By Peggywhoever
Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).
This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.
Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.
See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?
You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.
You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.
Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.
Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.
Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.
You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!
It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.
YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.
What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.
You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.
Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?
Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.
It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.
Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).
Peace
Peggywhoever
Iwonder
Hey Trinity, I’m in Jersey. LIG and GemF don’t live far from NYC either. We should hook up at Grand Central Station one day and go somewhere.
Trinity
Sounds like a plan :]
Gemini_Fairy
IWonder – I do not need an excuse to come to NYC so I’m there! Just tell me when and where.
Trinity – My x’s mom is white and dad from Guyana (black) and he grew up having his mom tell him that he was white – but her family treated him badly because he was bi-racial. I think there is a lot of anger behind that.
He used to date women of other ethnic backgrounds but he said they became too difficult.
Iwonder
Hi Gem, Very interesting that your ex could never say he was sorry. Mine was the same. I once asked, “why don’t you ever say you are sorry after you hurt me?” He said saying sorry doesn’t do anything. It can’t take back what was done. I would try to explain that saying sorry doesn’t take it back but it helps the other person know you acknowledge you made a mistake and feel bad. I guess when you have no empathy, you wouldn’t understand how saying the words “i’m sorry” is important to someone you hurt. That should be one of the points on the check list of how to spot a sociopath. I think that’s a good indication of someone without a conscience or empathy: the unability to say “I’m sorry.”
Wini
Iwonder: I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you … if you believe that you were the only white g he dated … he’s telling the Hispanic g that he’ll never date another Hispanic woman again, so now he’s going to try a white girlfriend, same with what he tells black women and American Indians, Oriental, etc.
It’s all the same baloney he’s spreading on top of different breads …
They are equal opportunity LIARS.
Peace.
Iwonder
Wini! How are you? Yes, you are probably right. Black, white, brown, blue or green. All the same.
Very interesting about what you wrote on the other blog about the S’s being insecure. It’s true. Mine once told me a story about how an ex threw him out and he had no where to go. He was so upset. He said he never wanted that to happen to him again. He said, “do you know what it’s like having no where to sleep” This is probably why he always has another waiting in the wings. So he has a roof over his head. It never occurred to him to work hard and pay rent on his own so he wouldn’t have to use women. I guess it’s easier to use someone than to do that. Scum.
Indigoblue
I have some dry land in the everglades for real cheap:)~
Iwonder
Oh, and that woman cut his clothes up in little pieces and put them in a bag and left them on her porch. Therefore, he had no clothes and nowhere to go.
Iwonder
Oh, and that one was hispanic.
Indigoblue
Iwander
:)~ One second he’s insecure the next second he thinks he is Boxing chump Of the WORLD I want my PSYCOS Brain Scan ! can they scan a mustard seed????:)~