By Peggywhoever
Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).
This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.
Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.
See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?
You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.
You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.
Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.
Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.
Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.
You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!
It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.
YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.
What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.
You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.
Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?
Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.
It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.
Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).
Peace
Peggywhoever
Trinity For true for true
What are you high on at this point in time ????:)~
Oh I wana be a vet tec!!!!! LOL So ya wana clean up pooop??:)~
lostingrief: I know.
My EX’s mom punished his brother and him for a full year after they played in a neighbor’s garden and ended up fooling around so much, having fun, they destroyed it.
The neighbor of course complained, and my EX’s mom made he and his brother rake not only their yard for a year, the neighbor’s leaves as well … then when it snowed, the brothers had to shovel the walk, driveway … and do the neighbor’s too … for a full year.
I suspect after this … he turned off his emotions (must have been a very painful punishment and frustrating as well) … they were young, maybe 6 or 7 at the time …
Never to like women again cause of his mom and the neighbor woman? It doesn’t take much for them to be jealous or frustrated, hurt, upset, angry … sad, crying … never to do it again … it’s the old “I”ll show you, when I grow up I’ll never have to take this again” … and they go through life with that chip on their shoulders … playing it over and over and over again.
Peace.
It isn’t any wonder my x is the way he is. It’s not an excuse. People grow up under bad circumstances and end up just fine but I think his father being the way he was helped to make him the way he is. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or not but his dad was of the mindset that “I am the man, I’m in charge and I expect as my x used to say to me – loyalty, obidience and truthfulness” even when I go out and have endless affairs and children.
The only reason I have recently wondered about the cultural aspect is because I was looking at photos recently from “world reacts to Obama” This man’s father had about 8 or so children besides him. I just wonder if in certain cultures it’s just accepted.
I don’t know if I’m making sense or not. Like I said, I know that upbringing, culture, etc is no excuse but I have to wonder about how it molds or creates them. Or some of them in certain instances.
Inuet ; the people who live in the coldest place on earth
they have a name for these people !
when asked what do they do with them ! He said , someone pushes him off the ice when no one is looking!
cultural? LOVE jere
Indi: That’s the same thing … about taking your EX ice fishing ….
Yeah but this is not a joke The Inuets dont deal w/Psy for long something happens to them and no one saw noting
Dear Gem,
You know, I don’t think there is any culture that I know of that it is “okay” to spread your seed abroad and not to care for those children in any way.
Most of the Ps I know (my son excepted since he’s been in prison most of his life and all of his adult life) have multiple children by multiple women, most do not pay child support or nurture the child in any way. They may use the child as a weapon to injure the mother with (or father as the case may be) but that is about the extent of their “parenting.”
Some Ps keep their children as a shield to make them look like “upstanding fathers” (or mothers) as part of their “cover” in the community for business or social reasons.
In any case, the children are at “best” possessions and “extensions” of themselves for their own grandure, not the child’s.
Even in cultures where there are TRADITIONALLY multiple wives and many children, the fathers support and nurture the children. They don’t go off and desert them. In some cultures it is common for a man to have a “social” wife and children, and a mistress and her children, and in most cases I know about, the man supported and nurtured the illegitimate children as well as his wife’s children. I persoanlly don’t think that is a “great” arrangement, but in some places it is at least semi-accepted.
Obama’s family background, to me, seems pretty dysfunctional and chaotic, though the press has put a positive spin on it for the most part, or a very negative one depending on who is doing the reporting. McCain’s family life doesn’t appear to be much better though, as his father was an alcoholic, though was professionally successful in the military.
Personally I don’t know of many politicians whose family of origin was “Ozzie and Harriet” or who has an “ozzie and Harriet” marriage and family life themselves. (at least as far as you can judge from what’s in the press). Look at the Clintons, LOL.
Oxy,
Good point!!! I didn’t think of the traditional aspect. Yeah, P’s are P’s no matter what their background.
my ex only ‘loves’ his daughter because she’s a tall and thin and a model. and his first son because he is ‘devastatingly gorgeous, and a thug like me (at age six).’
his other son is ignored because he’s overweight and acts ”like a fag.”
who knows how he’ll feel about the impending spawn of beelzebub.
My husband used me to clear up all of his legal matters, I paid all of his child support arrearages, supported him completely emotionally and financially and then on Friday, after telling me he’d be home in 15 minutes, he wiped out my bank account and moved in with another woman. I have just one question: how long does it take to get over the hurt, shame and devastation? As hard as I try not to think about it, I cry all day and night. I can’t survive this long term.