Every Sunday my local newspaper, the Press of Atlantic City, prints the names of servicemen and women who died the previous week in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every Sunday, I make myself read the names. It’s the least I can do to honor their sacrifice. Today, Veterans Day, the newspaper printed a story about a local young man, a private, killed in Baghdad six months ago. I’m afraid I couldn’t read the story—it was too upsetting.
Veterans Day was always important to my ex-husband, James Montgomery. He wanted to show his patriotism and commemorate the comrades he lost in Vietnam as a member of the Australian military. In fact, when we met, 25 years after Vietnam, Montgomery claimed he was still affiliated with Special Forces. Military service was an important part of his persona.
This is an important part my upcoming book, Cracked Open, about life with a sociopath. An excerpt follows.
Veterans Day, 1996
In November 1996, James was invited to speak to schoolchildren about the importance of Veterans Day. A few days before the holiday, he went to a sixth-grade classroom in nearby Somers Point, New Jersey. With him were Joe Nickles, who had been an Army drill sergeant, and Bill Ross, who was a local mayor and had served in World War II. The three men sat on kid-sized chairs in the front of the room, talking about life in the military and answering questions from students. A teacher in the back of the classroom operated a video camera, transmitting the presentation to the rest of the school via closed circuit TV.
Each of the men spoke of their experiences in a way the children could understand. They talked about the training and the commitment. They explained what kept them going under fire—concern for their buddies.
A boy asked James a question: “Did you lose any friends in Vietnam?”
James answered slowly. “Yes,” he said, stretching out the word, “and I felt very sad when it happened. That’s why Veterans Day is so important. It’s a time to remember all those served their country, especially those who gave their lives.”
Standing in the back of the room, I was proud of everything James did to protect the rest of us.
When Veterans Day actually arrived on Monday, November 11, 1996, James planned to attend a ceremony in Mays Landing, New Jersey. The previous year, James was the keynote speaker. The Press of Atlantic City reported that he “recounted service-to-the-nation stories about comedienne Martha Raye and retired Major Dick Meadows, who led the raid on Son Tay to rescue POWs.” The local Mays Landing Record Journal ran a photo of him wearing his Special Forces beret and camouflage jacket in the rain.
I was supposed to meet him at the ceremony. But as I was ready to leave, I discovered that James had taken his car keys—and mine as well. After a moment of dismay, I was relieved—work deadlines were looming, and I really didn’t have time to drive out to Mays Landing, stand at a ceremony, and drive back. But my efficient and logical thinking didn’t go over well with my husband.
“Why didn’t you turn up?” he demanded when he arrived home.
“I was going to,” I said. “You took my car keys.”
“You could have come if you wanted to. You could have called a taxi,” he retorted, without acknowledging his own mistake.
I was astounded. “Are you kidding? That would cost a fortune!” I said. “And I’ve got a lot of work. I was better off staying home and getting it done.”
“It appears that what is important to your husband is not important to you,” he said. “Gale understood how important this is. She used to iron my uniforms.”
James stomped downstairs to his office, and I was left to wonder about being compared to my husband’s deceased wife. I felt guilty—temporarily—and then I went back to work.
Never in the military
What I know now, that I did not know in 1996, was that James Montgomery, my ex-husband, was never in the military.
From what I can tell, Montgomery had been including military service in his biographical profiles and resumes since at least 1980. He sent me a copy of the “mention in dispatches” report that recounted his heroism in Vietnam, for which he was awarded the Victoria Cross, Australia’s highest military honor. While we were married, Montgomery was active in the local chapter of the Vietnam Veterans of America. In gratitude for his contributions, the VVA gave Montgomery a plaque, which he hung on the wall.
After I left Montgomery, I began to suspect it was all a lie. I got my proof in 2005, shortly before I launched Lovefraud.com. I sent my copies of Montgomery’s military records—and they were voluminous—to an organization called Australian and New Zealand Military Impostors. The organization’s investigators—all former military men—determined that every document was fabricated.
“We hold copies of documents that indicate he has been constructing his false history over many years and we have never before run across such an obviously labour intensive project,” ANZMI wrote. “Montgomery gets the award for the wannabe who tried the hardest to perpetuate his fraud while also being the most incredibly stupid.”
For more on Montgomery’s fake military service, read the following links. If his actions weren’t so despicable, they’d actually be quite entertaining.
