If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
skylar:
I know! Don’t you love that he said that to me?? I have to say…when he said that, I do remember feeling instantly “weird” about it. That was almost three years ago. I remember thinking…hmmmm, yeah, we all do have something going on in our lives, BUT…you could tell it was his way of blowing off the seriousness of the situation. He wanted what he wanted and he was going to say whatever he needed to say to get it. Classic without a doubt and I agree…mofo.
Gosh, I NEVER thought about that and my money! UGGHHH. I do have to say though…he did try pretty hard to get me to stay. He didn’t want me to give up my job. What are your thoughts on that?
Skylar, we posted over one another – but you made a comment about spaths attempting to drive their targets insane and, again, 100% spot-on.
The exspath attempted (and, FAILED) to make me believe that I was mentally ill, through suggestion and outright accusations. When THAT didn’t work, he began attempting to set up excuses by way of being “bi-polar.” No kidding.
Spaths will change as many horses in the middle of a given stream if they believe it’s going to benefit them, somehow.
Brightest blessings
Truthspeak:
I am so glad to hear you are feeling better. Yay for you!!! 🙂
Skylar – I knew that!! I’ve spoken (via posts) to you so many different times, dont even ask me why I posted the “he” – Brain Fart moment 🙂
Edit: I “should” have known that!
Truthy,
great attitude, can I borrow it? Edit: yes, mine called the suicide hotline to report my suicide attempt! As IF! I’m Catholic!
Louise, he wanted you to stay because he wasn’t done with you. How much better if you had been carted off to the looney bin or tried to kill yourself? Or taken up a gun to shoot the OW and gone to prison? Wouldn’t that have been much better drama for him to eat? Do you think he would’ve used a spoon or a fork?
😛
skylar:
Bingo! Exactly right again. He was not done with me and he proved that by coming back despite my leaving. He is done now.
Neither, I think he would have used his fingers! 🙂
😆 rotflmao
Skylar,
I had to make a choice to forgive them. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t excuse what they did though. It just lets you become free. Can’t remember who says it but…“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person’s throat.”
”• Wm. Paul Young, The Shack
(GUFFAW)……you know, I have actually found myself LAUGHING at what a cocknose the exspath is, lately. I mean…..really…..REALLY?! What a boob….
I am SO grateful that I’ll never have to hear his voice, smell his vile body odor, or fear for my life on account of him, again.
As a strict aside, he really had the weirdest body odor of any human being I’ve ever met. He always smelled like raw steak that was a couple of days gone over.
Now, what does THAT have to do with anything? Holy moley…..no more coffee after 4pm for ME!
Daisy, yepper – forgiveness is for US, not them.
And, there is the epic quote from the B-52’s “Love Shack” and it’s, “Tin Roof…..RUSTED!” What that has to do with anything, I don’t know, but it seem appropriate, right now.
Sheeyit, no more coffee after 4, I SWEAR!!!