A case is now percolating through the Illinois courts that may have implications on whether perpetrators of online deception can be sued for damages.
The case is Paula Bonhomme v. Janna St. James. Bonhomme lives in Los Angeles. She is a fan of the TV show Deadwood, and back in 2005, joined a chat room about the show. There she met St. James.
St. James eventually introduced Bonhomme, online, to a man by the name of Jesse. Bonhomme and Jesse exchanged emails, phone calls and handwritten notes, and their relationship blossomed into a romance. Jesse introduced Bonhomme to his family and friends via email. Bonhomme sent gifts to Jesse and his family. They planned a future together, and decided that Bonhomme should move from Los Angeles to Jesse’s home in Colorado.
Then suddenly, Jesse died of liver cancer. In Jesse’s memory, Bonhomme went to Colorado to visit some of his favorite places, accompanied by the woman who had introduced her to Jesse—Janna St. James.
But there was a problem: None of it was real.
Janna St. James made up the Jesse character, along with all 20 of his friends and family. She created an entire web of deceit, and snared Paula Bonhomme. She actually used voice-altering technology, so when they spoke on the phone, St. James sounded like a man.
Bonhomme spent money on gifts. She bought Jesse airline tickets and made changes to her home in preparation for his visits, which never materialized. In all, the charade cost Bonhomme about $10,000, including $5,000 for therapy after the emotional devastation of Jesse’s “death.”
Finally, Bonhomme’s friends, worried about the amount of time she was spending online, confronted St. James and exposed the fraud. They captured it on video, which is posted on YouTube.
Read ”˜Fake’ online love affair becomes legal battle on ABCNews.go.com.
Watch the YouTube video, St. James exposed.
Taking it to court
Bonhomme filed a complaint against Janna St. James in Illinois court in February 2008. The court dismissed her case. She filed a motion to reconsider in 2009, which was also dismissed. Then her attorneys filed an appeal.
Bonhomme’s complaint stated that St. James St. James committed fraudulent misrepresentation. The elements of this claim are:
- A false statement of material fact
- Knowledge or belief of the falsity by the party making it
- Intention to induce the plaintiff to act
- Action by the plaintiff in justifiable reliance on the truth of the statement
- Damage to the plaintiff resulting from that reliance
The problem with the original case apparently was that a claim of fraudulent misrepresentation was historically recognized only in business or financial transactions. The court had previously declined to consider fraudulent misrepresentation in noncommercial or nonfinancial dealings between parties.
Also, the defendant’s attorneys argued that St. James engaged in fiction, not a misrepresentation of facts, and that “the concepts of falsity and material fact do not apply in the context of fiction, because fiction does not purport to represent reality.”
The original trial court apparently bought that argument, but the appeals court did not. The appeals court ruled that the trial court erred in dismissing the case, and sent it back for further proceedings.
The actual court opinion is interesting and mostly easy to read. Check it out: Appellate Court of Illinois— Paula Bonhomme v. Janna St. James.
Blame the victim
The appellate court decision wasn’t, however, unanimous. One of the justices dissented, writing:
The reality of the Internet age is that an online individual may not always be—and indeed frequently is not—who or what he or she purports to be. The plaintiff’s reliance on the defendant’s alleged misrepresentations, in deciding to spend $10,000 on Christmas gifts for people who allegedly lived in another state and whom she had never met, was not justifiable. The plaintiff also cannot be said to have justifiably relied on the alleged misrepresentations in incurring expenses to move to another state to live with someone she had never met in person and who had cancelled a previous face-to-face meeting after she had purchased nonrefundable airline tickets.
In other words, the dissenting justice blamed the victim for being dumb enough to fall for the scam.
Kirk Sigmon, a blogger for the Cornell Law School, also thought the appellate court decision was a bad idea. He argued that “the world is full of misleading statements and ”˜puffery,’” and Bonhomme v. St. James could set a precedent that made Internet users responsible for telling the truth. This, Sigmon seemed to imply, was an imposition.
This holding has the potential to cause serious problems for Internet users. At least according to the Bonhomme court’s logic, many individuals may be liable for expenses incurred as a result of someone’s reliance upon their virtual representations. Mindless banter in chatrooms could now create legal liabilities. If courts apply a similar logic to negligent misrepresentation cases, even careless statements made on websites could give rise to litigation so long as plaintiffs can prove intent and harm. In theory, every user of the Internet is now subjected to an implied duty of truthfulness or due care in the representations they make when interacting with others online.
