This semester I am teaching Psychology of Women at the University of Bridgeport. This is the second time I have taught this course. It is a fun course to teach because everyone likes it. This week we took up the issue of whether overall women’s personalities are different from men’s. A significant percentage of the class believes that men and women are very different in many domains and that this difference is biologic or genetic. The author of our textbook is a feminist from New York so she tends to down play any gender differences found, and she attributes nearly all gender differences to culture.
To balance the views of the textbook, I look for other articles to share with the class. This week I found a great paper, and coincidentally some interesting statistics were also reported in the news. The paper I found is entitled Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman? Sex Differences in Big Five Personality Traits Across 55 Cultures. It was just published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The results are shocking and a wake up call.
The authors found that there are significant sex differences in personality in the areas of neuroticism, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and extraversion. This means that around the world, women are more anxious/fearful, more agreeable, more conscientious and possess more positive sociability traits than do men. Of course all the sexist people in my class attribute this to an inherent biological difference between the sexes. They also expect me to agree with the biological view. After all I spent five years in a lab at Yale studying the effects of sex steroids on the brain.
In spite of my background I do not accept that these gender differences in personality result from a preprogrammed unfolding of the genetic plan. I believe they are largely culturally determined. My position is supported by the study I am sharing with you. It turns out that gender differences in personality are the LARGEST in Western countries where women have the most opportunity and the greatest equality. Furthermore, gender differences in personality around the world are due to differences in men, not differences in women.
Yes, that means that America and Europe lead the world in producing men who are fearless, disagreeable, lacking in conscientiousness and positive sociality. This is very important to us because these are the very personality traits that are associated with sociopathy (See Are they just evil people?).
The study found that communal, trusting cultures produce men who are more androgynous in their personalities. The men from communal cultures are more fearful, more conscientious, and more prosocial. Fearlessness, is perhaps the most important temperamental trait leading to the development of sociopathy. Furthermore, smoking among women around the world is associated with the largest sex differences in personality. This is interesting because maternal smoking has been linked to sociopathy in offspring (see Maternal smoking linked to sociopathy in Offspring).
So how do we put this all together? I think maleness and the hormone testosterone make boys more sensitive to early environmental experiences. If boys are raised in a loving environment, where social bonds and self-sacrifice for the family are strongly encouraged, then they will grow up more loving and prosocial. If boys are raised to be independent and look out for number one, they are more likely than girls to develop antisocial attitudes. Add to that, the effect environmental toxins have on impulse control and you have an explanation for the high prevalence of sociopathy in our society.
That brings me to the news this week. According to the Pew Center on the States Public Safety Performance Project , 2,319,258 adults were held in American prisons or jails at the beginning of 2008. This means that 1 in 30 men between the ages of 20 and 34 is behind bars. Since 80 percent of those in prison are sociopaths, nearly 3 percent of the young adult male population is a jailed sociopath. In spite of this the crime rate remains stable due to the many who are not in jail. To read more see MSNBC.com. What percentage of the total young adult male sociopaths are in prison anyway? If you guess 30 percent, that means a sizable percentage of young adult males are sociopathic. We just don’t know.
These statistics are a wake-up call for us all. The practices and beliefs of our society are leading to more sociopaths being formed than would otherwise be formed. We need to rethink our values and our child rearing practices. We need to say strongly that it is very important for boys to grow up possessing the capacity for guilt and empathy. We need to stop believing that dominance and competitiveness are the most important personal qualities to possess. We need to stop conditioning boys to be callous by bombarding them with violent entertainment.
Furthermore, we need to provide our children with a safe clean environment. That starts by eliminating smoking in women of child bearing age and telling teen aged girls they have a responsibility not to start smoking. If teen aged girls start smoking, it is unlikely they will quit in time to prevent exposure of the unborn. In some segments of our society, up to 30 per cent of pregnant women smoke.
Women can sit around complaining that there are not enough “good men” to go around. Or, they can do something about these issues so that future generations will not face these largely preventable social problems.
Righteous Woman,
Those were not my comments… but, Hello! and good morning!
