If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Libragirl,
You picked up the phone. You allowed him to hang up on you.
As long as you keep pickingn up the phone and putting up with this, he will do it.
At this point, the only person you can “blame” for this kind of shiat is YOU because YOU ALLOW IT.
You were “looking forward” to his call….and he just wanted something and he was lying (I will bet) about why he is coming home early….and then he is rude to you…well, he has llied to you in the past, taken money from you,, beeen rude and hateful and **WHY** ARE YOU EXPECTING SOMETHING DIFFERENT NOW?
Thhis may not be what you want to hear in the way of “support” but I can’t empathize with someone who said “My thumb hurt” and you say “why?” and they say “well, I keep hitting it with this hammer and it hurts” WELL QUIT LETTING HIM HIT YOUR THUMB with the emotional hammer or quit crying about it. ONLY YOU CAN STOP HIM. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t talk to him.
Libra, what a manipulative narcissist he is. I hope you don’t give in to his manipulation because you will only be angry at yourself if you do. A REAL friend would have been supportive and not selfish and manipulative. A REAL friend would not badger you into doing them favors and make you feel guilty for not doing it. Not only do you have stress at work, but now you have his pity-ass shit to deal with on top of it? Three words for you: Dump. His. Ass. The sooner the better.
I once had a girlfriend who needed a ride. I said no – I was not able to do it. She badgered me over it, saying a REAL friend would never say no to a favor. I disagreed and ended the friendship. You should NEVER allow someone to make you responsible for the functioning of their life.
Libra –
“Spath text: You better never need shit
Me: Why???? Because I’m trying to talk to you about this and you hung up after 3 seconds. Totally unfair. Call me back.
Spath text: Nope. F*** this”
Spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath, spath.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run!!!
IDENTICAL to a conversation I had with Superspath in 2007, the year he left me. CLASSIC DEVALUE and DISCARD stuff, all the while turning it back on you. Get the hell out of it Libra. No time to lose, my conversation like this immediately preceded an attempt on my life.
Oxy ”“
“Did anyone make a donation to it?”
Donation amounts were actually why in the beginning it thought it was a joke and he was just a not-real-funny comedian. Amounts for everything were: 4.44, 44.44, 444.44, 4444.44 etc. (And yes, I was silly enough to read a fair bit of it once I was actually already on the site…………I’m a goose)
Henry –
“you are the 1000th comment on this thread, you win a prize..look under your chair !!!! ”
Nothing there Hens, except a dirty white dawg that musta snuck in through the cat flap in the door …again!! I swear that he can strain himself through solid surfaces, it’s taken me 5 months (since I first got him from the rescue centre) to stop him from escaping a back yard that already looked like Alcatraz! So he has turned his attentions to other forms of naughtiness 🙂
(What WOULD the prize have been though? I’m curious…)
MiLo –
“If you can get my donation back from Erol, you can have it. ”
ROTFLMAO. Knew you weren’t THAT silly!!
Yes, Ox Drover I did pick up the phone. Just like many others have as well, while they are sorting through the fact and fiction of their own lives. I am not seeking empathy. I don’t need it. I’m simply journaling my experience while I sort it all out. The guilt factor for me rings huge and is a true emotion of mine. He hangs up, I feel guilty that I didn’t just ‘agree’ to go pick him up. My flaw? Absolutely.
Do I think he’s coming home early because of a class? No, not at all. Part of why the hit n run conversation he had with me I’m sure.
I can not argue with you. My only defense against further madness is not answering the phone.
Ox I recollect you saying the same thing to me almost 4 years ago, if I had listened sooner my head wouldnt be shaped like a skillet now..
Libra – it’s up to you, he will dance as long as your willing, he has no limit’s. No contact is your only weapon and your ultimate salvation.
Aussiegirl – The prize is a Bozo Button, but I think a little dirty white dog beat’s a bozo button any day…
Wow, the carbon copies of this gene pool huh Aussiegirl? That’s exactly been the formula of many of how our convos. read…me being hurt and bewildered about wth just happened?
Thanks guys. I’m going read The Sociopath next door 🙁
Dear Libragirl,
I know I’m banging you on the head with my cyber cast iron skillet (llike Henry said, his head is shaped flat on top cause I hit him so much with the skillet! LOL) but the thing is he is not going to change, so YOU HAVE TO CHANGE your response to him. NO CONTACT is the only change (in you) that will keep him from hurting you more. Because if you keep in contact with him, he will continue to hurt you, lie to you, etc.
You feeling like you should have just said “I’ll pick you up” is not a VALID feeling, sure it is “REAL” but it is not “valid.” You may FEEL like the sky is falling, but that doesn’t mean it is actually falling, so the feeling is real, but not valid.
You feeling “guilty” is REAL but you have no VALID reason to feel guilty because you have done nothing “wrong.”
Get what I am saying. ALL feelings are real,, but many of them are based on fantasy or shoulds or lots of things, but NOT REALITY.
Keep on reading and reading and reading. The Sociopath next door and articles here. It will set you free…(((hugs))))
Libragirl, focus on how mad and hurt you feel. Is this how you want to feel every day of your life? Don’t you feel you deserve better, honey?
Libra,
rather than tell you what to do, I’m going to ask you why you are still talking to a man who would just as soon kill you as look at you?
Yes, that is exactly true. He really wants to kill you but he can’t get away with it so he’s going to do it a little at a time. He will steal your life one minute or one day at a time. Or he will drive you to suicide. If none of those work, he may eventually just get rid of you himself. He despises you. The good that he shows you is just to keep you coming back for more so he can laugh at you when he disrespects you and you keep asking him to “call me back, I’m entitled to more disrespect”.
So, I’m asking you, why are you still giving him the time of day? What do you expect from him?