It could be argued that the sociopath is cynical: contemptuous; mocking; concerned only with his own interests and typically disregarding accepted or appropriate standards in order to achieve them – the opposite of idealistic.
And there is a danger that one who has learned the hard way about sociopaths becomes jaded: dulled, blunted, deadened, inured; tired, weary, wearied; unmoved, blas̩, apathetic Рthe opposite of fresh.
The online version of the Guardian newspaper runs a series in which readers provide their responses to ‘Ethical conundrums’. Given the nature of our interests on this blog, this one caught my eye: Is it worse to be cynical or jaded?
One reader’s response captures the issue I raise above (our key terms inserted):
A jaded person [someone who has fallen for a sociopath] has loved and lost. A cynic [sociopath] has never loved at all.
Another provides some clues as to how come the sociopath and his or her victim get together in the first place:
I don’t like either alone, together though: the jaded person before becoming jaded makes friends with a cynic and then they both have a great time. So long as the cynic enjoys the doses of optimism and doesn’t get annoyed by them. And the optimist doesn’t become disillusioned by hanging out with the cynic. Because that would be boring, pointless and gloomy. Cynics and optimists together can be really proactive and make great company: CAN be…
Or not, right?
One reckons that positivity can turn into negativity, but seldom the other way round:
Pessimists tend to become cynical, as they tend to believe the existence of a hidden motive. Optimists, with experience, tend to become jaded, as the world falls short of their expectations. Jaded people tend to become cynical, but cynical people rarely end up jaded. So, being jaded is kind of the scenic route to cynicism.
One reader sees the merit of cynicism:
Cynicism is essential for surviving this lousy superficial society. Being jaded is the result of being insufficiently cynical.
I was tickled by this one:
Someone who’s jaded hasn’t lost the will to change, they’ve just lost the means….Polish the surface of a jaded person and you’ll find they’ll come up good as new.
As we get a new year underway, what are your thoughts?
Ox Drover
Dear One/JOy,
It is the pits living in a hostile environment—and I am like you in some ways very sensitive to NOISE POLLUTION…I remember living in apartments with nasty neighbors and no way to move…been a while but I can remember the frustration.
I remember when I was preg with son C I had to get up and pee frequently during the night…this one woman up above me complained to the land lord about me flushing the toilet at night…we were having to move anyway, but hateful me at 2 a.m. the night before we moved out I put an avacado seed in the dispose-all and turned it on! Sounded like a helicopter reeving up to take off with only one blade whomp, whomp whomp!! Showed that witch not to fark with a preg woman who was sleep deprived herself! LOL BOINK! BAAAAAAD OXY, but that was over 40 years ago so I wouldn’t do that NOW! LOL Yea, right. I wouldn’t do that now! hee hee
Ana
Oxy!
that is hysterical! I have been working so much, and just reading here and commenting once in a while. I saw that you wrote your back is out….go get a MASSAGE!
Have you “seen” LL lately? I don’t see her here much anymore. Hope you back feels better. If you need some stretching tips let me know…I’m also a yoga teacher.
Nice to see you.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
dear ana and oxy – i am sitting in the kitchen working on something for my community garden and i hear ‘whomp whomp whomp’ oh gross – seems the db has sex on the long weekend.
i just took my little radio in there, put it’s speaker against the wall and turned it on – hahha they are playing paul anka….snort giggle (the db works for a heavy rock radio station. bwhwhhhwwwaaaa)
the idea of that guy having sex grosses me out like nobodies business – i know him to be an aggressive, manipulative, self centred, bullying, angry moron – I so don’t want to hear that sex.
Ana
One Joy,
UGH! So sorry you have to listen to THAT. LOL Paul Anka that is PERFECT! snort!
Ox Drover
Dear One/Joy,
Don’t you have a dispose-all or an avacado seed? LOL SNARK SNORT! Paul Anka might be a good second though! LOL Yea, listening to someone else’s bed go whomp, whomp whomp is pretty disgusting.
Dear Ana, well, glad I could give you a good laugh! Yea, my back is much better, actually. Just a strained muscle I think, no pinched nerve or anything serious…just getting old I think! I’m being good to myself, doing stretching, wearing my back brace some (not too much to weaken the muscles) and doing a little self massage—wish I could go get a real over all massage, though!
Don’t work too much, take care of Ana!!!! (((hugs)))
one/joy_step_at_a_time
hehe- no avacado and no garbage disposal – not only do i hear the bed – i hear HIM. that’s how i know JUST how selfish he is – i NEVER hear her.
you ever tried rolling around on a tennis ball oxy? don’t know the nature of your injury, but sometimes that really helps me get some relief with back strain. another (odd and ancient technique – i know of it through tibetan medicine) is to use a 2″ stick and just tap (as hard as is comfortable) all over the body – starting with the extremities and working your way in. This always helped me with firbro pain, and now i use it on my back and shoulders. in fact, after stooopidly spending 5 hours in the garden, think i will go whack my back for a few minutes.
Ox Drover
Dear One/Joy,
I have some masagers I can use and I also use an ice pack, and have been using the back brace (corset type) so that I “log roll” at night instead of twist as I turn over in bed and that helps. I use stretching exercises too. I think the worst of the problem is over now, but the pain was so intense I was actually afraid I might have done something “worse” than just a strain but that is all it seems to be. I checked it out with my doc, I had an appointment made before the back even started hurting so I just added that into the office visit. She gave me some muscle relaxers if I need them and a few pain pills if I need them but so far just one day for either of them and I’m okay. Just a bit stiff.
In fact, son D and I walked about a half mile down into the pasture to get the cattle up, the most gentle cow will follow you into hell for a slice of bread so I got her to follow me and the rest followed her….then got the one we wanted (she has been sold to go to the butcher) into the corral and into the trailer. It was so wet we couldn’t get the trailer into the corral except by pulling it with the tractor. So I walked quite a bit today and it didn’t seem to be a problem. I was actually glad to get rid of this one heifer as she is “high headed” and not friendly at all…my 3 old gals are former show heifers so are sweeties, but the two younger heifers were not halter trained, and the one is/was a spooky witch that is likely to hurt you…so she needed to go to that great barn in the sky! Besides, I need the money!
Well, I’m gonna go to beddie by for the night. YOu guys keep it between the ditches…and crank up paul Anka! LOL
hens
Paul Anka? oh my, no wonder you single..
one/joy_step_at_a_time
hens – LMAO! (if only laughing would actually work in that way…)
Paul was on the radio – just a moment of great fortune on my part. hope it bugged him. My downstairs neihgbour seems to be gone for the weekend – i never want to bug her, so i had the opportunity to do this tonight.
hens
well between your paul anka and oxy’s alvacado story i really lol tonite oh my……
Oh my just remembered something – i used to chat with a guy years ago when i had AOL…well he thot LOL was “lots of love’ it broke his heart when i told him it was laugh out loud….lol