Beverly,
You thought I was polite? You should see what I wrote first. HAHA! I am very direct but I am learning to tone that down a little in my old age and make my insights more palatable. :o)
I don’t care to look academic. I prefer to be easily understandable. The information we have needs to be accessible to all kinds of people; we have some foreign readers too. I have not found a site that is easier to use or understand than LoveFraud.
Those comments from our “guest” were meant to look smarter than all of us. That annoyed the crap out of me! And did anyone feel enlightened or learn anything from them? I didn’t.
I got one thing out of it. Though the “guest” thought they were so much smarter than all of us, they had no idea what they were talking about.
But then again, neither do most people who simply can not grasp what we went through. (I am having one of my anxiety attacks now… ) BREATHE.
Okay. I am okay. (I hate those waves of grossness!) I guess that was an upsetting post from that person. Anytime I feel like I am talking in circles with someone, I get that wave of anxiety wash over me and the strange choking coughing thing. I hate this. I hope it will go away someday. I think it’s like cell memory or something. My body remembers arguing in circles and defending myself when I shouldn’t have to. I know that person’s comments weren’t directed at me but still, I felt offended by the dissertation. BLECH!
Aloha – Oh I know – I am sorry – that created a misunderstanding…those were quotes that I like generally – I can see how they could be interpreted as coming from you…but that wasn’t my intention. Good morning to you too… ; – )
Dear OxDrover
I agree, my explanation may have been over simplified on the prison asset of my contentions. I was actually stating ideas originally presented to me by the warden of the KSR state prison in Oldham County, Kentucky. We were discussing the paths needed in the prison system, incarceration versus rehabilitation versus catch and release. It was during these discussions that he stated that more than 50% of those incarcerated in the United States had been non-violent crimes, which were actually perpetrated because of low economic means and strengthening due to social and cultural pressures. He then went on to state that in his opinion, the prison needed to initiate psychological exams upon entrance into the system and to segregate these non-violent criminals, who do not show signs of APD or Psychopathy from the general population to increase the possibility of their rehabilitative chances. I agree though, the prison system is laden with APD & Psychopaths, and that this is in itself a disturbing trend that needs to be further investigated by psychologist and Sociologist alike. It is when people such as yourself begin to question these things that will eventually lead to the likelihood of these studies.
Concerned Viewer,
You still have more reading to do.
It is my understanding that most of the Sociopaths we talk about here are not violent. Mine hated violence. He was an ex-Minister.
Being violent is not a criteria for Sociopaths. I am not sure if that is the distinction between Sociopaths and Psychopaths. I don’t have time to look into that at the moment.. time to go to work. :o)
You still have lots of misinformation. You are basically illustrating an example for us as to why rational, normal, people get involved with Sociopaths.
Keep reading and learn.
CV,
Thank you for “toning down” your comments and being more infromational than judgmental.
As you can see, the people on this blod do not deal well with people “word slinging” with opinions.
My son is a psychopathic murderer currently incarcerated in Texas, so I have done some reseach and reading on a great deal of the social and psychological causes of violence. I am also a retired registered nurse practitioner with a wide variety of medical and psychological experience, and a heck of a lot of degrees from the “University of Hard Knocks” in post-doctoral studies. (Laugh) I am not slinging around credentials here, but to make you see that many of the people here have advanced degrees including MDs with speaialties in various fields, social workers, etc. and others with PhDs….we are NOT an ignorant blog of “man haters” or people who sling around a bunch of opinons that are not based in both FACT, RESEARCH, and LIFE EXPERIENCE.
This is probably the most literate blog on any subject that I have ever done more than just take a quick glance at. Even with my knowledge and experiences, I am not a flea on an elephant’s butt compared to the knowledge and credentials and experience of most of the people here. Some of them are so learned and knowledgable here that I am in AWE, however, that said, the purpose of this blog is to get the information, the research, down to a level that anyone can understand it in PRACTICAL TERMS.
