Why I wrote ‘The Muslim Romance Trilogy’

 By Juliet Montague

Parts one and two of Juliet Montague’s Muslim love story trilogy.

Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement?

Not Without My Dogs

I had not before kept a detailed diary. Looking back at previous journals, one would simply find a note here and there reflecting a doctor’s appointment, a luncheon date, an audition, a listing appointment, a reminder to call my mother. My realization that I was into something profoundly foreign, intriguing, and sexually awakening, I began documenting each and every phone call, text message, and encounter with my own personal Aladdin.

I had truly never been in love before. Four happy marriages and four easily forgotten divorces, in my sixtieth year—and my fifth year of celibacy—I had signed up to find my soul mate for $29.95 a month on Match.com. And that is where HE found me: a lady twenty-two years his senior; a retired court stenographer now actor, comedian, dog lover, realtor, who lived alone.

My impeccable sensibilities told me No! and I refused to meet Ali for a drink. His initial Match.com love-bombing emails tempted me. He was Persian, a graduate of UCLA, his father a retired military officer still living in Tehran, Iran. Ali was an American citizen, having arrived in America with his mother at the age of seven. His emails continued with reassurance that our relationship need not be just about sex: Couldn’t we at least be friends? We have a lot in common.

Agreed to meet

When I finally agreed to meet, I was particularly bemused by my own self-assurance and gaiety about the entire upcoming experience. At the cinema complex, I waited patiently. The patience dwindled when I realized the movie was about to start. And then he was there, his floppy black hair flipped over a corduroy cream jacket collar. He had me at “Sorry, I’m late,” a recurring Middle Eastern theme. It would be the first and last time he told me he was sorry.

His gentle hand at the small of my back, he lead me into the darkness. And while I innocently took in a movie, buttered popcorn and a coke, he cautiously took me in.

Within the span of a one hour-and-forty-five minute film, during which Clint Eastwood entertained us with his crotchety portrayal of a widow who enjoys popping Pabst Blue Ribbons on his worn porch, Ali gave me signs, clues, and outright warnings as to his personality. He asked for a kiss to calm my nerves to which I silently declined. Dropping my buttered fingers onto his hardened crotch gave me a bit of a shock, but I handled it with the experience of a gal who had said No many times before, long ago in the backseat of parked cars.

Should have walked home

I should have walked home from that first date—I live just three blocks from the cinema—but his BMW with the clean smell of cream leather invited me in. Over a glass of Merlot, Ali shared the cultural highlights of his Islamic upbringing.

Muslim men always pay. I am your husband when I enter your house; I am no longer your husband when I leave. We can be good together for at least five years, when I must marry and have my children.

That evening, I giggled inwardly at his presentation of Life with the Muslim. Clean-shaven and with hairless arms, Ali was adorable. He was light skinned, just tall enough, and stared at me with penetrating black eyes, never taking them away as he titillated my senses with the promise of a harmless Magic Carpet Ride.

I was sixty, wrinkled but attractive, and fifteen pounds overweight. The Homecoming Queen of 1965 sat there smitten as a kitten with a fresh ball of fuzzy yarn to play with. I hadn’t enjoyed this much schmoozing over my vulnerable insignificance since husband no. 4 tried to run me off the road.

I had no idea I was about to break my own heart.

The Muslim Romance Trilogy

Why did I write The Muslim Romance Trilogy? Written from the gut, in the dark, and when no one was watching, I was destined to tell the story of the obscure emotional and sexual bonding with a sociopath that had crippled me, drove me away from my children, friends, and family, and robbed me of six years of my life.  Devastating depression found me turning the pages of my journals to share in a humorous and shamelessly intimate manner the lies, the manipulation, and the wondrous moments of a chemically and spiritual sexual connection, which left me questioning my own sanity.

I was typing out a warning to the women of the world along with a puzzling question to be answered: was my lover’s charming, emotionless, non-empathetic demeanor the result of his sociopathy or of his Muslim upbringing? In both Part One and Part Two I explore extensively this topic.

Excerpt from Press Release: Part One:

THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT — Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement?

The story is set during the reign of America’s first black president and the continuation of the War on Terror, post 9/11. During this transitional period in society, a post-menopausal conservative comedian/actress/realtor, living alone in her Hollywood Bungalow is suddenly absorbed in a personal changeover. When a Persian Muslim man, twenty-two years her junior, on his own journey of faith, magically enters her life, she grapples with fear, impropriety, and prejudice. Ultimately it is the inescapable and unexplainable physical chemistry of love that disrupts her orderly life and changes her forever.

