If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
sabrina
Wits, I hope you are doing well. Any new news with you? I dont know if you saw where my son saw MY computer with LF and started-as you say the circular conversation. I wanted to tell you, I REALLY likedyour recent post,it is full of wisdom. The comment re: spaths don’t hit rock bottom (sorry, not the exact verbage) was spot on. Fact is in their heads, they are always the star of the show-” Enough about ME, lets talk some more about- uhh- ME!!
conomo
Henry…your comments ARE hilarious!!! I haven’t found Charlotte’s post yet but can see it struck some raw nerves here. That’s good because it makes us FACE and analyze our feelings and hopefully reflect honestly, whatever that means for each of us, wherever we are in the process in healing from the S.
I still flip from feeling anger and sympathy even though I am 99.9% convinced neither will make a difference in THEIR behaviour.
All we can do is work on us now. Good for you for getting your blower back!! Tulips out now. 😉
Rosa
Henry:
Go Henry. You deserve a good rant after the day you had.
I assume you got the blower back.
There’s a reason you kept getting madder and madder after reading that post. It’s called gaslighting…when someone tries to manipulate you into their twisted way of thinking.
It’s very insidious.
sabrina
Charlotte has been badly abused by a spath (deaf in one ear from beatings), I am sorry for what she has been thru, and I sincerely hope she stays on this site, and feels free to post and learn. I think there is a significant chance that she is trauma bonded still and stockholm syndrome rings strongly as she said that we treat them (spaths) like dirt. I disagree with those points that you have made,Charlotte, but I congratulate you for getting out alive and wish you well.
conomo
wow charlotte…i totally get what you said because of my recent radical acceptance retreat … we really can’t move on til we know that they do what they do because the are compelled to …just like we were compelled to believe them and stay in the chaos for whatever reasons…need for love of family or life loves….I may not be popular for this comment…but that’s ok too….all we get to do is be familiar with ourselves ….not to say that we don’t protect ourselves…and lovefraud gives us tools and validation for the experience…the world is UNSAFE AND UNFAIR..without a doubt…we are SURVIVORS if we came here in the first place…some of us (me included) may not have survived if we hadn’t found this site and blog!! I have no closing remarks….just a two cents ….quarter may come…YEE HAW WE ARE SURVIVORS!!!
mch79157
With regards to “charlottecreamer” comments: You made some very good points. And I agree with some of them. People shouldn’t carry there victim facade around with them.
However, research the word “SOCIOPATH” and “PSYCHOPATH”. They DO NOT know how to process emotions and CAN NOT process conscience. Thats a FACT. Proven fact. Look it up. Don’t say that they can. Research your words before you write them.
With other types of personality disorders, yes, some can process conscience and do have one. However, some DO NOT. Narcissistic people can, by definition. They are hurt inside. Again, by definition. However, sociopaths and psychopaths do not have a conscience, and they never will, by definition.
Again, RESEARCH your thoughts and words first. Its taken me awhile to do this myself. I’ve been taken and hurt and used by people in my life. I’ve experienced it. I agree with you that they don’t deserve the power and to not drag victimhood around. However, the socioapth doesn’t care about anything. At all.
Just a thought….Would you say all that you have said to a RAPE victim? Huh? Look at yourself in the mirror and answer that. Better yet, ask someone who has been raped and listen to them and see what they have to say. Talk to someone who has been used and abused against there own will. Tell THEM what you have to say. Then see how they react. Talk to a victim and get there response. Its not black and white in today’s world. When you are hurt by someone who doesn’t care about how you feel AT ALL, then you’ll understand. Again, PLEASE RESEARCH YOUR INFO BEFORE SPEAKING.
Again, for your future and to help you, look stuff up. Thats what Google is for. Thats what therapists are for. Find stuff out before you go talk about it and present your supposed “facts” to the world. For everyone’s sake. Thanks.
sabrina
stockholm syndrome- a paradoxical psychological phenomenon where the hostage expresses and has positive feelings toward their abusers (captors).Over time they can become sympathetic to their captors.
ErinBrock
Hens….
Don’t worry about offending anyone….by expressing your feelings…..I just ‘blurt’ mine out, I know my words don’t get typed as I would like…..others here are MUCH better at expressing….
And besides……YOU worrying about being offensive…..Look at oxy over there, talking about all the meat she’s jerked today!”……and following it up with a fall through a door from being dizzy…..(or something like that!)
🙂
Glad you got your blower back…..those things are way handy….
I remember watching some hoodwinks drive up the top of my driveway and load my carved Bear into their car…..I saw it from my cameras……I ran out there and they acted all weird and innocent and said….Oh, we thought it was trash….Uh;…YEAH…NOT….does it LOOK like trash???
I’ve since chained it to a log with a sensor…..and funny enough…its not been bothered since.
tobehappy
I was reading a magazine article tonite about Christie Brinkly.
The first sentence said..”She had a bout with the DEVIL”
Evidently her husband cheated on her with an 18 yr old woman. WTF? She said to the interviewer that she couldn’t even talk about it. It was devastating. But, now she has gotten into HERSELF…her spirituality has never been stronger.
So,….I thought….wow..if a beautiful woman like that could be duped….and devastated….
It just proves that these DEVILS are everywhere…and noone is immune to them…(except US now..lol)
hens
Hey ErinB I think every body in CO. has one of them carved bears, my favorite one has a sign that says “it’s five oclock somewhere” – Yes Ox had a good day – five pounds? wow