Anyone who is interested in the topic of domestic violence should read Why Do They Kill? by David Adams. The book describes Adams’ detailed interviews of men who were convicted of killing their partners, and women who were victims of attempted murder.
The breakthrough here is that Dr. Adams’ findings are in complete agreement with those of Dr. Dutton. There is now little doubt that terroristic batterers have psychopathic personality traits.
Because David Adams’ findings are so important I want to summarize them here, then so as not to throw too much at you at once, next week I’ll relate these findings to psychopathic personality traits and explain why I would call these individuals “sociopaths”.
First, both Dutton and Adams are clear, violence and emotional abuse occur in the context of one person attempting to control another. So they are similarly motivated”¦ The motivation is control.
According to Adams, violence happens because the perpetrator wishes to punish the victim and others in her life. That reason was given by 95% of victims.
All relationships started with a “honeymoon” where the perpetrator’s true character was not apparent.
All perpetrators who killed or attempted to kill their partners threatened to do so prior to the act. On page 200 of the book, specific threats and the context of these threats are listed for a number of victims. Adams believes that the threats facilitated perpetrators psyching themselves up for the act.
Access to firearms was a leading factor in murder and attempted murder. Adams recommends we address the issue of firearms in the hands of these men.
If you are reading this and have been involved with a sociopath who has threatened to kill you and has access to weapons you are in a very serious situation. Though most people in your situation are not killed or nearly killed, all those killed or nearly killed come with these risk factors.
Next week: How is killing connected to the other aspects of sociopathy?
EB – i live in a small town, but i will find out about court here…’cause if i decide to go see the ppaths case (if it makes it to trial) i wanna be in gooood shape.
One:
I too live in a small town…..this trial is not in my town, but within a reasonable distance…..and WELL worth the drive!
I’ve attended small claims hearings in my town and some ‘minor’ criminal cases as they are all heard one day a week.
In district court or family court I have to drive. It’s a different ‘ball game’ down there.
Here it’s less formal, there it’s much more formal and you get the ‘real’ court experience.
From metal detectors to sheriffs security in the courtroom/house….to judges in robes, to Da’s in suits to actual witness stands to testify and jury seats. TV’s for evidence to show the Jury and the observers.
Justice court is less formal and they don’t hear larger cases.
Either one…..I recommend …..BOTH would be great.
and Btw….the only ‘office’ i’ll run for is LF HOMELAND SECURITY…..
🙂
EB,
OK. About your book….
damn…are we going to need new passports?
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i have given evidence in court, and sat through the trial for the young man who stabbed and nearly killed my best friend and her family – that was underwhelming. and the outcome was a crock of sh**.
Silver…..
Yeessss?
One….
I’m sorry….I forgot that ‘little’ detail….
BUT…your resourceful and I know you’ll do what ya need to!
Networking is a great way to ‘go’…..yeah…..buy the crime reporter a cup o java and a nice chat…..
i need advice.
a friend i have felt quite shut out by in the last months wrote me a quick email yesterday asking if we needed to talk. i said yes. i saw her today socially – and then she shoots me a very defensive/ offensive manipulative email – only a couple of lines.
her email: So I guess the next question is whether or not either of us wants to talk about it. I am going to assume by your response, or lack of, that you don’t want to.
it made me feel sick.
i haven’t felt that since the spath and the N ex.
i don’t know what to do with this.
it’s post spath learning. if it makes me feel sick…..then i should….? i don’t want to deal with people who make me feel sick. ’cause i don’t want to feel sick.
i am willing to let this friendship go. and i am willing to talk. BUT NOT to be f***ed with. i have no heart for fighting, no heart for other’s offensive, controlling or manipulative maneuvers.
OH…I gotta tell ya….this was HILARIOUS…
talk about networking….
As I entered the second security screening yesterday…..the sheriff ravaged my briefcase….in there I had my book on CD THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR.
He pulled it out and was VERY CURIous….waved it around, and it started up a convo. about SOCIOPATHS! HA!
Never planned on that…..as we went through security I held up the line talking about SOCIOPATHS and CLUSTER B’s.
Encouraging everyone to go home tonight and google SOCIOPATHIC behaviors……
Each time we took a break, the sheriffs were chatting with me about sociopathic behaviors……I related my opinion on the defendants behaviors (documented)….and another defendant Darrin Mack’s behaviors…..and then my life living with a Cluster B……and how they affect those around them, and legal system yadayada.
It was classic!
So when I went into the courtroom and the reporter came and sat down in the next seat my purse was still open with the CD on top. She immediatley looked down and said OH…..and made comments on it and then looked at me and said….ARE YOU….(meaning the person on the live court blog making comments about sociopathic behaviors) and I smiled and said YES!….the trial started, and she left prior to trial conclustion to do a broadcast, but I plan on coversing with her more on this topic at some point!
One:
When things in ‘real’ life trigger us…..we must evaluate ‘why’.
What is it…..
You said you saw her socially today…..my opinion is if you both knew you needed to talk prior to your social meeting….that would have been the time for you to bring it up.
It sounds to me that she opened the door in her first email…..and maybe she expected YOU to bring it up at the next meeting…..you didn’t, she is frustrated.
I’m not so sure eliminating everyone from our lonely lives is productive.
I don’t get the impression she ‘shut you down’.
If this is an unhealty relationship…..then re evaluate….
But….judging by this occurance…..I think communication is key.
We can be way hyper vigilant with our peeps we let in….we need to find a balance with our peeps too.
Self preservation can also be Self destructive……
Take a breath! You don’t need anymore drama in your life than necesary!
XXOO
EB
DONNA…
Guess what I’ll have in my briefcase next week as a conversation continuance!!!!
🙂