When women are sociopaths/psychopaths

Nearly all of the research into sociopathy has involved evaluating the personality traits of adult men in prison. The reason for this is that researchers have easy access to adult prisoners and more prisoners are male. Think about it—how else would a researcher find sociopaths to study? The problem with studying sociopathy in male prisoners is that we learn nothing about sociopaths who never get arrested. We also don’t know if the research results apply to women.

There is actually very little research data available regarding sociopathy in non-criminals and in women. The little research that has been done reveals that sociopathy in women entails two or three main features that are similar to those found in men. Namely, female sociopaths lack empathy and enjoy manipulating and exploiting others. Violent and impulsive behavior is less common in sociopathic women. This fact may make them more dangerous, as they more easily blend in with the rest of society.

The key traits of sociopathic females

A recent study of adolescent girls in detention performed by Crystal L. Schrum, M.A. and Randall T. Salekin, Ph.D. of the University of Alabama and reported in Behavioral Sciences and the Law, revealed the core qualities that best described young female sociopaths. The teens were callous and lacked empathy, had a grandiose sense of self worth and were conning and manipulative. They were also likely to engage in impersonal sexual relationships. Importantly, the researchers revealed that female sociopaths did not necessarily have “shallow emotions.” Again the lack of impulsivity and shallow emotions may make a female sociopath more difficult to spot.

Please read the true Lovefraud story of Michelle Drake. Notice that female sociopaths victimize other women as well as men. This vignette illustrates many of the core qualities of a female sociopath. As I read this case, I was painfully reminded of the male sociopath who was once part of my life; so perhaps the similarities between male and female sociopaths are more important than the differences. What struck me about the story is the elaborate con she perpetrated for really very little money. This case illustrates something truly amazing about sociopaths—the degree to which they derive pleasure from conning others. Their hoaxes are often outlandish and grandiose.

A friend of mine, who was once in law enforcement, says that conning is the sociopath’s profession and that that he/she may not even do it for the money. Conning is instead the work they have a passion for. As my friend says, “When a sociopath wakes up and opens his eyes in the morning, it’s show time!” I can envision Michelle saying that to herself as she donned the fake pregnancy costume.

The public and the courts are sympathetic toward female sociopaths

The case of Michelle Drake also illustrates something else about female sociopaths. The courts are more likely to go easy on them. This attitude of the courts may reflect the fact that many people excuse the behavior of female sociopaths and feel sorry for them. Look at the cases of women in the news lately. We don’t know if the women involved are sociopaths, however, these cases do illustrate the double standard that exists in how we judge female as opposed to male antisocial behavior. Several women teachers have been found guilty of sexually exploiting students. They were treated very leniently for the same crimes that would have put a man in jail for many years.

The NASA astronaut arrested for attempted murder is another example of the way people treat women differently and don’t take their crimes seriously. This week, a restaurant owner in Florida held a benefit night to raise money for the astronaut’s family. News commentators have been quick to voice sympathy for the astronaut, yet I have not heard a one express sympathy for the victim. I remind you that it is alleged that the astronaut sprayed her victim with mace and planned to kill her.

In conclusion, sociopathy is less common in women. Women who are sociopaths may not appear as shallow as men who are sociopaths. They are also less angry and impulsive compared to men. Although violence is less commonly perpetrated by women, if you are the victim, these statistics don’t matter.

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144 Comments on "When women are sociopaths/psychopaths"

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Hey Guys!!! I joined because I am scarred as hell. Dont know what to do or look for. I am dating a young lady Rose.. her sister warns me literally everyday that she is a social path. She gives me names of people and what she did. I bring them up to Rose and she says that they are completely untrue. She has admitted to having a few guys in her life. No biggie right? Then I talk to there mother who I am close with also. I take her home to pick up some clothes and me and her mother talk and she tells me I need to watch out for her daughter. I am about to leave then mom approached Rose about what she has done to guys. They get into it >> ( fast forward ). As I am about to leave Roses mom starts crying and is telling me that she is a bad person. Roses sister and I are best friends. Have been for years.. Any traits or experiences you guys can fill my in on that I can look out for so I don’t f*ck myself over.

Thanks Guys

Dear Match1,

Welcome to Love fraud. I STRONGLY SUGGEST though that you edit your post and remove your private e mail address.