The blogger argued that allowing a complaint of fraudulent misrepresentation arising from personal dealings, rather than just commercial dealings, “threatens the very freedom that makes the Internet so attractive.”
Read The wild, wild web and alter egos, on CornellFedSoc.org.
Wrong but not illegal
I am troubled by the judge’s dissent, which blames the victim, and the Cornell blogger’s apparent opinion that the freedom of the Internet must include the freedom to lie, no matter how destructive it is to another individual.
The actions of Janna St. James were clearly reprehensible. They were morally wrong. This woman did not engage in “social puffery.” She set out to purposely deceive Paula Bonhomme, apparently just to amuse herself. Unfortunately, she succeeded, and Bonhomme was damaged.
Not only that, but St. James had a history of pulling this scam. Since this case became public, Bonhomme was contacted by at least five other women who were similarly victimized by St. James, in fake letters going back to the 1980s.
So why is it so difficult for Paula Bonhomme to get justice? I think the problem is the very structure of our legal system. Even when an action is clearly wrong, if it doesn’t violate a law, nothing can be done. The law hasn’t kept up with the technology, and the law, like most of society, doesn’t understand the maliciousness of sociopaths.
I hope Bonhomme makes out better in her next court go-round. In any event, I applaud her for even pursuing the case. If we want to make changes, and hold sociopaths accountable, we have to start somewhere.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
Constantine, thanks for sharing a piece of your story. I have seen you post here without knowing what happened toyou. Sorry she was such a bitch. Glad you’re here. It always helps to hear the stories. I almost called my spath today. Then a friend reminded me that he feeds on emotion. It’s supply. Right?
Ugh.
Can these people just GO AWAY!
Sheesh!
My cousin emailed me to ask if we’d join them for a thankgiving dinner tonight.
UH….NO…..
Last night, she tagged the kids on FB with a photo taken of all the family at my Uncles memorieal……you know….the one we were banned from? WTF? WHy would you send us this photo? REALLY?????
So……Jr blasted her last night in an email……
She responded to me today with…..we’d love to see you and kids, I understand you might have hard feelings towards auntie re; the funeral….and maybe us too. But know we love you and remember…..
Love covers a multitude………
So I unleashed……..
Heres what I wrote…..
o Ann, Quite frankly……yes….there are many difficult feelings to process in regards to not being allowed to show my respects to my Uncle, (and my Aunt) while he was passing along with after, at his memorial. It was an insult and a betrayal on many levels. The fact that Your husband was chosen to be the messenger and he accepted, (apparently, not agreeing with the message), yet delivering it, is disgusting to me.
The fact that you and I had just spoken, and I showed my care and concern and offered up myself, to ease the time and comfort for others, and felt like a fool for offering my compassion and empathy and being essentially spit on.
The fact I called on Oct. 2 to see how Uncle Frank was doing and was informed of the hospice situation and asked if it be appropriate for JR and I to pop in and say our goodbyes—and never got a call back. We were ready to leave, just waiting all day for a call we never got. I thought maybe he had passed, I kept telling JRs ’excuses’ for not hearing back”..Jr told me”.MOM, what are you stupid, they don’t want us around ”“ don’t you get it. He was right!
Once again, I had genuine concern and expressed myself authentically—
I made it clear, we would only stay 10 minutes”..and be gone, no entertaining needed. I made a dinner to leave for you all (Gluten free even)—just to ease the time for YOU at this time. I don’t blame anyone for my feelings……nobody asked me to make anything, I just thought it would be easy for ya’ll. Again”..the friggen fool I am!
We are not the ’go to’ punching bags of the family. Grief is NOT a license to treat others poorly. The fact that not ONE person stood up for what was right is inexcusable. Everyone talked about it”.but NO ONE stood up. !
