giggling to myself at yet another example of the vague promises and commitments that people give to each other on a daily basis — no wonder so many of us wander around lacking direction and inspiration!
For me, this life is all about recognising and using our own power — for ourselves and also for the good of others. The first job is to become happy with who and what we are”¦ then, and only then, can we really offer support or guidance to others. In any case, that’s my opinion and experience — and I can promise you it’s a lesson I’m constantly revising and developing! One class didn’t seem to do the job for me — neither did the homework or experiential workshop sessions. Nope, as I’ve said before, until relatively recently, I was perfectly happy to carry on giving and supporting others without a second thought about myself. Doh!
That way of being has changed for me — and is continuing to develop on a daily basis. It started with awareness, and continues to be built through intention and commitment to follow through.
Mind Over Matter
I believe that everything starts with an idea, or a thought if you like, which is then followed up by a decision. Talk can indeed be cheap, and ”˜trying’ to do or be something is one thing — but doing or not doing is something completely different. It’s a commitment. My friend Judi made me chuckle last night. We were talking about weight loss (she has lost a staggering amount of weight since the beginning of this year) because of a comment made by somebody who hadn’t seen her in many months.
“You look amazing!” this lady had exclaimed on seeing Judi walking towards her “How on earth did you do it?”
“A personal decision and direct help from a nutritionalist” smiled Judi “and lots of positive thinking. It’s all mind over matter you know!”
“Yes, I’ve been thinking about losing weight, but it’s so hard” replied the other lady “I tried for a while last year and lost 4kg (about 10lbs) but it’s all gone back on again. Oh well, maybe one day eh?”
Is it really any wonder that this particular lady had not made any real progress? I think not! She’d “tried for a while” which is fluffy enough by itself, but add to that an underlying belief that it is difficult to lose weight”¦ well, it was never going to happen was it?
This kind of ”˜non-action’ I believe is part of the problem in the world we live in today. I don’t actually believe it’s deliberate — at least, not for the vast majority. The thing is, though, we’ve become brainwashed in to forgetting that we have power. It’s become normal to say “I’ll try” and to expect to fail “I told you so” “What’s the point?” “It’s useless trying” And it’s this kind of apathy that subconsciously invites manipulation and control. Think about the corporates — if the staff believe there’s nothing they can do, well, guess what? They’re right. On the other hand, when they start to wake up and realise that they can do more than they were thinking — just by changing their thoughts in the first place”¦ well, then that’s when we start to get results. And that is very much along the lines I use when working with teams and individuals. It’s about reclaiming the power that is already within us, and then deciding what to do with it.
Pick Up That Lightsaber!
It’s like the many inspirational people who have overcome all manner of challenges and hardships to make something of themselves. I absolutely love real-life stories like these. They encourage the positive “me too” type of thinking that I adore. One of my friends is best-selling author Eileen Munro (“As I Lay Me Down To Sleep” and “If I Should Die Before I Wake”) Now there is a lady who has used Jedi thinking to get her through an incredibly tough and relentless set of challenges! Whenever I start to think I might be having a tough time, all I have to do is dip back in to her book and it puts everything in to perspective. Eileen, you see, refuses to give up or give in — and her relentless positive movement forward is an inspiration.
So far as I’m concerned, no matter our particular circumstances we all have the power to think like a Jedi”¦. There is no try, there is only do or do not. It’s a clear matter of choice. Once that choice is made, then you can pick up your lightsaber and prepare to make things happen. People tend to laugh when I point out that if you take the word JEDI and you imagine that the bottom line of the “E” could, with a little bit of imagination, represent a lightsaber (well, okay, a lot of imagination!) you could imagine picking it up ready for action. Having picked it up, the word JEDI changes to one of my favourite acronyms — JFDI which, as many will already know stands for Just Flippin Do It!! (There are other F-word options, of course, depending on your preference)
In conclusion, I am calling out for more of us to think like a JEDI. Forget ”˜try’ and instead think only in terms of do or do not. And in doing so, remember to believe that a positive result is the outcome — because that’s what is going to make the difference.
So, come on, let’s get clear in our intentions, make a commitment, pick up our proverbial Lightsabre and do it.
Mel, Great point!!!! I had a therapist tell me years ago the exact same thing, “there is no trying, there is only doing.” I wish I had caught on and internalized that concept sooner. Thanks again for reminding me that there IS NO TRY, ONLY DO. It never ever hurts to be reminded of the good things we can DO for ourselves….no matter how we “try” to keep “doing” sometimes we “forget.”
Your articles have all been uplifting and to the point, this is another example of a GREAT ARTICLE. Thanks for coming to LoveFraud and sharing your hard won wisdom…I either learn something new here or am reminded of something I already “know” but maybe don’t practice the way I should. Your contributions are wonderful!!! (((hugs)))
LOL, Mel…
I always told myself I would try to build routines and structure in my life, but never got anywhere for longer than a month. And the structure building took so much attention that I managed even less in doing what needed to be done for work, or finances, etc… My spath made it worse, but there was not much structure to destroy to begin with.
Last week I started to FLY again (FLYlady, and her background story will sound familiar). ANd for the first time I had realized the truth about FLY… Finally Loving Yourself by doing simple life routines, in babysteps, each day again. Guess what the message was this morning in my mailbox from her: today is not a day to procrastinate… today is a DO day. And what a DO day it was.
Two weeks ago, I decided to work away the backlog of right papers and stamps for my unemployment money. I made it firstmost priority. Couldn’t go to my classes, couldn’t much applicate for jobs well either while standing in line for hours every day. However, today I finally got my money, and was able to finally pay 2 overdue bills, as well pay the other bills on time. More, I have the necessary stamps for the next 3 months if I don’t find an extra teaching position, besides the 2 hour/ week I still have.