As far as advice on Rose—–RUN RUN RUNNNNNNNNN away from this woman as fast as you can. If both her mother and her sister have warned you about her, what are you waiting for?

Good luck. Hang around here and read articles in the arichives and learn about psychopaths. God bless.


First….please delete your email…..go to the edit function and take it out. We can all respond to you here.

Second….I am going to assume you have read all of the comments from survivors who have debated about warning….to warn or not to warn…..and how the ‘warning’ has been received.

Okay…..so mom and sister have given you info……WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING STICKING AROUND WITH THIS GIRL FOR???????
You said yourself….you don’t want to fuC& yourself over…..
Well……your gonna!

There is NOTHING you can do to change this girl, head off her behaviors or anything else you can do to avoid her wrath of hurt you have been warned about.


Her own mother and sister……HELLLLLLOOOOOOO.

They have given you a gift……if you choose to take it, you will do yourself great honor. If you return it to sender…..you;ll find out soon enough….the HARD way. ( and I assure you….when you have your ‘aha’ moment…you will wish you would have taken their gift)….
There are NO awards for being with a sociopath. Trust me…..only pain, destruction…..and the long process of healing and picking up the pieces.

Get out!

In the meantime…..stick around LF….and read our stories and the articles. It will give you good insight on what could be in your future.

Welcome to LF….I hope for you…..you can gain enough education to make the best decision for yourself.

ErinBrock,OxDrover – Thank you so much for your reply’s!! I have read all of the post when I found the site. The only thing I can relate to thus far is the animal like sex? I read all the tell signs and the one that I picked up on is that she is impulsive? She pays for her own stuff and does everything she can for me. So I am very confused they are telling me this but she is so nice its kinda hard to believe. I only know about one guy recently but she left him? The main reasons why her family warning me is because apparently she had sex with people when she was single when she did. Which to me is really not a big deal. Anything I need to look out for. Sorry if I sound completely stupid in the matter but I want to make sure I don’t lose a good thing.



match – you say her sister is a friend of yours, and that you are close to her mom also. how long have you known these folks? do you know THIER reputations? If they have good reps and don’t exhibit signs of sociopathy themselves – then i would take the risk of ‘losing a good thing.’

you have to know – spaths can look like the BEST people to us – it’s called the ‘lovebomb.’

be careful.

Let me start out by explaining that I am a very easy going person and I hate confrontation. So, I guess I was a prime target for the psychopath where I worked. I had never been around anyone like her before.

The new Park Manager had no morals, so when SS was hired as an office clerk, she was comfortable in her new home. Prior to that time, she had worked at a prison and often talked about it as being a place she enjoyed working. The only thing she didn’t like was the structured environment. (I have often wondered if she willingly left that job.) Others told me, she had not been able to keep any other job.

SS started trying to manipulate me into letting her have her way soon after she was hired. She would tell me what a great job I did, even though it was obvious she had no knowledge of the type of work I did. She tried to convince me that we shared like interests and even went so far as to claim to know members of my family, my wife’s boss, and pretended to have had conversations with my wife. All were lies made without so much as blinking an eye.

When that didn’t get the results she wanted, she started flirting with me. She openly stated that her marriage meant nothing to her. She used her kids to talk about herself; it was never about them. When I tried to remind her she was married, she let me know that she was going to do what she wanted. She had no respect for anyone. She was very aggressive when it came to getting her way.

SS was an ugly woman, grossly overweight with no redeeming physical characteristics. She was jealous of anything that might take attention away from her. She disliked other women and tried to convince the men at work that she looked better than them. She even went so far as to run down a new born baby to us. Even though she had a huge flat butt, she wiggled it in front of me and tried to get me to compliment her. I didn’t. The worse she got, the more I tried to avoid her. Each time she pulled something, I would walk away and hope she got the hint that I wasn’t interested. She never did. As soon as I would get one thing stopped she would try something else.

It wasn’t long before she was trying to find ways to be alone with me. She tried to force her way into going with me (I was often in inaccessible areas of the Park.) I let her know I wasn’t going to take her with me, but that didn’t stop her from trying to get the manager to make me take her. I refused.
It wasn’t long before she started trying to corner me at the office and talk about sex. She would be talking about something innocent and suddenly tell me she was good in bed, or that she liked to look at men’s penis’s and watch them masturbate. She blatantly propositioned me on more than one occasion. Each time she would pull this, I would quit what I was doing and leave. I thought surely she would realize I wasn’t interested. But she never stopped. I started trying to completely avoid her.

