If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
ErinBrock
YOU GO!
Outlier
First time in my life I spoke affirmations to myself in the mirror. Deliberate vowelly affirmations, watching my lips, my eyes, my soul reflect back at me. It is powerful little trick. You gain an alarming sense of control, your brain registers the message you are telling yourself, as daft it seems talking at yourself. Not doing this contains the pain. Doing this releases an opening that releases toxins and toxic hooks.
Buttons
Good for you, Outlier! I had a really strange way of coping last year. I’d been reading “The Book of the Navajo” again after about 20 years and began to consider the importance of voice and dance during “healing” ceremonies. So, all by myself, I began chanting and shuffling my feet. Soon, I was shouting and wailing my frustrations, my fears, and despair at the tops of my lungs and flapping my arms and putting my whole Self into this spontaneous event. When I finally exhausted myself, I felt as if I’d purged a whole lot of toxic stuff out and actually expereinced some inner calm for a while.
Whatever works, Outlier, and I like the affirmations so much! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
Ox Drover
It is always very affirming to me when I see new people come here “crazy” and “Hurt” and then before long they are reaching out a comforting hand and compassion to others. I think the reaching out to others is what helps us to heal. Seeing the people who came here broken and wounded, feeling hopeless and helpless, confused and bitter, angry and every other emotional extreme, come to sanity and HOPE! It is so wonderful and I am so glad that you guys are all doing so well!
Whatever the “magic” is here at LF it is wonderful! God bless you all! (((hugs))))
RFBNow
WOW! Nailed it! I want to thank you all for sharing – I have a long way to go before I will begin to call myself healed but I do believe that I will heal – of course have a longer way to go to “get over” feeling like an idiot –
Ox Drover
Dear RFBNow,
Welcome to LF, and right now “get over” feeling like an idiot! We’ve all been in that place, that’s why you’ve come to the right place. We ALL know what you have been through–maybe the details are a bit different but the experience is the same for us all PAIN & HUMILIATION AND “FEELING LIKE AN IDIOT.” LOL
Knowledge is power, so suck in all the knowledge about them and about healing yourself that you can find—there are over 700 wonderful articles here so READ READ READ !!!!!!!
A great group of supportive folks here from all walks of life, ages, and very diverse! So Welcome to a great place! Stick around a while! God bless.
Feature
I think #32 on Frank Lee Speaking’s list “High Testosterone (large clitoris/sexually aggressive/”pervy” pronounced Adam’s Apple in Females)” is utter sexist bullshit.
neveragain
Here’s one on my list
Incapable of really cracking up about something truly FUNNY (not cruel), with tears streaming down the face, sides aching from laughter.
bulletproof
absolutely back you up in that characteristic on the long list….it’s what woke me up first….He could be good humored all day long but never cracked up laughing….(he VERY creepily acted it out…hairs on back of neck rise..because I KNEW there wasn’t anything funny going on…people on the screen, or anticipating a punch line that never really happened….(subtle English humor that relies on nuance and sensitivity to emotional depth) he would inappropriately belly laugh and I would think in my head…”there is something wrong with this guy….” He didn’t pick up on nuance…just slapstick…and when he reacted to nuance AS slapstick ….I was looking at him like an alien wondering what was he laughing so loudly at!!an asshole, moron, idiot, genius…he got alot of money from me…I’m the chump…the mug..and I’m struggling against the shame….he laughed all the way to the bank….not caring if his “act” was good enough or not…
geminigirl
neveragain,
This is so true, re the side splitting humour ! They,{the spaths ] just dont get it. I actually remember my Son in law playing with the kids, having fun, and him looking at my daughter who was sitting opposite him with a bored expression on her face, and him saying,”Its called FUN, Deb!!”
No imagination either. I think I mentioned when Holly was 3, she and I were scuffling in the Autumn{Fall!} leaves, loooking for fairies.her Mum, my spath D, shouted,
“Come ON Holly!
“Granny and me are looking for Fairies, Mummy!” H. said.
At that minute, i realisd my D. could NEVER see the fairies, only dead leaves.
As somone said,”They hear the words, but not the music.”
I could almost feel sorry for her if I didnt remember the trail of misery and lies and devastation, con jobs, broken promises, broken hearts,shattered lives, they leave in their wake.
Love, Mama gem.XX