If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Gavin DeBecker is a security specialist, and he was raised by a psychopathic violent mother and he “gets it” about violence and psychopathic traits. FEAR is a gift to us to make us take action to keep us safe, but we discount it and don’t listen to it talking to us. His book is one of the best books about how to deal with stalkers and others who are manipulative and violent.
Libra, good for you! Take care of yourself and knowledge is power, so learn and read and read some more.
Libra –
Keep reading honey; none of us want you taking that yukky person back 🙁
Star –
“Now I see how bad it can be”. ROTFLMAO!!!! I did a double-take when I logged in to the web site and all I kept thinking was “please let nobody engage, please let nobody engage….”Then I got really worried that if similar “appearances” continued, new people who really needed to be here would be put off and might not get the good advice or help that they needed with their spath problems. It was SUCH a relief when I flicked back here and saw that (apart from naughty Sky who deserves a golden skilleting) you were all on the same page as me….scarey, scarey, scarey stuff. (sad, too) (but still very scarey)
MiLo –
BABY goats!!!! You lucky duck! Goats are my absolute all-time favourite domestic animal. I had pet goats as a child and was just in awe of the babies when they came – I used to think that they looked like someone had pointed a miniaturising “ray-gun” from some crazy old TV show and shrunk the adult goats. I could not believe how perfectly grown-up (but weeny) they were from the word go; running around and bunting one another within hours of being born, with their cute little teensy tiny hooves……but now I’m dribbling….(can you tell that I like goats?) 🙂 (Please tell me they are NOT for eating?)
Skylar –
You are a very wicked girl. On the other hand, you were far more pleasant and polite than I had planned to be before I made myself stop and just ignore it….tee hee. xx
(On a very positive note – doesn’t it just show us how very, very NOT crazy we all are? Remember those dark days when we were being made to look and feel like there was something wrong with us? It still didn’t come close to the real deal, did it?)
Oxy –
Peeling boiled chicken eggs, easiest way, proudly brought to you by a former gourmet cafe worker, where the eggs one served could only be the best-looking and most smoothly-peeled eggs in town….
1) let eggs cool down after boiling so they are cool enough to handle with bare hands
2) hold egg so that pointiest end is facing kitchen bench (or side of sink) and strike egg hard against the hard surface, with the pointy bit (releases the gases trapped inside which are what create the vaccuum that keeps the egg hanging on tightly to its shell, making it difficult to peel)
3) continue to hold egg loosely in hand, repeatedly hitting egg against hard surface (although more gently than the first strike) until the shell is fractured all over and looks like a jigsaw puzzle (breaks the seal between the shell and the egg surface) (while you do this the egg is kinda bouncing around in your loose grasp)
4) using either an inverted teaspoon or just your hand, “wipe” shell away
5) shell will usually come away from egg in one whole wrinkly munted piece and just “slip” off your nice, smooth egg without leaving any marks or dents on surface of egg.
Ta dah!!! (please send $1 to my forwarding address) (next week, we will tackle the age-old problem of removing false teeth before bed-time)
Aussiegirl ~ We all need to chip in so you could get your own “Hints from Down Under” TV show. I am anxiously awaiting the next installment.
PS – I peel my eggs the same way and I pretent the egg is the P – smash smash smash. Ah, now I feel better.
The goats are actually “meat” goats, but most of ours are kept around to eat the unwanted underbrush in the pastures. They are perfect for that. The babies are so cute !!! I could spend hours just watching them climb and jump. They are also sooooo soft and will suck on your fingers.
Libragirl,
So glad to see you are taking time for yourself and reading some very relevant books. I haven’t read the first one, but I did read the Martha Stout book and it is very good. Pay particular attention to when she talks about lying and what you should suspect if someone lies three or more times.
I’m rooting for you to get away from the toxic relationship. I would bet my left arm that this guy will never change. (And I’m left-handed).
Aussie girl you is mad as a box of frogs. Thanks for the laugh ….and anyway aren’t they the darndest things to peel!!
Milo, I often think of spath boy when I’m chopping/slicing carrots. Mwa hahaha!
Aussie girl, as you know, “fresh” eggs have not developed an “air space” inside the egg, and duck eggs especially are difficult to peel because of this, so I developed this method…since they are goin into egg salad or potato salad the being cut in half doesn’t hurt them for the purpose.
Oh, by the way, I use a -pastry cutter to chop them and it works great I like them chopped very fine in egg salad or even potato salad and the pastry cutter works wonderfully.
Thanks though if I make deviled eggs out of chicken eggs from the store I will use your tip! (they will have air spaces)
Yes, NOT ENGAGING is the only way to deal with these guys who come here.
I had written a nice welcome letter to IT before I checked the blog link, and then I went back and quickly deleted it annd put in an OH my!!! I had seen Henry’s Oh My and didn’t take his HINT, which I should have.
Then I saw Skylar playing with it and poking it with a stick and I thought Oh Shiat! She’s gonna stir it up! LOL Yea, you do deserve a boink, Sky! But I guess she and I BOTH deserve a boink because I called it a meglamaniac and did it in such a way that Henry thought I was calling HIM one. LOL mel coupa
When I saw the picture of IT on the cross and equating itself with Christ and all kinds of good people including MLK, and then ASKING FOR A DONATION! Well, I hit the NOTIFY DONNA link and realized that this creep was saying IT was going to save others from being taken in by Narcissists and psychopaths????? LOL
Kind of like the Captain FELL into the life boat by ACCIDENT! Only an idiot, a 5 year old or a psychopath itself would believe THAT LIE! Crucified? It needs to be, but fortunately that person is so out in space with believing its own lies and projections that there are few and far between potential victims who will fall for anything that outrageous.
D
MiLo –
“We all need to chip in so you could get your own “Hints from Down Under” TV show. I am anxiously awaiting the next installment.”
Well dearie, if EROL can do it…..
strongawoman –
“you is mad as a box of frogs. Thanks for the laugh ”
1) Thankyou for finally noticing; I always USED to be known as the “goon” out of all of my friends, but the spaths I married squished most of my goofiness clean out of me; I was still silly at work, of course, because I worked mostly with 3 – 6 year olds who are a truly appreciative audience for my nonsense, but in the rest of my life (where I am generally taken as a “grown-up”) I had started to become a bit too grim and serious for my liking, what with all that bloody spathiness to try to get myself rid of. Seems I am becoming my own self again! 🙂
2) Making people laugh is one of my favourite things and now that my entire life is no longer being spent in stinking courts with stinking spaths, I hope to do more of it. You are most welcome. x
Oxy –
I actually thought it was just a series of really bad jokes, giving the pricing of the various items and “services” available for purchase. Then the more I read, it seemed to go beyond a joke and became more and more disturbing…I was really tempted to check out the alleged “U-tube stand-up comedy routines” on offer but decided that my one little hit could add to its popularity becoming higher ranked and I didn’t want to be responsible for starting the avalanche of viewings that could not possibly help/amuse/advice ANYONE and that might in fact, damage someone more sensitive than me.
Sheesh!! We DO look very sane from where I’m standing tonight!
Well folks, that’s me for this evening – once again it’s after midnight and I can’t unwind but I MUST get this silly body of mine back into a sensible sleeping/waking routine again before going back to work in just over a week after 6 weeks vacation leave….so goodnight/good day all. xx
Oh – and Hens –
Oh my indeed 🙂