Editor’s note: Although this post describes the Judeo-Christian scripture, Lovefraud respects and honors all religious and spiritual traditions.
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
One of my favorite books of the Bible is Proverbs, which was attributed to Solomon, King of Israel, the son of King David. Though reputedly the wisest man in the world, Solomon didn’t always put his philosophies and wisdom to good use in his own life. Nonetheless, the book does have a lot of wisdom in it, including this description of a psychopath.
Proverbs 6:12-19, I think, is a perfect description of the psychopath.
The New Living Bible translation:
12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They are constant liars,
13 signaling their deceit with a wink of the eye, a nudge of the foot, or the wiggle of fingers.
14 Their perverted hearts plot evil,Ӭand they constantly stir up trouble.
15 But they will be destroyed suddenly,Ӭbroken in an instant beyond all hope of healing.
16 There are six things the Lord hates —”¨no, seven things he detests:
17 haughty eyes,Ӭa lying tongue,Ӭhands that kill the innocent,
18 a heart that plots evil,Ӭfeet that race to do wrong,
19 a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.
Psychopathy is not something new in the world, it is just that we, as former victims or associates of these people, have become acutely aware of the evil that people can do to others. We have personally experienced the pain that comes from the betrayal of a lover, friend, family member, child, parent, or someone else who was very close to us, someone we trusted.
Psychopaths have been around since the beginning of humanity and they have preyed on others. They have risen to the highest levels as kings and dictators of countries, like Stalin and Mao, who have been responsible for the deaths of perhaps a hundred million of people, or they have simply preyed on those that were close to them. The majority of the suffering that mankind as a whole endures, both in mass and individually, is because of the actions of psychopaths.
We may not be able, as individuals, to avoid the mega-troubles brought on by psychopathic rulers, but by learning the “red flags” of a psychopath, by learning how to avoid these people on an individual level in the future, we can keep ourselves safer. We can teach others and teach our children how to recognize these evil ones, and how to avoid becoming intimate with them, how to avoid letting them con us financially and emotionally.
There are many great articles here at Lovefraud that talk about the things that we can spot in a person to see that they are possibly high in psychopathic traits. We call these traits “Red Flags,” because they signal that there is danger in the person who is behaving in that manner. If we ignore these red flags, we will absolutely become embroiled in their deceit and chaos.
The eight short verses above describe perfectly the psychopaths in our lives, who leave behind misery and pain.
The Bible (in verse 17) refers to “haughty eyes,” where in today’s language we would call it arrogance. If a person acts in an arrogant and “entitled” manner, we can see that there is a good chance this person does not value other people highly, but values himself above others.
Verse 12 calls them “constant liars,” which is pretty plain in even today’s language. People who lie continually, sometimes “when the truth would fit better,” are not people we can trust. Doing “business” of any kind with a person who is a “constant liar” is very risky because they cannot be trusted.
Verse 13 speaks about how they “signal their deceit” with a wink of the eye. They make light of their dishonesty, showing that honesty and forthrightness is not something that they value highly.
Verse 14 talks about how they “stir up trouble,” and if that is not a perfect signal, a bright red flag, that someone is up to no good, I don’t know what is. People who are “drama queens and kings” are continually creating chaos and unnecessary pain for others.
Verse 18 speaks about those that “plot evil,” which is pretty clearly something that a psychopath does. This may be something that can be observed from the way they treat others, or it may be something that they tell you about how they have treated someone else. Be assured if they treat others badly, you will eventually become one of the people that they will also treat badly, no matter how nicely they treat you today.
“Stirs up trouble in a family” is mentioned in verse 19 (“sows discord in a family”), and is particularly evident in family interactions with the psychopath, as well as business dealings and relationships with their neighbors.
When we see these characteristics in a person’s daily life, or in their past life, we should realize that there are “red flags” waving to warn us that this person, even if they do not qualify as a “full fledged psychopath,” is high enough in the traits of the psychopath that he or she is toxic to those that are connected with them. They are not worthy of our trust…even if it is just a “little bit” arrogant, or a “little bit” of a liar, or stir up a “little bit” of drama, because people who will do these things, who are dishonest and arrogant, will turn on others at their whim. Avoiding toxic and dramatic, lying and deceitful people is the only way that we can protect ourselves. We can’t change these people, any more than we can change a venomous snake. All we can do is to avoid their proximity to us, so that they are not in a position to harm us.
Our trust is something that is precious and something that we must guard by watching for the red flags in the behavior and actions of others. Guard your trust well.
Twice Betrayed:
Wow, what an encounter!!! I feel slimed just reading it! Glad you got out of there fast!
TB, WOW!!! RED BANNERS WAVING AWAY!
First off I think that the man was trolling for kids, and was probably a pedophile. To advertise for “perfect for kids” when there was water all around the place that a kid could drown in…and secondly to “share” a kitchen?????? DING!!! DING!!!!! DING!!!!
