If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
EB – i read about the ex. well, isn’t that a little bit of awesome! you called it when you said that you figured he was aroudn for the harvest.
what’s happened in the last few days? any movement?
ty for your advice – yet again, to sit and think. it really is very good advice.
xxx one step
Buttons
Eb & Benzthere, power to you, both! Benz, as I was reading the chronological account, it just confirmed that the legal system truly is blind. What does it take, I often scream out loud when I’m alone! What invisible line must the spaths cross before they’re held accountable? (sigh)
ErinBrock
Buttons~ Thank you darlen!
What does it take….the only answer I have found is PATIENCE and one pissed off woman, on a mission!
🙂
ErinBrock
One:
Very nice huh!!!!..
Patience…..thinking, pondering, and more patience…..
Buttons
EB….patience is the key, and Brightest Blessings on you!!!
Benzthere
ErinBrock and Buttons,
Erin, you understand perfectly. Justice can be a frustrating journey, indeed a duty just as you said, especially for the naive but law abiding citizen. But after talking to many other women who had been caught up in his web throughout his life, it was the only choice to make–and one I’d repeat in a heartbeat. Forward progress was an acceptable compromise.
Buttons, thank you for your comments. EB is right on again, there’s nothing wrong with an enduring jolt of constructive anger. Faith and patience worked for me too.
Fortunately I escaped relatively unscathed physically, but I didn’t protect my emotions nearly as well. I have learned much, lovefraud was my map a long time ago, and I have moved on. Life is good and the white, hot intensity of this experience has faded into a dull acceptance of reality, just as I believe it will for most everyone here now.
What I learned here on LF my ex proved true and I have accurately predicted the path his life has taken since. It’s all about choice and choosing the right path. You are all on a good one here, and my heart is with each one of you.
Benz
verity
Hello lovefraud bloggers, pleased to meet you. Thank you for being there as I’ve had to read for some time now and feel ready to post. I’ve just come out of denial and as the fog clears I am full to the brim with anger. I am afraid I will contact him (over 3 months NC now) so I’m posting here instead. I’m going to need to get it off my chest with people who understand. I hope to make sense but I’ve got possible complex ptsd (seeing psych doc soon) and cannot function too well right now. Thank you thank you for the validation you provide with your posts. xxx
ErinBrock
HI VERITY:
WELCOME and I’m glad your reaching out!!!
First off…..GOOD FOR YOU ON 3 MONTHS NO CONTACT!!!!
Anger is an unsettleing and scarry emotion…..but it will provide insight and progress to your healing.
Education and awareness is key and you are gaining it by reading the articles and posts…..
Your on the right path….give it time and believe in yourself through this process.
Welcome again and I’m glad your here!!!
Stay strong darlen…..remind yourself WHY you went NC…..AND REMAIN NC
XXOO
EB
verity
EB, thank you again. Think I’m going to be saying that a lot. I’m desperate for a witness and some validation.
I just read your good news. Fan-bloody-tastic. Good for you. I posted on here because it was the post that was the final confirmation that YES HE IS A SOCIOPATH! Or a Narc. Or a sex addict with sociopathic tendencies. Dangerous man anyhoo.Glad to be able to say it instead of doubting myself all the time. But it’s good to be posting under some good news about justice being done. Thanks for the welcome EB. xxx
ErinBrock
Verity:
Validation is something that we all need after our lives with a spath……doubting ourselves at every curve, being doubted…keeping our mouths shut and being stiffled…..because our lives are so ‘crazy’ and hidden…..NO one could believe us…..
I assure you, you will find validation here on LF…..
We’ve walked the walk with ya darlen! No doubting around here……
Whatever he is……don’t concentrate on it…..If he’s TOXIC he’s toxic…..and its NOT healthy.
If you don’t feel good in the relationship…..GET OUT!
Simple…..
and you did…..THAT IS THE BIGGEST MOVE!
WE must learn ot give ourselves credit for what we have achieved with each step….
You got out….and your NC….
HUGE moves!!!!
Take the empowerment and build on it….take it from your accomplishments and grab it from anywhere……
We need to remain strong women…..and we will conquor ANYTHING……
ROOOAAAARRRRRRR! 🙂
Justice is there for the ‘making’……
Please believe….you WILL be okay….
XXOO
EB