My son meets the criterial for a diagnosable psychopath, and is also violent. I have dealt personally with other people that come darned close to “being diagnosable” but it doesn’t matter if they are OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED or not, if their behavior is “close enough for government work” then what difference does it make? Back to the duck analogy, it doesn’t matter what BREED it is, or if I can tell a mallard from a muscovie, it is still a good “guess.” So if you behave like it is a duck, you ought to be close enough.
Research has shown that psychopaths (and frankly, the possible differences between Anti-Social Personality disorder, Sociopath and Psychopath are tiny) actually become WORSE with therapy, as it gives them new tools with which to manipulate others. Their crime rate even goes up and they are more frequently reincarcerated than those that had no therapy.
I am all for prison reform, and personally I think the prison system and judicial system in this country is absolutely (well, I can’t say that word, but you get the idea)!!!!!
It is run apparently by the politically correct idiots, who have never heard of common sense. If you were TRYING to make people in prison worse (psychpath or not) then they are accomplishing that.
Plus, 20% of theprison population, or more are actually psychopaths. If they weren’t violent when they went in there, they will be when they come out.
Incarceration is a “manhood rite of passage” for certain social groups, and is “expected.” You aren’t going to get the idea across to a kid in the projects that he should stay in school so he can get a job at McDonald’s making $5 an hour when he can already at age 12 make several hundred dollars a day standing on the street corner as a look out for the dope dealers, and besides, if he doesn’t want to work for them they are likely to “capp his butt”—yea, our society is twisted, but I can’t solve all that and neither can you.
There was a time when I was about 19 that I thought I knew it all, and how to fix everything. Now that I amm 60 I realize I don’t know all the questions much less the answers. The answers that I think might work or at least help, our democratic society won’t “let me do”—the BEST thing I think that has ever been passed is the “three felony strikes and you are out”–actually IN for life. That will at least keep some of the psychopaths incarcerated for life where they should be.
It scares the stink out of me that MOST of the psychopaths that are in prison WILL EVENTUALLY be released back into society, after receiving a PhD in rage and hate. My 20+ year education in prison psychology is not something I wanted to learn but ended up learning it anyway.
The “reformation” of prisoners on the whole is dismal the way we are doing it now, there needs to be some “changes” made and the ones that have a posibility for reformatin need to be weeded out from the majority that have no hope for rehabilitation. There are some people that there is NO hope for rehabilitation and those unfortunately are the worst ones, that are the BIG cons, the Psychopaths, that can fake remorse better than the kid who actually feels it.
Until newer and better methods of determining which inmates are definitely psychopaths and which are not, we sort of have to go with criminal records. Unfortunately for every crime someone is arrested for, they get away with no telling how many. The majority of crimes go unsolved, or at least unconvicted. My son probably committed 50-100 felonies in his short (years wise) criminal career, but he only got convicted on 3.
I assume you are a young and very intelligent person, and I hope that you can go out into the world and effect some change. All of us here have tried to effect changes for the better in both our lives and the lives of our children and others. We continue to try to help and support others who are either in abusive relationships (violent physically or emotionally) or recently out of such a relationship(s). There are some common denominators in both the psychopaths and sometimes in the victims as well, and generally psychopaths choose their intimate victims just as carefully as the lions choose their prey–they pick on the ones that they think they can over come,, and they leave the others alone.
Sometimes the fact that we are open minded and caring individuals leaves us more vunerable to being prey.
I do hope that you will go to the home page and read and learn about some of these people, because chances are that you have either already dealt with one or in the future you will deal with one on an intimate level that without being forewarned, and having knowledge of how they stalk their prey, you too may become a victim and be here needing the support and counsel of others who have walked that path before you. Good luck and God bless you.
Funny thing I ran into along the way. As I was entering my daughter into crisis center. I was noticing an individual who was so intimidating, so demanding of the center personnel, that I thought he was being held there. When he walked out of the door, I thought he had escaped. I then noticed a very meek lady standing by herself, looking as her husband walked to his car. She was very likable. Very soft spoken. She admired her husband of 17 years, and had glowing things to say about him. She was particularly proud of his being a minister. She continued to praise God, and love Jesus through the whole ordeal. Her beloved husband left her standing alone with absolutely no acknowledgement of her existance. He was mean, loud, demanding, and showed no compassion for this very mild wife that he had dumped on the CSB.