Sociopaths are like bowling balls, no matter how many times you throw them down the alley, they somehow magically return.

Thus, after a tearful, drunken thirteen months of the requisite no contact and the completion of Part One of The Muslim Romance Trilogy, Ali returned to give me:


Now deeper into his extremist view of Islam and his whimsical personality disorder heightened, he insisted that we must be married in order to be intimate. The ceremony was quick, to the point, and performed on my living room loveseat; my two male dogs as the witnesses.

“God comes first in my life. I am a different person now. Can you understand that?” His scent has calmed from that of a sweating riveter pounding out concrete in the street to the sweet smell reminiscent of naked lovers twisted in the moistness of cotton sheets, their chests glued together by their own perspiration in an August midafternoon madness.

“Of course,” I answered as I rested my head on his shoulder and reached my arm across his tummy. And that’s when I noticed the tic.

“Do you really think you could handle the fact that someday I do want children and will take another wife?”

“I did a little investigation on this and anonymously called the Vermont mosque today to get some information. I had several conversations with the man who handles the marriage questions there, I suppose. He was a funny man, a kind man, who pretty much wished us well.”

“People at the mosque in such positions are very Americanized. I am not.” He took my hand and spoke, as he always did, softly, “Do you agree to be my wife?”

I am currently writing Part Three of the Trilogy. In my writings I hope to discover that there is an end to the madness and that success is truly the best revenge.


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64 Comments on "Why I wrote ‘The Muslim Romance Trilogy’"

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I am always amazed at the things we get ourselves into because of sociopaths. They have this way of seducing us into doing things that we would never do, and we have no idea how it happened.

you are so right, I wish I found this site earlier because some of the video’s Donna posts and the stories I read all make sense right now. I know he is out there conning another because I just learned he had a fiance the other day and other women and he is totally taking a retired couple for their money, but they won’t listen to me. They are so entrenched in his lies and charm that denial is set in. I tried one last ditch effort today to warn them and she(retired couple)wants to get his side of the story. I told her it will all be lies. I have proof and she is in deep, as she has known this Jamaican man for 6yrs because he is her nieces ex husband. I came to know them through him. Sociopaths are so convoluted

Dear Donna,

I apologize for not staying current on this site, especially to responses to my post. Shame on me.

When I delivered the manuscript for Part Three of the Muslim Romance Trilogy, The Arab Sprung/While a Muslim Sleeps in the White House, my self-publisher refused to publish it, and then went back and banned Parts One and Two from all on-demand sale sites. The topic suddenly was “too hot.” I was censored. Apparently, they didn’t realize I wrote satire and comedy!

In September I successfully published Part Three. I am currently re-working/formatting Parts One and Two for CreateSpace. After writing the longest love letter ever written, closure is coming for all of us!

Keep up the great work. I read all your articles. When all three parts are available, I would like to advertise them on this site…IF YOU DARE!

Juliet in Hollywood

Juliet – wow- a self-publisher censored you??? That’s outrageous.

Keep me posted.

Yes, they did and removed my first two published books from all sales sites that they control. I am having to pay a formatter to prepare the first two books for CreateSpace on Amazon. He did a wonderful job with Part Three, which is available.
I am going to sue! For pain and suffering!

Happened to me as well! It was Trafford. And what’s really absurd is that it’s a book that’s already in print. I simply didn’t want to re-format the 2nd edition. BTW- they also did not refund my money and they’re ducking my phone calls!

Dear Donna,

Please see my reply below. My reply to you was posted after downwitfakerastas.


I’m intrigued. What was it that you “had a lot in common.” ???

Sounds like a typical sociopath trying to convince his target “I’m just like you!”.

Dear OnMyOwn,

Yes, a great observation. “I’m just like you…but…”
Thanks for reading and commenting.


Dear NotWhatHeSadofMe,

Sorry for the extremely late reply. I have been writing Part Three, publishing, and because my first two books were banned, re-publishing them.
We had nothing in common. He was, as onmyown says below, a typical sociopath trying to convince his target “I’m just like you!”

Part Three: The Arab Sprung, While a Muslim Sleeps in the White House. Currently the Kindle is being offered free. But! Don’t spoil it for you. Please read Parts One and Two first, which will be re-published and available by Christmas.