Yea, I probably (back then) would not have “reported” it either, but NOW I DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE….Once 8-10 years ago, I came on a car with a toddler in a car seat locked inside on a HOT DAY and no adult anywhere. It took me 15-20 minutes to locate “mommy” and I NICELY told her that her child was in danger and she screamed at me and went to the car and left.
TODAY: I would call 911 immediately, and then while I had 911 on the phone, I would reach into the back of my pick up, get a tire iron and break out a window of the car to get to the child.
I have started to look at things entirely differently than I used to, now that I have realized how I “minimized” BAD behavior in the past, and how I MINIMIZED my gut instincts….
I no longer accept bad behavior and I no longer allow myself to diminish my instincts or to “explain them away.”
Hi Constantine ~ Just here reading a little and to answer you…
No; I have not broken NC. I just hope my temper cooperates. 🙂 You are correct, I know you are. About the ‘attention’ thing…
Negative or positive, it’s attention and it’s not worth it.
I have been disciplining myself to GIVE ME the attention instead!
Hope you are well and doing alright.
In fact, I hope EVERYONE here is doing alright this day.
I have been very busy with my avoidance behaviors.
OX: I know what you mean: “I no longer accept bad behavior and I no longer allow myself to diminish my instincts or to ‘explain them away’.”
Well, I got the not accepting bad behavior part down really, really, WELL but the ‘instinct’ part, I am working on. There is NO explanation for the crap we have been put through. Just acceptance and choices and action.
I am learning ~ learning to not be so nice anymore.
I don’t know if I like that feeling…
Take care you guys ~ have an awesome weekend.
DUPEDSTER
Ox: Well, how cool is that! You have an ox named Jim! LOLOLOL! You are just the coolest character chocked full of wisdom! ♡ WAYYYYYYYY cool! 🙂
I know, Ox, I am the same way. Things change after we live awhile. We know those little ‘pings’ mean something and signify deeper issues. That’s terrible to leave a child [or animal] in a hot car!!!!!!! They can die pretty quickly!
Louise: funny thing is: I have forgotten a lot of things and this has been almost twenty years ago, but this guy’s face is clear in my mind. Looking back and knowing what I know now, he had P eyes. I’ve come to be able to recognize those eyes/stare. My PX’s eyes in later years had started to become reptilian and I thought this long before I read any material. I’ve also noticed in dark eyes, the pupils seem to become almost invisible.
Duped: I’ll tell you how I let that instinct roll….it’s kinda like an animal…I get a little twitch right behind my ears and my eyes kinda move to the left…and my brain goes; “uh oh…” 🙂 But, I had to become ‘aware’ of that.
I was walking out in the woods behind the barn with my son D one day a while back and we came upon a rabbit that was grazing in a clear spot. We were being followed by some birds as well, and one of the birds chirped and “warned” the rabbit that there was someone approaching…D and I stopped and watched the rabbit’s response to the bird’s calls…how he looked around while he sat frozen, wondering if he needed to head for cover. D and I stood very still and he finally decided it was “safe” to go back to eating, but when we moved again, the birds called to him and he scooted away though he actually never saw us I don’t think.
When we become AWARE of the “chirps” all around us that signal “DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!” we should not minimize those warnings. Sometimes we can not put our “finger on” what the danger is, but we should still be VERY CAREFUL where we step!
ps TB—“Jim” has gone to that great “Barn in the Sky,” but he will always be one of my favorite creatures! I picked that photograph because it is one of my favorites and I wanted a pix of the “Ox Drover” rather than just a face shot.
Ox: I LOVE that and ALL animals stories! That made me smile! 🙂
It’s amazing how the creatures communicate with one another. I saw a squirrel dead in the road by my house, guess it was hit by a car, although not torn up. Poor little guy. I went on to work and when I was returning for lunch, I stopped my car! There in the road were two live squirrels dragging their dead buddy off the roadway! AMAZING! I thought to myself, “Dear God, why me? Nobody will believe me, as much as I love animals, they will think I made it up.” But, so help me, it’s true!
“Danger, Will Robinson!”…..AHAHAHAHA! Lost in Space!!!!!!!!!
You are right, we may not know what it is…but that little ping needs to be heeded. I HEED! 🙂
Jim is in the big barn in the sky! AWWWWWW! I’ve got some horses running in those green pastures! â¤
Dear TB,
Yea, the comment about your horses in those pastures made me “tear up” thinking about old “Jim” he and his partner, “Red” were my first pair of Highland Oxen (working steers) and I had so much fun with them!
Ox: I think of my black horse Black Velvet and his buddy Renegade-over the rainbow bridge. I understand, Ox! Those were my daughter’s first two horses. I loved them. One is buried right outside my window here and one is buried at her house.
Those must have been cool oxen! Makes me think of Paul Bunyan and Babe!
Hugs to you, Ox! â¤