Every Sunday my local newspaper, the Press of Atlantic City, prints the names of servicemen and women who died the previous week in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every Sunday, I make myself read the names. It’s the least I can do to honor their sacrifice. Today, Veterans Day, the newspaper printed a story about a local young man, a private, killed in Baghdad six months ago. I’m afraid I couldn’t read the story—it was too upsetting.
Veterans Day was always important to my ex-husband, James Montgomery. He wanted to show his patriotism and commemorate the comrades he lost in Vietnam as a member of the Australian military. In fact, when we met, 25 years after Vietnam, Montgomery claimed he was still affiliated with Special Forces. Military service was an important part of his persona.
This is an important part my upcoming book, Cracked Open, about life with a sociopath. An excerpt follows.
Veterans Day, 1996
In November 1996, James was invited to speak to schoolchildren about the importance of Veterans Day. A few days before the holiday, he went to a sixth-grade classroom in nearby Somers Point, New Jersey. With him were Joe Nickles, who had been an Army drill sergeant, and Bill Ross, who was a local mayor and had served in World War II. The three men sat on kid-sized chairs in the front of the room, talking about life in the military and answering questions from students. A teacher in the back of the classroom operated a video camera, transmitting the presentation to the rest of the school via closed circuit TV.
Each of the men spoke of their experiences in a way the children could understand. They talked about the training and the commitment. They explained what kept them going under fire—concern for their buddies.
A boy asked James a question: “Did you lose any friends in Vietnam?”
James answered slowly. “Yes,” he said, stretching out the word, “and I felt very sad when it happened. That’s why Veterans Day is so important. It’s a time to remember all those served their country, especially those who gave their lives.”
Standing in the back of the room, I was proud of everything James did to protect the rest of us.
When Veterans Day actually arrived on Monday, November 11, 1996, James planned to attend a ceremony in Mays Landing, New Jersey. The previous year, James was the keynote speaker. The Press of Atlantic City reported that he “recounted service-to-the-nation stories about comedienne Martha Raye and retired Major Dick Meadows, who led the raid on Son Tay to rescue POWs.” The local Mays Landing Record Journal ran a photo of him wearing his Special Forces beret and camouflage jacket in the rain.
I was supposed to meet him at the ceremony. But as I was ready to leave, I discovered that James had taken his car keys—and mine as well. After a moment of dismay, I was relieved—work deadlines were looming, and I really didn’t have time to drive out to Mays Landing, stand at a ceremony, and drive back. But my efficient and logical thinking didn’t go over well with my husband.
“Why didn’t you turn up?” he demanded when he arrived home.
“I was going to,” I said. “You took my car keys.”
“You could have come if you wanted to. You could have called a taxi,” he retorted, without acknowledging his own mistake.
I was astounded. “Are you kidding? That would cost a fortune!” I said. “And I’ve got a lot of work. I was better off staying home and getting it done.”
“It appears that what is important to your husband is not important to you,” he said. “Gale understood how important this is. She used to iron my uniforms.”
James stomped downstairs to his office, and I was left to wonder about being compared to my husband’s deceased wife. I felt guilty—temporarily—and then I went back to work.
Never in the military
What I know now, that I did not know in 1996, was that James Montgomery, my ex-husband, was never in the military.
From what I can tell, Montgomery had been including military service in his biographical profiles and resumes since at least 1980. He sent me a copy of the “mention in dispatches” report that recounted his heroism in Vietnam, for which he was awarded the Victoria Cross, Australia’s highest military honor. While we were married, Montgomery was active in the local chapter of the Vietnam Veterans of America. In gratitude for his contributions, the VVA gave Montgomery a plaque, which he hung on the wall.
After I left Montgomery, I began to suspect it was all a lie. I got my proof in 2005, shortly before I launched Lovefraud.com. I sent my copies of Montgomery’s military records—and they were voluminous—to an organization called Australian and New Zealand Military Impostors. The organization’s investigators—all former military men—determined that every document was fabricated.
