By Peggywhoever
Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).
This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.
Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.
See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?
You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.
You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.
Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.
Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.
Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.
You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!
It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.
YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.
What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.
You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.
Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?
Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.
It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.
Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).
Peace
Peggywhoever
Dear Trinity, dont decide just yet, that you will be depressed at Christmas, it is quite some time away. Maybe just think about how (and who with) you can spend your time, so that it is pleasurable.
Nite nite to all you lovely people in LoveFraud land.
Iwonder, same thing here about the text messages and comments. He told me I was “too difficult” and “too tough” and “overdramatic and angry”…. well wouldn’t any normal person be angry and upset with being lied to and abused?… he could never understand why I was upset. But if I questioned him he told me I ruined his day and he was aggravated and I had to leave or he would scream in my face. I realized he would take my love or hate as long as I responded to him. Now I refuse.
IWonder – Aren’t you and LIG meeting in New York? When does that take place? Like I said, if it’s NYC I’m there! I only live a few hours away.
Trinity – I don’t know where you live but if I was cloe right now I would keep you company so you wouldn’t be by yourself. Goodness knows that although I’m glad to be on-line with all my peps I would love to have some company.
Trinity, My ex would tell me he dated white women (he’s biracial) because he wanted to demolish them and because he could control them more. Wow! Thinking about that I should have seen a serious Red Flag.
I don’t know if I just helped or hindered myself. Now I REALLY feel like an idiot for having contact with him.
That was Good ( N.Y.er ) I like the Trolly test :)~
But didnt you feel like you knew all this already!!!! Not the tec. stuff and scans but all the real info.!
I thought that was Halerious about the inmates or genniepigs tacing up their brain scans and comparing who has the biggest brain ( no clue ) !!!:)~
Also I feel like I have already earned my Masters and Doctrate Degrees From LFU :)~ LOVE jere
Hi Gem, Yes. I want us to get together around the Christmas Holiday. I don’t know what day is good for everyone. Thanks to my neighbor, I have an invite to go to her company’s holiday party on one of those boats that cruise around New York..you know..around the statute of liberty, etc. I also am going to a work holiday party. I’m going to try my best and put on a happy face.
Trinity, your ex sounds like mine! He would tell me what to wear, told me I had to eat more because he would accuse me of watching my figure to attract other men…or I wanted to keep my figure and didn’t want to have a baby with him. He wanted to take me down to his level. He didn’t want me to go to school at night 2x a week. Got me fired from one job and didn’t like the next job I got and said “what are you too good to work at Walmart?” He has many issues. I couldn’t fix him. I do sometimes think maybe he is in the perfect relationship now and happy…but then I think of how he did the same shit to the woman before me and have to know the OW is getting her fair share.
Gemini_Fairy, I would love good company and I wish I could help you right now. I know what its like to sit home and watch time go by and be sad and have nothing to do and no one to talk to… I know. What’s this about a NY meeting? I live in NY :] lol
Gem: OMG! My ex was hispanic. He told me he was taught that white women were bad. His grandmother told him beware of white women. I was the first white woman he ever was with. He told me “you were the first white woman I dated…and will be the last.” You know he’s with a hispanic woman now. I don’t think it matters though because the woman prior to me was hispanic and we speak. She went through the same evil hell I did….so….he really doesn’t descriminate who he abuses.
Wow… mine was 1/2 hispanic… I’m kinda feeling dazed.