Editor’s note: Although this post describes the Judeo-Christian scripture, Lovefraud respects and honors all religious and spiritual traditions.
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
One of my favorite books of the Bible is Proverbs, which was attributed to Solomon, King of Israel, the son of King David. Though reputedly the wisest man in the world, Solomon didn’t always put his philosophies and wisdom to good use in his own life. Nonetheless, the book does have a lot of wisdom in it, including this description of a psychopath.
Proverbs 6:12-19, I think, is a perfect description of the psychopath.
The New Living Bible translation:
12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They are constant liars,
13 signaling their deceit with a wink of the eye, a nudge of the foot, or the wiggle of fingers.
14 Their perverted hearts plot evil,Ӭand they constantly stir up trouble.
15 But they will be destroyed suddenly,Ӭbroken in an instant beyond all hope of healing.
16 There are six things the Lord hates —”¨no, seven things he detests:
17 haughty eyes,Ӭa lying tongue,Ӭhands that kill the innocent,
18 a heart that plots evil,Ӭfeet that race to do wrong,
19 a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.
Psychopathy is not something new in the world, it is just that we, as former victims or associates of these people, have become acutely aware of the evil that people can do to others. We have personally experienced the pain that comes from the betrayal of a lover, friend, family member, child, parent, or someone else who was very close to us, someone we trusted.
Psychopaths have been around since the beginning of humanity and they have preyed on others. They have risen to the highest levels as kings and dictators of countries, like Stalin and Mao, who have been responsible for the deaths of perhaps a hundred million of people, or they have simply preyed on those that were close to them. The majority of the suffering that mankind as a whole endures, both in mass and individually, is because of the actions of psychopaths.
We may not be able, as individuals, to avoid the mega-troubles brought on by psychopathic rulers, but by learning the “red flags” of a psychopath, by learning how to avoid these people on an individual level in the future, we can keep ourselves safer. We can teach others and teach our children how to recognize these evil ones, and how to avoid becoming intimate with them, how to avoid letting them con us financially and emotionally.
There are many great articles here at Lovefraud that talk about the things that we can spot in a person to see that they are possibly high in psychopathic traits. We call these traits “Red Flags,” because they signal that there is danger in the person who is behaving in that manner. If we ignore these red flags, we will absolutely become embroiled in their deceit and chaos.
The eight short verses above describe perfectly the psychopaths in our lives, who leave behind misery and pain.
The Bible (in verse 17) refers to “haughty eyes,” where in today’s language we would call it arrogance. If a person acts in an arrogant and “entitled” manner, we can see that there is a good chance this person does not value other people highly, but values himself above others.
Verse 12 calls them “constant liars,” which is pretty plain in even today’s language. People who lie continually, sometimes “when the truth would fit better,” are not people we can trust. Doing “business” of any kind with a person who is a “constant liar” is very risky because they cannot be trusted.
Verse 13 speaks about how they “signal their deceit” with a wink of the eye. They make light of their dishonesty, showing that honesty and forthrightness is not something that they value highly.
Verse 14 talks about how they “stir up trouble,” and if that is not a perfect signal, a bright red flag, that someone is up to no good, I don’t know what is. People who are “drama queens and kings” are continually creating chaos and unnecessary pain for others.
Verse 18 speaks about those that “plot evil,” which is pretty clearly something that a psychopath does. This may be something that can be observed from the way they treat others, or it may be something that they tell you about how they have treated someone else. Be assured if they treat others badly, you will eventually become one of the people that they will also treat badly, no matter how nicely they treat you today.
“Stirs up trouble in a family” is mentioned in verse 19 (“sows discord in a family”), and is particularly evident in family interactions with the psychopath, as well as business dealings and relationships with their neighbors.
When we see these characteristics in a person’s daily life, or in their past life, we should realize that there are “red flags” waving to warn us that this person, even if they do not qualify as a “full fledged psychopath,” is high enough in the traits of the psychopath that he or she is toxic to those that are connected with them. They are not worthy of our trust…even if it is just a “little bit” arrogant, or a “little bit” of a liar, or stir up a “little bit” of drama, because people who will do these things, who are dishonest and arrogant, will turn on others at their whim. Avoiding toxic and dramatic, lying and deceitful people is the only way that we can protect ourselves. We can’t change these people, any more than we can change a venomous snake. All we can do is to avoid their proximity to us, so that they are not in a position to harm us.
Our trust is something that is precious and something that we must guard by watching for the red flags in the behavior and actions of others. Guard your trust well.
The x-spath I knew had very sad eyes and a “drawn” look that was not apparent to me in person but was very apparent in pictures.
However, online, where he uses pictures that are older (so he looks younger) his eyes are classic sociopathic and he presents what is best described as a punk or even cocky look.
They are dark blue-grey and cold.
behind_blue: I know, weird, huh? It does seem they are tortured souls beneath all that sociopathic evil.
TB
that guy in the link looks a bit like my spath as well. Spath had brown eyes. The look of surprise with the raised eyebrows was a familiar one which my spath used alot. there are a few pictures of him with that expression – even one where he was 2 years old with those raised eyebrows.
Twice;
I believe that for some spaths this is the case. I don’t like to wish or even think bad on anyone, but since I have strong evidence from online that my x-spath was very much into younger guys, he looks sad in current pictures because he no longer looks the “boy” and probably fears he can’t get young guys anymore.
Skylar, TB & BBE,
I’ve never seen a picture of my spath. I didn’t know her long enough/had enough activity to take her pic. Oh, how I wish I had! She was never ‘happy’ and was negative, resentful, and just plain ol nasty. She had the ole psycho stare though…ah, well maybe we’ll get a mug shot of her some day…lol
Ana;
I only saw pictures of my x-spath because a FB friend had an open FB page. Otherwise, I would not have seen any current pics, other than the x-spath’s FB profile pic.
What happened — I was about to send the x-spath a FB friend invite but I first browsed thru his friend list. There I saw all the pics taken the weekend we met. My x-spath never told me about these pics. Since I had sent him several pics taken from our days, but none with him in them, I was offended and never sent the x-spaht a FB invite. Thank God.
Two weeks later, I found out about him.
BTW, of the pics I have seen of the x-spath online on various dating/sex sites, there *none* taken after we met and that was over two years ago.
Sky: isn’t that eerie so many have similar facial expressions/looks! 2 years old with the raised eyebrows! WOW! My X looks VERY much like the second picture[below] of this guy. Shape of head/jawline, eyes..strong facial features.
behind_blue_eyes: Ohhh, well, that would make sense, something that saddens him..yeah.
Ana: LOLOLOLOL_mug shot!!!! Good one! 😛
Twice;
Sad for him but good for the rest of the world as his predator days are numbered. But then again, sociopaths are known to have varied sexual tastes. If he can’t get a boy any more, he will probably move on to something older.
behind_blue_eyes: you know that is so true. They do move into most all areas of sexuality. Mine got into young males, I do believe. No telling what all he was and got into after I walked. I heard thru the family grapevine, “FREAKY stuff!”
Twice;
I know I messed with his head a bit because when we met, he thought I was 3-4 years younger than him, not that amount older. My guess is that he “dual targets” and strings one person along as a “soulmate” while seeking sexual partners of whatever his taste may be at the moment.
I actually remember a chilling moment when he was talking about his two young nephews, not so much what he said but his look when he talked about them. You would think that with both parents dead and no extended family, his older sister would be close to her only sibling, yet that was not the case. Perhaps she keeps distance for a reason…
For certain there he has a sexual past he does not want to talk about and I think its more than the strong evidence I have he was hiding being HIV+.