There is no more room in my world for crap from those we considered and treated as family. I have strangers value me and my emotional well being more than my own family. I’ve expressed prior that I won’t allow myself to be silenced by anyone EVER again”..and this situation is no different.
o I’m sure the family of denial would like nothing but to pretend this didn’t happen. Have EB shut up and keep her pain to herself”..and carry on, portraying to everyone that all’s well in the family, so they can live ’guilt’ free and enjoy ’family time. It’s NOT. Didn’t anyone think this would affect us?
The fact that Auntie has not contacted us since……is indicative of the denial she shares with her sister. How easily we are pawned off, at others request. I will let the grieving widow off the hook, just as I did the day of my Uncles service—we honored the demand. I’m certain it won’t be a loss for her. Get rid of EB and she can carry on with her sister—.as if nothing happened.
o I’ve NEVER asked anyone to choose between my parents or me. NO ONE. Those requests came from Aunties sister. NOT ME. Auntie can choose to carry the burden for her sister for eternity. I refuse to carry others burdens. If she can’t handle it”..that IS her problem. If she chooses to have a fake relationship, placate and skirt the reality with her sister—her gig! I won’t own her choices”..just as I have never expected anyone to own MINE!
I know differently, you all know differently. If no one cares to speak up for what’s right”..well, there ain’t a damn thing I can do about it but take care of myself. As uncomfortable as it is…..I’m speaking my mind!
My Uncles death was NOT about ME”.and it was NOT about my parents. It was about my Uncle. Period. Others chose to make it about me—but NOT me. I will NOT be others pawn.
I learned a long time ago—people are all talk”..and when they are put into a hard predicament—they take the easy route and pretend all’s well. It’s NOT. HELLOOOOOOO…..it’s not!
I’m sure you would understand if it was YOU or your CHILDREN being treated poorly.
What if your kids were banned from someone they loved memorial….with those they considered family?
What emotions do you experience when YOUR children are hurt by others?
I will tell you, I feel in my heart that —Uncle Frank would have been disgusted with this all. He was always the rational one, the level headed one—..and he also stood up for what was right. Ironic how this was his ’event’, and his family fell apart the minute he had no voice.
I did what I could to let my Uncle know I loved him, I called and spoke with him frequently, I tried to give him the ’outside’ world via the use of my wheelchair, I called Auntie and asked about HER and encouraged her to take respite, when she expressed guilt for leaving him alone, I told her I thought she needed to do this for herself. I encouraged her to bring in help. I offered to have kids and I come down (as JR could lift UF) so you all could get away for a bit. I encouraged her to take care of her, because she wouldn’t be any good for him if she wasn’t healthy—mind and spirit.
It was my mother who put my MOTHERS crap onto her—not me. I showed her compassion and empathy and kept in touch with her. I walked on eggshells, knowing she had a weird thing going on with my mother, in regards to my situation with them—I tried to respect that. When Auntie didn’t want to tell me about my mother’s cancer, and I was told by another”..I didn’t want Auntie to carry this burden, I called and told her not to worry about it ”“ release it. I didn’t want to discuss it with her. She had far more serious things to deal with in her own home. I didn’t call Auntie with my burdens”..and when she asked, I minimized them for her and changed the subject. I tried to protect her and her emotional health.
All anyone had to say was—EB”Go away, stop calling.
I feel like a fool for not going away earlier.
This broke my heart. It blindsided me—I was kicked in the GUT! Like a fool, I thought these moments were behind me—I thought these situations with family were rare and only related to my parents and my former husband’s family. I was the fool to think this and let my guard down. It totally caught me off guard. The perpetrator can rest well with this knowledge.
I expressed to Auntie how much I appreciated her in our life and just what it meant to me and kids.
I was never given any ’heads up’ that this could occur again”..and in this way.
It can’t be taken back. My Uncle will never die again”..he’s gone.
We were not important enough to be included in his memorial, to share our unique experiences with Uncle Frank that others do not know. To talk about the man that I knew. MY relationship with him and no one else’s. To share with others the conversations that he and I had which changed my life, offered me hope and to feel that someone in MY life was proud of ME.
He was the only man who has ever told me this. HE WAS PROUD OF ME”..and WHY!
My Uncle Loved me”..My Uncle was proud of me”..and no one’s ill will towards us can ever take that from me.
My kids have experienced enough crap coming from family,there done”.family to JR represents being mistreated, and he wasn’t shocked like I was. His reaction was understandable, yet so deeply sad to me. This is the family I CHOSE to bring them into.
