By Peggywhoever
Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).
This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.
Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.
See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?
You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.
You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.
Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.
Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.
Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.
You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!
It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.
YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.
What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.
You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.
Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?
Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.
It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.
Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).
Peace
Peggywhoever
Indi: You said that right. They live their justice daily, everything is the same to them, no ups, no downs … just flat lining …………………………………………………………
Peace.
That pay-pal acct# in case you miss placed it was 1234 evil 999
I wish I could quote some stuff from the Martha Stout book. (It’s in my car waiting to go back to the library). She talks about why you don’t want to envy a sociopath. She says to spot a sociopath, just look at the end of their lives. THEY ALWAYS FAIL AT THE END **coughOJSimpsoncough**. That and the ongoing gnawing, painful sense of boredom that is nothing like the occasional boredom we feel. It must be very painful.
StarG: Iwonder is getting folks together on the East coast and Oxy wants folks down at here farm … she’s in the South center of the US.
Peace. Yeah, it would be nice to meet everyone face to face … I can visualize everyone in my mind … and everyone looks good to me … your hearts and souls shine through… and I match you up with how you put the pen to the paper (aka type).
Hey Indi: My EX bilked up my credit cards … I no longer use any plastic … back to cash and carry (LOL)?
Do you have musical talents? You can put a hat on the sidewalk … and people can throw loose change into the hat (LOL).
Peace.
I am in Denver and don’t really have a budget for travel. But I’d be so up for a gathering on OxD’s farm. I want to see this infamous skillet in person!
Star the Skillet is not a person! silly!:)~
Ya fry(cook) food in it ! It’s Cast IRON about 20 lb(weight)
I wonder if we took a poll (survey) to see how many of (us) have come out of (our) PSYCO experience with so much less MONEY($$$$$$$) than before (we) met (them)??
Then next question (2.) what % this played in (their) decision to leave or (our) decision to boot (them)???
I think the most important thing in healing oneself ! spiritually , Mentally ,PHysically ! FORGIVNESS first
1.Forgive yourself for being Human!
2. Forgive them for being human!
LOVE jere
StarG: You’re the brave one .. she’ll fool you … she really has cattle prods at home … she just didn’t want to blow any of our noodles! Or is that fry our noodles?
Peace.
Oh, Wini, you silly! If you only knew what a pushover I am! When I took cattle to the butcher to be processed, my son or I would stand there and talk to them to calm them so they were not scared, and WOE UNTO THE BUTCHER WHO TRIED TO RUSH MY AINMALS OR USE A CATTLE PROD, he would get the BIG SKILLET! LOL
Actually I do cook in cast iron almost exclusively cause it is so easy to clean and has such a good even heat distribution that you really have to work at it to burn anything in it. I have them in all sizes from very small ones to huge ones you could cook for an army in, bean pots, and dutch ovens to cook over the camp fire with and bake in. They aren’t as heavy as Indie thinks, a big one weighing about 10 pounds and the medium ones that I usually cook in about 5 pounds. They would make a heck of a weapon though! I actually might use a cattle prod on a human, but NEVER would use one on one of my cattle. LOL But if an animal kicks at me, I KICK BACK with a large heavy stick, so they learn who is BOSS (Alpha) because that is important for my safety, but they would not understand a cattle prod, they do understand being “kicked” back however.
With the dogs, I GROWL at them to show my superior status, and if they are definant, I will shake their ruff and growl, or even in extreme situations, bite them on the ear. They understand that because that is the way their mother disciplined them when they were pups. They don’t hold a grudge or become afraid of you that way.
If an animal is dangerous to me or others, I have no problem putting it DOWN humanely. I do not allow inappropriate aggression from animals toward humans or other animals on this farm. If an animal is instinctively protecting its baby, or is reacting in fear because a handler acted inappropriately, that gives it another chance.
Before you can habituate or train an animal you have to be smarter than the animal. Not everyone is.
I wish we could have a love fraud get together, and I’ll donate the space for a camp out. We talked about it once before and I think Donna has some future plans for maybe some seminars, which would be a good thing. Maybe each of us can start a support group for our areas for people to get together. That would be a great thing I think, and “spread” the word. I am planning on doing just that in the near future in an effort toward my eventual goal of having a shelter here for women and children on the farm.
Awsome!