If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
OMG – I’m new to this site. Have just read the 10 signs and sadly realise my ex-partner scores 10 out 10.
🙁
Any advice on how you break this addiction?
Dear GREG,
“any advice”? There are 700+ articles here, a book list as long as my arm, and who knows how many bloggers here—-start reading the articles (use the subject/author lists, as the monthly list only goes back a year) and read every one! They may not all apply to you, but most will! KNOWLEDGE=POWER. Take back your power!
Go NO CONTACT! No e mails, no voice mail, don’t listen to their messages, don’t talk to them, don’t see them, don’t let anyone tell you what they said about you, don’t Face Book, don’t twitter.
BLOCK their calls e mail and change the locks! Then the healing can begin! Glad you found your way here, this is a healing place! God bless.
Met one of them recently. BOY, the 10 signs sure do help. But, how scary it is that those who are brilliant, seem to enjoy your company the most and show ability to be really attentive turn out to be so unreliable at the end.
I did not wait to see the end. And – each time I dump a P suitor, I wonder if it’s my PTSD or my newly developed Radar that makes me so unattainable. Ideas?
Dear Getting it,
Glad you saw and heeded the red flags! TOWANDA for you!!!!!
I think it is a combination of your P-dar working for not only 100% psychopaths but for ANY dysfunctional person on the continuum of functionality chart. You know that you are better than and deserve better than a charming loser/abuser.
Anyone can find “someone” but you are not willing to settle for “someone” but you want some ONE that is worth having. If that makes any sense.
I say you are savy, listening to your gut instincts, your intuition that a predator is in the area, and you are not willing to be prey or victim again!!!
PERSONALLY I THINK THAT MAKES YOU ABOUT THE BEST IT GETS!!!! Keep on keeping on! (((hugs))))
Thank you, Oxy, you always come back with a good advise, and I look forward to your words of wisdom.
it’s very difficult to tell when someone is genuine nowadays. I used to trust that everyone says what they think. I discovered, that Ps say what they think too – AT THAT MOMENT. So, it’s very hard to know the balance and not seem like a deer in headlights.
I do so want to have a decent normal relationship now… ah-oh
–
skylar;
My x-spath thought I was far more exciting than he and had a more interesting life. I did not view him as an exciting person, rather more of an observer than participant.
Love Rush too!
behind blue eyes,
then I would be very interested to know you! LOL.
and you love RUSH too!
Ive just been reading more of the comments on this thread and love what charlotte1011 wrote. Not that I agree or disagree but it was very interesting. Yes, I think the sociopath is suffering, but for all the wrong reasons.
There is a story about Lucifer. My N(S?)-mom was not familiar with it and I told her about it, yesterday. Lucifer was God’s FAVORITE angel. The one with a shining bright face and charisma. Then God created Mankind and loved him very much. Lucifer became envious. He wanted to usurp God’s authority and become greater than God. He chose to rule in Hell rather than serve in Heaven. That is what the sociopath chooses, to cut off his own nose to spite his face. This myth is so accurate as to the workings of the sociopath thinking. Like I posted on another thread, the sociopath can be blessed by wealth but they still begrudge the small amounts of social welfare being given to the lesser being (poor people), humanity.
At this point, I need to clarify that I don’t necessarily agree with the social welfare programs, since the lazy sociopaths like my brother, will take advantage of them and since the sociopathic authorities will use them to make people dependant on handouts. But I do believe in mercy. Like we discussed on another thread: it is not the action that counts, it is the intent behind the action.
Back to the point, Yes, it is often true that the sociopath suffered a trauma in childhood. But just as often, they became prideful from being treated as the golden child. My lil sis is one example. My mother, I have not yet figured out. Either she is the most manipulitive sociopath ever or she is as saintly as she appears. I really don’t know, but Jesus said, you will know the tree by the fruit it bears. I have seen the fruit: my sis and bro are EVIL and I’m messed up royally. So I keep my eyes and ears open.
This is another puzzle I have not solved: why are some, like Lucifer, who are treated so well, becoming sociopaths? was it a head injury? was it awareness of something else? I do know that these people believe they are ENTITLED to more. That is the root of their envy.
So, Yes, feel compassion for the sociopath, for they do not know what they do. But don’t be taken in, for they are aware of wanting to hurt you -really bad.
RUSH – first concert i ever went to. paid $5 – when drummer Neil Peart brought his face up from the drums at the end of a solo he was wearing a devil like mask. freaked out all the little stoners.
Skylar,
Your most recent comments are interesting as usual, getting me thinking.