“We hold copies of documents that indicate he has been constructing his false history over many years and we have never before run across such an obviously labour intensive project,” ANZMI wrote. “Montgomery gets the award for the wannabe who tried the hardest to perpetuate his fraud while also being the most incredibly stupid.”
For more on Montgomery’s fake military service, read the following links. If his actions weren’t so despicable, they’d actually be quite entertaining.
Forged Victoria Cross citation (Scroll down to James Montgomery)
Montgomery’s military claims debunked
Thousands of impostors
Unfortunately, Montgomery is not alone. As documented on the Is he military? page of Lovefraud.com, thousands of men and women exaggerate the accomplishments of their military service, or claim to have served when they never did. VeriSEAL.org has exposed more than 35,000 men who falsely claimed to be Navy SEALS. This is especially shocking because only 11,000 men actually graduated from the SEAL training program. And the POW network, which exposes false or exaggerated military claims, can’t even count how many liars are listed on its website.
Some of these people with trumped up military claims are relatively harmless. They just want to seem important when they aren’t. But many of the impostors are sociopaths. They use the mantle of respectability that goes with military service in order to con people. Or, they con the government, stealing military benefits that they don’t deserve.
Almost a year ago, on December 20, 2006, the U.S. Stolen Valor Act was signed into law. It addresses the unauthorized wearing, manufacture or selling of military decorations and medals. Some cases are being prosecuted. The United States Attorney’s Office in the western district of Washington is prosecuting eight cases in which phony veterans have scammed more than $1.4 million.
It’s a start.
Australia has laws against claming false military service. Montgomery could be subject to a fine of $3,300 and jail time of up to six months. The sentence is ridiculously light, but the law is rarely, if ever, enforced.
So by faking the respectability of military heroism, my ex-husband, James Montgomery, scammed over $1 million from myself and four other women that I know about. I did manage to get him fired from his job by exposing him in the Australian media. But so far, James Montgomery, like most military impostors, has not been prosecuted.
Frank Lee, as a Christian believing and following the wisdom of Jesus Christ … He gave us Psalms 144:1-15 specifically for our service folks who fight for Truth (Him) to defeat Lies (evil aka Satan, Lucifer, the lord of darkness or any of the numerous names people call him and his army of evil doers… psychopath, sociopath) …
1 [a psalm] of David. Blessed [be] the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, [and] my fingers to fight:
2 My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and [he] in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.
3 LORD, what [is] man, that thou takest knowledge of him! [or] the son of man, that thou makest account of him!
4 Man is like to vanity: his days [are] as a shadow that passeth away.
5 Bow thy heavens, O LORD, and come down: touch the mountains, and they shall smoke.
6 Cast forth lightning, and scatter them: shoot out thine arrows, and destroy them.
7 Send thine hand from above; rid me, and deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of strange children;
8 Whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand [is] a right hand of falsehood.
9 I will sing a new song unto thee, O God: upon a psaltery [and] an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee.
10 [It is he] that giveth salvation unto kings: who delivereth David his servant from the hurtful sword.
11 Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand [is] a right hand of falsehood:
12 That our sons [may be] as plants grown up in their youth; [that] our daughters [may be] as corner stones, polished [after] the similitude of a palace:
13 [That] our garners [may be] full, affording all manner of store: [that] our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets:
14 [That] our oxen [may be] strong to labour; [that there be] no breaking in, nor going out; that [there be] no complaining in our streets.
15 Happy [is that] people, that is in such a case: [yea], happy [is that] people, whose God [is] the LORD.
Frank, I have no clue what country you are from, but I am sure that many of our military people who died for your freedom are buried in your country.
Peace be with you.
You know, I think a lot of the christian stuff on this blog puts a lot of people off it. Reading the above to justify evil war and murder of innocent men, women and children in the Middle East for oil is so depressing to read. The people or Iraq and Afghanistan are not being freed! Only a moron would think that killing a million of them for oil and opium is freedom!