I had filed for my exemptions for my studies 3 weeks ago. I had gotten around to applying for each course, but found no answer yet of the student counselor. My previous self would have waited around. But yesterday afternoon I called and got the busy tone. And it was the first call I made this afternoon. Found out that I had to first go ask with each professor personally and get their signature. Thought, ok I’ll visit each of them tomorrow and afternoon.
But I also had the courage again to open vacant positions and instead of thinking, I’ll try to reach them and then maybe will send them a mail later… I started to call around. With the new attitude caused by all the epiphanies of last week, I actually was hired for a full time interim position halfway the phone call, even before I myself had said yes. We made an appointment immediately. And because I’ve been dressing myself to my shoes in a way that I would if I were to go out (so no jeans and t-shirt), fix my hair and put on make up every morning, I only needed to print my cv, put on my boots, get in the car and go there. No STRESS! When I looked at the schedule at the principal’s office I noticed that 2 hours were not in agreement with my lab hours on university, and I told him. Without me needing to ask, he offered me a deal… If I would do 2 hours of study on another afternoon, he wouldn’t mind at all. Also told him that I wasn’t so sure whether I was the best candidate for chemistry. But he waved that away. I start tomorrow in practice, at least until the end of the month. But he’ll start the contract from last Monday. And as he overlooked my resume (cv), after he had already told me he wanted to hire me, he noticed which schools I had worked before (one where his daughter went), noticed my tourleading company (he knows someone who works for it as a volunteer as well), etc…
It makes my gathering of signatures of the professors a bit more difficult. I would have putit off until tomorrow and try to find some way. But not today. Instead I knew the best way was to mail them all, with an explanataion of the urgency as well as my practical circumstances. And I did so AS SOON AS I CAME HOME tonight. I even already had a reply and set up a meeting with one of the professors for tomorrow.
After this post I will make all the necessary prints, go dig in my file cabinet for my old courses and carry everything to the car, so that I will not forget anything tomorrow morning, when I drive directly from work to university.
During this busy day I also managed to visit with the teacher I’m replacing, got the basics down, have his tasks for tomorrow and Friday, so I won’t even have to prepare much for the first two days.
Ad another uplifting DO moment… I went to take a look at the apartment my parents took an option on for me. And it’s just perfect. Well it’ll need some new paint coat, new tiles in the bathroom and a shower wall, new doorknobs… So, just the expected minimum. Other than that it’s in a perfect state. Maybe by next week, we may have signed a buyer’s contract.
I had such a great day. I just did the things that needed to be done the past weeks. I did things today, not wondering about succes… just “it needs to be done” and made it a priority, one after the other. Yup, if you DO, and don’t think about it, like a JEDI it can go like a breeze, without a moment of stress.
Happy sigh!
Darwinsmom: Way to go!! Three cheers for action!
Darwin’smom,
GREAT!!!! TOWANDA!!!!! That is absolutely fabulous !!!!!! Congratulations! I just luvvvvvv hearing success stories on LF!
Darwinsmom: You are beyond inspiring!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shalom
Darwinsmom
Hip Hip Hip Horray! Your story made my day.
superkid
Shalom
I got the picture’s of Henry, he is adorable, he look’s just like me 🙂
Hens, he does NOT LOOK LIKE YOU—-HE IS 3 X AS GOOD LOOKING! I iwill admit though that his ears are longer than yours!@....... LOL
Well, our new little doggy now has a name….she is “A-dora-belle” –even though actually she is as homely as a mud fence! She makes up for it in sweet! Actually I think she is the spiritual reincarnation of our wonderful Border Collie bitch, Bell. Bell was D’s dog, and Adorabelle is HIS dog for sure, but she is quiet and sweet, and has perfect manners, and totally laid back and polite.
Bud and the cat, Dot, still have their noses out of joint about the new addition, but I think she is growing on them.
Had cow round up today and vaccinations! Always fun! (NOT!!) got the new calf up and learned that his mom must have had an infection and she is not producing any milk….hasn’t apparently for some time. “Chuck Roast” is going to live with my friend Jerry who trains steers to work (oxen) so he is unhappy right now in the cattle trailer, but he is going to a place he will live a wonderful life and most likely die of old age instead of becoming ROAST! He’s a spunky little dude with eye lashes 3 inches long, and a bright red coat of long wavy hair and cute little horns about an inch long.
His older sister though ticked me off, so she is going to that great barn in the sky as soon as the weather gets colder! About time to fill the freezer again anyway, I needed a “volunteer” and she was IT!!!!
Speaking of vaccinations guys—GET YOUR FLU SHOTS FOLKS, THE SEASON IS UPON US!!!! The Arkansas Health Department has made flu shots MANDATORY this year for all employees unless there is a verifiable MEDICAL REASON (like lupus or something like that) if they can’t take the vaccine, they must wear a mask. Good idea! Flu kills thousands of folks a year! Don’t forget to take care of YOURSELF!!!!
Hens
Do you love your tummy rubs too? My doggie is so soft, it is such a pleasure to stroke her ears and jaw. She closes her eyes and grunts.
katy uhmmm I aint had my tummy rubbed in like forever but I will roll over ifn ya want to rub it..
My Harley loved his tummy rubbed – he would roll over and exspose his junk to a stranger just to get a belly rub ..what kind of doggie do u have katy?
Dear Nurse Ox Rachette got my flu shot last week – do I get a bozo button?