Welcome to Lovefraud Land

This is my story. My sociopath was my boyfriend for over three years. At the beginning everything was great and he told me how I was his best friend and soul mate and within weeks of knowing each other he told me he loved me more than anything or anyone ever in his life. He also gave me a ring after only three weeks. He told me about his “horrible” parents and the neglect and abuse he took from them as a child. He told me he suffered from depression. I should have known as I do now how they pull you in with “pity” and he hooked me and how foolish and naive I feel now. I noticed he had mood swings and a rage problem but thought it was due to depression. But I never really thought he was depressed because he had to much energy for things he liked and a very high opinion of himself. He would always put himself apart from humanity and would say horrible things about how much he hated people and how he knew better. What should have been red flags but I didn’t ever expect this was some of the statements he made to me about “not being able to feel the right feelings” and whenever I cried he was cold with no emotion or compassion toward me. He would just stare at me and sometimes if I annoyed him he would scream “what do you want” and walk away. After attending a funeral of a family member he told me he wouldn’t care if his family died and it was just their time… I was floored and questioned him and said you wouldn’t be upset, no… and than I asked him what if I died? He answered that it wasn’t a fair question. As time went on his real personality started to come out more and he became extremely nasty and controlling. He controlled what I ate and wouldn’t let me wear certain things. He started to blame me for everything and never apologized for the mean things he did to me. He started getting nasty with me about money when throughout the entire relationship I paid for everything because he didn’t have a job for a year and even afterwards if he paid for anything he complained about it. He was a parasite and left me with very little in the bank and emotionally devestated. He broke up with me with no reason and simply told me to “go away” after about a month he made contact and never apologized but was extremely nice to me. I guess his other options ran out at that time. I found out about other girls and people he lied about. He was talking and seeing other people behind my back throughout the entire relationship. He started telling me he wanted me to move away with him and was looking for apartments. At this time I was still stunned from what he was doing and now I was more confused and used. He would pick me up at night and tell me he was depressed and end up using me and than becoming cold again immediately afterwards. He could act sexual but never hold my hand or show signs of affection. He would drive past my house and watch me to make sure I wasn’t out and he knew where I was at all times. He would go through my personal things and cell phone. When he was sure I had nothing and no one he would disappear. After contacting me after a couple days there was no explanation or apology and he acted like nothing. I started to feel more and more horrible and his behavior became worse. I started questioning him more and he lashed out at me and told me I broke up with him and blamed me for everything he did and said I ruin everything. He told me all the time we spent together was my illusion of us back together which he told me we were getting back together and denied ever saying that to me. Things he told me he now denied and acted like I was insane. He started cursing at me and getting physical. He would grab at me and throw my things around or get in my face and scream and try to back me down. He smiled whenever I seemed upset or crying. He enjoyed it and would act like he was satisified with my misery. He started become forceful sexually and would grab at my throat or “playfully” try to put pillows over my face. He started parading his little games in front of me with girls and would be on the phone or text messaging them while sitting right next to me and he would be smiling. He would sometimes lie because I would get upset and tell me it was one of his male friends and I would later find out he lied. He lied about everything. He told me I was selfish for getting upset with him about other girls. There was a time where he degraded me sexually and was rough with me and hurt me. While doing this he looked me in the eyes and told me he didn’t care what I wanted. He never felt bad about anything. He used me in every way possible. He has done so much to me I could write and write and write. This is my story and it is still happening even though I haven’t had contact with him for a week. He has devestated me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, sexually, and physically. I am haunted with memories of a form him and lies of what he really is and I have nightmares about him. I look back on everything and now I can put the puzzle together and I realize how sick and evil he really is and it makes me sick. Thanks for reading.