Looking back at the relationships I’ve had with sociopaths and narcissists, I realize they were all unconventional in a way that tested my boundaries and morals. They managed to convince me that non-monogamy and extramarital sex were not only okay but superior to conventional relationships. I swallowed their reality and went along with it for a time. Why? For the promise of love, which I never had much of in my life. This is what disordered people count on and why cults hold so much fascination for the lost and lonely. Probably, the only thing that kept me from getting into a cult when I was younger was not my personal strength but my pride and vanity. I cared about my image and what others thought about me. I still do. It is important for whomever I date to be liked and accepted – even admired – by my social circle. This is probably a weakness on my part, but it’s kept me from running off with some crazy loons who promised me the sun, the moon, and the stars.

Will there be an article for part III? Interesting story.

I think I married a psychopath because I was afraid of getting into a cult or worse on my own at 18. The psychopath I married seemed so sweet, down to earth, and safe even though I knew he had raped his roommate’s girlfirend. Crazy isn’t it. Then he proved his ownership on our wedding night. They take you, mind, body and soul. And no one who has not experienced it can understand the torture.

I can’t find friends to relate to me very much right now so I am so glad I found this site….everyone just keeps telling me that I should get on with it,,,,its only been four days that I learned he was engaged and had other women and how he led me astray…..I knew all along something wasn’t right, but I chose to ignore my precious intuition…right now I don’t know if I will ever trust again. they do take you mind body and soul for sure

Dear Downwitfakerastas,

Yes, me too. During my crazy-phase of being in love with the Muslim sociopath, no one wanted to hear about, when that was what I really needed, family and friends to scream at! So I wrote three volumes totaling 1500 pages to get over it! The funniest, saddest love letter ever written!

Some day I shall send the three books to the last-known address of his crazy brother who lives in a condo that the even crazier boyfriend bought for him with cash from IRAN! Such a hot topic.

I do hope you are “clear” now and happy. After not seeing him for four years, the Lord sent me closure and it is the last chapter of Part Three. No peeking! Read the first two first, you will find yourself in them.


Dear Delores,

I apologize for not writing to you way back in 2014.

I hope at the current time you are happy and free!



Dear Stargazer,

I am writing Part 3. I took another year off to mourn and market Parts One and Two. The complete trilogy should be out at Christmas, a Box Set!


Dear Stargazer,

Yes, my boundaries and morals were shaken to the core. I am ashamed.
However, I felt it was important to share my shame in order to help and protect other women who may find themselves in the same mess!

When I finally finished Part Three, The Arab Sprung, While a Muslim Sleeps in the White House, my publisher not only refused to publish it, but went on to ban from print-on-demand sale sites both Part One and Part Two, which they had previously published. Apparently, the topic has become too hot.

Part Three, the sweet conclusion, has been published and I am working hard to re-publish Parts One and Two, which must be formatted in a certain way. The Muslim Romance Trilogy will be available in its entirety by Christmas, I hope!

Take care,


The superficial charm of spaths I find sickening. The lies. The deception they spin on us.

So the disordered friend I had said he is going to get hitched/married. He always talked about wanting to settle down but just couldn’t make it happen regardless of the many short-term relationships.

In December 2013 he got a job in a different parish so he would now work out of town. Within no time at all he found a new woman. The previous relationship ended in April 2013 and as usual the blame fell on the female.

Recently the disordered one sent me text stating that he will be getting married this June but the actual date is not fixed as yet. Mind you this is a 5 – 6 month relationship. From what I got to understand his pastor supports the marriage idea and his advice was for the spath and the young woman to spend a lot of time together. What is beyond me is how comes this man is getting married June 2014 and he does not have a date set yet. All he knows is the day of the week he wish to have the wedding. The excuse for not knowing the date is because he and the fiancée has to complete the pre-marital questionnaire first. As soon as it is completed then he will tie the knot right away. The wedding format will be the couple and two witnesses and of course marriage officer. He doesn’t even have any plans to take the new bride out to dinner right after marrying her.

I am sorry for the unsuspecting and innocent fiancée because she will be in for a rude awakening when the spath starts to show his true colors. Oh. How did the spath expressed his love for her: “She is a big woman and mature. She will take any little thing I give to her and not complaint.” Can you feel the love? He has a sexual interest in her but how much beyond that I have no idea. In my view what he really wants is a woman to be his household maid. He is getting training to be an elder in the church so marriage will do something for his image too.

(I used “friend” for ease of reference.)

Juliet, what a way to turn a bad experience into a positive – write a book (or set of books as the case may be), help others through your book, and make some money off it. You are my hero! I can’t wait to read Part III.

Dear Stargazer,

My second note to you today!

“You are my hero! I can’t wait to read Part III.”

Did you read Parts One and Two? I am thrilled! Did you leave a review on Amazon? As I write this, I can see your name, perhaps Stargazer, in the list of reviews for THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT. Wishful thinking on my part? I shall take a look.