Oh, as an afterthought, my daughter’s sociopath is the son of a church elder. He sings in the choir, and my daughter has been counseled by the women to obey her boyfriend. “He has weaknesses”. His weaknesses include armed robbery(37 years) drug dealing, drug usage, auto theft, child abuse, doesn’t work, demands her entire check when she is paid, won’t buy her necessities (feminine products), rapes her, beats her, psychologically abuses her and his son, charges her for transportation, eats all the food and leaves the house for her and the son to fend for food. I read that these people do gravitate to the church, because they enjoy the flock mentality. They are comfortable with women who accept this behavior because their belief system tells them everything will be ok. That belief system is not written on the bottom of the dumpster. The last thing many of these women see. I’m sorry for the sermon, but my daughter’s life is at risk every day she is with this maniac. I don’t have much patience for the people who find it in their best interest to run away from the victim. I’ve been there done that. I don’t see it as an option for my relationship with my daughter.
My son’s father (The S), his mother is a minister, and she is also an S. I think it is common. Which is very sad…”Not written on the bottom of a dumpster” is hilarious.
Dr. G-
How are you helping her?
And how are we hurting them?
Your daughter is an adult choosing to endanger her child, unless she has a sub IQ.
Dear OxDrover,
Very true. Very well spoken. I would propose that the summation of it all comes down to the fact that the United States Prison System is a multi-billion dollar business, which does quite well by not bettering the human condition.
Dr. G,
My heart goes out to you with the grief and fear you must be suffering for your daughter’s safety. My son was the psychopath rather than the victim, but I think the feelings of helplesness and pain are pretty much the same, we have a child that is either in danger from themselves, or from someone else. Or both.
It took me many many many years to realize that there was nothing I could do to make my son “see” what he was doing to himself, and unfortunately, if you are able to make your daughter “see” what she is allowing her psychopath to not only do to her but to her son, it will be a miracle of PArting the Red Sea proportions.
The biggest frustration I used to have in working with the women at the abused shelter was that they would invariably GO RIGHT BACK to the abuser. Quite frankly, I felt very much superior to these women because under NO circumstances would I allow my husband to beat me and so on. I was very self-righteous, HOWEVER, by the same token, in my own self-righteousness I was ALLOWING MY SON to do the same thing…DUH. It finally dawned on me that not only was I no better or smarter than these women, I was self righteous as well, and arrogant.
Just as my son made his own choices to do what he does, your daughter is unfortunately making just as poor choices. Her reasons may be different, but SHE choses to stay with him in spite of all he has done to her and is doing to her.
I suggest that you go to an Alanon meeting, because it is made up of others who are trying desperately to keep a family member from either destroying themselves, or letting someone else destroy them.
My mother is a victim of the psychopathic grandson, but she DOES NOT want to be saved. When I tried to save her when not only he but his “cohorts” were stealing money from her, drugging her, and I have no doubt that when they got all their “ducks in a row” they would have killed her for her money, but she FOUGHT ME TOOTH AND NAIL, and in the process she got deeper and deeper into their trap, both financially and emotionally.
Yes, she is a victim, but she allows herself to be a victim, EVEN KNOWING, ADMITTING AND ACKNOWLEDGING that her grandson is a murderer, etc. and tried to kill me, she refuses to “give up on” him, and only because she has only one other grandson, my son C, who tells her, if you enable him any more, you will never see me again, does she not enable him to victimize her or the rest of us.
Believe me, I understand totally why you are scared to death, worried to craziness about your daughter, and feel that you are between “the devil and the deep blue sea”–that no matter what you do, nothing helps.
Please believe me when I say that you are not alone in your grief or worry or pain..God bless you,, there are good Christians who do not believe that God or anyone else thinks it is good or wise to submit to abuse. That isn’t what the Bible teaches, it is only how they twist it. You and your daughter will be in my prayers.