This semester I am teaching Psychology of Women at the University of Bridgeport. This is the second time I have taught this course. It is a fun course to teach because everyone likes it. This week we took up the issue of whether overall women’s personalities are different from men’s. A significant percentage of the class believes that men and women are very different in many domains and that this difference is biologic or genetic. The author of our textbook is a feminist from New York so she tends to down play any gender differences found, and she attributes nearly all gender differences to culture.
To balance the views of the textbook, I look for other articles to share with the class. This week I found a great paper, and coincidentally some interesting statistics were also reported in the news. The paper I found is entitled Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman? Sex Differences in Big Five Personality Traits Across 55 Cultures. It was just published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The results are shocking and a wake up call.
The authors found that there are significant sex differences in personality in the areas of neuroticism, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and extraversion. This means that around the world, women are more anxious/fearful, more agreeable, more conscientious and possess more positive sociability traits than do men. Of course all the sexist people in my class attribute this to an inherent biological difference between the sexes. They also expect me to agree with the biological view. After all I spent five years in a lab at Yale studying the effects of sex steroids on the brain.
In spite of my background I do not accept that these gender differences in personality result from a preprogrammed unfolding of the genetic plan. I believe they are largely culturally determined. My position is supported by the study I am sharing with you. It turns out that gender differences in personality are the LARGEST in Western countries where women have the most opportunity and the greatest equality. Furthermore, gender differences in personality around the world are due to differences in men, not differences in women.
Yes, that means that America and Europe lead the world in producing men who are fearless, disagreeable, lacking in conscientiousness and positive sociality. This is very important to us because these are the very personality traits that are associated with sociopathy (See Are they just evil people?).
The study found that communal, trusting cultures produce men who are more androgynous in their personalities. The men from communal cultures are more fearful, more conscientious, and more prosocial. Fearlessness, is perhaps the most important temperamental trait leading to the development of sociopathy. Furthermore, smoking among women around the world is associated with the largest sex differences in personality. This is interesting because maternal smoking has been linked to sociopathy in offspring (see Maternal smoking linked to sociopathy in Offspring).
So how do we put this all together? I think maleness and the hormone testosterone make boys more sensitive to early environmental experiences. If boys are raised in a loving environment, where social bonds and self-sacrifice for the family are strongly encouraged, then they will grow up more loving and prosocial. If boys are raised to be independent and look out for number one, they are more likely than girls to develop antisocial attitudes. Add to that, the effect environmental toxins have on impulse control and you have an explanation for the high prevalence of sociopathy in our society.
That brings me to the news this week. According to the Pew Center on the States Public Safety Performance Project , 2,319,258 adults were held in American prisons or jails at the beginning of 2008. This means that 1 in 30 men between the ages of 20 and 34 is behind bars. Since 80 percent of those in prison are sociopaths, nearly 3 percent of the young adult male population is a jailed sociopath. In spite of this the crime rate remains stable due to the many who are not in jail. To read more see MSNBC.com. What percentage of the total young adult male sociopaths are in prison anyway? If you guess 30 percent, that means a sizable percentage of young adult males are sociopathic. We just don’t know.
These statistics are a wake-up call for us all. The practices and beliefs of our society are leading to more sociopaths being formed than would otherwise be formed. We need to rethink our values and our child rearing practices. We need to say strongly that it is very important for boys to grow up possessing the capacity for guilt and empathy. We need to stop believing that dominance and competitiveness are the most important personal qualities to possess. We need to stop conditioning boys to be callous by bombarding them with violent entertainment.
Furthermore, we need to provide our children with a safe clean environment. That starts by eliminating smoking in women of child bearing age and telling teen aged girls they have a responsibility not to start smoking. If teen aged girls start smoking, it is unlikely they will quit in time to prevent exposure of the unborn. In some segments of our society, up to 30 per cent of pregnant women smoke.
