If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Back_from_the_edge
P.S. I will check back when I return from my counseling appointments and will wait with anticipation to hear all of your ‘field trip’ stories…… mwah! xxoo
YES:::::HOMEWORK!
DUPED
kim frederick
Darsmom, i agree that we need to get through the CD, and put it into perspective…It’s part of the process. But there comes a point when it’s time to let go and move on. 20 some years ago, when i found out my Xhub had cheated on me, had emotionally abandoned me, had treated me for seven years like a wad of gum on his shoe, whose sole purpose was to clean his house and wash his socks, well all the denial fell away and i was devestated and crazy to figure it out. It took me 2 full years to stop the ruminations. i remember the exact moment when i turned the corner and said NO. That is none of my business. It was then that i could focus my energy on my LIFE. MY WANTS, MY NEEDS, MY ISSUES, MY SELF.
I’m not saying no one should be in that stage, but if you are getting really tired of it, like i was, there are some tools you can use to get past it.
how is Dar? Pinky-doodle is triggering my abandonment anxiety. he doesn’t want to spend much time in the house with me. i’ve been leaving him food and water outside on the porch, when I go to work, and think i’ve been enabling him to think he doesn’t need me anymore. This AM i left water, but no food. Am i being controlling/ Probably, but he’s a cat, right/ LOL.
One more thing, I have a strange tingling, electrical zapping, twitching, pins and needles sensation in my legs ankles and feet, more so, in the left one than the right. Knowing what you do about chakras, energy work, and trauma, can you tell me what you think? It’s been getting worse, lately. Thanks.
darwinsmom
Left is the receiving part of the body, right is the giving half of the body. Ankles and feet are your tools of self-support, independence and grounding.
So, if there is no physical cause for this sensation, then it seems the receiving and giving of independence and grounding is not fully balanced. I suggest to do some meditation that focus on grounding… I sometimes hold a fossile rock that is nice to the touch for this… or you can imagine yourself jumping up and down in the mud with your bare feet (like a kid), or lieing in the grass in a glenn or forrest. Imagine yourself feeling the grass with your fingers. In deeper meditation you might even sink into the ground, in a cave system, traveling to the center of the earth. Any image of yourself connecting to earth will help your grounding. Once you feel it, start to look around. You might notice someone coming to you, or an animal or an item and ask it what they mean… normally an answer will immediately pop up into your mind.
I did a grounding exercise shortly before the break-up, and my forest was sadly enough turned into a dumpster full of rubbish thrown all over the place. I even saw leaking oil vats that were heavily corrosed. And the instant message I had in my mind was: “clear out the rubbish… clean it up.” I’ve redone a grounding exercise afterwards and while there is still some cleaning to do, most of the rubbish is gone. No more leaking oil vats killing the forest anymore.
darwinsmom
But it’s also safe to check whether there are medical causes for this. Never hurts to do both.
Darwin is peacefully sleeping in the red couch, his ears perking once in a while with the sounds of the environment. He was running around crazy last night though, fake charging me with a thick tail to entice me into a game. At least he wasn’t stealing a tampon to plume it like a fake bird or something.
hens
Kimmer’s Do you wear high heels?
kim frederick
Thanks, so much, Darsmom. That sounds amazingly accurate. I am struggling with the giving (my cat) and recieving of independance!! Huge issues for me.
Do you believe that trauma can get trapped in the body? I have noticed that if I do some deep breathing meditation, and think something like Healing with the inbreath, imagine my breath pushing through my body, down my legs into my feet, rounding about and coming back, then with my outbreath I think, “trauma”, it seems to help a lot.
I will try some of your grounding excersises. I like the idea of jumping in mud with bare feet. 🙂
kim frederick
hens, I mostly wear flip flops. The ones I wear the most have a rubbery platform….don’t know if you’d call them high heeled. They are about two and a half inches high.
darwinsmom
Yes, trauma is emotional related and thus also hormonal. The lack or overflooding of hormones can have its effects on our nervous system: whether the brain or the rest of our body. And let’s not forget that when we go through a physical trauma, all kinds of chemicals are released in the body, that sometimes can lead to shock.
If you are actually doing healing exercises, it would be best to vocalize those thoughts. The healing and growth centre is in the throat where your vocal chords are and the thyroid (with the growth hormones). Healing and sound are therefore interlinked, and the reason why music can be such a solace to us. Meditations focused on that part, when truly healing-healing, are often very 2 dimensional… instead of 3D.
But best start with grounding, and when that is better aligned you can slowly work your way up.
skylar
Thanks Gem and 92044,
I know you are both right, I just needed to hear it because I do wish I could help her so badly.
I’ll delete my post now because it has too much identifying info about her.
ElizabethBennett
disappointed that I didn’t pass my test-apparently I don’t type fast enough and now I have to re-test in August. Gotta find a class or a program to help increase my speed and accuracy.