If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Dear H2H and Hens,
Thanks for the replies. Hens, OH STOP IT!!! You have way to much empathy to be a spath : )
hahahaha@one/joy_step_at_a_time…..
Honey, I so KNOW that feeling!
Don’t let me rain on your HATE PARADE!
I from time to time have those myself and all it does is increase my blood pressure to the point that I am borderline stroke/heart attack all over again. Spaths aren’t worth all that. They wouldn’t give you the time of day in YOUR deepest hour of need, they deserve not even thoughts.
YES: I SAID THOUGHTS!
Hmm…Od’ing on carbs, there, joy? 🙂
Ah yes, Ana: after the experiences WE HAVE ALL HAD, your rule of: ‘everyone is a spath until proven otherwise’ is a good one to make a wall placque out of and hang it on the door. 🙂
YOU GUYS ALL ROCK!
I started ‘healing’ last year when he attempted to murder me. That was a HUGE eye opening experience. Trust me. I have been trying to heal ever since with two relapses. Only the last one isn’t really counted as a ‘relapse’ because I lured him to me just so I could chop his face off! 🙂
NOW who is the spath? hehehehe
Oh yes, all those things I had stored up inside of me for the last five years, KAPOW! BOOM! BAM! He got them all; trust me. I slammed the door so hard in his face it made the building shake and I meant every single word of it.
Every letter and vowel.
He texted me on his way out of town that our seeing one another sure wasn’t what he had hoped for and I just bet it wasn’t. I told him to never bother me again. He said he would try not to contact me ever again and I told him to NOT “TRY” just don’t.
I advised him of his legal rights and that he should seek counsel.
And I turned my back on him and walked away, leaving him standing there feeling whatever it is spaths feel.
And that has been three weeks now.
I got my closure. I TOOK my closure.
LIVE WITH THAT you jerk wad!
But you see, my spath: he is obsessed with me. Not a good thing.
I am alright. MY infatuation with him died a long time ago. I am sorry for him because I know he is sick but I refuse to subject myself to it all any longer. Period.
I made my own resolutions and he can just pack it up and go LIVE WITH HIMSELF and HIS CHOICES and I no longer feel sorry for him at all. I am moving on, WITH a clear conscious.
Spath’s HAVE NO FEELINGS. They want you to think they do but they are only minions of the darkness who wander the earth devouring peoples souls and you all know I am right.
As for me, I am not going to spend what little life I have left being subserviant to a monster. 🙂
Sorry, joy….I guess I had one too many carbs too! 🙂 xxoo
Have a good night and put that devil out of your thoughts.
If you keep going through and reliving all the pain, they are STILL winning. They don’t deserve to win.
DUPED
Yeah Hens ~ ain’t NO WAY you’re a spath. Way too sweet for that.
hey duped – you need MORE carbs. 🙂
I don’t think anyone here is a spath. There is too much hurt and sorrow dripping from the pages and the words for you to be spaths on the other side of this screen! xxoo
I am grateful to have you all around and with me.
We will see each other through these horrid times.
Blessings to you all ~
You are all in my prayers tonight.
DUPED
hahahahaha one/joy…..
I probably DO need more carbs! 😉
Have a good night….
This spathinator is ready for some zzzzz action.
Night everyone; sleep tight.
DUPED
Duped,
you said you had a heart attack and now have a heart condition. I’m sorry that the spath took a toll on your body.
Mine did too. I thought I had fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, but it turned out a proportion of that was due to the poison he was putting in my food for over 20 years. Small bits of strychnine and botulism toxin, is what he admitted to.
Still, over those years that I was trying to find the answer to my illness, I studied alternative medicine and discovered how much power we have over our health. Magnesium, carnitine and CQ10 are all very helpful to heart health, since they support the mitochondria’s energy function in our muscles. I hope you are able to do something to create health in your body and outlive that MOFO spath.
