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10 Signs that you’re dating a sociopath

You are here: Home / Explaining the sociopath / 10 Signs that you’re dating a sociopath

April 12, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  1,523 Comments

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If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.

1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.

2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.

3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.

4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.

5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.

6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.

7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.

8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.

9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.

10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.

For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Previous Post: « New York book club to discuss ‘The Sociopath Next Door’
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Daisy

    January 3, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Denver,

    How long has it been over for you?

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  2. denbroncos007

    January 3, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    Daisy –
    Not long, which is why I am still a bit frazzled. It’s been 4 weeks 4 days exactly — Surprisingly, I don’t know the minutes and seconds! 🙂

    I actually felt I would have heard from him over the holidays — because I left his wrapped Xmas present at his house and in some sick way I thought he might have sent a thank you text — but nothing. I know he is involved with someone else, so am sure that keeps him occupied. I am glad he hasnt reached out to me and also kind of sad….

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  3. Louise

    January 3, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    Thanks everyone with the spanish translation. I think I got it!

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  4. Ox Drover

    January 3, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    Denbronco, I agree Skylar is a GEM to Love Fraud, but SHE is the gem, not him. LOL

    Louise the Bible says “all things work together for good to those who love the Lord” and so I BELIEVE THAT..ALL things, even the “bad” things can turn out to have been blessings…even if only as LESSONS.

    We must keep our faith…faith in ourselves and faith is whatever spirituality we have. LIke Erin Brock says, everything happens for a reason.

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  5. Louise

    January 3, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    denbroncos007:

    If he knew you would be better off without him, then WHY wouldn’t HE end it? It doesn’t make sense to me, but nothing does. They are cowards. They really are p*ssies. Sorry for the vulgar language, but it is true.

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  6. Louise

    January 3, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    denbroncos007:

    When they are involved with someone else, it does keep them occupied, but he is probably wondering the same thing about you and why you haven’t reached out…DON’T. My guess is if this relationship falls apart, he’ll contact you.

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  7. denbroncos007

    January 3, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    Louise,
    I am in agreement with you — his reasoning was because we had this “chemistry” – he was miserable w/o me. That was what he told me and stupid me believed that him and I had some “cosmic chemistry” — he would always tell me that it’s so hard to find people who have this chemistry. And him and I had it so it was hard to let go —

    Doesnt it sound so twisted to where no wonder why I went crazy with ALL the mixed signals — hmmmm…..we have this cosmic chemistry, but not cosmic enough becasue he was out screwing other woman! Unreal!

    Ox Drover – Yes, I now realize Skylar is a “She-Gem” – LOL! Thanks to everyone for correcting me and sorry to Skylar for the goof!

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  8. Louise

    January 3, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    Oxy:

    Everything does sure work out for the good and I love that verse. I think one of the best ones in the Bible!

    Log in to Reply
  9. Louise

    January 3, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    denbroncos007:

    I can totally see why he drove you nuts! Wow. It’s really too bad, but just think…you don’t have to deal with all that crazy making now. If you had that kind of chemistry, you can bet he’ll be back.

    Log in to Reply
  10. denbroncos007

    January 3, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    Louise – you have been such a godsend to me today; talking with you through posts puts me at such ease when I was feeling like I missed and wanted to reach out to the spath! Thank you thank you thank you thank you! I can’t thank you enough!

    Trust me…..I have NO PLANS to contact him!!! 😉 He has a few women he hangs onto that have no idea what he really is – but he typically has ONE that is his “main” person, the others he enjoys “playing/sleeping” with but the main one is the one who, well was like me!

    I should have seen one red flag before I got involved with him, it was when him and I were just friends. He was seeing a married woman, and didnt really want her to himself – but he went so far as to get her a cell phone that was called the “EXPSATH NAME” phone so they could communicate w/o the husband finding out. Before i dumped him, I found out he had two married women he was “courting” one he actually slept with and continued to sleep with – then on the side he had about 3-4 other woman whom were just “friends w/ benefits.” All this under my nose, while I was the “main” one in his life — everyone else was given him the other supply demands that I guess I didnt meet….

    In all honestly, I have no trust in men right now…period! and that’s sad becasue there are good men out there I’m sure

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