If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Welcome BeBe sorry you need to be here but you will find knowledge and healing here. Again, welcome…you are NOT ALONE!
skylar:
I loved your post to bebe. Thank you.
Thank you skylar,
Its soo nice to hear from someone whos been through it. I suppose deep down i know that it will all be better eventually. Especially, when i know i am completely free of him, but i just dont feel that i am yet. I still fear hell come back and either bully me into fixing all of this for him or come up with some big story and apology about how he is gonna change and i fear that ill believe every word,even though i feel that im stronger than that now. But i have to see him on the tenth for a restraining order hearing(if he shows) and im afraid that hell lie about everything and theyll believe it ….hes really good at that. He knows he has angles against me and he thinks he can hold things over me. But the fact is he is a huge liar and everyone knows it now…but i know for a fact he is just going about his lifestyle completely fine like nothing is wrong and eveything is going to be fine because that is how he is. My are roommates are going to prosecute him for fraud and I dont think hes worried at all. Which scares the crap out of me because I have no Idea what kind of story hes concocting in his head. I just want this all to be over so i can try to do just what you said… “heal”
Ox Drover,
Thank you. Dont get me wrong i dont wish this on anyone, But it is so relieving to know im not the only one. It feels good to talk here..not like when i try to explain to friends and family. They are very supportive but I find it hard to believe that they actually understand how i feel. I love that they are here for me no matter what and for that ill be forever grateful
but it is frustrating to talk to someone and feel like you cant fully explain you feelings, or dont know how to. After all, how can i explain something i have yet to fully understand myself?
Bebe, yes, NOT BEING ALONE is very important, when I came here and found other smart, successful women who had been conned, I found “soul mates” and it was so gratifying to know I was NOT alone. LOL
It is okay to feel glad to NOT be alone. Glad you found your way here, this is the best site in the world I think and saved my sanity. Keep on READING and learning,, that is the key to survival and healing and growth.
Dear Bebe, you have come to the best place, for what you have been thru. Everyone here knows Exactly how you feel! For me, this is the only outlet i have to maintain my sanity. Family and friends can be sympathetic, however THEY ARE NOT LIVING IT. We have been violated in every sense of the word…and then some. The demon i am dealing with is no longer in my home, but his “residue” is… and it is in my head. The emotional trama that i have been thru is at times too much to bear, even now. He has been gone 4 monts now, and am having a difficult time getting ME back, though i fight for me, because i have no one to defend me…but me. One of the things i try to keep in mind, is not to take what he has done to me….personal! This dirtbag pisa shit will move on, to do it to someone else, and he will. People like him feed off of the decency of people like us, for they have no goodness in themselves. Paracitic predators….human tics that feed off the lives of others. Stay strong Bebe! Fight for yourself! GET YOURSELF BACK! Resolve yourself to be your best Champion! Thats what i, myself am fighting to do! I’M TAKING BACK WHAT THAT S.O.B ROBBED ME OF! My self-respect, dignity, joy, hope, laughter, and so on!! All of it! Keep.reading here, there is much wisdom from everyone here! Best wishes on your recovery road!
Thanks Louise,
You were in my dream last night. Surprisingly, you didn’t look ANYTHING like I imagined you would! 🙂
It was a long complicated dream in which LF was having a conference and I was attending. Well of course several spaths I know showed up, including the uber exspath. He was naked.
In the dream, I had some papers to give you. It was a vaccination certificate! lol! I was asking around for you and finally found you.
Sky, would that be a vaccine against spaths? 😉 A naked spath, sounds like an unmasked one, not able to fool you anymore.
Darwinsmom,
LOL! that is exactly what I was thinking. I wasn’t the least bit afraid of him. Though I was disgusted by him.
Radar_on and Ox Drover,
Thank you I will keep reading it is helping alot…In fact, I cant stop every free chance I get I am researching and asking questions. If I dont I find my self sulking in self pity and I DONT want to live that way anymore. Thank you all for understanding I cant tell you what it means to me.