Editor’s note: Although this post describes the Judeo-Christian scripture, Lovefraud respects and honors all religious and spiritual traditions.
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
One of my favorite books of the Bible is Proverbs, which was attributed to Solomon, King of Israel, the son of King David. Though reputedly the wisest man in the world, Solomon didn’t always put his philosophies and wisdom to good use in his own life. Nonetheless, the book does have a lot of wisdom in it, including this description of a psychopath.
Proverbs 6:12-19, I think, is a perfect description of the psychopath.
The New Living Bible translation:
12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They are constant liars,
13 signaling their deceit with a wink of the eye, a nudge of the foot, or the wiggle of fingers.
14 Their perverted hearts plot evil,Ӭand they constantly stir up trouble.
15 But they will be destroyed suddenly,Ӭbroken in an instant beyond all hope of healing.
16 There are six things the Lord hates —”¨no, seven things he detests:
17 haughty eyes,Ӭa lying tongue,Ӭhands that kill the innocent,
18 a heart that plots evil,Ӭfeet that race to do wrong,
19 a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.
Psychopathy is not something new in the world, it is just that we, as former victims or associates of these people, have become acutely aware of the evil that people can do to others. We have personally experienced the pain that comes from the betrayal of a lover, friend, family member, child, parent, or someone else who was very close to us, someone we trusted.
Psychopaths have been around since the beginning of humanity and they have preyed on others. They have risen to the highest levels as kings and dictators of countries, like Stalin and Mao, who have been responsible for the deaths of perhaps a hundred million of people, or they have simply preyed on those that were close to them. The majority of the suffering that mankind as a whole endures, both in mass and individually, is because of the actions of psychopaths.
We may not be able, as individuals, to avoid the mega-troubles brought on by psychopathic rulers, but by learning the “red flags” of a psychopath, by learning how to avoid these people on an individual level in the future, we can keep ourselves safer. We can teach others and teach our children how to recognize these evil ones, and how to avoid becoming intimate with them, how to avoid letting them con us financially and emotionally.
There are many great articles here at Lovefraud that talk about the things that we can spot in a person to see that they are possibly high in psychopathic traits. We call these traits “Red Flags,” because they signal that there is danger in the person who is behaving in that manner. If we ignore these red flags, we will absolutely become embroiled in their deceit and chaos.
The eight short verses above describe perfectly the psychopaths in our lives, who leave behind misery and pain.
The Bible (in verse 17) refers to “haughty eyes,” where in today’s language we would call it arrogance. If a person acts in an arrogant and “entitled” manner, we can see that there is a good chance this person does not value other people highly, but values himself above others.
Verse 12 calls them “constant liars,” which is pretty plain in even today’s language. People who lie continually, sometimes “when the truth would fit better,” are not people we can trust. Doing “business” of any kind with a person who is a “constant liar” is very risky because they cannot be trusted.
Verse 13 speaks about how they “signal their deceit” with a wink of the eye. They make light of their dishonesty, showing that honesty and forthrightness is not something that they value highly.
Verse 14 talks about how they “stir up trouble,” and if that is not a perfect signal, a bright red flag, that someone is up to no good, I don’t know what is. People who are “drama queens and kings” are continually creating chaos and unnecessary pain for others.
Verse 18 speaks about those that “plot evil,” which is pretty clearly something that a psychopath does. This may be something that can be observed from the way they treat others, or it may be something that they tell you about how they have treated someone else. Be assured if they treat others badly, you will eventually become one of the people that they will also treat badly, no matter how nicely they treat you today.
“Stirs up trouble in a family” is mentioned in verse 19 (“sows discord in a family”), and is particularly evident in family interactions with the psychopath, as well as business dealings and relationships with their neighbors.
When we see these characteristics in a person’s daily life, or in their past life, we should realize that there are “red flags” waving to warn us that this person, even if they do not qualify as a “full fledged psychopath,” is high enough in the traits of the psychopath that he or she is toxic to those that are connected with them. They are not worthy of our trust…even if it is just a “little bit” arrogant, or a “little bit” of a liar, or stir up a “little bit” of drama, because people who will do these things, who are dishonest and arrogant, will turn on others at their whim. Avoiding toxic and dramatic, lying and deceitful people is the only way that we can protect ourselves. We can’t change these people, any more than we can change a venomous snake. All we can do is to avoid their proximity to us, so that they are not in a position to harm us.
Our trust is something that is precious and something that we must guard by watching for the red flags in the behavior and actions of others. Guard your trust well.
wow, every time I go on here, I learn abit more. Everytime I go on here, it is making it a bit easyer to distance myself from him. Thankyou for your painfull truths. Gloria.