No one had the balls to call my jrs and tell them they wasn’t welcome at their Uncles Memorial. That burden was pawned off on ME. Another layer of the onion.
o Nobody cared or gave it a thought how this affected Jr. Nobody cared”..and that message was sent LOUD AND CLEAR to them, once again.
I will tell you, Jr was greatly offended to be tagged in a photo from the ’family’ at the memorial. It was like throwing salt on a wound. Really”..including us in a photo from a memorial we were asked NOT to attend. With the ’family’. Thanks for that reminder”.it opened the wound. I don’t think it was maliciously sent”..I just think it is a reminder of just how unimportant we are. We aren’t important, once again, to give thought about how it may affect us”..being sent a photo of ’family’ from an occasion we had every intention of attending, but asked not to.
It sucked to get home from a nice dinner with friends…….and at the end of the night have jr seeth with anger……to me, out of the blue. We left my friends…..and he unloaded on me. My natural instict is to defend the family, try to offer excuses, placate it……I couldn’t. He was angry and confused as to the ‘why’. My first wish is for my kids to have happiness. I would like to enjoy special times with them. I resent this, creeping in on our Thanksgivning celebration, where I am trying to offer him normalcy. Regardless…..it creeps in…..as he expects it to.
No one is aware of the PTSD and anxiety JR suffers from. Does anyone wonder WHERE this comes from? As hard as I tried to offer it, model it……He hasn’t had the leave it to beaver family life. He is like a shattered vase……and i’m trying to find all the pieces and glue him together…..to let him shine and be able to hold water and flowers again.
If the ’family’ thinks it’s okay for my parents to participate in the taking of my son”..(or as the judge referred to it as KIDNAPPING), put us in danger by continuing to communicate with a Sociopathic, dangerous drug dealer who was abusing us and lying to them, as they were swearing to everyone they were not in communications (I was given a recording of them calling him)—and NOT being there for their sick daughter—who was trying to keep her head above water medically—.and chose to participate in the lies of my true health”.and then ask others in the family to alienate me so I would go ’back’ to her—..then guess what”..judge me up one side and down the other”..FUCK THAT, I won’t have that shit in my life”..and you can ALL keep that and pretend that it didn’t happen”..and judge me for responding with walking away.
There is NO hatchet to bury, this is a boundary issue, this is a life or death issue”..this is a choice I choose NOT to be a part of these behaviors. I’ve worked my ass off to protect myself and Jrs, physically, emotionally and legally. I’ve worked hard and conquered the impossible to bring us to a place of now. There will be NO reconciliation”..Because I refuse to just pretend nothing ever happened. I refuse to participate in the denial factor that is so prevalent in this family. I WILL NOT PRETEND! Just because it’s uncomfortable for you, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen to us.
So much could have been avoided if this family wasn’t so full of control and manipulations, dancing around the truth, denial and—with such poor communication skills.
It’s over now.
As covert and cunning as it was—My mother got her desire granted. And nobody around her noticed her deceit—.but followed along willingly. Splendid show.
Oh, it’s clear to me the ’roll’ my parents played in us being banned from my Uncles memorial. That’s a whole different story. It’s over. Very few noticed it. If you think you all are immune to her manipulations and control—HA”..keep watching”.and brace yourselves. She’s not done yet.
Jokes on all of you.
So”..hopefully, you understand how kids and I can’t just show up at a family Thanksgiving celebration and pretend nothing happened. It wouldn’t be appropriate for us to come angry , hurt and silenced and pretend all was well”..and it certainly wouldn’t be the time to discuss our feelings”.around the dinner table and ruin others day. Unlike what was apparently expected from us at Uncle Franks memorial- to ruin the services.
o Contrary to popular believe, I do have tact and discernment.
Mike pretty much made it clear by skating past the ’topic’ when he called about the wheelchair, that he didn’t intend on discussing it. He was clearly uncomfortable and just skimmed past it. Our feelings didn’t go away when Uncle Frank was cremated—they live, trying to compartmentalize them”..but they are still there.
