If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Gods child…In my opinion, forget about confronting him at all…about anything…especially that he is a sociopath. He will laugh at you. I’ve tried that with my xhusb…I told him that the therapist said that he has NPD. He just laughed.
You can’t confront EVIL. You just need to get yourself strong now…REALLY strong. Thats what I am working on after a 7 yr marriage and three kids with one….(divorced him 8 yrs ago and thought I was “healed”) and the two year r/s with another socio that I just ended…(after going back to him in October after 3 months of NC!!!)
I FINALLY understand it all and ACCEPT the fact that I was too weak emotionally and that I “settled” for his lies because I A- was in denial about what I “felt” he was and B- my self esteem was SO low..I thought I’d never meet another man in my life.
So, now, since February, I am NOT broken. I am STRONGER now than ever…I was able to DELETE people from my life that I know are sociopaths…and I am bringing NORMAL people into my life to replace the unhealthy relationships. In time…I know that I will be ok. Right now I am SAFE because of Awareness and ACCEPTANCE that these EVIL PEOPLE exist. FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY…I am not doubting my intuition about people…and ..even though I am alone alot..I will venture out into the world again …slowly and cautiously…and I learned a valuable lesson…LISTEN TO YOUR INNER GUIDANCE SYSTEM…its there working for you.
When you violate it…you only bring trouble and misery into your life.
Read the book..”Emotional Blackmail”. It taught me the skills of how to deal with my xhusb..since he is the father of my chilodren and he was trying to haunt me when we first got divorced…his exact words were …”I will haunt you forever” and then he laughed the most evil laugh I ever heard in my life.
THANK GOD…that he ran to Florida to avoid getting put in jail for nonpayment of child support. Even though I don’t get the money anymore…I don’t have to deal with him. I’d rather work 3 jobs than deal with him!
So…work on YOU now. We are survivors here…no longer victims.
Knowledge is power. All women should know about this.
Ox, I forgive you the bunny, if you send me a duck. I had a pet one, and their eggs are bigger, more to color, LOL.
When my mom moved out of the house, guess who was the only sibling close enough to take care of it? Being in one state over instead of being smart like my brothers and putting most of the country between them and “home”. Vindication came for me when I read in her own hand writting (she wrote about herself in the 3rd person) that she planned to take my daughter from me from the moment the baby was born. She eventually succeeded too. I’d suspected, but told myself I was just being paranoid. Nope, confirmation. I may not be the most stable fool in the deck, but it’s better than being a malignant joker!
I’ll leave the “fool” in my name until I’ve passed a full year without being taken in by someone. Three months and counting….at least I catch on faster and damage control is better. I’ve learned to ruthlessly kick out the bad guys without regrets or appologies. I no longer make friends simply because someone starts following me around and I’m flattered they like me. I’m not dating, but when someone suggests it, I say not without running a full security check first. I’m serious too. So far the only ones who find me irisistable are always under my daughter’s age. Not much temptation to date under thirties when I’m over fifties, LOL.
Thanks, this is great info, and you hit it right on the head.
The crazy thing is that people don’t seek answers until they, are ,already living the nightmare.
Unless, you know someone that has had a psycho encounter,
and has shared their experiences with you, must people
don’t even think about psychos.
But once you have been touched by one, you never forget.
Sure, psychos are in pain, but so what, so are you, and worse
I met a psycho, that had all those characteristics and more,
and I didn’t know, I thought I was blessed, I was so lucky meeting the woman of my dreams. Yes, she was sexy, beautiful, charming, and empty, never got an answer, and she looked at me with this intense look, I thought she was hot, and very interested in me.
I felt special,,,,,
I soon discovered she was a Demon, I went thru hell, and back, and much more, between the threats, the scenes,
the lies, screams, knocking at my door all night long,
fights, jail, cops, you name it,
I fought, and fought, exposed her, and finally thru the Grace
of God got rid of her.
This is a great site, it educates, and helps people heal, it’s messed up to realize you have been taken, and you have allowed it, mentally. physically, but it’s also great to find other people that have also gone thru the same BS..
And here we can share, our strengths, our hopes, our encounters.
Psychos pick people that are good, that have a kind heart, that help others, because they know they can manipulate you
and they find your weak point, and use it against you.
THe bottom line is they don’t care about you, or anyone,
they cannot love, they do not change, and when they get bored, they find someone else, You think you are going crazy,
and you feel helpless, you just can’t get out.
You can’t win, so my advice to you is run and don’t look back,
or keep coming back, until you can run.
These monsters we are supposed to have compassion for could of killed us and saved us alot of whining and self pity I guess.. Do they feel compassion for us? I dont think so..I am going to go chew my tounge (fingers) off before I offend somebody….
great list-btw ya’ll, my ex fit every single point on the list-the loser!
Henry, you make me ROTFLMBO! Your point so well crafted in such a SERIOUS thread.WHEW! Thanks for giving me a good laugh to change the somber mood. Something about the sarcasm in “could of killed us and saved us alot of whining and self pity I guess… JUST hit the spot for me guys, I’m sorry but that was pretty dang funny!!
Ah henry, I guess it is better to chew your leg or arm off than be stuck in the psychopath’s trap. I know one thing, you made me giggle too!
I needed it too, I tripped over stuff (just call me gracie) stacked in the hall way I was moving out of the house, hit the door in the spare bedroom and drove the knob into the wall and made a big HOLE I have to patch now! Sheesh! I just make more mess for myself to fix!
Jerked 5 pounds of meat today! YUM!!!!! fixed sausage gravy and biscuits for supper! Washed it down with a big glass of goat milk and blew the heck out of my diet and I don’t care! GREAT DAY! Plus, a giggle from my man Henry! ((((hugs)))) You could never offend anyone my darlink!!!!!!
Henry,
Yikes, don’t chew your fingers off! You need them to make us laugh over here when things get to serious…..
You really are too funny!
HaHa Oxy sounds like you had a bad day too. Some asshole stole my blower off the back of my truck today and I knew who did it and I tracked him down and confronted the bastard. He said he picked it up by mistake – my ass – i know his boss is a good guy but it wasnt no mistake and I was spitting mad and ready to fight…It all started this morning when I read Charlottes post – I was thinking you know she is right and I pondered on it all day and got madder and madder..you all have heard me say the xspath hole i was involved with was broken and had issues and despite all he did I hope he is OK………well fuck that – it is my compassion that he took advantage of, it is my caring and kindness that he manipulated me with and he did it with cold calculated intent and when I was fed up he knew my compassion was gone so he went and found him some new compassion – So I am stewing mad and my comment wasnt meant to be funny but I am tickled pink I made my friends giggle.