By Peggywhoever
Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).
This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.
Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.
See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?
You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.
You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.
Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.
Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.
Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.
You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!
It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.
YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.
What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.
You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.
Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?
Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.
It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.
Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).
Peace
Peggywhoever
Wini
Iwonder: I suspect his mom and dad were the first to throw him out on his butt …
They are all the same.
My EX told me that I was the 2nd women he ever was with … cause he was married for over 15 years … never cheated on her … haaaaaaaaaaaa…. and I fell for it … like an idiot, I feel for it …
Now he’s married to a Spanish woman down in TEXAS, his secret conversations to me … months before he left again (on business he said, yeah, monkey business) was … you know Wini, the women down in TEXAS drive over their cheating husbands with Mercedes?
Tell me he wasn’t doing a Ted Bundy thing here … Ted, taking off from Colorado holding cell after he asked those in the sheriff’s department … “what states have the death penalty”? When he escaped he ended up on a campus in Florida … cause FL had the death penalty.
Besides … all this … you know they are all so weird. Truly weird.
Peace.
Iwonder
Actually, The dad left his mom so he never knew his real dad. His mom did have a boyfriend for awhile but he left her. So he really didn’t have a male role figure. His mom couldn’t control him so he left his house as a teenager and lived out on the streets for awhile. Then his mom sent him to his aunt’s house to live in the US to have a chance at a better life. Funny. He never mentioned his time with his aunt much. I guess he never bonded with anyone.
Wini
Iwonder: You just made me think of something when you talked about his other girlfriend cut up his clothes into little pieces and put them in garbage bags on the porch.
Light bulb moment … they have so many women going on in their lives, we all blend together … they never remember from woman to woman, who the heck they are dealing with … there’s so many … that’s why they don’t care, that’s why they don’t say their sorry, that’s why they don’t listen to any single one of us …
the conversations are blurred
the scenarios are blurred
the hatred scenes from past lovers are blurred
everything with them is blurred
Yah think?
Trinity
Interesting you talk about them not wanting to work my boyfriend was the same way. For a year he used me and claimed it was too difficult to find a job… and allowed me to pay for everything and had no problem going out to eat and doing things because I was paying. When he finally got a job he complained about how I took all his money… and then had the nerve to tell me our money was always equal between us and he paid for things… he only paid for things when he had to or else he would look bad in front of people or he knew I would catch on to his parasite ways. I have some money saved up and he would constantly say what are you going to do with it? We should buy a house? WE?… you mean me? He would complain about working even after working only four hours and would go home and sleep because he was so exhausted and tell me how he shouldn’t have to work. Makes me mad.
Wini
Iwonder: Whether he remembers his dad when he was a kid and saw the dynamics of this shaky relationship with his mom (which I suspect he did) … or if he saw the shaky relationships with his mom and her boyfriends … he’s reliving what he saw when he was a kid.
Mom cries, when daddy or daddy figure leaves … daddy figure never cries, only mommy is upset … therefore, I want to be like daddy figure, not crying like mommy figure.
Period.
Indigoblue
Trinity
Can I Brow your Credit card I’ll be right back!:)~
Wini
Iwonder: Because they are all clouded by laziness, jealousy, greed … all the vices in life.
That’s why the virtues don’t float up … it’s all bogged down by their slimy vices in life.
Just like lies lay on top of truth … and you have to dig through all the lies to find the truth? Same with them … the vices they are living dumps on all the virtues in life … clouding any virtuous anything in life.
Peace.
Trinity
:] lol theres nothing on it its not worth it. But you did say something interesting: “One second he’s insecure the next second he thinks he is Boxing chump Of the WORLD” OMG… every week he was something different. One week he was a chef, the next week an artist, the next week a wrestler, etc etc….
lostingrief
my ex is black/hispanic. his wife is hispanic. he treats her worse than he ever treated me. doesn’t matter. it ain’t about race. it’s about CONTROL!
Indigoblue
Elemental Read Markus Arelus
Nature / Nuture
Combination of both Balance !
infant=not enough nurture ,results ,revert to nature ,survival instinc ,regression to primal state of mind = I do what ever it takes to survive! period! LOVE jere
Everything else is water under the bridge!