So—.I don’t know how this will turn out”..I don’t have a lot of energy to deal with it, it’s been another stressor I don’t need—my blood work is all screwed up I’ve got to address what’s going on”.round 2. I have therapy for my kids to continue, I have no heat in the house, I have a new job I started and I must continue to live my life. I will carry on with the knowledge of what went on”.in my past and try to continue to hop on the stones of life that aren’t going to shatter, and throw me into the cess pool. Currently, I’m trying to wash the slime off me from the last ’event’. I’m just doing the best I can.
So much has come out of this—the consequences we suffer.
The message was clear……. consider us punished.
I will leave you with this”..
“Love will seek the good of another. You do not seek good, you are not showing divine love, when you see sin and you close your eyes to it. It is easier to close the eyes to it than to put divine love into operation.”
“It does not mean–to look the other way. It does not mean–to patiently bear the sins.”
“”All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.”
I sent this today…..she’ll get it right after she finishes her family meal. She’ll show mike…her husband, the messanger. They can end their Thanksgiving with the same indigestion that we did yesterday!
They are not spaths……just dupes.
They are religious…..hence the love covers a multitude (of sins)……yeah, well…..let’s chat about that a bit!
She is the one who I placed all my trust into when I was sick and had no one. She saw spath first hand in full swing….ransacking house, stalking the hospital…..she knew the truth.
It had to be said.
EB,
you gave them too much of yourself.
That said, I still have to say, WOW! what a letter. You go girl!
You need to keep that letter and read it again whenever they try to manipulate you again.
When you are dealing with people from a disordered family, you don’t HAVE to give them the benefit of the doubt. You CAN assume that they have evil intentions and aren’t just being “thoughtless”. I guarantee that they have studied “thoughtless” behaviors and know how to mimic them. But that doesn’t make them authentic.
My spath spent years being so amazingly cruel in his dismissal of my feelings. One day he asked, “do you think I’m thoughtless?”. My answer, “no, you aren’t thoughtless.”
He couldn’t understand why I didn’t react to his cruelty anymore. It was because I had already figured out that it was intentional – even before I knew what spaths were. I already knew to gray rock him. My answer was the truth: there was nothing thoughtless about his cruelty, it was malice aforethought.
Don’t give your relatives the benefit of the doubt about being thoughtless. A spath in a family isn’t an anomoly. They come from other spaths and the contagion is spread through the family.
Dear EB,
I can definitely understand your anger and outrage at them inviting you to TG dinner and to “let’s all pretend that none of this happened.” LOL
Just UN-real!!! I’m not sure she will “get what you wrote”—I wish she would but I doubt it. Even the fence sitters don’t seem to “get it” about these things. They operate on such a superficial level that the deeper ideas don’t seem to penetrate into their pie4-pan shallow thinking.
Your last three quotes are excellent, but I can’t see (again) her comprehending anything deeper than a pie pan. Sorry you and your Juniors had another spit in the face.
I had lunch For TG with friends then went to the mountain to the group encampment….then back home last night and back to the mountain today, home again and am just going to bed now….a tiring but peaceful day of visiting with friends and the public…demonstrating how to burn off cast iron pots and to “season” them with oil so they become non stick pans.
Then tonight sat around the camp fire with the story tellers and laughed until I thought I’d split my sides laughing! We have some very very TALENTED story tellers.
.
EB,
Sky might be right about “giving too much of yourself.” At the same time, her response (or lack thereof) to your letter will speak volumes. One thing I’ve noticed about truly noble people, is that when you give yourself and open yourself to them, they tend to reciprocate in kind. On the other hand, small-souled and selfish people tend to take what you give, and then snub you by not responding – or at least by not responding in a proportional manner. So again, what your cousin says (or doesn’t say) in her return letter, will tell you everything you need to know….
And I love the cousin’s remark about “Love covering up a multitude of sins.” That’s great, just treat someone like dirt, and then finish them off with a bit of scripture!
nice Oxy,
pie-pan shallow thinking. I’m gonna borrow that.
Constantine,
excellent comment. “…treat someone like dirt, and then finish them off with a bit of scripture!”
One day, I advised my spath not to throw his pearls before swine. After that, I can’t tell you how many times he repeated the words to me in a tell, “throwing your pearls before swine.”
They pick up on scripture because they can tell it has meaning. They just don’t really get what it means… or maybe in this case he did know he was the swine.
.