I just now came across the site while in the process of realization that I am most definitely involved with a sociopath. After a tumultuous 5yr relationship, I finally got out, & and believed after 2yrs apart I was finally over him. Unfortunately, he decided Now that He cant live without me & has changed, accepting all the blame for what happened between us. I, mistakenly decided to give him a second chance, only to find out hes not only everything I thought he was but so much more evil than I couldve imagined. I am now struggling to remove myself from the relationship, but it is an addiction, & his poison is still paralyzing me….I am finding so much out on this website, helping me realize it Is Him, not me. So I hope this will be a useful tool this time, in getting away from him for good…..(think i posted in the wrong spot)
Good Morning, Dear Skylar,
Yes, I had a massive heart attack in October and nearly died. The doctors said it was from stress and he didn’t even KNOW my history. Imagine that. 70% heart damage. Spath knew all this but do you think there was any care? No. In fact, he found it quite amusing and ‘laughable’. You know how that scenario goes, Skylar, I am sure, by everything you have told me. You know the callousness and the cold heartedness…..
When my spath tried to kill me, he did so with intent and well, “we have a legal situation, Houston”! Sooner or later the ball is going to drop on him and if he thinks his life has been a nightmare the last year that he has been estranged from his wife (who is now an ex wife) and the divorce has finalized, he is in for a big surprise when I pass; trust me.
Him and his spath girlfriend who is even WORSE than he is, if you can comprehend that!
Or, let me rephrase that: ‘his girlfriend of the moment’. It’s interesting to note that our last ‘little visit’ where I lowered the boom on him after five solid years of his torment, he was trying to get back into my bed with the announcement that ‘she is going to be history shortly as well’. I can’t get into this any further at the moment, I am sure you understand. Just know that there is one spath in our world who is headed straight for jail, sooner or later. He has already been there once, for assaulting his ex wife. His ‘older’, financially secure, ex wife.
She and I have become friends and look out for one another while he is running loose and homeless on the streets. He has a new victim now, who has jumped in, unknowing, with both feet and again, she is alone and vulnerable.
At one point while she was up in MY FACE, being his ‘new cleaner’, I warned her that she was next and she started screaming: “You are such a liar! He told me you were a liar and not to believe a thing you said!” Right; whatever. He knows. That’s the point. He knows. And, now, so do I.
Nobody will ever come to know the amount of stress I have been under. It has almost killed me but THAT is not the ‘murdering’ I am speaking of, although I am sure if I tried, he would be found ‘guilty’ of ruining my life medically, that heart attack is not the instance of ‘murder’ I speak of.
I can’t disclose the actual situation because of legal issues. Legal issues I fully intend to pursue at some point. I mean, it’s the point of the whole thing: my life is as important as the next persons. The law seems to be the only thing and/or language that he seems to have any respect for so I told him he needed to seek some counsel and discuss what my rights are at this point and what are his.
Imagine being dumped by one of your mistresses, the day before your divorce is final from your wife. Imagine what that had to feel like. Of course, we all know spaths don’t feel or experience the same emotions as we do. But trust me, it sure felt good lowering him to the position in my world where he deserves to be.
He is fishing on the internet, ladies: word up…
Charming, handsome, seemingly very articulate, interesting man…for the most part, clean and just so charming! If I were to go through my laundry list of things I have experienced over the past five years, Skylar, you would have nightmares. I wrestled with this devil for five solid years and he turned me into an animal; someone I couldn’t even recognize. I said that it was mind control like Charles Manson had over his women. Such similar control.
Yes, I almost died from my heart condition, but there is another issue I am not at liberty to discuss at this time.
Perhaps sometime in the future. He purposely tried to kill me and admitted doing so. As proud as he seems to be with his darkness, I am sure he won’t have any problem confessing once the boom is lowered because he KNOWS he has been caught. He messed with the WRONG WOMAN when he first texted me, I can tell you. I have a legal/law enforcement background. 🙂 He DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER when he got me! 🙂
I MEANT every single word I told him when he stopped by last. The visit was a short one but one filled with complete resolution. Totally.
Thanks Skylar, for your caring. I am sorry for what has happened to you, too. If I were to tell you the ‘means’ with which he attempted to kill me, you wouldn’t believe it. “I” believe it because I am going through it. And, he smiled in my face and he said: “I guess I did, didn’t I?” 🙂 Imagine the coldness of THAT?~!!