Forged Victoria Cross citation (Scroll down to James Montgomery)
Montgomery’s military claims debunked
Thousands of impostors
Unfortunately, Montgomery is not alone. As documented on the Is he military? page of Lovefraud.com, thousands of men and women exaggerate the accomplishments of their military service, or claim to have served when they never did. VeriSEAL.org has exposed more than 35,000 men who falsely claimed to be Navy SEALS. This is especially shocking because only 11,000 men actually graduated from the SEAL training program. And the POW network, which exposes false or exaggerated military claims, can’t even count how many liars are listed on its website.
Some of these people with trumped up military claims are relatively harmless. They just want to seem important when they aren’t. But many of the impostors are sociopaths. They use the mantle of respectability that goes with military service in order to con people. Or, they con the government, stealing military benefits that they don’t deserve.
Almost a year ago, on December 20, 2006, the U.S. Stolen Valor Act was signed into law. It addresses the unauthorized wearing, manufacture or selling of military decorations and medals. Some cases are being prosecuted. The United States Attorney’s Office in the western district of Washington is prosecuting eight cases in which phony veterans have scammed more than $1.4 million.
It’s a start.
Australia has laws against claming false military service. Montgomery could be subject to a fine of $3,300 and jail time of up to six months. The sentence is ridiculously light, but the law is rarely, if ever, enforced.
So by faking the respectability of military heroism, my ex-husband, James Montgomery, scammed over $1 million from myself and four other women that I know about. I did manage to get him fired from his job by exposing him in the Australian media. But so far, James Montgomery, like most military impostors, has not been prosecuted.
Elizabeth, I believe most people would bring them into court if it was affordable. Enough said on the cost of justice today.
Peace.
sweetcynic and Elizabeth Conley,
My father was in WWII, having been drafted into the Army. You are right when you say that true soldiers rarely talk about their wartime experiences, my father being an example. What I learned about him usually came by way of other family members. I just remember one conversation with him, telling me about how his unit of soldiers was walking through a forest, there were a couple of German snipers in the trees, being shot down, killed. He told the story matter-of-factly, being brief about it. My impression was that it was a horrible experience – he didn’t want to talk about it, living through it was enough.
Y’know Wini, court is costly. However, I think churches and ministries find public embarrassment to be even more costly.
The revelation that a ministry leader is stealing donations causes donors to melt away. The legitimate work of the ministry is severely damaged.
A church that prides itself in a “discerning” leadership finds its credibility severely undermined by a revelation that it has repeatedly defended an elder whose behavior is ultimately revealed to be toxic to the flock.
To churches and ministries, prosecuting criminal behavior on the part of an elder or ministry leader costs them donations and followers. That’s more painful to them than lawyer’s bills.
Elizabeth, that because they know these passages (SMILE).
Jeremiah 51: 62
Then shalt thou say, O LORD, thou hast spoken against this place, to cut it off, that none shall remain in it, neither man nor beast, but that it shall be desolate for ever.
Matthew 5: 30
And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Mark 9: 43
And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
Mark 9: 45
And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
Peace Elizabeth.
Bluejay,
I understand where you’re coming from. One of my great-uncles served in the Marines during WWII, storming beach after beach in the Pacific. He was an expert in communications, and men with his training were in very high demand. Communications on the beach had to be established at all costs. The turnover of personnel in his unit due to combat losses was terrific. I once tried to explain to a group of young college students how his service adversely affected him for the rest of his life.
One of the young ladies became outraged by what she perceived as “my lies”. Someone had apparently convinced her in the past that no serviceman in WWII was ever expected to storm a beach more than once. She expounded this naive fantasy so passionately that I simply stopped trying to explain the harsh realities of wartime service to her. The Marines could not afford to use their expensively trained communications experts, called linemen, only once. They replaced linemen when they died, they promoted the linemen who survived. These men’s “experience” was to valuable to be wasted in the rear. Communication was a vital linchpin to the Marine’s success in the Pacific.
My great uncle was a modest, retiring man. I learned of his past through family accounts and research, not from him. I believe he would have been more comfortable if no one knew of his service. He certainly never spoke of it.
Frank Lee,
Finally you are someone that makes a lot of sense. I so agree with you in regards to how the military and religion today are hotbeds for sociopaths and cluster B personality types.
I’ve had times where I have socialized and interacted with marines and special forces soldiers, which has given me insight into how their actions overseas have affected them and their philosophy/outlooks on living. And from my limited experiences interacting with them, I can say that these soldiers views on human life are terrifying. They are 100% lacking in any empathy and believe the use of overwhelming power, terror, and force is the most opportune way to get people to behave and to control them. Some of them bragged about how they would scare families to death because they would use bombs to blow in the doors of peoples’ homes before proceeding to violently raid and drag out “suspects” who almost never have anything to do with the Taliban or any enemy forces. These guys are also happily willing to bring about the death of someone for the most flimsiest of reasons and without any afterthoughts or regrets whatsoever. In fact, they appear to gloat and take pleasure in their atrocious actions.
