By Peggywhoever
Welcome to Lovefraud Land! Again, welcome. Cyber handshake.. (Smile).
This is not a vacation location. But it is a destination. You can find your path to healing here.
Tell me, you Googled the word “Sociopath.” You have just ended a most painful relationship. Or rather, THEY ended the relationship. And you are left as an emotional shipwreck.
See how many adjectives apply. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Damaged. State of Disbelief. Questioning them. Questioning you. Questioning everyone. Questioning everything. Why? Why? Why? What is going on here?
You have come to the right place. Having come out of the most bizarre, twisted and contorted relationship of your life as though you were an emotional contortionist, you will find answers. And peace.
You have been abused, perhaps for the first time, and perhaps you have a lifetime of abuse. You are in pain. You can barely function. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You feel frozen. You can barely make the effort to eat. Sound familiar? You are sick”¦emotionally sick, physically sick, sick to the core of your psyche.
Being in a relationship with a Sociopath takes everything you hold dear”¦your values, your code of ethics, your trust in love, honor, and commitment and turns them upside down. And then they are stomped on. Your body is on alert, you may have feelings of depression, anxiety, paranoia, as well as PTSD symptoms. You can barely function at your job… Your friends and family are tired of hearing your story. Nobody understands. Nobody listens. You feel that nobody cares.
Well, at Lovefraud Land, we DO care. You have friends now. New friends. People who have walked in your shoes. You have friends who will listen, REALLY listen to you and help advise you. Free counseling. Not necessarily from licensed professionals, but people who are seasoned and licensed in the game of life.
Because, to a sociopath it is a game. A one-sided game. They win, you lose. They are the victims. Always. You can never play the game right. The rules change as soon as you figure it out.
You are never enough. Were never enough. You were not bright enough, handsome/pretty enough, clever and witty enough, attractive enough, enough, ENOUGH!
It is not about you. It was never about you. It is about them. Everything, EVERYTHING about a Sociopath revolves around them. Always has, always will.
YOU WERE ALWAYS ENOUGH.
What is about you is your ”¦ well, YOUNESS! Your uniqueness. You were chosen, targeted even by a sociopath for your intrinsic goodness. Your loving heart, compassionate nature, blind trust, and helpfulness were strong factors in them choosing you as a victim.
You cannot change a sociopath. Ever. You cannot fix them. The best thing you can do is STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Always. Forever. This is known at Lovefraud Land as NC (No contact).. That means no face-to-face contact, no telephone conversations, no e-mail, no text messaging, NOTHING. Because any contact with them will only bring you pain.
Oh, and the obsessing. Thinking of them night and day. Day and night. Over and over and over until you feel like you are watching the same video in your head. And the ruminating (another Lovefraud word) ”¦ which relates to the obsessing and constantly thinking “what if” or how much you love and miss them and how wonderful they were and “what if” you had only done this or that?
Well, nothing, NOTHING you could have done would have changed anything. Or fixed anything. You are left with”¦you. And you will learn to understand yourself, and love yourself, and appreciate yourself in a way you never have before.
It is a journey, this seeking the answers, this journey of understanding, a journey torward physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Your new friends will walk with you and hold your hand.
Welcome. Welcome to Lovefraud Land. Cyber handshake. (Smile).
Peace
Peggywhoever
letting-go
INDIGOBLUE…..
you mean that article you were talking about…
Indigoblue
Dawn Please read this Love jere
Indigoblue
Yes letting go the real switch that turned my lights back on was realizing
Forgiveness does not mean no accountability and no responcability !
They will allways be responcible and accountable for what they have done to (us)
LOVE jere
letting-go
Its funny. He can’t see the pain he has caused and gets mad when I had tried to let myself heal before we rushed into anything else…he said I dwelled on the past..but he was allowing the past to continue in our present by keeping contact with the other woman knowing it would only cause more pain once I found out…and I always did. She made it a point that I found out. Prob for the better anyways, so then at least I would know. But she has lied many times to and things just got so over whelming (spelling) and out of control….I really thought I was going crazy at times with the he said she said crap. But again, he sees nothing he did was wrong.
brenda1213
any advice on how to maintain your sanity when you have children with a p? ive been to family court 2x and the judge still allows him to “pick them up at the curbside”, luckily he doesnt have them for sleepovers cause he lives in his van.
peacefulnow
letting-go,
You could wait 20 years and he will NEVER see your pain, except as a means to control you. Nothing he does will EVER be wrong. He will gaslight you as long as you let him. He is probably abusing you in ways you won’t see until you have put some distance between you and him, emotionally. You are on the right track, trying to let go. But the more you go back, the harder he wants to hurt you and control you. It’s a very dangerous game for you. You are not sick in the head, you are a victim of emotional abuse. Try googling “Stockholm Syndrome” and see if you think that might apply to you. Maybe that will help you understand. You do not deserve to be abused in ANY way. There are too many people out there who deserve your kind heart. As long as he has it, you can’t give it to someone who deserves it, sweetheart. Take good care of yourself. You are so worth it!
Indigoblue
Brenda
Welcome we are here for you ! lean on me !
Read, read ,read ,read ,read Come sit next to me and I will Hold you and tell you a story of a Tiger in a cage ! LOVE jere
Indigoblue
Daddy that Tiger looks like a great big kitty kat !
Oh No my precious child ! That is a Tiger ! and it is in a cage and If you put your hand in that cage you will get bit!
LOVE jere
maniatissa
nic:
My P ex lives across the country (the father of my 3 month old), although he is allowed generous visitation time; I have no idea if he is going to take advantage of this as he has had not contact with me since 10 days after she was born (he told us to leave)…Even though I know it is for the best, part of me wishes he would show some interest and get his act together. I guess though with these kinds of people you never know what to expect. When we do go to court soon I am requesting he have a psychological evaluation as a condition on having visitation. I doubt he will go through with it though; he’d probably rather have nothing to do with her and play the martyr and say that I prevented a relationship.
I don’t know what I would do if he did live close- it would be very hard having to see him. Perhaps you could get a different judge who would be more sympathetic to you? My ex did this as far as our divorce case goes- he ended up asking for a different judge because the one in the county we were living in was known to be sympathetic to women!
brenda1213
this tiger uses his children as a pawn to get to me, he is always in the shawdows lurking, i have learned by my experiences to NEVER let my guard down. my older child has been deeply affected by him (PTSd, extreme anger)my younger one is okay . i cant wait for the day that i never have to cross paths with him. he has truley damaged my emotional well being. My job now is to make sure that my children never get involved with p when they are adults, and to teach them that you never let anyone take advantage of you in any way shape or form.