By Peggywhoever
Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).
This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.
Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.
See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?
You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.
You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.
Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.
Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.
Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.
You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!
It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.
YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.
What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.
You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.
Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?
Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.
It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.
Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).
Peace
Peggywhoever
StarG: Like I said, just get a cat … open your door at night to let them wander around and you’ll have your dead mouse, freshly killed to feed your snakes. Actually, they’ll bring you anything they can put in their mouths and drag down the road. Hence, the saying “what did the cat drag in”? LOL.
Peace.
Actually, my cats rarely brought home anything dead. It would usually be half dead birds. This would pose a problem because I then had to take the poor birds to the bird rescuer to try and save them. So outside of the cuteness and lovability factors, cats really are quite useless in contributing to the household. LOL. And still their emotional depth is more than that of the psychopath.
StarG: They brought home half dead animals because you found them in the midst of them finishing off their prey. If you opened the door 1/2 later or an hour later than you actually did … believe me, that prey would be dead.
Peace … you are making me crack up with what you wrote me today.
Thanks, Wini. That’s a pleasant thought (about the dead birds). LOL. Well, I need to go finish eating my chicken dinner……
StarG: Sorry. I remember the first time a cat brought in his prey and sat in front of me with this proud look on his face. I was newly married and the cat was my husband’s cat. I had no idea why the cat was showing me this live mouse squeaking in his mouth. I kept walking away from the cat into another room. Every time I left, the cat keep following me and sitting right in front of my feet, so proud. I was screaming to my husband to come take the poor mouse away from the cat. My husband laughed and said “you are the new mistress of the house and the cat is proving to you that he pays his way for you feeding him”. I said, oh great, now what do I do. He said, well, you can either free the mouse which will upset and confuse the cat, or you can let the cat finish off the mouse and pet the cat for doing what he’s suppose to do.
Well, of course I made my husband call the cat into the other room and we freed the mouse.
Strange, strange cat that Arlo. He used to sit behind the bathroom door and wait for the other cats to walk by. He would stick his paw through the door and get the other cat to play on the other side. As soon as the other cats got used to sticking their paws back with him, he used to slam the door on the poor cats paws. How those cats (my cats that I have now too) can open and close door in old houses it is unbelievable. Leverage again … they just know how to use leverage to open and close old doors.
Peace.
I was just teasing you, Wini. Talk of dead prey does not bother me. I feed frozen thawed rats to snakes!!
Many years ago, I was living with a man who was a Jehovah’s witness. He did not believe in Xmas or holidays, so he did not celibrate Xmas, which was sad for me. On Xmas day he hadn’t gotten me any gifts and I was sad about it. After a while I heard this scratching at the front door. My cat, Destructo, had gone out and got me a dead bird and dropped it at my feet on Xmas day. It was the sweetest thing. She seemed to sense I needed a present. They are like little angels, aren’t they?
StarG: I know you were kidding. My bird Chucky eats chicken and turkey too. I keep telling him he’s eating his relatives … he doesn’t care. He loves the stuff … so does he love popcorn sand ice cream … he’s a sea food lover like me … sees food and eats it (LOL).
My snakes were licking their lips when you were talking about your bird.
StarG: It figures … so did my cats as they first showed up in my home. I had to personally introduce them to Chuckie so they would stop licking their lips over him. They sit on top of his cage and play with him while they are up there. He’s smart, if they get sassy with him and try to grab him … he plays the spider to the fly routine …let’s them keep sticking their paws in his cage … then he comes down out of his perch … walks across on some of the sticks that go all over his cage … then he pecks them really hard with his beak. They don’t stick their paws in there anymore. Plus he yells at them and calls them by name, which freaks them all out. Actually, I don’t know what the cats think of him … they just know he’s part of the family and they are used to him.
Peace.
LOL, somehow I think the personal introduction might backfire with the snakes. That’s adorable about the cats and the bird. I do believe cats and birds can play nice in the sandbox. I have a friend who has a bird that calls everybody an A-hole. That just cracks me up.