If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
There are so many triggers…….own them…sound bytes?? I am not the prolific poster that you need…but I am real….if nothing else…I come on this site for a number of reasons…honesty…integrity…that’s all I can claim..I hope y’all don’t think y’all have all the answers
You know folks in the end ..we do what we need to do…Walmart is evil (in my opinion) — that takes research…it is so hard to tell who is the good guy…I think many of us hav the validation we want….but is it the validation we need. Best scenario is the truth!!!!!!!!!
Silver:
“Or you just desensitize by facing the triggers and getting over it. ”
Funny, right before I read this post from you, I was thinking….wow….how calm I am today/yesterday…..
I am NOT the crazy anxiety -looking out the windows and feeling like i’m being watched…..today!!! Like Thur-Sunday…..when Jr had his surgery and i was emotionally exhausted…..and got the call from the Sheriff spath was in town!
NOW…..i am not sure I care if he’s watching me…..that’s HIS problem……
I got out today, didn’t care if I left snow tracks in my driveway showing if I was home or not…..I just drove off….
Went out to dinner with the kids…..and got out in town today…..
I think, after the initial WOAH….shock…..sending my mind racing, omg what do I do, lock the doors etc…..I think i’m desensatised to it…..
I thought, ya know eb….he COULD move back to my small town ….THEN WHAT….so I need to accept, it’s a big world and it may be a small world…..but either way, I need to live in MY world and carry on without his effects……
The gal at the bank today was telling me she thought we should GET BACK TOGEHTER??? WTF????
NOT!
She said, he loves you and he’s torn up over losing you….
I simply said….HE SHOULD BE!!!!
I told her Please don’t perpetuate that thought in him…….
THank you!
Silver…also….you and Buttons letters today were powerful….Anything we can do…..we must……Good going you two!!!
Oh woman……I dont know what to say?? I am not the target you wish to nail?
Then u might know .
i AM AN ASHHHOLE…….. SSO
One thing I learned from a wonderful client, who has since passed………
If you have nothing to say…….say nothing.
Goodnight.
WHO SAYS?? You have me pegged
..
Well Done Erin Brock! Good Call!
My Anxiety levels were also shot for a long time. I always locked the doors, made sure all the curtains were closed, always looked behind me and surveyed and the shops I went into before entering. Then one day I woke up and said stuff it! I would rather a suprise attack than him still controlling my emotions each day/ I had to start living and not a life of fear but a life of fun and joy with the kids.
Bravo! tobehappy it is so nice hear you feel empowered by your experiences finally… You go girl! Keep your head held high, stay strong and the S’s will walk the other way. You are not there type anymore lol
Hello All,
I’m a bit behind but I can not disagree with Charlotte Screamer strongly enough when it comes to my own experience as well as the experience of several others I’ve met here on Lovefraud.
These people KNOW exactly what they are doing and YES they do set out to hurt us…their ultimate goal is to win and that’s just what they do. You say you hold yourself responsible for going back into the relationship several times? Some of us were involved with these people for years, thought we were living totally normal lives and only learned years later after a sudden discard that we were some part of the twisted game that they choose to play. I never left because I never had any reason to. So, how am I responsible? As far as I could tell, I had the perfect marriage for 8 long years. I had NO idea that my husband was leading a double life behind my back. That’s how good he is at what he does! This takes SKILL on the sociopath’s part. Never once did he give me reason not to trust him or believe that I was not the “love of his life” and this was an 8 year marriage! And, I wasn’t born yesterday…I had been involved with all kinds before him and believed that it was he and only he who had ever truely loved me.
He will NEVER heal because he is totally content with who he is and loves himself above all others. He honestly believes that he is superior and it is his RIGHT to take advantage of others. He actually laughs about it! It’s what he ENJOYS doing.
I don’t even feel that “heal” is the correct word as I understand that there is NO cure for his condition. I am far past being a scorned or jilted ex. I was no different from any of the other women that were a part of his past nor his present. He will do what he does until the day he dies.
I have to question whether you were involved with a true sociopath. Forgiving them is not easy because they are never sorry for what they did to you. Forgetting them as the people we believed them to be is the only thing that we can do to help ourselves because NOTHING about them was ever REAL. But, we must NEVER forget the the person that we learned they were once they took the mask off. That, in itself, is our first step in educating ourselves of the dangers of these people. And, education is the key to preventing us from becoming involved with others like them in the future.