Wake up call. If you examine the God of the Judeo-Christian Bible and see how he behaves HE IS THE GREATEST SOCIOPATH IN HISTORY. He expects everyone to do as he says or he burns them in hell for questioning him. Look at Adam and Eve and then follow the entire saga to it sociopathic/psychopath conclusion. The lunatic Biblical God (who is not real) even demanded his own son be slaughtered as an act of loyalty. Hello…!
I bet a lot of victims of sociopaths come on this board looking for help and they are put off right away by all the American bible nuts on here. Keep your God to yourself. The last thing anyone needs after being victimised by a sociopath is mindless quotes about fictional other one living in the clouds.
Frank (ly) I think you are the one who has now “put a lot of people off”.
Obviously you have an agenda that has no business being on this board.
Frank, 1st, Adam and Eve lived in the 2nd earth age, as we all do. There are 3 earth ages. One prior to the one we are currently living in and the 3rd earth age where all evil is rid of.
If you do NOT read His word, you are only speculating on what you think His truth is. It takes an entire lifetime to read His word. The older you become, the wiser you become via reading His word. The wiser you become, the more is revealed in His truth. A person can live to 120, you still won’t know all of His truth. His truth is beyond man’s comprehension. Besides Frank, you are comprehending His truth from a carnal eye instead of a Spiritual eye.
Try these passages on for size. He specifically states that there are good wheat and evil tares among people on this earth. Tares are the seeds of Satan.
Matthew 13:1-58
1 The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side.
2 And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the shore.
3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;
4 And when he sowed, some [seeds] fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
9 Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
10 And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables?
11 He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.
12 For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.
13 Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.
14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive:
15 For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and [their] ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with [their] eyes, and hear with [their] ears, and should understand with [their] heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
16 But blessed [are] your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.
17 For verily I say unto you, That many prophets and righteous [men] have desired to see [those things] which ye see, and have not seen [them]; and to hear [those things] which ye hear, and have not heard [them].
18 Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower.
19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth [it] not, then cometh the wicked [one], and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.
20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it;
21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.
22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.
23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth [it]; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.
24 Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
25 But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.
26 But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.
27 So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?
28 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?
29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.
31 Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field:
32 Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.
33 Another parable spake he unto them; The kingdom of heaven is like unto leaven, which a woman took, and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened.
34 All these things spake Jesus unto the multitude in parables; and without a parable spake he not unto them:
35 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying, I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter things which have been kept secret from the foundation of the world.
36 Then Jesus sent the multitude away, and went into the house: and his disciples came unto him, saying, Declare unto us the parable of the tares of the field.
37 He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man;
38 The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked [one];
39 The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels.
40 As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.
41 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;
42 And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
43 Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
44 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.
45 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
46 Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.
47 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a net, that was cast into the sea, and gathered of every kind:
48 Which, when it was full, they drew to shore, and sat down, and gathered the good into vessels, but cast the bad away.
49 So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just,
50 And shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
51 Jesus saith unto them, Have ye understood all these things? They say unto him, Yea, Lord.
52 Then said he unto them, Therefore every scribe [which is] instructed unto the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man [that is] an householder, which bringeth forth out of his treasure [things] new and old.
53 And it came to pass, [that] when Jesus had finished these parables, he departed thence.
54 And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence hath this [man] this wisdom, and [these] mighty works?
55 Is not this the carpenter’s son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas?
56 And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this [man] all these things?
57 And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.
58 And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.
Peace Frank.
Real veterans usually don’t spend much time aggrandizing themselves.
If someone does this, then they’re either not a real veteran or they’re exaggerating their service.
I spent 8 year in the Marines during the most boring decade of the cold war. There was little danger and less glory. I remain grateful the the Marines for providing me a relatively sheltered environment to spend my late teens through mid twenties. I find myself a bit embarrassed when people “thank me for my service.”
The only people who have ever questioned my military record have been frauds themselves. Both men were hopelessly narcissistic. One of them questioned my military service, my twenty two year marriage, my family heritage, my world travels, my college education and practically every other pertinent detail of my life. It turned out that his slander of me was entirely a projection of his own issues. His own carefully constructed identity was an elaborate fraud.