He gave me that glib: “I am sorry…” but I don’t believe it for not one moment. He needs to stay away from me and not bother me any further. I have been trying to get rid of him since he almost killed me a year ago.
I am taking care of myself as best as I possibly can but with a 70% heart mass destruction, it’s short. As I said, there are people and authorities who are completely aware of this situation. He is NOT welcomed by the authorities in my area and not in the area where his ex wife lives. He is leaving a swath behind him in his wake and the ‘new girlfriend’ is ten times WORSE than he is. If that can be believed. He is taking HER LIFE from her, too, but she just doesn’t see it yet. She thinks she is in love and so happy….even after the beatings she has already taken.
When she was up in my face, immediately after my heart attack, by telephone, before the whole ‘roadshow’ was blocked from my world, I warned her but her jealousy of me wouldn’t let her listen. She is on her own.
He is sucking the life SHE has left from her and she don’t even recognize it. But, she is not my concern, because SHE is worse than he is.
24/7 I was bombarded with his life. I was the good little worker bee; cleaner; world stabilizer; I was a member of that army for five years. The good little worker bee.
He doesn’t want to be with ME because he knows I will NOT tolerate him and his play games. I don’t feel sorry for him any longer. He came once to visit me and was surrounded by police out in front of my home. I had made three reports on him for his death threats by then. They know who he is and what he is all about and told him he was not welcome in this town and that he should hit the road and keep on moving; that they would give him an ‘escort’ out of town if he wanted one or didn’t know which way to go. If he wanted to stay in town, they were sure they could find him a cot and 3 squares. 🙂
My local authorities are AMAZING and I have the utmost faith that they protect me. UTMOST! The only thing they can’t do to protect me is to protect me FROM MYSELF. 🙂
I am not afraid of my spath because I have learned along the way that they DO FEEL FEAR. He is completely afraid of me. And, I never back down. I don’t do hitting and/or physical abuse and I do NOT let people force their way into my life and my world.
I have lived alone the past 12 years by choice, not happenstance. I don’t need a man in my world as I have always taken care of myself in this life. He doesn’t want nor need a strong woman in his life. When he was finished with me, he told me: “You are of no further use to me; I am done with you.” 🙂 ——> WHOM is DONE with WHOM?
It was all a game; all manipulation, even to my detriment and that is ‘love’? I don’t think so….
He is worried and nervous as to ‘when’ he is going to be served with a subpoenae. He keeps trying to find out about me: am I still alive or dead? His future rests on my good welfare, at this point and it’s all out of HIS CONTROL. They don’t like it when they lose control. They HATE losing control over their situations. They can pass it out but I have found that they sure can’t take it.
That makes him dangerous to me but he won’t harm me because THEN it will befall him all the quicker. I mean every word. I am going to do all I can to STOP HIM before I die. Believe it. For myself, for his wife, and for all the other victims he has terrorized along the way.
I loved him; I tried to help him with my kindness and all he has done has been to try killing me and walked away laughing about it. He ruined my life and I don’t think I am ready to ‘let go’ of him just yet. He owes me a little something….and, trust me, I AM going to get it.
Blessings to you Skylar…..((((((take care of yourself))))))))
We can be us without having THEM define our lives. If we were to allow THEM to define our lives, we would truly be in a very sad state of affairs, now, wouldn’t we?
I have no more nightmares at night. But, I just bet I know one person that does. 🙂 Karma comes full circle; always. 🙂
Thanks Skylar…I will keep you in my prayers.
Just have to get a little harder; a little tougher.
He was the first man I allowed in my life in over 12 years.
And he tries to kill me. Talk about being deceived….
mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxoo
DUPED
Welcome Jennicat!
Happy you are here.
This site is AMAZING…..jump right in; please.
Hopefully you will find the strength and courage in our words. Living the lives we have lived with our spaths has isolated us and we have managed to find ourselves here. 🙂
Make sure you read EVERY WORD on this site, Jennicat.
And if you need us, we are here. xxoo Blessings.
There IS no ‘wrong spot’ to post here, Dearest…
WELCOME! Come join us…while we attempt ‘recovery’.
DUPED