In my post last week, I referred to an article on Salon.com called, Facebook status: In a scam relationship. The article starts with an anecdote about a guy who met a woman on Myspace. She supposedly lived in Ghana and proclaimed her love, then told him a hard luck story. He sent her a total of $14,000, even though they never met. The person did not exist. The guy was scammed.
After relating the anecdote, the article stated, “He’s a victim of what’s called ”˜love fraud.’”
I had two reactions to that sentence. The first was, “Wow—”˜love fraud’ has entered the lexicon.” The second was, “This writer doesn’t get it—love fraud is not limited to cyber scams.”
Then, a few days ago, I received an inquiry from a television talk show producer who is considering doing an episode about “love fraud.” He Googled, “love fraud,” and of course, immediately landed on this website and blog. He too, however, seemed to think that love fraud was limited to fake romances conducted over the Internet, which turn out to be money scams.
It’s time to set the record straight.
When I learned that my ex-husband, James Montgomery, was a sociopath, and that millions of sociopaths were out in the world putting peoples’ lives through a meat grinder, as had happened to me, I realized that the public needed to be educated. Although I was in the midst of my divorce and couldn’t immediately embark on an education program, I decided that I would eventually build a website.
So 12 years ago, on August 7, 1999, I reserved the domain name, “Lovefraud.com.” If you want proof, check the Who Is information.
Lovefraud.com launched on July 20, 2005. Our logo is trademarked. “Love fraud” is my term. Therefore, I will define it:
Love fraud is the intentional exploitation of an individual through manipulating emotions and trust in a personal relationship. The exploitative relationship is frequently romantic, but can also be between family members, friends and associates. The relationship can take place in real life, or exist only through communications media. The people who engage in love fraud are sociopaths.
For years, I’ve heard from people who want to tell me about their “love frauds.” In fact, I have collected more than 2,500 cases of people who tangled with sociopaths. Yes, I’ve heard about online scams. But I’ve also heard about betrayal by high school sweethearts, long-term spouses, family members, first dates, co-workers and business partners. This type of exploitation is widespread. In fact, it is epidemic.
So to all you bloggers and journalists who are suddenly interested in love fraud—this is not just an online money scam. Love fraud occurs any time a disordered individual uses a personal relationship of trust for the sole purpose of exploitation. Unfortunately, it happens much more frequently than most of us realize.
candy
Hey Hens – Are you maintaining duckie support payments?!
behind_blue_eyes
Hens;
I was simultaneously victim to an spath relationship and an spath employer. Talking about never being the same!
But I cannot let it get to me.
MoonDancer
Hi Candy – No, I think they all went to duckie heaven…How are you doing Candy? It is 108 degrees today and supposed to get hotter, maybe even break an all time record, my swimming pool feels like a hottub…
MoonDancer
BBE – My spath bf is what opened my eye’s to all the spaths around me ~! I was swimming with shark’s, they kept me subdued until one sharks mask slipped and then BAM it was time for me to get out of the water or get eaten…
When I say I will never be the same, I mean that in a positive way, I swim alone but dont fear being somebodys lunch bucket..
Ox Drover
They did NOT ALLL go to duckie heaven, I still have 4 girls and 2 boys that the coons and possoms haven’t gotten yet. They are all shedding their baby feathers and getting new grown up feathers. Soon we will have eggs though.
I felt like octo-mom there for a while….but we ended up with six….but you know, I think by “doing it myself” I ended up with a cost of about “$50-75 per duck” (at least) and I could have bought them already grown up for $5-10 per duck! LOL But it has been fun being a “surrogate mother” and “carrying the eggs” in the incubator and then mothering the babies….I was never able to find a place that would accept the FUNNY money that Hens sent for “support”—-if I didn’t know better I’d think he was a psychopath the way he sends fake money to support his duckie children. LOL ROTFLMAO And he hasn’t visited them even once! Oh, well….like the Octo-mom, I will just get me a reality show, and you can call me the “Sexto-less-mom” ROTFLMAO
behind_blue_eyes
Hens;
I agree. I am now very cautious and I obey by red flags!
candy
Hens – Noooooo not duckie heaven!
I’m doing ok thanks. Had a blip last night when I found out he was living just down the road. It gave me a jolt.
It’s probably about 10 degrees here (for us that’s warm!) 22 degrees is HOT. You lucky thing…..having a hot tub!!
candy
Sexto-less-mom – So pleased that duckies are doing ok. Well done for raising so many successfully. Profit isn’t everything and it sounds like you’ve had great fun along the way.
Hens – This would really make a Jerry Springer special.
Ox Drover
LOL ROTFLMAO “Jerry Springer special” me and Hens doing a DNA test to see if he is the real STEP FATHER LOL Oh, Candy, thanks for my first BELLY laugh of the day! I needed that.
MoonDancer
miss ox I wud hang on to that funny money, it mite be worth more than real money very soon..