This may be the most flagrant and egregious case of school bullying ever—and teachers laughed. Read:
Kids and laughing teachers bullied suicide teen, on ABCNews.go.com.
More bullying stories:
Downtown Miami charter school sexual abuse and bullying led boy to attempt suicide twice: Lawsuit, on HuffingtonPost.com.
Teacher accused of raping 12-year-old boy, on AOL.com.
Links provided by Lovefraud readers.
My egg donor had a friend who was on the Batan Death March and I have heard stories both first and second hand of his ordeal, and I have been interested in this culture since them.
Recently I read a book about the March and another one about the Rape of Nanking (China) in which Japanese soldiers and officers killed between 200,000 and 350,000 innocent civilians, women and children in a 6 week period of time by torture and rape, not just “humane” murder.
B oth books, the one on Batan and the one on Nanking portrayed the pre-WWII culture of Japan as one of bullying from the top down, with the officers in the army (or any superior position) bullying and beating those beneath them, and each level bullied and abused the level below them, in such a way that the poor Japanese soldier only had captives left to bully, but because of the pent up rage that was engendered by the society/culture as a whole which was inflicted on them…in other words, abuse without recourse…they became horribly cruel to those below them.
I do not doubt that there is a great deal of truth in this assessment, or that that culture to some extent today exists in Japanese culture. We also know that in ALL cultures there are those individuals who will abuse others,, taunt others, bully them….and others which I call “fence sitters” who will knowingly not make any effort to stop the abuse even though they know it is “wrong.”
We have all seen other news articles here in the US or in the UK or Europe which are as horrible as the ones above.
I think it is up to us as individuals and as a collective to educate those around us by our own refusal to tolerate abuse for ,or for others, to STOP this “culture of abuse.” Whether it is NOT telling or not laughing at “macho” jokes about men abusing women or vice versa or something more assertive I think it is our duty to do all we can to stop bullying..
Thank you, Oxy, for that information.
I cannot imagine a culture where no one would think it out of line for teachers to laugh at children bullying other children, especially to the point of committing suicide.
I am glad that there are some people who are outraged. One of the blessings of the Internet is that people cannot sit in ignorance anymore. Sure, not everbody is connected to the Internet, but enough are, especially the young people who will change the culture eventually.
I was heartbroken when I read this article. That poor child and his parents.
The other two articles…my first thought was we once assumed that schools were a safe place to send out children. Unfortunately, I think there are many people who believe these incidents are rarities and will never happen in their town.
My town has about 18,000 inhabitants and over the past few years, we’ve had at least three teachers that I can think of who got into trouble to varying degrees because of sexual misconduct on the part of the public school teachers.
Awareness must come first, before we can expect any positive changes, so once again, it goes back to educating the public as well as letting our legislators know that we will not tolerate this behavior. They have to hear what people want changed.
I was thinking about what you said regarding the Japanese culture, Oxy. I don’t know how true this is today, but there is a perception of the Japanese being very concerned about honor and saving face.
If honor and saving face are so important, which I believe is what is behind harikari, then a scapegoat and bullying would have to be very important to that culture surviving as well.
Someday there will probably be a one world culture as our borders get more blurred and information gets more rapid and universal. Eventually, I hope this need to bully and save face will disappear.
Grace,
bullying isn’t limited to any one culture.
What Oxy described is EXACTLY what happens in any culture –today or yesterday or 1000 years ago.
There are people who don’t bond properly with their mothers. These people are so afraid of abandonment that it colors their entire lives. They want to see other people be scapegoated because it makes them feel safer. They know, instinctively, that once the crowd has a victim, they won’t need another one for a while. So these spath/bullies are always looking to procure a victim for the hungry masses. It has nothing to do with saving face.
Remember the poem, The Hangman.
The crowd doesn’t stand up for the innocent victim because it insures that THEY aren’t chosen as a scapegoat.
At my cabin home, we have a neighborhood water association. It seemed to me that every couple of years the water association would sue one of the member to make them pay for something. I felt like there was an ogre living under a bridge and it would exact a toll on someone, randomly. When the victim was chosen, we all breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t US that year. I finally got sick of it (knowing that my turn as victim was near) and got myself elected to the board of directors. I revealed what was happening and got the troll voted off the board when I disclosed all her “misfeasance”. (I couldn’t prove it was intentional)
BUT, unbeknownst to me… my spath was watching. I stupidly got all his minions elected on to the board with me. !!!