Women can sit around complaining that there are not enough “good men” to go around. Or, they can do something about these issues so that future generations will not face these largely preventable social problems.
Wow Liane, what a powerful message! Thanks so much for sharing your learning and your insight.
What a stunning thought — The practices and beliefs of our society are leading to more sociopaths being formed than would otherwise be formed.
The fact that these are ‘preventable social problems’ puts us right back where we belong — turning up for ourselves and our children. Creating a world we can live in, not one that’s killing our spirit.
Question: Which communities were communal? What attributes do they possess that are lacking in our society?
Thank you!
ML
I am sure you are not saying that it’s women’s fault in any way that there seems to be a shortage of good men in our culture.
Many times though, I have thought that our culture does not produce good men. The messages we get as women about body image and expectations hurt women and men. Men start to get addicted to these images and start thinking “I can only love a girl that looks like THAT!” (pant, pant, pant) BLECH! In fact, a know a woman who was dating a guy who she seemed to get along with so well but finally he admitted that he just couldn’t take the relationship further because she didn’t look like Sandra Bullock. GROWN MEN SAY THESE THINGS! Whatever buddy! Take a look in the mirror!!!
Anyway, I have long felt frustrated that some how I am not hot enough or whatever. I am a very casual person and I don’t like to get all tarted up to go out and meet men. HAHA!
I am actually putting a little more effort in wearing nicer things but I love flip-flops… hence, Hawaii. But now that’s gone. I still have a wardrobe of flip flops and summer clothers. Winter is hard to get through. :o)
Aloha………. E.R.
Dr. Leedom,
Another statistic that I have noticed is the rise of teenage births, and the lack of fathers’ in the homes of many children. I don’t think the lack of a father is the CAUSE of sociopathy in these children, I think it is a symptom of the sociopathy of the fathers.
I realize that many young males so are sociopathy sire manyy of these children, then move on, to sire more from another young woman.
With the “average” family having 1-2 or at most 3 children, and you look at the young women who are starting to have children at 15, 16 yrs old and having 1-2 children sired by a sociopath who moves on, then she has successive children by the next one, etc. so that she may have 3-4 children, or even 5, all sired by sociopaths.
Since she has little or no education, and lives in a “bad neighborhood” where there are many sociopaths congregated, the chances both genetic and environmental that a majority of her children will become sociopaths would be obvious to me.
I recall a 15 year old pregnant girl, whose boyfriend and the father of her child was having affairs with several girls at the same time. This young woman was very happy to be pregnant as it would show “John” how much she loved him, and he would love her more than the others as she was “having his child”—that woman now has 4 children by 4 different men, most of whom I would calculate from their criminal and other behavior that are sociopaths.
I realize that this is not “scientific proof” of anything, but I have seen countless young women in the same situation and I believe that there could be a “trend” there.
Also, much of America was settled by people who were encouraged to be independent and to think for themselves, the Scots-Irish, the Irish, the Germanic people etc. and especially in the Scots-Iirish (my family back ground) there was a great deal of alcoholism, which in some cases can be associated with sociopathy. Violence was common among these fiercely independent people. The sterotypical “red neck” who drives drunk, beats his wife, etc. is not sterotypical because it is not observed frequently, it is sterotypical because it is COMMON among this group (and believe me I come from a Scots-Irish red-neck back ground so I am not slurring some other ethnic group) I am simply observing the worst of my own group.
I recently read a research book on the character of the “Johnny Reb” soldiers as demonstrated by the letters that they wrote, and the author did I think a good job in presenting the character and beliefs and behavior of various groups–the Scots Irish, the American Indians, the Germans, and the “elite” in their beliefs and behavior during the war.
Many of the loosely organized gorilla raiders were bands of outlaws and sociopaths if ever there were any. These men were not controlled by the amry of either country, but instituted a reign of terror on the population, robbing and killing both their own people and the enemy.
