In my post last week, I referred to an article on Salon.com called, Facebook status: In a scam relationship. The article starts with an anecdote about a guy who met a woman on Myspace. She supposedly lived in Ghana and proclaimed her love, then told him a hard luck story. He sent her a total of $14,000, even though they never met. The person did not exist. The guy was scammed.
After relating the anecdote, the article stated, “He’s a victim of what’s called ”˜love fraud.’”
I had two reactions to that sentence. The first was, “Wow—”˜love fraud’ has entered the lexicon.” The second was, “This writer doesn’t get it—love fraud is not limited to cyber scams.”
Then, a few days ago, I received an inquiry from a television talk show producer who is considering doing an episode about “love fraud.” He Googled, “love fraud,” and of course, immediately landed on this website and blog. He too, however, seemed to think that love fraud was limited to fake romances conducted over the Internet, which turn out to be money scams.
It’s time to set the record straight.
When I learned that my ex-husband, James Montgomery, was a sociopath, and that millions of sociopaths were out in the world putting peoples’ lives through a meat grinder, as had happened to me, I realized that the public needed to be educated. Although I was in the midst of my divorce and couldn’t immediately embark on an education program, I decided that I would eventually build a website.
So 12 years ago, on August 7, 1999, I reserved the domain name, “Lovefraud.com.” If you want proof, check the Who Is information.
Lovefraud.com launched on July 20, 2005. Our logo is trademarked. “Love fraud” is my term. Therefore, I will define it:
Love fraud is the intentional exploitation of an individual through manipulating emotions and trust in a personal relationship. The exploitative relationship is frequently romantic, but can also be between family members, friends and associates. The relationship can take place in real life, or exist only through communications media. The people who engage in love fraud are sociopaths.
For years, I’ve heard from people who want to tell me about their “love frauds.” In fact, I have collected more than 2,500 cases of people who tangled with sociopaths. Yes, I’ve heard about online scams. But I’ve also heard about betrayal by high school sweethearts, long-term spouses, family members, first dates, co-workers and business partners. This type of exploitation is widespread. In fact, it is epidemic.
So to all you bloggers and journalists who are suddenly interested in love fraud—this is not just an online money scam. Love fraud occurs any time a disordered individual uses a personal relationship of trust for the sole purpose of exploitation. Unfortunately, it happens much more frequently than most of us realize.
((Joanie))
they all seem to have it. It’s part of the sickness and the hatred for their own mothers. Even BBE’s gay friend had it, because he was looking to BBE for a respectable BF so he could cheat on him with the sluts on the dating sites.
That really is the part I’ll never get: the need to live dual, triple, quad, or whatever lives.
Why can’t they just choose one identity and BE IT? Like normal people? WHY?
Skylar;
You are right on so many point: no limits. That was my problem, when I had limits, I did OK. Then I stopped limiting my losses, thinking the stock would rebound the next day, It did not. If a 5% loss became tough to swallow, 10% is not any easier.
And these are not speculative stocks. I moved away from these into solid S&P 500 companies. The problem is, since these had done so well over the last couple of years, for long holders a 10% or 15% loss is easy to swallow, and many began dumping such stocks at the slightest sign of weakness.
But if I kept to my limits, cut at 1% loss and don’t hold overnight, I would not have lost so much. The important thing is, like you said, its more of an ego hit and when and if the economy rebounds, even passive investing will make that back. For now, the smart thing is to stay away until we see job creation (good luck there) and economic growth above 2% for consecutive quarters.
The political situation did not help matters. I am fed up with both sides. First, we have a reality that for the immediate future, this country needs to borrow money otherwise there will be financial disaster. However, in the long term we need not only to reduce spending meaningfully, and increase revenue. No matter what some say, our problems cannot be fixed without increased revenue and by the standards of developed nations, the tax rate in the USA is excessively low.
Dear Sky,
Price of Bacon? Can’t eat it on my low salt diet so don’t even look, but if I could eat bacon and ham, I’d raise a pig and butcher it myself….much cheaper and not the problem of wondering what it died from! LOL
My X P-BF’s wife of 32 years was a school teacher and also well known in their little town, on the board of directors of the local bank, and RESPECTABLE—and he wanted that so that HE thought HE appeared respectable because she was his wife. It was odd and caused me to notice it because when he would come visit me and we would go to the local country store everyone greeted me and he kept commenting on how the local people all seemed to know me and “respected” me in the community. In my living history group in which he had been a member for 10 or more years as well, everyone in the larger group knew me as well, it was kind of hard NOT to know who the Ox Drover Lady was since I usually had 4,000 pounds of oxen on my heels, can’t “sneak around” like that! LOL
Newsflash!! Ox goes out to dinner and starts a stampede!
We used to keep a pig. We had one called Hammy ( I know that’s sad). They do say if you are going to eat it, then you should not name it. Anyway, Hammy loved to play football with the kids, he was a real character. When it was time to have him butchered we cried! He was chopped up, put in the freezer, and you know what…….I never did eat one damn slice of him. Just could not bring myself to eat him. (actually think he was a she)
Have you ever tried to inject a pig? Wow, that is one tough job.
I don’t eat much meat these days. Had salmon for lunch with leeks and sweetcorn – very yummy.
Candy,
LOL “ever try to inject a pig?” It’s like trying to give a pill to my 6lb girl cat. I told the vet “I’m sorry, but it can’t be done” : )
Ana – meooooooooooooow.
My in-laws raised a pig for slaughter and named it “breakfast.”
This way when they were ready to eat it it already had it’s destiny!
I have posted elsewhere on LF .. possibly on a different thread, possibly not .. I posted as a professional musician, that MUSIC is VERY HEALING, after an experience with a SPATH. I received positive feedback from that blog. Well…yes..music IS healing, though, too often the FEMALE artists who compose songs, aired in national media, though recognized on a broad scale, for their talent.. well.., too many others never hear those HEALING TUNES, or MISS the underlying MESSAGE in the songs those female artists wrote. Another healing song for me was one written by Jonatha Brookes (of the group or album “Story”), “Angel in the House” .. I think she emotes..RIGHT ON THE MARK..about the DAMAGE done by sociopaths. Listen to her and that tune, on YouTube, if you have not heard it yet.
Hi zimzoomit! Hope you are well and doing alright.
I tried to find that tune you were talking about and can’t. Hmm…maybe I am being dupey dupedster again! 😉 I shall keep trying. It sounds very interesting.
Music IS healing and music is something I have had a difficult time letting back into my life after almost five years of not listening to it. It’s amazing to me how I just PUSHED it out of my life. Thing is: it keeps my brain ‘on go’ and often drudges up some very horrible feelings inside me. So, I have learned that no music and not much t.v. helps me tremendously control my PTSD. Strange; isn’t it? Something so wonderful as music and I can’t even let THAT into my world right now?
Hope you have a good weekend zimzoomit. xxoo
Dupedster
Zimzoomit,
I actually have that CD! It’s The Story…geeez, it’s old! lol
I must have bought that back in the 1990’s..maybe ’95, THANKS for the memories!