In my post last week, I referred to an article on Salon.com called, Facebook status: In a scam relationship. The article starts with an anecdote about a guy who met a woman on Myspace. She supposedly lived in Ghana and proclaimed her love, then told him a hard luck story. He sent her a total of $14,000, even though they never met. The person did not exist. The guy was scammed.
After relating the anecdote, the article stated, “He’s a victim of what’s called ”˜love fraud.’”
I had two reactions to that sentence. The first was, “Wow—”˜love fraud’ has entered the lexicon.” The second was, “This writer doesn’t get it—love fraud is not limited to cyber scams.”
Then, a few days ago, I received an inquiry from a television talk show producer who is considering doing an episode about “love fraud.” He Googled, “love fraud,” and of course, immediately landed on this website and blog. He too, however, seemed to think that love fraud was limited to fake romances conducted over the Internet, which turn out to be money scams.
It’s time to set the record straight.
When I learned that my ex-husband, James Montgomery, was a sociopath, and that millions of sociopaths were out in the world putting peoples’ lives through a meat grinder, as had happened to me, I realized that the public needed to be educated. Although I was in the midst of my divorce and couldn’t immediately embark on an education program, I decided that I would eventually build a website.
So 12 years ago, on August 7, 1999, I reserved the domain name, “Lovefraud.com.” If you want proof, check the Who Is information.
Lovefraud.com launched on July 20, 2005. Our logo is trademarked. “Love fraud” is my term. Therefore, I will define it:
Love fraud is the intentional exploitation of an individual through manipulating emotions and trust in a personal relationship. The exploitative relationship is frequently romantic, but can also be between family members, friends and associates. The relationship can take place in real life, or exist only through communications media. The people who engage in love fraud are sociopaths.
For years, I’ve heard from people who want to tell me about their “love frauds.” In fact, I have collected more than 2,500 cases of people who tangled with sociopaths. Yes, I’ve heard about online scams. But I’ve also heard about betrayal by high school sweethearts, long-term spouses, family members, first dates, co-workers and business partners. This type of exploitation is widespread. In fact, it is epidemic.
So to all you bloggers and journalists who are suddenly interested in love fraud—this is not just an online money scam. Love fraud occurs any time a disordered individual uses a personal relationship of trust for the sole purpose of exploitation. Unfortunately, it happens much more frequently than most of us realize.
KatyDid
Okay Oxy
You can be the sexto less mom and I’ll be the sex less mom…
Ox Drover
Hens, you got that right! Us folks on Social Security didn’t get a raise cause they SAID the cost of living didn’t go up….yea, but GAS is a dollar a gallon higher—so I guess it just means that UP is NOT UP according to the politicos. LOL Up now means the “same”—just like CLINTON DID ***NOT*** have SEX WITH THAT WOMAN! LOL ROTFLMAO
I have a wall behind my desk that has my favorite things pinned to it, and those $3 dollar bills with Obama’s face in the middle is pinned up where I see them every time I sit at the computer.
I also have a bumper sticker that says “of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most” (that was one of my husband’s favorite sayings) I have other things that are funny or remind me of something I loved or laughed at. Anything I think I want to keep like that, I no longer put in a drawer or a box, I take push pins and hang it on my wall. To heck with the holes in the sheetrock! The egg donor would NEVER put a thumb tack or a push pin in her wall, but heck, it’s MY WALL, and my stuff so if I want to pin it to the wall, I WILL….boy, am I living dangerously in my old age!
KatyDid
Oxy
You’re breaking the rules! I use my wedding dishes for every day meals. And I use linen cloth napkins for everyday, not paper towels. Took the plastic off my couch. I LAY DOWN on my couch with my FEET ON THE COUCH. LET’s break MORE RULES!!!!
Ox Drover
Yea, KD, that’s me, the old rule breaker! I’m breaking a LOT of the egg donor’s rules now! It’s called FREEDOM!!!! I figure at my age I’m entitled.
KatyDid
Oxy,
Yes…. my ma’s first rule was to submit. I broke that one. ma’s second rule was a corollary, to be like her. I broke that one too. I think the only rule of hers I didn’t break was milk before tea.
TOWANDA! FREEDOM!
skylar
OMG, you both have ODD!!
You’re SCARING ME!
MoonDancer
lol this reminds me of the time my N mother said she would buy me some new cushions for my lawn chairs if I would not let my wiener dogs get on them…I said I dont want cushions my dogs cant get on..and she got mad and went home….lol
KatyDid
ODD? Yes. I have been told I was odd. It is milk b/f tea. Perhaps you take it with lemon?
KatyDid
Hens
I have a new dog. It’s from the pound. I have nice things. The reason they are nice is b/c I take care of them. So just like when I had a kid, I manage. I don’t have to put in electric plugs and door guards, but I do put a sleeping bag on my car seat b/c my dog rides with me. I also covered my chenille chair and put washable slipcovers on other chairs and the sofa. But I will say this about my dog and my family. My dog is cleaner, has better manners, is appreciative, never steals, and keeps great sleeping hours.
ps My new lawn cushions cost only $8 at Ross….
MoonDancer
Katy — Oh a new pooch ~!, what is it’s name? I hope it can get on your 8 dollar cushions…