If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
bebe09
Thank you …. yes some of them were very sad. Maybe it was the way i said it that made him grant it i was very nervous and scared.
bebe09
My therapist told me he was a sociopath today. I didn’t even bring it up she just said it based on what i had told her. That made me feel better. Hearing it from more and more people especially professionals makes it more real and makes me feel less like a crazy person.
Truthspeak
Bebe09, there you go – it’s now a fact and not just a suspicious “feeling.”
I often caution people who engage in counseling therapy to avoid the temptation of naming the spath as, “Sociopath.” For whatever reason, if a client utters this term in association with the person who has so thoroughly damaged them, counselors get a little miffed and begin to draw away, especially if they don’t “get it.” So, when a counselor says, “From everything you’ve described, he/she sounds anit-social (or, sociopathic),” it is a tremendous validation that we were NOT crazy or imagining things or blowing them out of proportion.
You are certainly NOT a “crazy person,” Bebe. You’re just trying to process what you’ve experienced. Good for you!
Brightest blessings
bebe09
Ya thats exactly how i felt. what you said makes sense though which is why i didnt want o say anything to her.
mo mac
oh yes!
1) None more charming….charm personified in fact. Dazzling charisma..first impressions..when in the mode.
2) Oh yes! ‘Big in oil’ self proclaimed… top runner…. charmer in the crowd. Wit and repartee galore.
3) Oh yes! I actually felt sorry and REALLY worried he was falling so hard and fast! WTF mode describes it perfectly! I was THE ONE, our ‘souls had met their mates’. Sent music, poetry, endless love letters and cards. An astonishing production of cut and paste bullshit. Saw the very same words written to another sister! CHILLING! Rather like the work of a serial killer. Attention to detail par excellence. He was ‘my tree, root and branch’.. Oh ha ha ha ha ah.. me and the others on the rota.
4) Oh yes! The cold silent treatment. Extraordinary switch from on to off…. the day after a heart wrenching love letter. So f’ing confusing.
5) Oh yes! the cold hearted 2nd wife, the infertile 1st wife, the abusive parents… the judgement of others who didn’t know the truth! TRUTH!!! HA HA HA, From a SPATH! THE OTHERS…did any of you get that? their paranoia?
6) OH yes! The master CON artist. Fake credentials, age, qualifications, relationship history…JAW dropping and incomprehensible to empaths….and only revealed to some victims I bet.I was lucky enough to piece together local knowledge and meet the next target.
7) OH yes! Shark’s eyes. One time in particular caught It unaware….looking so so predatory. I got icy chill in my stomach and ignored it. Fingers in ears going ‘DA DA DA DA@
8) Oh yes! Marriage number 3 no obstacle…That we know of!!! ha ha ha .our ‘beautiful future’ was its mantra…
9) Oh yes! Non stop. That little boy lost look. His abusive childhood, beaten up, his loveless marriage, cold ex… Oh yes. that got me really hooked.
10) Oh yes! Constant, giddy, mind blowing, unprecedented ‘passion’
And it’s ALL a charade, a game, an illusion. Every word, caress, is a lie. as one writer put it. A lie from Hi to Good bye, we must educate and protect others who may not make it out of it safely.
Tea Light
Mo mac, “I was THE ONE, our ’souls had met their mates’. Sent music, poetry, endless love letters and cards. An astonishing production of cut and paste bullshit”. Oh, you too! Last line had me laughing out loud thanks x
behind_blue_eyes
Mo Mac;
I at least score an 8/10 on your Sociopath checklist. The only difference is that mine did not present “fake credentials,” at least in a career/professional way…
His fake credential were more personal…
Learus Ohnine
http://learus.wordpress.com/2013/03/04/the-sociopath-a-social-terrorist-part-1/
Enough said.
Source: 22 years of dealing with (and defeating) sociopaths.
Disenchanted
Yep, my husband is an astounding 10 for 10.
blossom4th
I thought this article is a great reminder of red flags to be looking for for those who may be brave enough to start looking for another relationship….and I get to dedicate another song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCwLsXZnFl4
fightforwhatsright
I personally can’t see this list enough. And music and lyrics are also really good on this song. Music changes the brain and I have a background in music and a very musical family on both sides so feel music very deeply. Thanks, Blossom!