If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.
For more on this topic, see Donna Andersen’s book, Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.
Kim, I LOVE the story about your daughter going to France! This is pretty much how both my Costa Rica trips happened for me.
I was thinking about Costa Rica, when all of a sudden I got a flyer in the mail (out of the blue) for a medical massage training in Costa Rica last year. I ended up taking the training in Denver but going to Costa Rica anyway. This time around, I really wanted to go but didn’t have the money. But then an internet friend gifted me half the cost of the trip. She had observed me doing a fundraiser and decided I deserved the money. Prayer, intention, visualization….whatever name you call it by……it works.
Psychos are good for the realization of some sexual and maybe even other type of fantasies, too. But nothing more because they’re wild, can not be tied.
A bit of respect for the psychopathic personality, please! 😀
Nolarn, it’s a really TOUGH economy right now. Highly qualified people are getting turned down for jobs. Don’t take it personally. Keep your thoughts positive and your energy level high. After all is said and done, if they interview two candidates with identical experience, it’s the impression you make in the interview, your attitude, enthusiasm and personality that will land you the job.
On the other end, there are a few organizations like churches that will pay your rent on a one-time basis. Try some place like United Way or a local church. Don’t take your frustration about rent to the job interview. Keep a positive attitude. It seems you are making great progress and something is coming soon.
Hugs,
Star
Nola, the job market is tough right now – I know that is little consolation to you at the moment.
My daughter applied for 100 jobs! She only got responses to a couple and 2 interviews! There are sooo many people chasing so few jobs. The secret (I think) is to make yourself stand out. Recite the job description. Memorise the jargon, research and, just like the pop stars, re-brand yourself.
After spath I found I had let myself go. So I dyed my hair, plucked my eyebrows, bought a new eyeshadow in bright blue, bought a few cheap bangles and dangly earrings etc.
If we feel good on the outside it helps us feel good on the inside. Hard to do I know when you are desperate for a job.
If it helps……When I’m interviewing (cos there are always loads of applicants) the first things I look at are:
1. Application form- if it’s not filled in in black ink (as it states at the top of the page) Bin it.
2. No post code – bin it
3. Untidy writing – bin it
4. Spelling and other errors – bin it
5. Blank spaces on the form – bin it
These are first impressions, before I even get to read the form or ask the person to attend an interview.
At interview:
1. Smart – and smart casual is ok ie clean and tidy
2. Smile
3. Firm handshake
4. Something that makes you stand out from the others on the day (like a bright floaty scarf)
And that FIRST few seconds is VITAL.
My downfall/weakness as an interviewee is that I talk too much! I’m working on that.
It’s so frustrating when we KNOW we can do the job. I’m on a temp contract and will be applying for jobs myself soon. So I’m reminding myself just what it is I need to do too! I hope my interviewer is kind cos I really need a job.
Chin up:)
ps. It’s widely recommended that ‘we’ attend an interview (even if we don’t want the job) every 6 months so that we are always ready and up-to-date with interview techniques.
Thanks Star and Candy-I’m just in tears right now because I just had to talk to the lady from my car loan to update her and tell her that I still can’t make my May payment. It just really set me off failing that test this morning because instead of having a full time job soon, I have to wait til at least August when I take the test again. I just hope that they continue with my background checks while the time passes. They want me but I have to pass the test and the other two women that applied with me failed it too. I’m really discouraged right now. I have an appointment with Crescent House after my counseling appt on Tuesday to navigate how to get some kind of assistance-maybe govt too. Any day now I will be getting another disconnect notice for my utilities.
Nola – cry it out and THEN face the world again.
Take some consolation from the fact that the other two candidates did not pass so it WAS NOT just YOU.
Firstly do you really NEED the car? Could you sell it and release some cash? Maybe buy a cheaper one? August is a way off so keep applying for jobs ANY jobs. Even if it’s serving at the check-out or pub work, anything that gets you into employment.
Well done for looking at the possibilities of benefits – not sure if you get unemployment benefit where you are.
Sometimes changing your utility provider can save you some money (if possible).
Do you have a friend you could share with for a while? It would be cheaper than living alone. Then when you are back in employment you could house hunt again.
::NEWS FLASH::
A law was just passed, here, in America giving law enforcement authorities the right to access all of our personal and private information online. For instance, on Facebook: you can set your settings to private but law enforcement will still be able to access your information. Anyone’s information; even SPATH FISHING parasites.
My, my, what a turn of events! hmmm?
There is hope. Internet spathers beware!!!!
If authorities have reasonable suspicion to believe that a crime is being committed, they have now have the absolute right to enter that private information without a search warrant.
Be careful what you put out there.
Sometimes our footprints are indelible.
Nolarn,
This will probably sound very very crazy to you – you have come to know my out-of-the-box thinking by now. 🙂 But you don’t need ANY of those things – car, that apartment, etc. – either for survival or for happiness. Those things in and of themselves do not make you happy, and you can survive without them, believe it or not. Let go of the worrying and stay positive! This comes from someone who’s lost everything once or twice. I see things differently now. Maybe cause I’m older. It is especially challenging to stay positive when the chips are way down. This is where your strength of character is tested. Stay positive and focus on what you want and not what you are afraid of or don’t want (poverty). If you’ve learned anything from reading about my life, the things you worry about the most are the things you will bring into your life. It sucks but this is how the universe works.
When I was at my poorest, I decided to forget I was poor and put a trip to Costa Rica on my credit card. I cannot tell you all the gifts that trip has given to me – the new hope, new awareness, new possibilities. Because of the trip, I am much less attached to material things – my condo, my car – none of this is important to me any more. Ironically, since I’ve spent less money on stuff I thought I needed, I have all this extra money at the end of the month that I never had before. I don’t really know where it came from. I stopped focusing on poverty and started thinking about what I wanted in my life. I’m still working on that part.
nolarn:
Stay positive. I know it is very hard, but it’s the only way. I am also a very good, loyal, qualified employee and hardly even got interviews when I was looking. It’s just tough right now and the post earlier about seeing if a church can help pay your rent is great. I know my church does this; they will not turn anyone away if they are asked. You have to use all resources available when you need them. I know it is frustrating.