“help others through your book, and make some money off it.” I have helped some women, who have written to me. However, I think I’m at least five grand in the hole so far! I didn’t write them for money, I wrote them out of love for peace.

Write again! Please check up on me on Juliet Montague’s page on Amazon.

Thank you.


I just finished the first book tonight. I just couldn’t believe what I was reading. To me it was like reading my own texts to my sociopath Muslim boyfriend. He is an ex now as I caught his lies and he married another women while in a relationship with me. I just never could understand it and, naturally, dumped his ass when I found out (through his sister cause he is gutless!). I went through depression when I was with him because of the emotional and financial abuse. I have only recently come out of the foginess. This novel is very close to what I went through too.

Just to clarify: I found out about the wedding through his sister. He was so gutless by not telling me himself. 3 weeks later, after many of my abusive emails and text messages (do you blame me?!), I get a message from him saying that he had to marry for a reason blah blah blah. No respect for me or for his new wife.
I always wondered if it was because of him being a Muslim or if he was a sociopath or both but never found anyone in the same boat as me to find that out.

Oh, my God! I am a fool not to have followed up on the responses here! Please forgive me.

Thank you for reading Part One. I see that it has helped in your “closure.” We are not alone!

When I submitted Part Three, THE ARAB SPRUNG, While a Muslim Sleeps in the White House, my publisher refused to publish it and then took Parts One and Two off the shelves! I have been struggling to re-publish Parts One and Two. You’ll love Part Two, JIHAD HONEYMOON IN HOLLYWOOD, Not Without My Dogs, because he just gets worse and worse, but she keeps letting him back in the gate!
I am hoping that by Christmas, Parts One and Two will be available on Amazon, etc.
Would you please post a review on Amazon for THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT, Part One? I need ten million more reviews!
You will revel in the conclusion in Part Three. Revenge is sweet!


Juliet Montague


Please leave a review on Amazon for The Year I Learned to Text, so together we can help other women!


Juliet Montague

This was tragic for her and her children.

Dear Sunnygal,

It was truly a tragedy that changed me forever. I’m better now than ever! Please visit my author page on Amazon.com to read the latest news.

Bless you,

Juliet Montague

I have an acquaintance in northern England whose daughter was involved with a violent Pakistani Muslim. He assaulted the daughter and the mother. I am aware of the negatives of Muslim men.

Good! Now pass on your knowledge without fear!


Please I need help.
I have been seeing a Muslim man 15 years younger than me for around 6 months now.
Something doesn’t feel right! For some reason I don’t believe what he says…believe he has other women and that basically he is using me for sex.
He always professes his love for me. Turns up on my door step when I’ve been trying to end it. Really feel like I need out of this relationship but he won’t let me. Because I love him he always talks me round.
But my instinct say something seriously wrong.
Any advise would be more than welcomed…thank you…as all this is badly effecting my mind xx

Hi Shellg1, I’m glad you posted your post.

It’s vitally important to never weaver from your gut instinct. And right now your gut is screaming at you to get this guy out of your life!! Listen to it!!

You have a right to end a relationship with someone. With this said, with this guy you need to take the proper steps out of this controlling relationship because he sounds like he might be dangerous.

PLEASE contact your country’s National Domestic Violence Hotline (just google those words with your countries name) in the USA the number is 800-799-SAFE. Also look at their website. When you call tell the free counselor on the phone what you told us here. And also ask them for your local abuse center phone number and GO without hesitation for free counseling & free group meetings.

Google “Domestic abuse exit plan”, “Domestic abuse Exit Plan you tube”, “Domestic abuse EXIT plan Dr Phil”

Also Google “Domestic abuse Safety plan”

(you will find info on the National Domestic abuse hotline website as well)

google “Oprah Gavin Debecker you tube” and watch their interview on listenign to your gut alarm. Gavin Debecker is the author of Gift of Fear. It is worth your time & money to read it (check at your local library in the USA to see if they have it).

Keep posting her Shellg1 to keep us posted & to ask any question you need to ask.

You are not alone, WE HEAR YOU!!! Please keep reaching out for help!!

Wishing you all the best.

Take care.

Shellg1, this is from the National Domestic Violence Hotline website USA:

“What Is Safety Planning?

A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. Safety planning involves how to cope with emotions, tell friends and family about the abuse, take legal action and more.

At The Hotline we safety plan with victims, friends and family members anyone who is concerned about their own safety or the safety of someone else.

A good safety plan will have all of the vital information you need and be tailored to your unique situation, and will help walk you through different scenarios.