Just as I had handled, Malice, I could have handled them, they are idiots, but then my spath’s mask fell off and I RAN. I still can barely take facing the spath’s minions. It’s horrific to look at the “human” faces of creatures that crave your death. They seem so real. yet, I know they are not. cog/dis extraordinaire.
Oh and btw, Malice is back on the board despite her malfeasance. Once I was out of the picture, she felt safe. What I’ve observed is that people don’t want responsibility. They can’t imagine malice, they write it off to “misfeasance”. Nobody wants to believe that anyone would intentionally do evil.
Look up the Governer of florida and his medicare scandal for proof of this.
Please don’t forget that bullying is spath behavior and it transcends nationality, ethnicity, race and sex. It’s EVERY WHERE.
This is a horrific article and very upsetting to me, personally.
Skylar, this type of behavior is so frigging common and you are 100% spoy-on that it isn’t just happening in Japan.
I recently reconnected with a high school friend who is an extraordinary artist. While we were in school, a fellow student hanged himself at the age of 13. In a recent conversation with my friend, he revealed why this boy was distraught enough to end his own life and it was due to bullying. I had always believed that the boy’s dysfunctional home was the catalyst, but it was a minor factor. The school was a private parochial achool of 300 students, and I had NO idea that this had been going on.
The “minions” are not to be excused for engaging in “mob rules,” either. I studied sociology in college, and there are plenty of “explanations” as to why the Minion Factor occurs, but it’s no excuse as far as I’m concerned.
I never said that the behavior was unique to Japan. Of course I realize it’s everywhere.
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2012/05/02/publicly-humiliating-children-sanctioned-abuse/
I was commenting on the possibilities why the teachers would laugh.
G1S, I actually had to address the School Board for a similar incident that was perpetrated upon my eldest son.
Of course, the eldest son was a horrible challenge to ANY teacher, but this one day, he was taken to the Principle’s office. The Principle was furious with him (and, I can understand this), but he lost complete control of his faculties. With the Secretary and offended teacher in the office, the Principle began a tirade of ridicule that ended with him (the Principle) standing on the ends of my son’s feet, and shoving him backwards so that the couldn’t balance himself and fell. The ensuing laughter and ridicule was replellant, even though my son probably provoked this man’s wrath.
Now, having looked at both sides of this nasty coin, my son was a perennial disruptive presence – he has since been diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, Cluster B, and I’ve posted extensively about his choices and spathy. But, the three adults who were involved in the incident were gleefully ridiculing a kid – albiet a nasty kid, but a 12-year-old that did NOT respond well to the ridicule.
In questioning, the Principle made a claim that he “…cannot recall such an incident…” to have ever happened. The two other adults made the exact same statements, verbatim, during questioning.
What’s the moral of this event? I dunno…..but, it doesn’t take much of a leap for human beings to head down that dark path.
Similarly, in one of the most prestigious School Districts of the State of New Jersey, a special ed. teacher and her aid were RECORDED taunting and ridiculing their students after a concerned father noticed that his severely autistic son was acting-out with regard to school. The father “wired” his son (no easy task with an autistic child!) and sent him to school. What he recorded was simply horrific. And…..when brought to the attention of the District, NOTHING HAPPENED with the exception of one aid being fired, and the teacher being reassigned.
WARNING: this video could be very triggering, so please, be advised. The father is also very dramatic, but who wouldn’t be?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2OIQQs6PTQ
I have no doubt that the Japanese culture has changed some since pre WWII, but even in 70 years it is unlikely to change COMPLETELY. Even after the Civil War (War between the states) here in the US prejudice and mistreatment of blacks did not suddenly stop and change.
It is my understanding that “Face” is a very important thing for the Japanese culture even today. The national leaders to this day DENY about the rape of Nanking having happened though there is more than ample proof in first hand witness testimony and photographs to prove it did happen and was horrific, but because of the “National saving of face” many public officials have denied publicly that it ever happened. Several have been removed from office because of the public outcry about the denials too, but the denials continue.