In a book I researched and wrote on my local history for my county showed that there was documentation for many men who were from “good families” who rode with these groups, changing sides as was convenient, and pillaging their neighbors at will regardless of which side these neighbors were on.
Since we do know that socipathy/psychopathy is somewhat heritable, and also influenced by environment, the offspring of these men would have the “double whammy” of both genetics and environment (and a culture of independce and violence.)
My own grandfather was born only a few years after the civil war, and grew up in the reconstruction (which lasted until the 1950s here) and as a young man was a heavy drinker and he and his brothers were quite violent…as an adult, he realized that this was not a life style that he wanted and quit drinking completely and was not violent with anyone that I ever knew, and not with his children…yet his son was a psychopathic monster. His wife’s father was also a psychopathic violent alcoholic…and that line (maternal grandmother) can be traced back to a long line of psychopathic violent alcoholics, and enabling women.
Yes, there is some culture and environment in it, but I think the propensity of many sociopaths to produce more offspring than “normal” people has some contributing factor as well.
I would like to see a study of diagnosed criminal psychopaths and how many children they have (that they know about). I think the results might be very interesting. Except for a few like my son who went to prison before they had much of a chance to sire children, most of the “friends” of his that I also think are psychopaths all have 2-6 chldren by several women.
There is one study that estimated that up to 25 percent of children in a Brittish neighborhood were fathered by sociopaths.
The record numbers of teenaged and unwed mothers is very worrysome to me. I would not be surprised if 25% of the teenaged and unwed mothers in this country did not have children sired by sociopaths. FAthering children and going to jail seem to be “rites of passage” for certain segments of males in society today, and having a “love child” by these young men seems to be the female version of the rite of passage.
While I would not wish a “stigma” attached to any child because of his/her birth situation as in the past when a child was labeled a “bastard” which followed them for the rest of their lives–especially in rural cultures, but at the same time there seems to be no community stigma toward any young girl who has a child out of wed lock, or several children out of wed lock. The number and growing numbers of grandparents who are raising children from unfit parents, and parents who simply abandon the children for someone else to raise is also disturbing, though I am glad that those grandparents at least try to raise these children.
In the rural health clinics though, I have seen grandparents, and even great grandparents trying to raise 4-5 or even 6 young children from their drug addicted or sociopathic and/or criminal grandchildren or children. It is I think in most cases better than the “system” of unstable foster homes, but still leaves a great deal to be desired.
When I worked in a mental hospital, most of the patients we had were NOT psychotic, but the children were mostly “conduct disorder” children, many who were adopted by good parents, but genetics seemed to play a part…I have noticed now that the medicos are starting to recognize that there is an “adoption syndrome” of many of these youngsters who are availabe for adoption come from situations where one or both of the biological parents is personality disordered, and a greater percentage of them follow in their biological parent’s footsteps even with almost “ideal” adoptive homes.
A 10-year-old child that will burn the house down on your head without any concept or remorse and that cannot be left alone is a terrible burden to a parent who chose to raise this child, not realizing that the child they chose was not a “blank slate” on which their love could write a wonderful life.
The suffering of both the child, the parents, and society by the propogation of the psychopaths and other disordered people to me is a “silent” epidemic….and unfortunately, most people do not realize such epidemic is the case, and think only drug control, alcohol control, or tougher laws will “fix” it.
I think there needs to be an educational program about the “psychopaths next door” so that people can be forewarned that not all psychopaths are Ted Bundy or Charlie Manson. What other things could turn this tide socially, I wish I did know the “answer” (if there is one).
Having given birth to a psychopath, who was raised with love and care, who had every opportunity to turn out to be a “good” man, if I had known then what I know now, I doubt that I would have chosen to give birth to biological children. My non-psychopath son who has no biological children of his own has now chose to not have biological children.