Although some of the things that you outline in your safety plan may seem obvious, it’s important to remember that in moments of crisis your brain doesn’t function the same way as when you are calm. When adrenaline is pumping through your veins it can be hard to think clearly or make logical decisions about your safety. Having a safety plan laid out in advance can help you to protect yourself in those stressful moments.


While you browse this site, please keep your personal safety in mind. Here are some ways to “check your tech” and ensure your safety on the computer or phone.

Types of Safety Planning Leaving a Relationship Legal Information

Types of Safety Planning

Safety While Living With An Abusive PartnerSafety Planning With ChildrenSafety Planning With PetsSafety Planning During PregnancyEmotional Safety Planning

Identify your partner’s use and level of force so that you can assess the risk of physical danger to you and your children before it occurs.

Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and there are ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move to those areas.

Don’t run to where the children are, as your partner may hurt them as well.

If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.

If possible, have a phone accessible at all times and know what numbers to call for help. Know where the nearest public phone is located. Know the phone number to your local shelter. If your life is in danger, call the police.

Let trusted friends and neighbors know of your situation and develop a plan and visual signal for when you need help.

Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner. Plan a code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave the house.

Tell your children that violence is never right, even when someone they love is being violent. Tell them that neither you, nor they, are at fault or are the cause of the violence, and that when anyone is being violent, it is important to stay safe.

Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children.

Plan for what you will do if your children tells your partner of your plan or if your partner otherwise finds out about your plan.

Keep weapons like guns and knives locked away and as inaccessible as possible.

Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway and keeping it fueled. Keep the driver’s door unlocked and others locked for a quick escape.

Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry that could be used to strangle you.

Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day or night.

Dear Shellg1,

Run, don’t walk, away from him. He is adorable, I am sure. He is also a liar, a womanizer, and a Muslim sociopath.
He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family, correct? He is full of testosterone, correct? He is AWOL for days and then wants you, and wants you RIGHT NOW?
You are lovesick, oxytocin drenched, and your friends think you’re nuts? Oxytocin is the love-drug chemical that gets shoved into your brain causing you to trust and lust. Starting today: NO MORE CONTACT with him.

I know how you feel, that this sexy man wants you! He doesn’t want YOU; he just wants to win the game!

I’m so sorry. I wrote my books to prevent this cruelty. I wrote my books for wonderful, loving women like you to read so that they could SAVE THEMSELVES from years of depression.

Please visit my author page on Amazon. Juliet Montague. The Year I Learned to Text; Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement? I have explained on my author page why my books were banned and that I am busy re-publishing them, so that they can be available once again. There may be a used Part One and Part Two of The Muslim Romance Trilogy available on Amazon, the original publication. Part Three is available, but don’t cheat and read it until you read Parts One and Two. You’ll see yourself in them. You’ll laugh at yourself! Laughter is the best medicine.

Remember, if you wouldn’t DO IT to someone; DON’T let anyone do it to you.

Your instincts are in great shape. You must have NO CONTACT with him. No texting, talking, smelling him! Don’t write him any letters, either; that is, if you even know his address! NO, NO, NO. It may take two years to get over this. Start today!

Much love,


Juliet thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I AM going to read your books. But I failed miserably today. I work 4am till midday. I remembered your no contact policy so I blocked him on everything. He again turned up at my house knocking on door…ringing my home number which I can’t block. Eventually after spending 5 hours hidden under my duvet I gave in and answered phone. Now I’m back in relationship! He seems so sincere that he really loves me! He was scared of losing me. Told me he faithful but been worrying about his family in Afghanistan as his cousin had been killed! His dad is on run from enemies ( whatever that means) and is in Saudi Arabi he was a general in Afghanistan army? I want to help him. Believe him! But can’t shake of a complete feeling of dread. Sorry you must be busy…usually am a strong confident woman…am complete mess now xxxx

Juliet thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I AM going to read your books. But I failed miserably today. I work 4am till midday. I remembered your no contact policy so I blocked him on everything. He again turned up at my house knocking on door…ringing my home number which I can’t block. Eventually after spending 5 hours hidden under my duvet I gave in and answered phone. Now I’m back in relationship! He seems so sincere that he really loves me! He was scared of losing me. Told me he faithful but been worrying about his family in Afghanistan as his cousin had been killed! His dad is on run from enemies ( whatever that means) and is in Saudi Arabi he was a general in Afghanistan army? I want to help him. Believe him! But can’t shake of a complete feeling of dread. Sorry you must be busy…usually am a strong confident woman…am complete mess now xxxx
And yes your right I did know his address…visited his home…now he moved no idea where? And no not been introduced to friends or family…although he said give him time and he will tell them xxx

OMG. You’re not in Hollywood, California, are you? My Muslim lover’s father was still in Iran, retired (supposedly) from the guard there. During an upheaval in Iran, he didn’t keep a date because, “My family being killed!”

