My memory of the murders (Lost Memories of a Sociopathic Killer) my father committed came back to me on a Thursday. On Saturday morning I called information for retired homicide detective Dan Nazerchuk’s home phone number. He was the lead investigator that helped convict my father of murder 17 years earlier.
I was nervous about it but knew it was the right thing to do. My biggest fear was that news of this might get out and affect my family and career. I’m married with a beautiful daughter and heavily involved with the community and her school. I also own a small business and most people & associates around me knew nothing of my father.
It is hard to explain the mixed emotions that I was having about this. I knew I was doing the right thing, but also felt that I was somehow betraying my father. It doesn’t make any sense to feel that you are betraying someone that committed several murders, abused you as a child and destroyed countless lives, but it is something I had to deal with. I prayed about this and found the courage that I needed. I simply took it one step, one day at a time.
Well, Nazurchuk set an appointment for December 1, 2004 with cold case detectives. That’s an important date because it turned out to be exactly 17 years to the day from the date they found the bodies (on December 1, 1987). I would not learn this until later. In another twist of fate that is far from coincidence, someone from Washington DC had contacted cold case detectives about two missing relatives from their family”¦the week that I called Dan Nazerchuk. Until that week they had not identified the bodies of these two young men. They tagged them as Amos & Andy. Now, in a matter of several days they have the possible names (for the first time) and I am about to walk into their office and give them the name of the killer. They had pulled out the case file for the first time in 17 years just before I called as a result of the lead from a family member of one of the victims.
On December 1st I met Dan Nazerchuk at the Police Headquarters building. We hugged and spoke briefly. He was surprised and happy to hear that I had a family of my own. He then took me upstairs and introduced me to cold case detectives Ray Allen and Duwana Pelton. They had the case file on the desk in a conference room with a tape recorder. They were pleasant, but it was obvious that they were skeptical. I am sure that they were looking at me as a possible suspect with what I was about to tell them.
Once the formality of our greeting was over Nazerchuk left and they asked me to tell my story. I did. When I was finished, you could see the disbelief in their faces. I could tell they now trusted me and believed my story. I asked them if it described the case that was sitting on the table, and they simply said “to a T. You just described a murder scene in perfect detail”, said Corporal Pelton. She then told me with complete fascination the fact that they had been given a name for the two suspects just a few days before I called. They said, “If true, we have never had anything like this happen in twenty years of working cases like this.”
I was about to make it more interesting for them. In hopes of getting my father to confess to another murder (number 4) that he committed we would drive to Death Row together to record a conversation with my father. But first, I had to come up with a plan to get my father to talk. Now, the tables were turned. It was my turn to con him and give him that familiar “can’t rationalize this feeling” experience that he had given me so freely while he was murdering people.
I had learned to act natural around my father under extreme pressure and now this experience was about to be put to the test. I was headed to Death Row with a couple of homicide detectives that would set up in a hidden room while I met my father with a surprise visit and a wire. That’s not all I had, though. This time I put my Faith in God. I did not have that feeling of panic and anxiety. I entered the room calm and at peace. He was happy to see me.
Oh come on! That is one heck of a cliff hanger. Until next week:)
Travis
Sounds just like Silence of The Lambs ! Interview with Hanibal Lector! Whats for Dinner? You
Guts or what?? How much inner strength did it take to expose your own father to the police. I think we’d all love to think we would do this, but could we, when it actually comes down to it. I don’t know!!
Uhm..I’d really like to know what happened next. When is the next part being posted??
I can only imagine the mixed feelings you felt turning your father in. I felt guilt turning in the psychopath that I dated for 2-1/2 months to the army. So what happened???
I didn’t mean to make this a cliffhanger it’s just how I wrote it a couple of years ago.
I went to death row and lead my father to believe I could help him get out, but wanted some answers so I could feel safe. We were together for about 2 hours, but I literally put my faith in God and let the conversation unfold naturally. I reminded him of when he told about killing the two guys and he thanked me for not mentioning it to him or anyone else for 17 years, then proceeded to tell the story again in detail.
Now the detectives had it in his own words and soon after charged him with the murders. It would drag on for two years but he finally pleaded guilty. He did turn on me, of course, and I got to see first hand how a sociopath reacts when betrayed. It was not easy to handle at first, but now I know it’s the best thing that could have ever happened. I needed to see that side of my father directed at me to really accept the truth, that he could not love.
I am grateful for the experience today, have forgiven my father and still pray for him without any expectation. All this was very freeing. I simply trusted God, that’s it. Not easy, but it works when I practice it.
Dear Travis: Did you get to know your Dad’s parents? If so, what were they like? Did your Dad have siblings? If so, what order was your Dad in the sibling birth order?
If you prefer not answering this questions, I certainly understand and respect your privacy.
I have a theory going on in my own thoughts about the sibling rivalry as children starting the process of the innocence of the child going from the humble stage to the ego stage (living and believing in their own ego, not allowing them to listen to wisdom).
Peace.
It has been my experience that once I knew that the person I was dealing with was a sociopath, the only way to deal with them after IS to con them. IS to lie to them. IS to treat them like they treat you and others. It is the only was to protect yourself and the people around you from them.
It is only logical. After realizing that the person is a sociopath, is it really in my best interest to be open with them and tell the how I feel? Absolutely not. The more he knows about me and my inner core, the easier it is for him to manipulate me and use that information against me to eventually hurt me.
It’s best to manipulate them and keep them off track as to anything you are doing or feeling. It protects everyone!
Travis, you did the right thing, and I would do it against my own son if I had to. OxDrover had to fight to keep her son in jail when he was up for parole. I am sure it is not easy. But doing the right thing, especially when it is not easy, is what separates us from them.
<p>I think I agree with the comment about what you show a sociopath about yourself once you know what you are dealing with. The obvious way to deal with them as we all know is not to if at all possible. </p>
<p>As for my family, my grandparents were wonderful, although my grandfather passed away when I was very young. He was very successful and well respected. My father used this to his advantage early on as a con man getting close to politicians and business leaders as a result of my grandfathers success. My father was the second oldest of four boys.</p>
Travis: That makes sense if he was the second oldest of 4 boys.
I assumed that his parents were decent folks and that your father played them all since he was a child. I believe that they start living in their egos from a very early age (due to jealousy of other siblings taking the parents attention away from them, aka sibling rivalry) … and go on to bigger and better cons after they lied through their teeth at home, usually playing the younger siblings how he could and smiling to his parents face, pretending that he was a good kid, it was the younger siblings faults. As for his older brother, I’m sure your father backed off on the older sibling and probably was the most decent to him, for he needed the oldest siblings respect and confidence to back him up when he sabotaged and would undermined his younger siblings to keep them in their place. Because they always have some ridiculous place they think they have to put people, especially the younger siblings who they are extremely jealous of.
My Ex is the 2nd oldest. His oldest sibling is his sister who adores him. I don’t know what his younger brother right after him in the birth order feels about him … he lives in another state and is extremely successful. My Exs younger brother (who is my age) hates his brother. I suspect he got most of my EX wrath as a child.
Peace.