He slandered me because he knew I could effortlessly prove that all his own claims of glory where fake. As a genuine veteran with connections to the very institutions he claimed to have served with distinction, I knew he was a fraud. I never challenged his word, because I saw no point to it. His fondly held delusions were widely accepted as facts by all the members of his ministry and the huge Evangelical church where he was an “elder”. Who was I to rock the boat?
The final straw came unexpectedly, when he accidentally revealed to me that he had been siphoning off donations to his ministry for his own personal use. Unfortunately, I was so surprised by this revelation that I failed to conceal my gut wrenching horror. I’m afraid the emotion was clear to him from the expression on my face. We were in a room full of his most ardent followers, at a meeting he had initiated for the purpose of excoriating me for some imagined sin.
In was then that he threw the most amazing tantrum I’ve ever seen in an adult. It was a complete meltdown. It resembled descriptions I’ve read of psychotic episodes. I hope I never see anything like it again. The creepiest part about the incident was the way his followers accepted his bizarre fit as acceptable and justified.
As I tried to process the events leading up to this cataclysmic event, I realized that the reason so many worthwhile people had left his ministry was because they were deliberately distancing themselves. Like me, they knew he was a fraud. Unlike me, they knew that he was also a toxic personality. They may not have expressed it in those terms, but they were wise enough to either consciously or instinctively distance themselves.
From this bizarre episode I learned a lot about real veterans and fake ones. Real veterans usually don’t bother to call fake veterans on their drama. Fake veterans have a lot of drama. Real veterans assiduously avoid the drama.
Stay away from the drama. At the first sign o drama, beat feet!
Elizabeth, I don’t know why this is true, but it seems that people prefer to avoid truth for what it is, especially if it’s a nasty truth like being an imposter. Is it easier, or is it less painful? I don’t have the answer to that, but you’re spot-on about the drama.
It’s also interesting to see fake veterans move amongst real veterans – their conversations are so contrived and they feed on all information that they can from the real veterans to smooth out the jargon, remember campaigns, etc. UGH!!!!
Brightest blessings, and thank you for your service! (wink)
“Stay away from the drama. At the first sign o drama, beat feet! ”
PS: As soon as I adopted this policy, my life began to steadily improve. Sure, bad THINGS still happened to me, but bad PEOPLE stopped happening to me. Yes, there is a difference!
Elizabeth, I can attest that what you’ve written is true about them. My big boss (above my immediate supervisor) accused me of everything she herself, was guilty of. I’m still shaking my head 11 years later how she got everyone on her side against me for projecting her evil ways on me … then fell from grace when their (the bosses )attorneys asked me point blank in depositions my answers to her accusations. I kept looking at this one attorney thinking, aren’t you suppose to know the answers before you ask the questions? Long story short, the evil ones did themselves in, they didn’t need any help. Just give them enough rope and they hang themselves.
Peace.
Buttons,
I dunno what the deal is with impostors. I’ve been told that many of them aren’t bad people at all. They just find their real pasts to be empty of real merit.
My husband is a very good mentor. He advises young men to go out and do things they will be proud of for a lifetime. He advised a good friend of ours who is an asthmatic to go ahead and serve the State Department in Iraq. I believe that having taken this advice may forever inoculate this man from any urge he might have to exaggerate his accomplishments.
It is my natural impulse to be gentle with impostors. On the other hand, some impostors are personality disordered. I lack the ability to readily discern between the two types of impostor. This “blindness of the intuition” I suffer may well be incurable. It’s best for me to beat feet when my reason tells me that someone’s story doesn’t add up. My intuition is absolutely no help whatsoever in telling good people from bad.
“Long story short, the evil ones did themselves in, they didn’t need any help. Just give them enough rope and they hang themselves.
Peace. ”
There is balance and order to the universe.
The same thing happened to the narcissist I described in such detail here. The big difference was that he never faced LEGAL repercussions. The church leaders who discovered his fraud simply cut him loose.
He’s currently perpetuating his fraud on a whole new flock of dupes.
The peace comes in knowing that every one of his past victims are thriving. They’re all better people for having overcome the obstacles he thrust in their path.
It all works out.