If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Duped , You are a gifted writer, you have a way with words, so sad about the subject tho, but I have a feelin thats gonna change for you .. welcome again….
((Duped))
agreed with Hens,
you have articulated your story very well. It’s a familiar story, succinctly put. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to enlighten the world with our experience and wisdom. They suck and we don’t.
BTW, you said something about, “it’s our world too, not just theirs”
No, it is OUR world. It was never theirs. the parasite creates and contributes nothing. They don’t even exist without us to provide a mirror. They are a virus. Don’t, PLEASE, DON”T put them at the same level as us.
The one piece of solid advice that I can give, when trying to leave a relationship with someone such as this is to get far away from them. Don’t let your ‘heart’ and ’emotions’ enter into it at all. I know that may make you feel as though you may be just like them but you are not! You are being rightfully ‘self protective’ of your OWN SELF and dealing with someone of this type of personality is dangerous not only to you physically but emotionally as well.
The interaction you continue to carry on with this person, once you are aware and recognize what it is you are truly dealing with, once you make that determination and THAT itself doesn’t come easy because your emotions involve themselves and over ride your common sense.
THAT is a trait in itself! Once you see this and recognize that you are in an abusive situation, a toxic existence, such as this, RUN AS FAR AWAY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN and get assistance. You know who you are and what you are experiencing…be honest with yourself and just do it before you end up like I have: wasted at the end of my life, literally.
Do everything you THREATEN. Leave NO stone unturned when making your choices and decisions. But remember, there COULD be only ONE chance to make that decision. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO BE SELFISH AND SELF PRESERVING!
Don’t let your heartfelt care and love lead you to a path of which there is no return.
Thank you for your comments on my posts.
They are being written with not only an indepth knowledge and firsthand understanding, they are also coming with nothing but the best of wishes and caring.
Happy week ahead, everyone.
Take some time for reflection and meditation…
THAT is always good for the soul.
DUPED
Hey skylar….you said:
” They don’t even exist without us to provide a mirror. They are a virus. Don’t, PLEASE, DON”T put them at the same level as us. ”
I have given what you said very deep thought and you are absolutely correct. They don’t even exist without us to provide that mirror. That is so very true. Well put.
I apologize for my kindness in assuming we all are entitled to co existence in our world. No implication being made that we are anywhere NEAR our counterpart humans.
Life without virtue and without compassion and integrity is worth nothing. When one realizes this is the truth of life, you would think the road signs along the way would take you to a place of higher understanding and existence SOMETIME in your lifetime. I have learned, the hard way that with a SPATH, there is no rehabilitation.
I tell myself all the time: “If he could have done this to ME, of all the people on the planet, HE CAN DO IT TO ANYONE.” Oh, he never used to be so ‘rabid’. He used to be a ‘great guy’ until all the pretenses started wearing off like chalk on a sidewalk, in the rain….
I am shocked and amazed at what I see behind me since I put him in the past. Well, almost. As you can see, I still have this clinging memory that I am doing well at breaking. The typical ‘bonding’ element of captive/captor. In most cases it was PHYSICALLY captive; in MY CASE it was all emotionally.
I know I will never be the same person again. This experience has ruined my life, for the rest of my life BUT making the most out of it beats the alternative; right?
But is it just ‘enough’ to be ‘satisfied’?
I want more than satisfaction from my life.
I want peace before I pass.
I will always feel for him, inside, the way I did that first moment of ‘I love you’ exchanged back and forth. He was a dashing ex military man; so handsome; so charming….it was the ‘dream’ I was sold yet it wasn’t just my dream; it became the same dream of several others as well.
It has taken years for this web to unweave in front of my eyes. I am starting to understand things in a way that I never thought I would. We aren’t responsible for them nor the way they are. We don’t have the answers for them. How can we when they aren’t even searching for them THEMSELVES? Nobody can be ‘saved’ unless they want to be saved. Nobody can be loved unless they want to be loved.
Have a great night everyone.
Don’t forget to thank the Angels tonight for all we DO have.
DUPED
DUPED_IN_SOCAL
Yeah, I wanted to be my spath’s hero…how sad is that? But he didn’t want to be rescued.
I had a brief encounter with a spath and I was able to see the red flags but continued with caution. He was not good looking but had a sweet talk, he knew how to lie and be deceitful. My gut feeling told me he was trouble but I stayed…within months he was talking to me about marriage and having a family, he had already selected a name for our first daughter, he met my family we talked about buying a house… but still there was something about him. His sexuality was sick, I was not comfortable. I had my doubts and began questioning and questioning, during the holidays, he had to work. I had doubts but something about him had me hooked. last thanksgiving he texted me to say how much he loved me but he wasnt going to be able to be with me for dinner, he just texted, “next week baby” — He passed away the following week suddenly in his sleep. I was devastated… at the celebration of his life, there she was, the official girlfriend sitting next to his parents and sisters… they all knew but stayed quiet. Why? I painfully watched all the pictures from all the years they had been together, the engagement party, their travels, the holidays (when he was too busy working.)… I was mad and didnt have anyone to be mad at anymore but myself for not listening to my gut feeling.
Alina:
Wow, what a story. Did you ever find out what made him die so suddenly in his sleep? Was an autopsy performed?
So, so sorry this happened to you. Don’t be mad at yourself. You are OK and will be OK…
The official report was flu complications. He was 37. He was the son of a public figure so I found out on TV of his death. I wonder how many more of me where sitting there quiently during the service.
Lesson learned, trust that gut feeling and dont walk away, run as fast as you can and dont look back.
Alina:
Was he an unhealthy person? I only ask because it seems odd to die from flu complications when you are only 37 unless a person is already compromised in some way. Good point about how many others were at the service. You can probably bet you were not the only one…sad.