Are you getting it? He is using the Middle Eastern song to feed you excuses. Good Grief!



Shell, Your subconscious is probably right about him. Your subconscious is telling you he is dangerous and harmful to you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to have no contact with him. It is also the hardest thing to do. But you will get stronger and think clearer when he is no longer manipulating you.

Let us know how things are going for you. Take care of yourself.


When people experience hardship and are concerned for their family members, they look for loving support. They don’t remain apart because their family is suffering…. quite the opposite.

This guy is feeding you a pack of lies.

Sorry, but if he loved you, he’d be reaching out to you in his time of need, not creating absence. It’s a sham!

Your brain is addicted to this man. He knows that after calling you for 5 hours, you’ll give in. How does he know? Because you showed him so. Next time, simply pull the plug on your phone so you don’t have to hear it ring, and go about your business.

Ditto to that!


You are chemically addicted to the SEX. He may not even enjoy foreplay or intimacy at all. But he’s got you! I’ll bet you can smell him when he parks his car.

I’ve been there. Done that.

The depression will end, believe me. Santa Claus is coming to town. Make a list of the GOOD and then make a list of the BAD in this relationship. Look at it in black and white. I am sure the NAUGHTY will have the higher score!

Be strong. Stay away from him.



Jan thank you for your time. He has never hit me but did ( and this is gonna sound crazy) nip/pinch me very hard sometime!! Until I told him to stop. I just feel totally emotionally spiritually drained all the time. But when he nice he so very loving. I actually hate myself because I crave his attention. What is wrong with me??

Hi Shellg1, sending hugs to you! 💜 It’s hard to believe domestics that we are (were) in a abusive relationship. Society has taught us that domestic abuse is only physical abuse. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!

Did you know that the bulk of domestic abuse is NOT physical abuse?

The bulk of reported domestic abuse is Emotional, mental & verbal.

The fact that you Shellg1 stated in your comment that you:

“I just feel totally emotionally spiritually drained all the time”

IS A SIGN THAT YOU ARE IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!! (I too felt this way as does every woman who is in a abusive relationship).

This is EXACTLY who a victim of verbal, emotional & mental abuse feels!!!

Your feelings are a gut alarm going off….listen to them!!!

Do you feel like you relationship with him is a constant emotional & mental roller coaster ride?

This is how every women in a domestic abusive relationship feels. Their abuser is constantly changing his mood…one minute he is kind & appears to be loving then the next he is playing mental games to break you down.

Abusers want full control over their victims. How to they get full control?

They break their target victims spirit down. Make the target vicim feel like they are going crazy. (which they are not it just feels this way).

You stated in another post that you were once a strong confident woman and now you dont feel this way because of him.

THIS is EXACTLY how a victim of abuse feels!!


Do you think you are being abused Shellg1?? (think about this question and reflect over your relationship with this man)

Did you know lying is abuse?

Did you know that omission of information is abuse?

Grab a piece of paper Shellg1 and write down all the negative things he has done to you. Including that he has not introduced you to his friends or family. Be specific so that you can reflect on this information.

Go up to the top right corner of love fraud & do a search on these words:

Gas lighting abuse

No contact rule

gray rock


(also search these words on the net)

Every time you try to break up with this guy and he comes around to sweet talk you back into a relationship with him, he is “Lovebombing” you. Lovebombing is a form of manipulation.

Do you know that manipulation is a form of abuse?

His physical abuse does not have to be say a punch, but physical abuse WOULD include nip/pinch!!! YES this is physical abuse because he is trying to hurt you & to control you by these means.

Please give us more details of your relationship with this guy so we can guide you to the technical terms so that you can educate yourself on exactly the type of abuse you are enduring.

But also PLEASE contact your national domestic abuse center to talk with a free counselor and also ask them for your local abuse center and go for free counseling & free woman group meeting. You will learn that you are in a abusive relationship and there are steps to safely exit this relationship.

Please know that most dangerous time for a woman in a domestic abusive relationship is when she is either planning to leave or has left. This is why it is vitally important to have a safety plan & an exit plan out of your abusive relationship.

Sending you HUGE hugs tonight hon!!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE SHELLG1, WE HEAR YOU….keep reaching out for help with National Domestic abuse hotline.

