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10 Signs that you’re dating a sociopath

If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.

1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.

2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.

3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.

4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.

5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.

6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.

7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.

8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.

9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.

10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.

For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.


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1523 Comments on "10 Signs that you’re dating a sociopath"

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“2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.”
Mine acts like the most humble person.
Did anyone ever experience this too?
I think those seemingly “social” sociopaths are even harder to spot.

Spaths do whatever they think will get them whatever they want. They use different tactics on different targets depending on what they think will work. My ex psychopath feigned humility because it made him look even better than the smartest richest most successful person if he was humble on top of all that. It’s all about impression management.

I am new to the site and feel so many things run true in the craziness of the narcissist, we all share the pain of finding out the monster we gave our love to is not normal at all. My Narcissist was in fact 68 yrs old I am 53 yrs old. He was Charming, loving attentive and I thought I had in fact found my soulmate. We had a long distance relationship and saw eachother every weekend. I must admit there were times when I felt things were Off but his explanations sounded believable with his phone being unreachable for a whole day and night. He blamed his mobile provider! His new phone was having teething problems and wasnt connecting properly. I believed every single word! Fast forward to December 2016 he took me on holiday to Malta for a week. For 2 days before our flight he was complaining of backache and we couldnt make love. We arrived in Malta and still his backache was troublesome, he also said dont use my towel which he hung behind the bathroom door in the holiday apartment, he said he was just getting over a cold, again believable. He kept looking for the toilet if out and about, and I thought it odd. I thought it must be due to his back pain. Day 3 and he was still up and down to the toilet during the night and I could barely sleep.He said he needed to see a Doctor on the Island and we went off to find one, which he kept saying he wanted to see in Private. Fair enough I thought, its his right to have Privacy seeing a doctor. I waited outside, 10 minutes later he came out with a prescription for tablets for back pain and a rash for his sensitive skin, he said the doctor ruled out Shingles, so it wasnt that. I was puzzled. We went to the Pharmacy and he got 5 boxes of tablets I remember thinking that is alot for back pain. The Pharmacist looked at him with a serious face and said You Must Finish the Course. I was still unsuspicious. What happened next was something I will Never forget! I knocked on the bathroom door at after 4am to ask if he was ok? He didnt answer, I asked him to please open the door. He unlocked the door he was sat on the toilet seat with a Blanket wrapped around his shoulders, he got up and walked past me, I dont know what it was but I felt I needed to take the blanket away, which I did and he tried to pull it back. Then I had the shock of my life! His Genitals were covered in Sores and Blisters red raw! I said What is That?? He didnt answer. I realised he was hiding an STD from me, and cried and howled with shock!! He then said “I caught it from you” I went mad and chased him he ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I scrambled for the tablets which were hiding in his suitcase, I read the Instructions, Genital Herpes and Shingles. I cried my eyes out! So this was what he was hiding for days! Even before we left the UK for our Holiday. The Backache was Genital Herpes! I found his phone and looked through that for answers? Something I never did before. His ex was in his phone, and ALL his Call Logs and Texts had been DELETED! I thought Oh my God what the hell has he been up to in Worcester while I have been unsuspicious in Wales! I realised quickly that he must of been cheating on me to HIDE the Herpes from me so damn well. I told him through my tears to come out the bathroom get his things and get another hotel, which he did without a WORD! Amazing! I told him I Hate you for this, still he didnt speak just packed. That happened 5 weeks ago now and I was engaged to this monster. 68 years old and like a child in an adults body Crazy! So any ladies who think that an older man is more mature and may not be a Narcissist/Sociopath Please Think Again. 68 yrs old! They NEVER CHANGE. I have had the Hoovering but have Blocked him from my Life. Thank you for letting me share what happened to me but there where so many other Chaotic things that I thought were ODD before this. Love and Hugs to You All xx

Sounds like you did a great job protecting yourself by ending the relationship and going no contact as soon as you recognized he is a liar who exploited you. You have experienced a loss and you may experience grief as well as anger at his betrayal of you.

Thank you for your post AnnettePK I do feel angry and grief but I am getting there. So many lovely empathic people have suffered far worse. I have had a very Lucky Escape! There are obviously other women who have yet to suffer the consequences of the monster. Hoping you are keeping Strong also xx

Dear Selena and others, My suggestion is never to have a long distance relationship. These online dating sites send out tempting descriptions who live in a whole other country!!!! In my case, I live in a city of over a million people. I figured that out of the adult male population, surely there would be at least ONE man that would be right for me. I never budged from that position, and finally have a good man who lives in my city.

http://www.doublequotes.net/quotes/dating-quotes-i-m-single-and-i-hate-dating

Mainly because I don’t want to meet sociopaths.

I’m a goddam loser when it comes to dating and I’m proud of it. I figure being one protects me from them. Though I guess there are some that might misinterpret it as desperation. Hah.

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