Why hasn’t Lovefraud posted the news story about the “Kill Team” in Afghanistan where a group of soldiers would go around and kill Afghan civilians, collect their body parts as trophies, and pose with their badly mutilated bodies? This is a clear-cut case of pure sociopathy. Furthermore, according to the whistle blowers of that battalion, this type of behavior is actually quite common in the armed forces and he said himself a good many number of soldiers over in Afghanistan are “scumbags and murderers.” Here in America, we have a voluntary military, and what type of person is going to volunteer for a organization like the US Army, Marines, Airforce, etc., that relies on the use of brute force to ensure compliance? What type of person would want to join an organization that violently occupies countries and uses overwhelmingly force to try to pacify them? It doesn’t take too much thinking to realize that a sociopathic personality would find a whole lot of fun to be had in the US military today. They can torture, maim, frighten, and murder with near impunity in far away, out-of-sight countries where the people “don’t matter.”
On the matter of Christianity and the Bible, the god described in the Old Testament fits the sociopathic/psychopathic profile to a tee. He is violent, vengeful, jealous, petty, and routinely commits genocide against anyone who doesn’t worship him enough. I mean really, only a psychopath would have people sent to everlasting fire and torment just because they didn’t bow down. It’s an absolutely sick belief system. And Christian churches often have religious charlatans (aka – sociopaths) who only go to church and play the Christian “role” in order to look good to the community and portray their unfortunate victims as the evil ones. I know this is sometimes so since I’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment.
Anyway, I think it’s only fitting the hypocritical Christian churches of today would be so nationalistic and support criminal war crimes overseas. If you read about Nazi Germany, you will see how the Catholic churches played a significant role in instigating the Holocaust. Hitler often proclaimed his absolute adherence to Christianity and stated he was fighting the Jews and Bolsheviks in the name of Christ. Nazism was a fusion of the power of the German state, military, and state supported so-called Christian churches.
Platinum,
Actually, LF did post an article about QUOTE “Why hasn’t Lovefraud posted the news story about the “Kill Team” in Afghanistan where a group of soldiers would go around and kill Afghan civilians, collect their body parts as trophies, and pose with their badly mutilated bodies?”
You will also find that LF management and bloggers do not condone psychopathic behavior in the military or in the church, the political, the judicial, the police, or in any other organization in our society…but if you think that eliminating the military because there are psychopaths in it will “cure” all the evils of this country, or eliminating the police because there are psychopathis that are cops, or eliminating a government because many politicians are psychopaths, or eliminating schools because there are pedophile teachers there….what would you have?
Sure I am just as angry about bad military personnel, bad cops, bad elected officials, bad teachers, bad parents, bad neighbors, and bad priests as anyone anywhere is angry. Which is why episodes of bad behavior, psychopathic behavior should be exposed and people educated about how to spot the psychopaths.
I have a psychopathic son in prison. He is a diagnosed psychopath, and he is where he deserves to be for murder. I hope he never gets out. I fought for his last parole attempt to be denied. It was denied. When he comes up for parole again I will fight that parole attempt. I put my “money where my mouth is” where psychopaths are concerned.
But at the same time, I know that as a country we need a military, we need police, we need teachers, and we need spiritual leaders, and political leaders…but we also need to weed out the “bad apples” from among them. This isn’t a new problem with military personnel, it has gone on as long as there have been “soldiers” in “armies”—and kings and courts. It is part of the human condition in every country in the world. One man’s “freedom fighter” is the other man’s “terrorist” and I don’t see that changing any time soon.
The best thing about Lovefraud management and bloggers is that we have a common enemy—anyone, anywhere, any time, who behaves in a manner that demonstrates they have no empathy, sympathy, compassion, kindness or honesty toward their fellow man.
“the god described in the Old Testament fits the sociopathic/psychopathic profile to a tee”
Let’s take a simple, scaled down look at this statement from an academic point of view (tho I am just a grad student):
1). The “god” of the Old testament has a name. “God” is a title. His name is Yahweh. The Muslims call Him Allah. I mention this because it is important that we establish the regional link between the two religions. The Chaldean’s called Him El as in ELOHIM. The Hebrews borrowed the name El. Ex: El Shadai, JoEL, etc.
2). What may seem “sociopath” to a 21 century American mindset (as far as referring to Yahweh), is in actuality the followers of the early dieties of that time frame, in that cultural fabric, warring to establish power bases and land ownership. It was simply a matter of survival.