USA 800-799-SAFE (or google for your country’s number)

Take care 💜

Shellg1, oop type’o:

“It’s hard to believe domestics that we are (were) in a abusive relationship.”

should read:

It’s hard to believe that we are (were) in a abusive relationship.


One more thing for you to google:

Domestic abuse power & control wheel

(this explains the roller coaster ride that a abuser will create)

My ex h would get in a fight with me intentionally out of the blue so that he could go to his mistress house…(he had many) and then he knew exactly when I was going to leave him & he would then turn on the love bombing to suck me back in. It was a constant mental game of him to have complete control over me…it worked. Until one day I had ENOUGH and packed my bags, found a counselor who was extremely knowledge and told me that I was married to a sociopath and then everything made sense, although it was not over night that I was able to clear my mind from all his craziness.

I also went to my local abuse center for their women group meetings an that was where reality really hit that YES I was in a emotional, mental & verbally abusive marriage. It was eye opening!! And one of the best steps out of my marriage for good!! After that day I never looked back (along with the counselors telling me he was a sociopath).

My days are calm once again. When I reflect back I thank my luck stars that I finally listen to my gut alarm and escaped for good.

Hugs to you!!

Dear Jan,

Hugs right back to you!

Ah, no more drama. Just me and my dog! Happy as a clam, except for the fact I am re-reading/re-editing the first two books in the trilogy for re-publication, after having them banned by my own self-publisher!
In re-reading them, I don’t cry any longer over the sad parts. And I laugh even heartier and out loud over the funny parts!



Glad to hear no more drama.

Hello Jan! I wanted to thank you to support me in our “case” just 3 weeks ago 😉 I think we have won this case :-))))
I wanted to write back but it was not to cleverack but it was not clever at that moment!!! Thanks again and the best greetings from germany… Nina

Dear Shell,

You are consumed with the oxytocin love drug. You have been blinded by your own loving, trusting chemistry. Please do not have anymore contact!



Hi Juliet, greetings from around the world.. I know EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED to you.. Its been a nightmare for me, too. After ending a long term relationship with a cerebral psychopath.. no sex . I met HIM… Arabic..
It was Sex Sex Sex.. 2 years… Let me tell you there are two major parts with this 1. Porn – They watch porn like crazy… women abuse like hell.. but you don´t know it
2. The Islam/Koran teaching- totally in Contrast- women are worth nothing either…
These 2 programms combined are deadly!! If you are not a muslim.. you are basically …dead. 🙂
I had to do with a possesed person.. Was Sooooooooo exhausted… he is a very pretty person.. I love you I love you I love you…. It was crazy.. I am not “rid” of him to today… no sex for 3 years and I am still stalked…

In their deepest core they think of us as whores… and this comes from the two programms above mentioned…

Hugs from germany and all the best for finishing your writings!! you make a contribution to all of us who have been in such a relationship!

Dear Nina,

Although I wrote my stories with humor, I intentionally quoted from the Qur’an and other Islamic sources. You might call my “novels” a course in Islam for Dummies. I hope to reach many women around the world to Save them from Themselves.
You see, Ali, the Persian graduate from UCLA, born in Iran and arrived in the United States at the age of seven, hates everything American. He hates us so much that he’s “never going to pay his student loans, spread his seed willy-nilly and have all his sons and daughters receive welfare, because he’s never going to marry anyone legally.” He’s got the system sewed up!

He lives with his mother, I believe. What a catch, huh?

Well, back to re-editing so I can get my banned books back out there!

Hugs from Hollywood

Very courageous !! Thank you for writing these books!

Find me on Amazon.com as author Juliet Montague. I am updating the progress on my “Banned in Indiana” books. Parts One and Two will be available by Christmas.

I wrote them to advise women against having anything to do with Muslim men, unless they’re Muslim women, who seem to enjoy being down-trodden, ignored, used solely for sex, and stoned to death, while the other wives look on.

Yes, I’ve been ostracized by my own children for writing the truth. So be it!


May I aask how long you have been in that relationship…and did you travel with him to his country or even lived there? see also my post above…

I am sorry, I just found out.. 6 years…

The relationship was six months with a one year break, when I broke it off. But then he came back one year later to marry me Islam-style.

Though he talked about a Honeymoon in Yemen, we never got further than my basement in Hollywood.

The honeymoon lasted from August, 2010 to October 31st, 2010, when I broke it off again and this time he stayed away. Don’t want to spoil the conclusion of Part Three for you, so I shall say no more.