No matter how many times I stopped her, Stephanie continued to get worse and worse. When it became impossible to corner me at the office, she started showing up where I was working and even at the shop during my lunch hour. She brought a meal for two and tried to get me to share it with her. I ignored her then eventually had to confront her and had to make her leave.

A week later, she overheard a conversation between the Park Manager and myself and thought she had found another way to be with me ”“I was able to stop her before she had a chance to further her agenda.

Even when I refused to speak to her, she pursued me. Eventually I had to confront her and tell her to leave me alone. I was very clear and laid out exactly what I wouldn’t allow. I told her any dealings she had with me were to be kept strictly professional. I tried to do it in a way that would cause the least amount of drama, and still get my point across. I explained that her actions were causing gossip and that I didn’t want my family embarrassed by the gossip. She told me she didn’t care how anything looked, what anyone thought, and that no one was going to tell her what to do. In fact, she continued to argue with me until I finally told her she was acting like a bitch in heat.

By the next day, she had twisted that conversation to mean that my wife was jealous of her and told my boss that my wife made me call her that. (Of course I didn’t know this until some months later when I got my personnel file. During the meeting she hinted I had problems at home, but there were no open accusation against my wife.) My boss said that my calling her a bitch in heat could be considered sexual harassment. I told him I hadn’t called her anything but said that was how she was acting towards me. It soon became obvious that she was trying to get me to back down from my stance. I didn’t.

After thinking about some of the things she had said during the meeting, I decided to confront her one final time the next day. I wanted it clear that I wasn’t going to put up with anything else from her. At the final meeting, she once again tried to get me to back down. First she told me that they had tried to get her to file a complaint against me, but she wouldn’t do it. Then she started talking about the divorce rate in prison, and how wives couldn’t deal with their husband’s work. At the time, I couldn’t fathom what she was talking about; I didn’t work in a prison. Then she asked if I was sure that was all I wanted between us? I told her that I meant what I said, any dealings with me were to be kept strictly professional. It wasn’t until much later, that I realized she was suggesting that I divorce my wife.

Once it finally became clear to SS that I had drawn the line and she wasn’t going to be able to manipulate me, she decided to get even with me. After 16 years of a perfect record I was fired. Even though I got my job back, I couldn’t stay there.

One more thing I need to add is that I wasn’t the only one she made sexual advances toward at the park. A few Park visitors said they would never be back because of her. I overheard her teasing one male employees about being a minuteman in bed, found notes to the manager telling him he was full of snot, but not in his nose, listened to complaints about her and another employee being locked in the office during office hours, and refusing to open the door, etc. It seems as if I was the only one to see through her, or at least the only one that objected to her actions.

I was raised to respect women and treat them like ladies. This one didn’t deserve it. I filed sexual harassment charges against her, but as far as I know, nothing was done. When I left the park, she didn’t stop. About a month later, we returned home from a weekend at our son’s to find a pair of her panties in our bedroom. Other things were done that left little doubt who had been there, but we asked around until we found someone who could give us a description of the persons entering our house. No one should have to put up with the unwanted and unsolicited advances that I had to put up with from this very sick individual.


This woman is something else! What I question is why your empoyer would want to keep her around – she’s bad news. You have my sympathy – sociopaths know how to ruin your day. It’s unfortunate that decent, normal people get targeted by these creatures, making life difficult.

Disgusted, you just described half the female work force where I was employed.

Thank God you got away from her clutches because, it’s all about her, her, her, her, her.

Oh, P.S. You never tell an ash hole, they are an ash hole. Why? Because they are an ash hole.


The boss saw nothing wrong with her actions. He often talked about his sister-in-law which was very much like her. when I said she had found her new home, I meant it. This was the perfect place for her to be able to do whatever she wanted… He turned a blind eye as long as she didn’t cause him problems. SS was quite good at reading others and knowing exactly how to work them to get her way. He adored SS and believed everything she said.

Before she was hired, he made it clear to everyone that there was only qualification – and that the woman hired be “wife safe” in looks. It didn’t matter to him if she could do the job, etc., as long as his wife didn’t consider her a threat, he was happy.


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