If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
THANKS FOR POSTING THIS INFORMATION.
I AM NEW ON HERE AND THIS HAS CHANGD MY LIFE!!!!
Different.
So glad!!!
LL
Skylar!
Holy shit I laughed out loud at that. How ridiculous! Puke is right!!!!! LOL!!!
SuperKid,
It’s stuff like that which have allowed me to understand the spath. But I’m not really sure WHY he gets off on my fear reactions. I mean, what does it do for him? And is it really because he doesn’t have any? Then why does he want to experience my fear?
Very strange.
Wow……………I totally missed alot of this thread….
So funny, yet so sad…
I sure wish my state would become sunny.
I need an effin vacation.
LL
Skylar,
I woke up this morning with a new observation – born out of your fear/movies/puke observation.
You know how it is when you say goodbye to somebody you love? You give him a kiss on the cheek….then you start walking away, and you turn around and wave after 10 steps or something? Or look out the car window and honk or wave again? Maybe blow a kiss?
Every time I left my spath, I felt like I loved him so much, I always turned around to wave goodbye. And he never, ever turned around or waved back. I always thought it was strange.
But now I realize, that the turn-around-and-wave thing is born out of emotion. It’s because you love somebody. You want to look again, see them, smile. It’s something my spath never, ever picked up on, never noticed amongst normal people (why would he, if he’s facing the other way)? and so, he never realized the action was there, and didn’t know he should go through the motions to fake it.
Another aha.
SK
something to share:
My spath cheated on me over five times in one year and the last lady he cheated on me with he met her on a dating site and after 3 months he has convinced her to quit her job, move herself and her two kids to the pacific northwest to live with him!
I’m mad for several reasons, he is getting away with this again! i’m also mad because the townhouse he lives i paid that security deposit and the new gal has moved on in and doesnt even know how he got the place to begin with.
My point: Spaths have power and they are amazingly versed at how to wheel that power and ultimately control their partners (victims). Can they even be beaten? Will they ever be stopped?
I’m happy to be done and over with that situation but I hate to see how he is doing this to another person. I know its not my responsibility to inform her, but my friends tell me to let her find out for herself because there were many blatant warning signs that she blew off!
Different,
How did you find out about his cheating. What was the initial phase with him like for you?
What red flags did you miss? What red flags do you see that she’s missing?
What you say is true. sad, isn’t it? Very sad…..there are always willing victims…always….they will always have someone they can screw over and I think it’s the most frustrating part of all of this for sure….
LL
Yes their dumb asses are willing and LL my ex spaths newbie is now threatening me. Says she is tired of hearing my name. Do spaths usually talk alot about exs? I know mine did and I kept thinking he must still love her so, I guess she is feeling the same. But threatening to hurt me, really, over this loser? Like Sky says (((puke))) I LOVE THAT! 🙂
I would like to know about the red flags too Diff.
Far,
Let it go. Ignore her too. I’ve been in her place. BELIEVE me, he is telling her some whoppers! She IS tired of hearing your name, but can you see what he’s doing here? He’s ALREADY USING YOU to torture HER!! So he gets what he wants. What a bastard, Far!!!
DON”T get caught into a trap in thinking he still loves ANYONE. Men that love do NOT do this garbage, Far. He doesn’t love anyone but himself.
Ignore the new gf. She knows not what she is doing. She is being spoonfed lies and he doesn’t mind doing it to get a reaction from you and form her, it’s not about LOVE at all. He could care less, it’s about HIM HIM HIM!!!
Don’t be angry with her. Whatever you do, even if she contacts you again, be totally boring and gray rock. DO NOT react. This is what he wants. Not because he wants YOU or HER, but because he enjoys the DRAMA….LOVES It…..
Tell her you do not wish to hear form her again and wish her well with the spath and hope that she can gain her own independence from him in the future, CALMLY!
LL