Wow Jan7 thank you for all you’ve shared, it helped me immensely. I know lying is wrong but I just didn’t realize lying is a form of abuse.
I came from an abusive home, my mother lied to me, physically abused me, emotionally abused me and wouldn’t separate herself from me. I finally opened my eyes and released myself from her grasp years ago.
After all Ive been through in intimate relationships and friendships I’m convinced my mother is a sociopath. I have felt for more than 20 yrs that she and my stepfather are narcissists but after my last relationship with a diagnosed borderline I’m certain my mommy dearest is a sociopath.
Imagine having a mother 16 yrs older than you that has always competed with you? I see her maybe once a yr and she still tries to put my looks down, shes had plastic surgery on her body and her face hmmm seems to me shes the one with the issue but she made sure I felt like an ugly duckling my entire life. I can only thank God she and my stepfather moved down south 30 + yrs ago when I was 20. I am so very happy to have found this site as it has helped me see things clearly and I know I am not alone. I am trying to get out there and make new friends but I am scared because I don’t trust like I once did. I’m going to beat this and heal it just seems to take sooo long.

I have studied the Bible and the Quran, and i will say that extremist from both books are not tolerable, i will however say that westerners, especially americans (which i am one myself) think the Quran is evil and never bothered reading it, nor learning arabic, the Quran actually states men and women are equals and God does not like the aggressors, that slaves are to be freed, that marriage cannot be forced, the word jihad does not mean “holy war” it means to strive or struggle. There are sociopaths in all walks be it a jew a christian a muslim or an atheist.

Totally correct, Dave, I replied further down to your other posts bevor even reading this… ..see down below…greetings

The “religion” Islam is a cult, ALL religions are a cult, however the word Islam itself and muslim used in context with the arabic language has nothing to do with religion, religions are manmade, what God taught is a “deen” a way of life, where one studies and lives in harmony with nature, treats others equally, repents of sin and replaces the bad with good deeds to his/her fellow man. Root words SLM in islam and muslim literally mean peace, salaam (root SLM yet again) a true muslim is one who submits their will peacefully to the creator and replaces bad deeds with good ones, yes there are some brainwashed fanatics, and we can find them in christianity too as well as judaism.

And Nina, what about all the messed up crap in the Bible? Stone adulteres and unbelievers to death??? Quran does not condone stoning people, islamic hadith books do, but Quran does not, hadiths are the = to jewish talmud which is nothing but racist evil nonsense. Jewish talmud claims that jews are the creme of the crop and when their messiah comes they all get gentile slaves, and its ok for them to commit crimes against goyim (ie gentiles) islamic hadith are almost as bad, however the Quran is not, if one learns the arabic and only follows the Quran without the hadith influence, then one will be a decent/respectful individual whom treats others fairly and equally, sry some of you dealt with extremist who like to abuse women, that is wrong and not what that book teaches, but people also quickly forget things the bible states, like women should remain silent, or shave their heads if they dont cover their hair, or stoning others to death for not believing in the same God, HOWEVER this is our current translation of the Bible, ancient hebrew, koine greek, and aramaic are all dead languages that cannot be completely translated properly, hence i feel the Bible is grossly mis-translated, point being is this, our creator does not condone violence or mis-treatment of others.


The women posting here are recounting their own personal experiences with Muslim men.
You don’t need to read the Qur’an to have your heart broken.

I agree with you, Dave and I am glad you brought that up….
thank you for “correcting” me a little bit in this seemingly “one sided point of view… But I am not just critical of Islam but, after understanding and researching, e.g. reading the old testament..also of “our” religions….one can figure out what really is going on…. Endless wars and wars…and some parties profiting from ther “closer” connection to “god”….
All about power and control over others. Laizism, meaning the separation of religion and “state” has never fully arrived in our cultures, too…

I truly hope, too, we all have a “creator” different from the cruel god in bible, islam and judaism…one that does not condone violence or misttreatment of others.

I was just ranting because of my personal experiences, you are right!
Donna does not like to get into these discussions too deep..what I fully understand…but we must aknowledge that many people are influenced by these religions and use them only for their purposes- so I thank her that I could raise my voice to this a little bit and I also thank Juliet for being so brave and writing about these two sided, twisted people….And thaank you, Dave, too..:-)

Juliet is doing an important work, I think and I hope she finishes the books, soon…

Thank you for the good discussion.

No worries Nina, there are bad apples in all walks of life, and yes that includes some muslims, i have just studied both those books for many years and it astounds me how little the western world knows, they just read hate pieces then think thats true without investigating it or learning the meanings of certain words. I am sorry to hear you had a bad exp with people who claim to be believers.

Interesting trilogy.

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