My adopted son who also has at this point no children, and comes from a family that is not psychopathic or seriously disordered at all, is quite “leery” of any woman he dates at this point. He broke off an enagement with a woman who after getting to know her and her mother realized that she and her mother were both disordered…though it broke his heart to do so, as he loved her very much. He is a bright young man and will choose a life mate with his head as well as his heart, for which I am quite glad. With a 50+% divorce rate it is enough to make someone think twice about getting married if they don’t want to end up a single or divorced parent with only part time “visitation” for their children.
I also in retrospect realize that I somewhat “neglected” the needs of my “good son” because I was so wrapped up in trying to “save” the psychopathic one. I kept thinking that there was some “magic” phrase or thing I could say or do that would “make him see” what he was doing to himself.
I realize now that the pain and chaos that has reigned in my life for the last 17+ years due to my psychopathic son (though I never bailed him out of jail, or paid his fines or the consequences of his crimes) never the less I enabled him because of my toxic malignant HOPE that I could save him, and his manipulative and toxic interactions designed to “con” me.
I pray for those parents whose children are born from a sociopath, and who are required by the law and courts to allow the children to interact with the sociopath, I pray for those young mothers who have given birth and have “no clue” that they have put their children at risk for a lifetime of pain, and themselves at risk for the pain that being the parent of a sociopath brings.
When my son killed the girl he murdered, I would gladly have changed places with the mother of the girl, and had my son dead and her child in prison for doing it. It would have been less painful for me (as awful and as selfish as that may sound) but now, my son is “dead” to me as much as if he had stopped breathing, and total NC is the only way I can deal with the grief. The delightful and bright young child that he was until early puberty set in is no longer “there”–and the man who is in prison is not “my son”–
Yes Liane, I live in the UK and there is a huge number of teen mums. Infact I live in an area characterised by teen mums (they call it ‘sink housing estates’) and feral children – one of the reasons I want to move away – constant low level nuisance behaviour that disrupts peace. Here in the Uk, local housing is still given to young girls with children – so a carrot to get pregnant – the state picks up the tab.
My ex N’s best friend (a physically abusive man) fathered 6 children by 6 different women and doesnt support any of them. Another red flag (why has he a best friend like that?) ( know now.
Three days ago I spoke with a woman who lives on the estate next door and she said the same as me. We hate it when the sun shines and the summer comes, because many of these feral children come out and are up to mischief. We love the rain and the dark nights because it keeps them in. I have kept a log of what has been going on and it runs into pages. I even confronted a group of males from 6-16 about harrassing me and my property and they dont care a jot. Since my encounter with my exN I now have a sense of what I am dealing with and realise it is much more pervasive in the community. Problem is that there isnt community here anymore. That was society’s strength (I used to be a community worker), the women and men would come out and stand together. Now people are too afraid to receive the abuse and stinging attacks that these children retaliate with. The local authorities are impotent when it comes to doing anything as they know that they have to house these people somewhere else and they just move them around. It is the minority, but they cause such trouble.
There was a programme of prevention of teen pregnancies, I had a friend who ran a course, but it hasnt worked. Some young people and children are out of control and I have spoken with their parents (waste of time) who seem powerless. There have also been parenting classes and ‘anti social behaviour orders’ dished out, but the newspapers here are constantly reporting the appalling deeds that some of these children are up to. I am not saying that the kids have PD’s, but together with the fact that children seem to think they have the rights to do what they like and in an over indulgent society – these are certainly the ingredients which could foster PD’s.
On my other blog to Swallow, I said I have my house for sale and am planning to move out of the area to get a better life even to the extent of leaving my daughter behind (she doesnt want to move out of the area) a big sacrifice for me, because she is my only and I am on my own. Things are very tight here in the UK, economically and housing wise, but I am still thinking of the advert I saw ‘believe in better’.
Beverly, I agree that the sense of “community” even in the country is eroded a great deal since I was a child. I am fortunate that there is some sense of community left here where I live in the rural central south US, but it is also going, and probably within the next 10-20 years will be completely gone.
