If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
No lie but everything listed here is what my dad’s x gf told me how this is really true and evident. This really helpful, too. Lord. I can’t pin point enough some of the signs listed here. Thanks a lot Donna for this! This helps people become more aware.
Donna,
Great easy peasy list. thank you. I’m going to pass this on to my 14 year old niece, my sons who are young men and all the other young kids I know who are embarking on the dating scene.
Bulletproof,
Lol….I fully agree this should come as a warning label EVERYWHERE….it should be especially taught in high school sex ed. and should be printed in bold on all internet dating sites.
Donna:
Great List. Oh, if I had only read it before I met my S-ex.
Regarding #4 – the Jekyll and Hyde personality — I’d add that you generally see this trait somewhere around the end of month 3, when the honeymoon period and lovebombing is over because they know they’ve got you hooked. Because until this trait apears, the victim is having a walk in the clouds.
Donna,
What if you sent this Top 10 List to David Letterman. Perhpas he would read it at a time when there’s a story in the media about a Sociopath.
Better yet, you could send this to Oprah and then you and the other authors could appear on Oprah… And your LoveFraud Readers could fill the audience. :O)
Wouldn’t that be AWESOME!
The only thing bad would be that the LoveFraud site would be crashed after Oprah aired and you would get about 10 million hits and the community would be lost and Oxy would lose her mind trying to greet all the new people.
Let’s think this through carefully…. hmmmm.
No, we need Oprah. Can you imagine how many people would have their eyes opened?
aloha that was funny thanks for the chuckle – yes our oxy’s computer would catch on fire for sure :)~
I wish I knew about this stuff before meeting the person described above. The intense eye contact makes you think that person is interested only in you. There were some staff meetings with over 100 people in them at our school where said person stared at me almost non-stop for like 1& 1/2 hours. It was almost like that game if you blink you lose. Then other times she would ignore me totally like I was a non-person even though we were right next to each other, and then ask me what was wrong- why I didn’t want to play anymore. It was just like Shekyll and Shyde. At least all that is way behind me now. I have come to appreciate even more those that have loved me all along.
Teacher:
If you have loved ones who hjave stuck with you through an experience with a spath……you are a very fortunate person!!
Count your blessings darling!!
eb that is so true…I will say one thing for the xspath, he killed that illusion I had. he wasnt an illusion, he became MY illusion of whatever faulted ideas of love I had – there is no desire of ever trying to fulfill that again, not even with my new found awareness of them – I am just fine alone. and i do have people who have loved me through it all.
Henry,
It is enlightening and freeing when you get the clarity and awareness of the S….but don’t loose your dreams and “illusions” of love …you know WHAT REAL LOVE IS… when you have people that trully love you and stick by you through those darkest hours, that a NON-SOCIOPATHIC partener can and does exist out there….we are just smarter now and wont fall “head over heals” and be BLINDED BY THE SPATH LIES AGIAN.