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Welcome to Lovefraud Land

You are here: Home / Recovery from a sociopath / Welcome to Lovefraud Land

November 3, 2008 //  by Donna Andersen//  336 Comments

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By Peggywhoever

Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).

This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.

Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.

See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?

You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.

You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.

Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.

Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.

Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.

You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!

It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.

YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.

What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.

You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.

Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?

Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.

It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.

Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).

Peace
Peggywhoever

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Previous Post: « Researchers want to know about your experience with a psychopath
Next Post: Captive Audience for a Murderer »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Stargazer

    November 8, 2008 at 10:44 am

    Well, the thought has crossed my mind to “investigate” to see what the army ever did to my ex S. But I’m not going to. Wish me luck today, though. I decided to run over the reptile expo to get snake food and vendor information. There is a chance that I will run into you-know-who. Literally. I may run into him with my car. LOL Seriously, if I see him there, I will just ignore him like I did last time.

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  2. Gemini_Fairy

    November 8, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Star!!!! Did you know I used to say that? That if I saw him I would literally run into him with my car. LOL!!!!

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  3. Stargazer

    November 8, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Tria,
    I also cannot afford a counselor, and this site has actually been my therapist lately. You can blog here any time, and there will always be someone around to lend a compassionate ear, so to speak. I’m sorry for what you are going through and direct to you read all the blogs about parents dealing with sociopathic family members.
    My best to you,
    StarG

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  4. lostingrief

    November 8, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    hey, i think we should exchange phone numbers for emergency ”DON’T CALL HIM/HER” interventions!

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  5. Indigoblue

    November 8, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    STAR

    I Told ya I will Counsel Ya My Fee Is Only 000000000.00

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  6. Stargazer

    November 8, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    LIG, please feel free to email Donna for us to exchange emails. I already talk to GemF.

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  7. Stargazer

    November 8, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Oh, and everybody, I had an S-FREE REPTILE EXPO today. Woohoo!!!!

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  8. Gemini_Fairy

    November 8, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    StarG – WOO HOO!!!!!
    LIG – Feel free to email Donna for us to xchange e-mails.

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  9. lostingrief

    November 8, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    hi star and gemini: just emailed donna.
    really glad there was no s/p contact today, star.
    i would HATE to run into my ex. damn, i don’t know what i’d do. i know for sure i’d give him the malocchia … italian evil eye! beyond that, i’d probably turn around and high-tail it outta there! lol. creep! jerk! a-hole!

    i went to the newsstand today, not sure what i was looking for. then, staring me in the face was the cover of The New Yorker, and the word PSYCHOPATHY popped out; a great article in The New Yorker about research on psychopaths. Hare and others were in there. check it out on-line, everyone. here’s the link:

    http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/11/10/081110fa_fact_seabrook

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  10. Gemini_Fairy

    November 8, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    LIG,

    Where in NY is the LF reunion? I’m in the D.C. area so I’m not far from NY (unless it’s upstate which would be a little further.)

    I’m feeling very depressed right now. I know everyone has been great and I do plan on going back to NC but as I said in an e-mail to Star G I don’t want him to be a sociopath. I hate knowing he doesn’t care about me. It hurts. I know you don’t have to always be friends with an ex but the idea of NEVER hearing from him again forever bothers me.

    Of course all the bad he’s done far outweighs any of the good. And the good really wasn’t real. I’m just sad and I broke down in tears a little while ago because I just feel like he set me back off balance once again.

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