The inner cities are going to the Ps as others get up and leave for safety, and even some of the bedroom communities are becoming over riden with the “feral children”—that is really a great (though very SAD) description. Sometimes I think it is like the book “The Lord of the Flies” which depicted children left on a deserted island without any adults.
Interestingly enough, in Africa when they were relocating adolescent elephants, they became violent and would pack up and kill rhinos just for “sport”—after they brought in adult males to socialize the adolescents, that violent gang behavior stopped. So I actually don’t even think it is just a human thing, I think it is some need for socialization from adults in many species on what is acceptable behavior.
I think in gang behavior the meanest biggest P is the “leader” manipulating the non-P children into evil deeds, anti-social behavior and criminal behavior until they accept that as “Ok” when they are praised by the “leader.”
On an evolutionary level I would think where resources are scarce, food for example, the hypersexuality and the lack of conscience would be benficial to a P “spreadiing his genes” but in a civilazied society it doesn’t play as well, I think, for the community and society, yet it continues to spread due to some of (I think) social policies that you discussed.
I saw a very sad cartoon once of the “normal” people behind baracades with gun towers, but they were protecting themselves from the world.
We have enough nut cases and “survivorists” here, one recently found with a very toxic poison (racine) in his house and hotel room. While I don’t agree with their tactics I can sympathze with their fear. Fear drives some people off the edge. Having been personally pushed to the edge of sanity by the Ps in my life, and fearing for my life, fleeing for my life, I can understand very well.
Dr Leedom, could you please give the name of the study (the one about the British neighbourhood)? I’m writing a bit of fiction that is heavy on sociopaths and on the sort of housing estate I grew up on and it sounds as if it’s exactly the sort of thing that might spur me on and make some sense of my themes.
ox dover dr L: i found this blog interesting . i am from two scottish parents and you are right they drink a lot in that country my father is aheavy drinker and maybe s path not totally but some personality traits. my mother is passive and accepts everythign he does. also my father did not know his own fathr he was a father less child growing up in scottland. my brother could be a s path i know he lies a lot . my mother had a brother who was an alcoholic and lived on the streets. me i married young he was an alcoholic s path. i think i married him to get out of my home life with my parents. this mad e my life even worse. then later after he and i divorced i met the other s path n and now that is over i am alone . my sis ter does not choose good men really either i dont know wether s path or not but she seems to be the main provider which is wrong in my eyes. the husband i married came from a broken family his father cheated and left his mother to raise the children she drank a lot and he my husband ended up drinking at an early age a nd became alco. my ex s path who cam e along later. his mother and father broke up think his mother cheated, his father used drugs and drank and wasnt around much when he grew up his mother i think she smoked when she was pregnant also. he said he was left to look after his sister a lot like a carer while still a child himself. so you see the pattern, also he has an uncle who is a drug addict on his fathers side and an aunt who is a drug addict on his mothers side. so i see how it is all inherited even in my own family. it seems other mental illness is inhereted too i have a friend who has schisophrenia and his father was i think undiagnosed the same and drank to self medicate. my freind has been terribly ill and his sister also now suffers depression. it s all relevent i think woman need to be educated at school or home about choosing the right men to have children with and providing the right home life has alot to do with it,.my friends mother whos son has schisophrenia said to me she just wishes she had never married his father and done this to her children she is guilt ridden to this day and they are adults now. it is aobut choosing wisely and teaching your daughter s to see men for what they are, not what they seem or what you w ant them to be. i w ish my mother could of done this but she let my father do anything she was so passive and i grew up seeing this i thought men are all good and you let them get away with a lot. its a cycle and we have to break it to chang e the world it is very hard cause things are getting out of control in my country sooo many single mothers trying to get money from the government with fatherless children being born. society is breeding so many sociopaths no wonder we came in contact with them. but i am trying to make better choices now for me the rest of my life . thanks to you all.