Twice;
When I asked my x-spath about drug use, he told me he did nothing other than drink. However, two online profiles indicate he is a “recreational” drug user. Therefore, I doubt he is friends with a 22 year-old methamphetamine user into bareback sex to set the guy straight.
From a sexual standpoint, now there is nothing that would surprise me.
Duped;
I had open heart surgery myself and while symptoms began before the x-spath, that experience, imho, accelerated my condition.
Please take care of yourself but I know that is often easier said than done.
EB is right Duped! Please take care of yourself! See, the goal of the evil P is to get all the good people dead.
I relate to that evilness of being sick around the P. I married my childhood ‘sweetheart’…[-first P] right out of high school and while I was pregnant with our first child, I got VERY ill with a serious kidney infection that was not responding to meds. I was in absolute pain, throwing up blood and having chills and rigors to the point they were going to air transport me to Houston to a kidney clinic. I got so bad, I had the death vision-I’m one of those people that has almost died and had the experience of it. While this was going on, he was going with the young nurse that attended my room [found this out later, after he laughingly told me, he would just have left with her, had the baby and I died]. As I was surrendering into the death coma, I believe God spared my life. I came partially awake and the Docs rushed in and I could hear them talking…seems I was responding to whatever meds the kidney clinic in Houston had sent/recommended. My high fever was rapidly dropping and I was coming back. A few hours later, I was HUNGRY!!!! They brought me food, drinks and I was rebounding quickly. They were baffled! I was grateful! Couple of days later I was on my feet, able to go to the bathroom by myself and begging my mama for a hamburger! LOL So, we have to survive these P’s for our own lives and for the good of the world too! We can’t quit and let these wicked demons take over! â¤
BBE: Never saw my second PX drink or do drugs, but I know he was into that during the last few years before I walked and certainly after I left. I believe he was a lifelong user of pot, keeping it hidden from me. Heck, he was so crazy, how would I know if he was high???? Now, the last year, I believe he got on meth-he dropped 30 lbs fast and couldn’t do anything w/o sweating. He was always a strong male with endurance and he began to lose that. I hauled him into the Doc for help, after he showed up at my work in la la land begging for help. They put him on antidepressants [which I later found out they do sometimes to help them get off street drugs], which zonked him for weeks. He got a little better than worse again. Got sexually obsessed with teen boys/girls. The meds were the last hope I had for him. They switched them around some and tried different things, but you know, no pill is going to change a wicked heart that seeks evil and decadence. That was my last try/hope for him. I walked.
Duped and BBE-prayers for improved health and peace! 🙂
Hugs!
Twice;
Again, I learned almost everything about my x-spath from various online profiles. One had all these “matching questions” and various other tests. In all, he must have answered at least 1000 questions, which indicates spending a lot of time on this site.
This is the one recommended to me by a friend. I created a profile, answered about 100 matching questions to get started, hit the button and got a bunch of hits worldwide. On the fifth page or so I found the x-spath because I “matched” so highly with him. Of course at first I did not recognize him. I remember looking at the profile and thought it looked a bit like a younger x-spath but moved on as the person seemed “juvenile.” A couple pages on, something made me go back and I realized it was the x-spath.
At that time, site users could see all the questions a person answered, so I began answering his questions, based upon my impression of him. Guess what, the “matching score” began to decline.
Why? Because he answered positively to questions regarding drugs, kinky sex and other disturbing questions. When I changed my answers to liking such things, my matching score with him improved.
BBE-Yeah, he didn’t wear the mask answering those questions.
* Mine was working the date sites. He’s married again-but I suspect he still works them.
Twice;
Maybe he is too immature to realize that his answers don’t present him as a very nice person.
What would you expect from sombody who here lists his interests as “boys, vodka, sleep and mojo” — at least he is consistent from site to site.
BBE: LOL! What a life he leads; sounds like hell to me!
Twice;
Here is the short list of what I learned about him from those matching questions on the site. In order to be a good “match” for my x-spath, you need to:
Be willing to date somebody with a sexually transmitted disease.
Think that recreational drugs can be used to enhance sex.
Be willing to date a former sex industry worker.
Be willing to date somebody convicted of a sex crime.
Like very rough sex.
Not be concerned about somebody’s past.
Decorum does not allow me to detail some things he likes done to certain body parts…
Interestingly, and this is why I initially matched high with him, he is only interested in a serious, monogamous relationship. But of course you need to be willing to ignore the occasional drunken transgression…
BBE,
What is the definition of “occasional” drunken transgression? once a week? once a day? Three times a day? LOL ROTFLMAO