3). “God” of the OT translates into Jesus of the NT under a NEW COVENANT (Old Covenant again a land issue) which was considered so odd that it got Him killed. LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU. HUH??? Are you kidding me?….they said…
According to Christian (BIG C HERE) theology (orthodox) He “reinvented the wheel” on Mt. Calvary. Everything the OT said to do, His death negated (except that which was brought over to this side of the cross Ten Commandments etc.) example: Oxy mentioned the stoning of the woman caught in adultery. That is a very typical occurrence in Middle Eastern thought then and now, (yes Virginia the Hebrew people are Middle Eastern not from Kansas USA sorry, Toto ) and is still practiced today in many places in the Mid East. It is called an honor killing. That Jesus intervened with the honor killing and put a stop to it: well very odd indeed. But that is His message in ESSENCE.
4). I spent many years in a Conservative Mennonite community (yes, in Kansas) and so I tend to be a pacifist in that I believe Jesus DID NOT TEACH THAT HIS DISCIPLES KILL ANYONE. The 1st Century followers of “The Way” were not encouraged to join the military because they were PACIFISTS. http://www.earlychristianwritings.com. It was Constantine that changed the view of Christianity which then included military service but from it’s early days it was not practiced.
Having said that I also believe that I will defend my own if I have too. I was also a practicing Buddhist and I am thinking of the old TV show “Kung Fu’ where the hero only kicked ass when he was defending someone who was vulnerable. I am thankful for our troops and they are in my prayers but I MYSELF COULD NOT DO IT. I am glad someone does it. My son is in Navy ROTC and I am proud of him. He is not a sociopath BTW just a really awesome 16 year old.
This conversation could go on forever (as theology libraries hold shelves and shelves of books just on one gospel alone!) so I will end with this:
Here on LF we (and I say WE coz I AM HERE TOO) come to help those who have been victims of disordered relationships. We have been conned by individuals who are narcissistic and sociopaths in their hard wiring and we are hurting. I will again quote Ox Drover as she often says we tend to “see spaths behind every bush” we can get a bit paranoid and we often get triggered.
This site is a place to heal. Yes I have been zinged before on this site. Recently a couple of times. My persona, my gender, was maligned and I was accused of trying to manipulate a “confession” out of another poster who was hurting. I was giving that individual my all, my heart, my concern, my sensitivity, and yes my KINDNESS AND LOVE. That is nothing to puke at BTW. I don’t always succeed BUT I TRY. And NO I don’t believe in confession. Sorry to disappoint…
To me that reeks of DRAMA so I retreat and I do not feed the drama. That is part of my “keeping the peace” though I am no expert on the subject like I said I try…
And yes I am a Catholic (and a fan of Saint Francis of Assisi) and I have read here recently the comments on Donna’s view of discussing religion. As long as it is respectful, it is not denied us as posters.. I DO NOT wish to make new Catholics. If someone is drawn there then I encourage but I am not in the converting business. I also make myself accountable to Donna via email.
I have been many, many denominations and religions, thus my master’s in Theology-I have lived it. I am PROGRESSIVE. Look that up before making any judgments on me, that’s all I ask. I am part Native American so I practice that. I tend to have a soft spot for Amma the hugging Saint of India, she, like Mary of Nazereth represents the Divine Feminine to me. Note I say TO ME..
I value human life whether it is an unborn child (tho I refuse to judge on that one) or whether it is someone on death row. YES I hate it when child molesters are running around out there BUT I DO NOT WISH DEATH ON THEM because I also believe in KARMA. If it were my kids that were molested I might change my mind.
Finally, I DO NOT use the scriptures as my own personal fortune cookie. I do think of them as wisdom. The one scripture I have been meditating on lately is the one that says “he who is given much is required much”. I am thinking particularly of the folks here on LF who are a storehouse of wisdom. It’s a big job…
The teachings of Jesus, in their ESSENCE, is what I try to practice. I often fail but when I do. I get up, I dust myself off, and I keep on truckin…and I also highly regard the teachings of the Buddha and Mohamed, and Krishna, and, you get the point..
I have been wanting to say this for awhile now but have been waiting and meditating and yes, praying too, oh my…and I hope I am making sense. I went on a 25 mile bike ride yesterday and at 53 I am a dead woman walking (barely). Yes, I said, WOMAN…:)
I have “said what I need to say” because I am learning to speak up and not let others take a dump on me… and I am letting it go, so….
Blessings to all today,
Adamsrib
Adamsrib!
so very well said!!
you got each and every point, a credit to your experience and your education, I think.
(((thanks Adamsrib))) for being so eloquent.
Skylar,
🙂 thanks…