The Korean “comfort women” who were kidnapped to provide sexual “comfort” to the Japanese soldiers were denied as captives for many many years and portrayed as prostitutes until finally they were acknowledged as kidnapped and raped and compensated (some what) for their suffering not too long ago.
The spin of the psychopaths, whether it is a national situation as in war, or whether it is a personal situations as one psychopath abusing a victim is to portray the victim as either not harmed, not victimized or having done it themselves.
We need to stand up more for the people who are victims, whether they are us or someone else. We need to stand up for what is RIGHT by the way we live and how we behave and speak.
Sociopaths are bullies!
I have often told my slag of a husband that he is a bully. In fact, yesterday, while looking up information regarding Minnesota’s Anti-bulling Task force I found this definition (one of many’many definitions) that relates to him:
“Bullying is a particularly vicious kind of aggressive behavior distinguished by repeated acts against weaker victims who cannot easily defend themselves, ((Farrington, 1993; Smith & Brain, 2000). Its consequences are severe, especially for those victimized over long periods of time. Bullying is a complex psychosocial problem influenced by a myriad of variables. The repletion and imbalance of power involved may be due to physical strength, numbers, or psychological factors.” (Smith, D.J, Schneider, B.H., Smith, P.K., & Ananiadou, K. 2004)
“Direct bullying… is a relatively open attack on a victim that is physical (hitting, kicking, pushing, choking) and or verbal (name calling, threatening, taunting, malicious teasing) in nature.
Indirect bullying….my slag’s MO… is more subtle and difficult to detect. It involves one or more forms of relational aggression, including social isolation, intentional exclusion, rumor-spreading damaging someone’s reputation, making faces or obscene gestures behind someone’s back, and manipulating friendships and other relationships.” (UCLA Center, Mental Health in Schools Program Policy and Analysis, 2011)
“Bullying is a subtype of aggressive behavior characterized by the intent to harm, repetition of attacks, and the abuse of power over a weaker victim (Olweus 199). Besides direct physical or verbal aggression, bullying can include indirect forms such as group exclusion or gossip (Crick and Bigbee 1998) and sometimes occurs through electronic means such as email or cellular phones (Patchin and Hinduja 2006).” (Ryan & Smith, 2009)
Minnesota’s last election for governor included a pathetic jerk who publicly stated that he would NOT support any anti-bullying legislation…fortunately, HE LOST the election…Yippee…happy day 4 me!
The winning governor, Mark Dayton, quickly appointed a diversified group of individuals to hold public hearings throughout the state. The anti-bullying Task Force has obtained input from students and adults regarding what should be included in our anti-bulling law. The task force has already held several “town hall-type” meetings throughout the state. Information about every meeting is available on-line for citizens to follow.
People who are concerned about bullying need to ask those who are running for office about how they stand on this issue…and makje sure the candidates give non-evasive responses… then VOTE ONLY for those candidates who recognize that laws are needed to prevent bullying…and promise to support anti-bullying legislation.
Hopefully after state governments have finally passed anti-bullying laws for school students, the next step will be to apply those laws to all victims (young and old) of sociopaths!
Once in my conversations with spathy boy, I had relayed the information to him that as a small child, I had been beaten and verbally abused by my grandmother, all behind my grandfathers back and in secret, for a great many years. Well, one time when I didn’t do what he wanted me to, he sent the BOBO Doll experiment tape, which is also on You Tube, hoping that it would trigger horror and upset with me. At first, I was taken back by such a hateful display of evilness but I think that is when I really started seeing it for myself. The twisted evilness of the being.
I consider myself a true survivor in every sense of the word. I am stronger than “IT” could ever dream of being.
BULLY. Yes, they are ALL BULLY’s. You are exactly right.
Hateful, lack of remorse, no respect except for the things they want and most of the time they don’t even know what they want…they want whatever you got so they can have it and you don’t. And that includes thoughts and the reactions they have pushed us into.
Yes, anti bullying laws are absolutely necessary for our children and if there is no program at your local schools, be one up on the subject and speak to your children about bullying and the proper reaction/actions they should take to make themselves safe and free of it. We can’t wait for someone else to protect our children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCETgT_Xfzg&feature=related
Thanks for this conversation, IMconfused.
Happy weekend.
Dupey